View Full Version : I think I might be suicidal.
zaatrixAngel
Mar 25, 2009, 09:29 PM
I think I'm suicidal, I'm not scared about being suicidal but if I am I want to know if I should go to a phycologist or see a metal health doctor.
To get help I'll tell you that, I am seventeen years old, go to a school where my beliefs and views of life are unacceptable. I am a homosexual female, and my family problems are getting worse by the week. Not to forget that my Bro is hompphobic.
I constantly cut my arms, wrist and chest with knives, and exacto knives. I scratch the skin off my arms until' I am left with raw, bleeding marks that can be from one inch to six inches. For the last six months I have been taking ten - fifteen advil a day. Some time's I take enough Advil to make my head spin and when I feel like I'm going to throw up, I take some more. The people that think there my friends at school say they care, which only makes it worse. Sometimes I feel like hanging myself or laying on the high way or train tracks...
So some one if you know the signs of suicide. Tell me. I really think that I should know how to take care of myself. Because I can't abandon my family... :(
JoeCanada76
Mar 25, 2009, 09:44 PM
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/)
Yes, you need to seek help. Your inflicting so much physical damage to yourself and emotional. Please go to a phychologist, mental health doctor asap.
Please call this help line.
Nestorian
Mar 25, 2009, 11:06 PM
I think I'm suicidal, I'm not scared about being suicidal but if I am I want to know if I should go to a phycologist or see a metal health doctor.
To get help I'll tell you that, I am seventeen years old, go to a school where my beliefs and views of life are unacceptable. I am a homosexual female, and my family problems are getting worse by the week. Not to forget that my Bro is hompphobic.
I constantly cut my arms, wrist and chest with knives, and exacto knives. I scratch the skin off of my arms until' I am left with raw, bleeding marks that can be from one inch to six inches. For the last six months I have been taking ten - fifteen advil a day. some time's I take enough Advil to make my head spin and when i feel like I'm going to throw up, I take some more. The people that think there my friends at school say they care, which only makes it worse. Sometimes I feel like hanging myself or laying on the high way or train tracks....
So some one if you know the signs of suicide. Tell me. I really think that I should know how to take care of myself. Because I can't abandon my family...:(
I agree the calling of the help line. You seem to be dealing with a lot, I have a vid for you to watch. YouTube - All American Rejects "Move Along" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWD1vGy6SAA&feature=channel_page) Think about it. There are ways to cope with the feelings you feel. I imagine that you are Afraid of something's witch stresses you out, then you get frustrated and feel angery, witch turns to hate (can be for another, but I'm guessing for yourself.) That's why you feel a need to suffer so, Please don't take this as me making fun of you, I believe these words are true: Yoda, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” (as you read what I put before, you notice I siad the same thing different words.)
You may not be so much suicidal as self destructive, at any rate its pretty much the same thing. I too have these qualities, so I hope that I can give you some kind of useful info.
It depends on what is going on in your head; if you are doing these things: cutting, taking too many pills, and scratching yourself, to release stress and it's more of a cognitive disorder, something you can control with thoughts alone and learning ways to cope with them. Then you will want to talk to a counseler, or Psychologist.
If it's a matter of a chemical imbalancing in your brain, more aggressive action may need to be taken. This means medications, and finding out if you are Bipolar, or suffer from some other mental illness. (Mental illness is quite common actually, I've read that more then half of all people have one. But who really knows right?:rolleyes:) Then talk to a Psychyatrist, because they know more about how chemicals effect the brain. HOWEVER! They do know know exactly how meds effect people, or for that matter why they do effect us how they do. It's a trial and error process, it takes time, but once you find something that works for you, it's worth it. People can say medications are bad all they want, but they don't know jack till they've learned about them in an extensive way. A lot of people say meds are bad, but they really don't try to work with their Psych do they? IF you don't like it, talk to your Psych and tell them why, keep trying different ones till it is acceptable. Nothing is perfect eh? Sorry, didn't want you to fall into the typical stigma people have about meds, also, vitamins and other "natural" remadies, can work, but you must be careful with them. 5HTP is a neurotransmiter, it works by increasing the amount of serotonin in the brain, but if your brain already produces too much serotonin, then you run the risk of developing schiozophrenia, and various other illnesses. Please do not toy with these things. See a Psych.
Doctors, have a general knowledge of these things, but they don't know the fine details, besure to be asking for a Psych's opinion on any meds you are given. You may have to see a doctor to get a referral to a Psychologist, and/or Psychiatrist.
Just out of curiosity, what are your views and beliefs that are unacceptable? I know how hard it is to feel accepted, especailly when it comes to personal beliefs. For example, I believe, that Praying is the same as Meditation, Self-affrimations, and the scinetific altering of neuro synaptic connections of the brain by means of imagination; are all the same thing, with different words to describe them. So I use the phrase, "All are one, and one is all." led-zeppelin Stairway to heaven, to express that. A lot of people think I'm odd, but I guess I am.
I"m not sure what i can tell you to make things better for you, so i'll leave you with the very things that help me get through.
First you should know, that i'm suicidal, Bipolar, and recently found a deeper issue that started when i was the age of 2 or 3. So i cut, close myself off from others, hate myself often, feel lonely pretty much all the time, feel hopeless, useless, lost and so on. So i hope you will take what i tell you about myself and feel not so alone. As the song goes, "By myself but not alone." - Metalica (I think it's: where ever I may roam?)
Well I hope these help you or that you get some good info out of all this.
Nestorian
Mar 25, 2009, 11:19 PM
I have a lot more to tell you, on the matter of your stress, anxiety, self mutilation, and your sexuality. No I don't think there is anything wrong with loving the same sex. I just want to inform you as much as possible so that you, can get better, or not, I can't save you. That, my friend is up to you... (Please forgive me for that.) Here are some songs I think may help you, and I have many suggestions for you to help you cope with stress and family. If you'd like them, just let me know and I'll give you what I think will benafit you.
This song has a lot of deep wisedom in its verses.
YouTube - Stairway To Heaven (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxMoesasza4&feature=PlayList&p=6D5EDA34DF37929B&index=2)
Some say it's a song of Hope, and new beginings, I agree. Others think it's satanic, go figure.:rolleyes:
YouTube - Three Days Grace - Never Too Late (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWapziQ2mAk&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=0&playnext=1)
(helps when you feel sad some times.)
YouTube - Three days grace - Pain (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otZdiO0q6pU&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=3) (this one too)
YouTube - Crossfade-Cold (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n61Du5lhWio&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=8)
I like to listen to this song when Im not in the mood to talk to any one... Some times we need to be a little more selfish.
YouTube - Everybody By Stabilo Boss the new version! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvH2KqU4HUs&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=17)
This one too. Kind of self empowering, I guess.
YouTube - silverchair - Shade (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUCrls6vc_U&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=26)
YouTube - Linkin Park - Numb (Official Video & w/ Lyrics) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxlriLkiP2E&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=39)
YouTube - Youth Of The Nation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEVPoo0kOa4&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=29)
YouTube - everybody's free to wear sunscreen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L44WMesvTUU&feature=channel_page)
P.S. Cutting is addicting, it releases endorphines. Chemicals in the brain that prevent neuro transmitters form passing between synaptic gaps. This acts like a natural pain killer, and it makes us feel good, like happy, almost euphoric. It's a dangerous thing, and can be very damaging to a person.
Please do take care, and should you hurt yourself, don't feel too bad you're not the only one. Try to forgive yourself, love yourself, and get to know yourself...
Peace and kindness be with you.
L-001-06-H
Mar 29, 2009, 07:35 AM
Yes, I recommend seeing somebody professionally.. HOWEVER, I also recommend trying some other methods with a more personal touch... if you see anyone else struggling with the same problems, help them.. stick with them, and try to be there for them... it'll not only help them, but help you. You'll feel better about yourself, you'll start thinking you're stronger (because you'll actually see and realize you are) and you'll start realizing how much people actually do need you... that's the main reason I got on here right now... I'm not sure if you believe in god, or if you believe in chance.. but I believe both lead me here tonight, and I still have no clue why... but hopefully I can make a difference for someone else, if not myself...
As for the cutting issue, it is something you can resist, but just like smoking, it's hard and takes allot of effort... I have tourettes, I also smoke.. and I've had to keep both under control at the same time... it's hard.. it can be done. And applying yourself to a cause helps immensely...
Do not kill yourself, it does more damage than good, and rarely works.. trust me. And incidentally, if you need someone to talk to, just talk to anyone that'll listen. Weather you even know said person personally or not.. it helps.
Anyway, take care.. hope I helped.
-DETATCH
Nestorian
Mar 29, 2009, 12:54 PM
yes, i recommend seeing somebody professionally.. HOWEVER, i also recommend trying some other methods with a more personal touch... if you see anyone else struggling with the same problems, help them.. stick with them, and try to be there for them... it'll not only help them, but help you. you'll feel better about yourself, you'll start thinking you're stronger (because you'll actually see and realize you are) and you'll start realizing how much people actually do need you... that's the main reason i got on here right now.... i'm not sure if you believe in god, or if you believe in chance.. but i believe both lead me here tonight, and i still have no clue why... but hopefully i can make a difference for someone else, if not myself....
as for the cutting issue, it is something you can resist, but just like smoking, it's hard and takes allot of effort..... i have tourettes, i also smoke.. and i've had to keep both under control at the same time... it's hard.. it can be done. and applying yourself to a cause helps immensely....
do not kill yourself, it does more damage than good, and rarely works.. trust me. and incidentally, if you need someone to talk to, just talk to anyone that'll listen. weather you even know said person personally or not.. it helps.
anyways, take care.. hope i helped.
-DETATCH
Be careful with helping others with a similar issue, you can soon find that you have given the last bit of energy you have to some one who is not grateful, and then you'll be emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually drained.
I've done that, and it caused me to fall apart, but to each their own. Please do take care.