OK. So this guy I've known for about 4 years now. He has always been my best friend of course I've always wanted more than that with him yet he has his problems. About 3 months ago he calls me and tells me that he is done with all the drugs and wants to be with me. So of course I'm all excited and "ran" to him. Now the whole reason that he even got into the drugs was 2 years ago he had a brother die of an over-dose. So he just went down hill. Yet I was right there by his side if he ever needed me. And I still loved him just the same. Yet even at that time he did want to be with me but he still chose the drugs over me, so at that time I told him I'm still here for him but as far as a relationship goes he is going to have to call me when he is done with the drugs. So that brings me to about 3 months ago now we decide to get together finally! Our relationship is going GREAT then out of no where a 2nd brother of his dies also of an over-dose. So now you can imagine how worried I am about my man. Not only the fact about losing his as far as "us" but also the same way as his brothers. Anyway he starts pushing me away and I do try to give him his space.
He has a buddy that has a car. Oh. Guess I need to say that he dose not have a vehicle or job.. (I know why am I with a guy like that?) honestly I really don't know ask God or my heart.. lol but anyway so he has this buddy of his that the night that his 2nd bro died I asked him if he wants to be a truly good friend to him to not take him to do something stupid that he will regret in the future. So I continue giving him his space yet I know he is running around with his buddy. I'm not stupid I was raised around drugs I know what kind of signs to look for. So I start noticing things when I'm over there and even when I'm talking to him on the phone.
So we go for a walk one day and I decide to tell him how I feel about everything including his buddy. Well of course he gets upset at me and tells me he doesn't want to hear about it.
So I shut up. Well later that day I had to leave to go to work, next thing I know his buddy starts textin me cussin at me telling me that he knows how I feel about him so I decided "fine ill tell you how i feel about you" so I did and he tells me that he would never take daniel to get any drugs. So anyway next thing I know daniel text me telling me that we need to talk. OK so. I'm waiting and finally at 2:30 am he calls me basically tells me that at the rate we are going right now we would end up hating each other and he doesn't want to loose his "best friend"... so a few days go by and I decide to try textin him just to say hey and he text me back telling me to stop textin him for a while. OK so that's where I'm at now... any advice anyone?? Oh I guess I should let you know I don't know why and I've even prayed and asked God to pull me away yet I still love him like I've never loved any other man. Like I said before he is what he is "no job, no car, still lives with his parents at 27) and yet I can't get past my heart or God telling me otherwise.

I'm a religious person, but that isn't god keeping you with him. It's your heart. He's under a huge amount of stress right now, I imagine that this death got him to thinking about other negative and stressful things at the same time, it's an almost unstoppable chain reaction after a horrible event such as death. The last thing he needs right now is to worry about having to make you happy and/or not making you upset with him. His mind is also probably kind of screwy right now, he might beblaming himself for a lot of things including the that death. The only thing you can do is respect his wishes, he needs time to recover. Trying to force your way in will most likely end up just hurting your relationship with him. Patience. Good luck.

-Mouse

Hi Heather,

I know you care for this guy, but if he isn't interested right now and is looking for space, you need to give it to him. As far as the drugs, if he is back on them, there really isn't much you can do but be there for him emotionally. He is an adult and is going to do what he wants to do (even though he shouldn't be doing drugs), and unfortunately he will have to realize that he has a problem on his own and then hopefully he will reach out for support. In the meantime, you need to distance yourself, give him space, go NC (no contact) and live your life for you.

I'm a religious person, but that isn't god keeping you with him. It's your heart. He's under a huge amount of stress right now, I imagine that this death got him to thinking about other negative and stressful things at the same time, it's an almost unstoppable chain reaction after a horrible event such as death. The last thing he needs right now is to worry about having to make you happy and/or not making you upset with him. His mind is also probably kind of screwy right now, he might beblaming himself for a lot of things including the that death. The only thing you can do is respect his wishes, he needs time to recover. Trying to force your way in will most likely end up just hurting your relationship with him. Patience. Good luck.

-Mouse

I totally understand where you are coming from but I've also prayed and prayed asking God to pull me away. And I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. And in the past when I know things arnt going good between me and a guy I've prayed the same thing and God has answered my prayers... and I just feel if God isn't helping me pull away then all I can think is there is a reason I'm in his life or vise-versa. Don't know why yet but. I will take your advice be patient. That's the only thing I can do.. I've been through way too much with this boy. Actually you know the thing is see I've been through so much with other guys in the past that I know what I can get and what I do and don't want in a relationship. So in my mind I should beable to just drop him... but cant.