Hi I am 28 years old and my girlfriend is 22... the first 2 years we knew each other we dated off and on always with harshness and profanity.. we didn't talk for like 7 months then started seeing each other again.. after about a month I got her pregnant and her mom was furious.. it scared my girlfriend because she is young and not ready and still in college and what not.. anyways she decided on an abortion and then we lost contact and went our separate ways for a year or so.. then February of 08 we started talking and then started dating again.. we went a whole year together, seeing each other everyday,and having a decent relationship.. the other day I got mad at her and called her at WORK and we got in a fight and she said it was over and I was devastated, so I hung up... she called me when she got off and told me she was done that I have become mean and she feels she can't be herself around me and always wonders what I think about what she does.. so I told her I was sorry and she should come over
(just like every night) she said she didn't want to and that she was fine where she was.. so then we got off the phone and later that night I went by her house and she wasn't home.. the next day I called her and she said she went to talk to her friend because she didn't want to talk to her mom.. which was fine because I still went to my poker game.. the next day she didn't call and she said she would so I called her and I asked if she was coming over and she said no she was comfortable and didn't feel like going anywhere and she mentioned when I asked that she was done,and she had enough so I went over there and we both cried in my truck talking about it,me telling her I love her and we can get through it and I'll change,(not myself) just the way I treat her sometimes... then after awhile of that holding and kissing and talking and crying.. she said she didn't feel good and wanted to lay down... I begged her to come to my house and lay with me and id massage her and what not and we could just hold each other... she wasn't having it... so I went home (heartbroken) and the next day I sent her flowers to her work...

Ill sum it up this version culd take awhile...
She tells me she loves me and that I am perfect... she said yesterday she needed a break and I told her OK I said I love you with all my heart and you have my number, I hope I here from you very soon telling me were OK... then she said it boils down to sex.. we have amazing sex but after the pregnant thing awhile back she gets paranoid after we do it even with a condom.. and when she stresses she breaks out in hives and gets a very low self esteem.. well anyway she said it wuldnt be fair to me if we were together because she didn't want to have sex for awhile.. she has said she didn't want to have sex before because she was scared about getting pregnant... and I said it wasn't a problem we culd work through it,and that I didn't mind... realistically I know how she is when were together and I know we would have sex just probably not as often... anyways she had to get off the phone she is super stressed out and today I called her house once with no answer and I DID NOT leave a message... then about 2 hours later she called me and I didn't answer,so she didn't leave a message and now I'm writing this... WHAT SHOULD I DO...

So it was like 3 different reasons... and I know how she stresses a lot of stuff way to hard.. and right now she is a full time college student and works full time and just like every month she is late on her period... I think she is just freaked out or stressed...
What do you guys think

I think she has a lot going on in her life.

I think she needs to talk to a counselor about the abortion and how to have enjoyable protected sex again.

Yeah I hear you there... but its so confusing because I'm at home heart broken trying to occupy my time and not think about her or miss her and she is probably out doing whatever not thinking about or missing me... I just don't know what to do.. wait for her or just get over her... I told her how I felt so I guess I should just let her make the decision.. if she comes back, great.. if not then I'll be crushed but will survive..

If she wants space give her space.. I think that she has some issues she needs to work out. An abortion is not an easy thing to do. If she is worried about condoms maybe she could get on the pill as well?

Im trying to give her space.. I didn't talk to her yesterday at all and so far not today either.. this just really sux.. nomatter what I do I just can't put it out of my mind..

I know its hard. But you do have to face the fact that this relationship may be coming to an end.

Generally, when a woman says she needs space, or a break etc.. Eventually it ends in break up. Not always.. but usually. Take this from a girl who has said those exact words.

And she probably is truly confused about things. But you shouldn't sit by the phone and wait for her. Go out with friends, and have a good time.

I have been.. I guess I will just back off and NOT call her I will let her contact me and hopefully not too much time will pass until she does...

Last year about this same time she was late on her period just like now and we split up for a few days and then she got her period and everything went back to normal...

Well I called her at work and asked if she got her period yet and she yes she got it today and she was hella busy at work so I asked her to call me when she got home and she said OK... so if she calls I'm going to have to lay it on the line and get a direct answer for if she is done with me or if she just wants a break... since she has giving me 3 reasons for our breakup and now the stress of her late period is gone, I think I deserve a little respect and honesty... so if she is done with me then I will no longer try.. but if she insists she just wants a break then hopefully we can make it through... wish me luck... I will update after I talk to her..

I get that the situation you're in is hard... but if she still says she wants space and not a break up when she calls you, then you seriously need to find something to keep your mind busy and give her the space she has asked for. No matter how hard it is.

And like leann said; abortions can be very though on a person... and it affects people differently. Some get a reaction right away, some doesn't have a reaction until they get children later in life.

And it really does sound as if she has a lot going on in her life; school, work etc.

Good luck!

Good luck!

And keep us updated

Dude are you blind or what? Your female is deathly afraid, and traumatized by her abortion, and scared stiff of getting pregnant, and if you can't understand that, you need to give her plenty of space, and just leave her alone.

Your callous disregard for her feeling is selfish and dangerous, and you really need to empathize with her situation.

No wonder she needs a break. Give it to her.