My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. When we first started dated everything was fantastic. We would have sex everyday sometimes even twice. There was never anything wrong. It has always been Great! I never had any problems with wanting to have sex. Well now it is starting to ruin our relationship because I hardly ever want it anymore. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having sex but I just don't want it. I don't have any sexual urges or anything. Can there be something wrong with me on the inside is affecting me health wise? Please someone help I don't want anything to happen to our relationship. Thanks in advance.
Jessica :confused::confused:

You would Probably want to see a doctor... it could be hormonal...and you need to find out...

Do you do the same thing the same way everyday? You might like New York Strip steaks a lot... but eat the same thing every day and you will get tired of it. And with it your hunger.

But it can be other things as well, as was mentioned Hormonal , stress or even depression along with other medical conditions that might be undiagnosed.

When I have went to the doctor to get a PAP done. The doctor did not say anything was wrong. When I talked to him about it. He said the there was nothing wrong. No signs of anything. Should I get more test done. If so what kind of test?

Did your libido drop suddenly? Or did it dwindle over time, and you suddenly realized it?

This might sound stupid. But I really dont know. I want it maybe 3 or 4 times a month thats it. Im still kinda of young Im on 21. How would I know just the feelings or what.

You could just be going through a little dry spell. Try some new stuff in bed and also do some more couples activities. It may help you find your man attractive in a new way which should increase your sexual urges.

What has changed since your sex drive has decreased? New baby? New house? Moved in together? New job?

What has changed since your sex drive has decreased? New baby? New house? Moved in together? New job?

Um we have lived together for about a year now. Well we always have his son at the house. But he is absoluty no problem with me. Im really stressed about getting a new job. I hate the one im in now. We have been in a little finicial problem for a while, that we can't seem to get out of.

The stress alone could be the reason for the change in your sex drive. What kinds of things do you do to relax?

I really never have time to relax. I feel like im always on the go. What can I do to help with this?

Stress, hating your job, and financial problems are ALL libido killers.

You need to CREATE an atmosphere where you can relax into the moment every night--you need to create your bedroom as a room where problems aren't allowed to enter.

But--your libido is still going to be low until you figure out how to deal with the stress and negative emotions about your job.

Stress, hating your job, and financial problems are ALL libido killers.

You need to CREATE an atmosphere where you can relax into the moment every night--you need to create your bedroom as a room where problems aren't allowed to enter.

But--your libido is still going to be low until you figure out how to deal with the stress and negative emotions about your job.


Okay Great Thanks For All Your Help! :)I really need to work on that. I hate that this has happened. But I will try to relax and let things go. What are some of the things you do to help you relax?

I used to go to the gym. I know that doesn't sound like a way to relax but it definitely helped with stress.
You could try setting aside some time each week to do something you enjoy, like a hobby of some sort.
Read a book.
Take a bath instead of a shower.
Just to give you a few ideas.

I don't have kids, so it's easier for me than it will be for you.

The bedroom is for sex and sleeping ONLY. Get rid of any clutter in your bedroom that detracts from this. Make the room sensual--you can do it with second hand store items too! Get velvet/heavy curtains, place a softer lightbulb in the light/lamps. Put candles around the room. Keep the room CLEAN!

Take 15 minutes at the end of your day to be in your bathroom doing absolutely NOTHING. I take a shower, turn off the lights, and think about relaxing each part of my body as I wash it. This isn't something you rush through--this is something like meditation.

Get your husband and child to help with the housework. It's hard to switch from career woman to housewife to cook to maid to nanny to laundress to sexy goddess. It just doesn't work.

i don't have kids, so it's easier for me than it will be for you.

The bedroom is for sex and sleeping only. Get rid of any clutter in your bedroom that detracts from this. Make the room sensual--you can do it with second hand store items too! Get velvet/heavy curtains, place a softer lightbulb in the light/lamps. Put candles around the room. Keep the room clean!

Take 15 minutes at the end of your day to be in your bathroom doing absolutely nothing. I take a shower, turn off the lights, and think about relaxing each part of my body as i wash it. This isn't something you rush through--this is something like meditation.

Get your husband and child to help with the housework. It's hard to switch from career woman to housewife to cook to maid to nanny to laundress to sexy goddess. It just doesnt' work.

this is about the best advice you have given me. I really appericate all your help. I want to add you to my friends list so if i need anymore help. Thanks

Um we have lived together for about a year now. Well we always have his son at the house. But he is absoluty no problem with me. Im really stressed about getting a new job. I hate the one im in now. We have been in a little finicial problem for a while, that we can't seem to get out of.

Stress of the new job and financial worries are most definitely it. When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel financially that is one hell of a burden. Like Synnen mentioned... keeping life and its reminders out of the bedroom might make for a neutral zone which could help.