I'm in a pickle, The first week of may 2008 after a separation with a girlfriend of 2months I did meet with my ex girlfriend to explain why we shouldn't get back together, in the process of this meeting we made love which was very poor judgment on my part because I was sure there was no reasonable future of us continuing the relationship so we went our separate ways with the understanding that it was over so I believed, four months later I get a call from the girl stating I'm going to be a father, at the same time she telling other people that I'm not the only one she was with, so I naturally said the child may not be mine and until the child was born to leave me alone. Later she recanted her statement that there was someone else in her life it was just a joke to get at me, well that put doubt in my mind otherwise I would have thought the child is mine without reservations. Well our daughter was born Feb 15Th 2009 5pm and the mother contacted me to inform me. At first I rejected her call without proof of paternity,since then I've decided to except the child as mine to do everything in my power to provide for her, and after looking at our child's living conditions I'm concerned and believe it would be in the best interest of our daughter that I retain sole custody allowing frequent visitation with her mother for I truly believe a child should have both parents involvement in their lives on a consistent as possible basis, the mother is now living in a 3 bedroom house with her parents and her brother the mother has 5 kids before ours which makes 6 her last is 2yrs old so that 4 adults and 6 children in a 3 bedroom house. I live alone with a puppy in a two bedroom apartment which I feel will be better living condition for our daughter now we both are unemployed I lost my job Nov 08 I receive unemployment now until I find work but what ever assistance she gets for our child I thought I should be able to get if she's with me until I get more income started, I'm also a paid church musician so I'm able to provide for our daughter, so my question is what if anything can and should I do thank you for reading this I know its long winded but I want to get my point across with background info, oh I don't want to take our child out of the mothers life just change our daughters living condition, the mother and I cannot live with each other for our own personal reason so that not an option help thank u, PS I'm new to this site so please help me out thanks and yes I am a real man!!

Did you have a D.N.A. test or are you just assuming the child is yours?
Your answer to that question would impact the answers you will receive.

The first thing you should do is find the period and shift keys on your keyboard. That was brutal trying to read it.

Second, go to court and get paternity established. At that point you can request custody and/or visitation. Explain the situation to them as you explained to us with the living conditions, but be prepared for them to tell you no.

It is VERY difficult for a father to get physical custody of a newborn if the mother objects, unless she can be proven to be unfit. Tight living quarters does not make one unfit.

I know you said that you can't be together, but maybe the can both move in. You do not have to have a relationship to share a home. Just a thought.