Basically I'm just curious because there are lots of people that believes that there is a time to let go and move on with your life but is there anyone who believes that love will make them fight for the very end? And why?

For me even though I still have feelings for my ex it haven't been the same lately and I believe maybe its time to let go at first I felt like I was willing to do anything to keep her but the more time I spent away from her the more worthless I see it is... I guess love blinds you neh?

but is there anyone who believes that love will make them fight for the very end? and why?Hello none:

Yes - ME. Cause true love is worth fighting for. I never took the easy way out of anything.

excon

When the break up is fresh I think we all have that feeling that we can save this and it is worth saving. But as time goes by those feelings fade and you realize it was never worth saving.

True love is worth fighting for.

But if all it took was space and some time this is not true love.

While I do agree that the prospect of fighting for love is highly Hollywoodized, I think that it is a romantic notion in most cases. I don't think I'd be able to give a blanket statement, but would need to evaluate each situation, each relationship individually.

Sadly, most of the times that people want to fight for love is when the love is unrequited for a reason. Not just the "I fell out of love with you, make me think you love me, too" fighting for love, but the "I cheated on you for months on end, have emotionally/physically abused you, and want you to live a life of solitude for me, but I still want you to love me" kind of love.

Does that sound cynical? I hope not. Rationally, I think that each situation needs to be evaluated before you can say, "Yes, I Believe in fighting for love" and "No, that's only for the movies."

Because there are times when I sure do believe that the guy should fight for the girl (and vice versa!)

Yup- I believe in fighting for love. But as Historianchick said it is situational.

I have no tolerance for cheaters, liars, people who deceive their significant other etc. In those cases- no I don't feel there is a need to fight for it. Or in cases where one wishes to venture off to 'see what else is out there'. I don't believe in that, and wouldn't fight for someone who wants to go and do that.

I do believe in fighting for love when things are up in the air, and people are confused. Where real love has existed for some time, and neither person really wants to let go/give up. Time does heal all wounds, and people will make their own decisions - BUT I will go out with a bang and make SURE the other person knows how I feel about them, how much I care, and how I would have/will always be there for them. Once you do all that- it's time to let go and then it up to whatever you believe in to see where it leads. This does not include going psycho stalking, etc.. That is not what fighting for love is in my op.

Thump

I agree as well that its situational. But in a broad sense I'd say Fight for Love until the END... because face it, there is an END where you did all you could... THEN you LET GO

In basketball or hockey it's a 48 or 60 minute game. Obviously we don't play our hearts out right in the beginning, because we will have no more energy for the rest of the game. But sometimes... towards the middle of the game, we are losing so badly that the game appears to be out of reach.

There are two approaches... some would argue that it's not over until it's over... so you keep going. So may say that it's over and we should sit down and let the backups play the rest of the game and try harder at the next game.

The painful part is that we lost the game before even trying our best.

To put this in a greater perspective. What if you really love this girl? It's the World Cup of Soccer/Football Championship game. One game decides it all... if you lose, the pain lasts even longer cause the next chance is 4 years later.

If your partner isn't willing to fight as hard, and long as you are, what's the point?

Hi... I agree with talaniman.

I have fought so hard for my relationship with my GF for sooo long. Sure, I got her back, only for her to leave me over and over again... in the end, I am a romantic - and in that sense, when all else fails AFTER I have fought so hard for it... then I will go out with a bang and not a coward. WRite her my last email and then move on.

Haven't been able to move on quite yet though.. but every day I am getting better without her and learning that MAYBE, just maybe, its for the best.

Giving up is such a crappy feeling. We never wish it would come to that, but we have no choice. We say that we are in control of our own actions, but we are not in control of the actions and feelings of others.

Nor matter how much we like someone, they might not feel the same way and there's nothing we can do it about it. It sucks, but it's life I guess.

hi...i agree with talaniman.

i have fought so hard for my relationship with my GF for sooo long. Sure, i got her back, only for her to leave me over and over again...in the end, i am a romantic - and in that sense, when all else fails AFTER i have fought so hard for it...then i will go out with a bang and not a coward. WRite her my last email and then move on.

havent been able to move on quite yet though..but every day i am getting better without her and learning that MAYBE, just maybe, its for the best.

Same here, but even fighting for it to just end, still I learned a lot about what I truly deserve & it made me grow in some ways.

I only believe in fighting for love if the person I am with is fighting with me to make it last. Otherwise I know when to throw in the towel and admit to defeat.

True love needs no fight. True love is usually the answer to whatever issues may cause friction between partners. Whatever it is that makes people want to fight till the end is usually some other feeling, stemming from selfishness, desperation, or loneliness.

If you have to fight for love, I'd say walk away before you get hurt.

You should have to fight for love because when 2 people love each other you don't break up.

I only believe in fighting for love if the person I am with is fighting with me to make it last. Otherwise I know when to throw in the towel and admit to defeat.

Had to spread the rep liz, but I am so with you on this! Well said! And I couldn't agree more.

That's why I don't understand the no contact method.
How are you fighting for something if you aren't contacting them whatsoever?
I'm going on my 4th week of no contact (I sent flowers during the first week just respecting her decision) but depending on the girl you are with... it just doesn't make sense.

That's why I don't understand the no contact method.


After a break up, your in shock, and the only thing you care about is why she did it to you, and how to keep her in your life, in case she changes her mind, and staying close, so she won't forget you.

The last thing most of us think is accepting her feelings have changed, and heal, and get on with the business of life.

In trying to stay close as "friends" we get false hope, and a lot of misery, pain, confusion, and drama. Thats why we go NO Contact, to recover from the shock, let the emotional dust settle, so we can make better decisions for ourselves, based on facts, and not feelings. NC, is the start of the healing process.


There's also the saying: "Distance makes the heart grow fonder"

That's for people who will be together, or are very much together, not every one who breaks up. When one partner wants out, the unusually take time to get up the courage to let you know.

You'll understand better when you're the one who changes feelings for your partner, and want out of the relationship.

You won't be shocked, and confused, as the partner you dump, that's why its seems so sudden when you do get dumped, because for you, it is.

No Contact is for healing, and not a method to get an ex to come back, that's up to them.

Can you kindly inform me what your definition of 'fighting' is? Chasing after something that doesn't want to be caught?

Sometimes we fight for love because we are blinded by the fact that the relationship is not working. The reality is the relationship is not working for a reason. You shouldn't have to fight for true love.

Can you kindly inform me what your definition of 'fighting' is? Chasing after something that doesn't want to be caught?

I don't know that the author meant by "fighting". Regardless, it seems like one person in the "fight" is trying harder than the other to keep the relationship going.

I like the NO CONTACT approach. I remember one of my difficult break-ups. I had a comfortable life with a rich older boyfriend, and then it was suddenly over and I was in a panic. He was upset with me, and I was a confused crying mess, so the no-contact was easy. After I came to my senses, I realized that I was in a passion-less relationship and that money does not buy love. I'm glad I gave up on money, so that I could find true love.

If you feel like you are going to have regrets, then you should keep trying.

I believe that most of the pain comes from regrets. It's easier to get over someone when you feel like you've tried your best.

Trying your best to change someone's mind, is like running head first into a brick wall. And it does hurt!!

What do you mean by "your best"? Writing an email to them or calling them describing just how much you love them?

I can see both sides of this issue, but if the other person isn't willing to work with you... there is no point in fighting...

What do you mean by "your best"? Writing an email to them or calling them describing just how much you love them?

I can see both sides of this issue, but if the other person isn't willing to work with you... there is no point in fighting...

Here's an example.

When you are trying to win someone back, you don't dig up the past and say: "I should have done or I should have done that." = Regrets

Instead, you move forward and say: "I should try this or I should try that." When the person makes it clear that you have no chance to be with them or get back with them, then you STOP. At which point you will know that you tried your best.

But... if you don't "try" and just leave it alone. Then you will continue to wonder... "what if i did this or did that." = Regrets

It's painful to fail, but the pain is amplified if you have regrets.

Yea if the break up is fresh, there are a lot of feelings, I agree totally with that. And if it is true love, and you can actually feel it . Then yea fight for it. Love is free in terms of money, but you can always get more money. But love isn't free in time an dits hard to find love. So if you have found it, hold on to it, and never let it go. Everyone needs love. It's the human nature.. if you can find someone to put al of it into. You feel whole. You want that feeling I'm sure. Nut to have asked this question there had to been a problem or mental questioning... whats the dealio?

So it sounds like you're saying that if you guys never did anything besides watching movies and you think you guys should have gone out and done other things... then you should ask your ex to go out and do something different with you, like bumper cars or rollercoasters?

As you guys have seen with my recent question, it really depends on the situation. And as talaniman stated, if your partner isn't willing, then what's the point?

The fact is, you can't make someone love you. If there's love there, there's potential for it to happen. But even then, the conditions have to be right. Mutual love might not even be enough.

basically im just curious because there are lots of people that believes that there is a time to let go and move on with your life but is there anyone who believes that love will make them fight for the very end? and why?

For me even though i still have feelings for my ex it havent been the same lately and i believe maybe its time to let go at first i felt like i was willing to do anything to keep her but the more time i spent away from her the more worthless i see it is... I guess love blinds you neh?

It depends on the nature of thet situation you are in. Depends on the kind of love, who you are, who the other person is, so on and so on...

The vary Idea of love has changed, in many ways, and in many cultures. Who really knows what love is? And if you do know what love is then what is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE? Logically, people can not "love" one another unconditionally, because that would mean they have no reason to love the person, they simply do. As soon as a person gave any reason as to why they love some one, then they are conditionally in love. Then again, if that condition changed, and they stayed together then... Maybe... then it would be unconditional love... It seems there is always a reason though, even if it's just to honor what they once had...

I wish I could believe that love was stay till the end, and less of this whole sleeping around buissness. Don't get me worng, sex is fun and all, but it seems like people are getting a little over carried away with it. Kind of makes me wonder if "True Love" exsists. If we aren't happy, we leave and few indeed work on the relation ship. Then there are the people who stay because they love some one, but the some one cheats on them every other weekend.:rolleyes: There is so many reasons and circomstances (did I spell that right? :rolleyes:) that need to be looked at. I think people need to slow down on the whole idea of indulging, and getting what we want. Some times it's better to just wait, and live your life for you. Keeping in mind that's easier said than done, eh?

So to answer your questions, it all depends. Take it as it comes, and if it's time then take the time to reflect upon yourself, apparnetly it takes one year for your body to finnish dealing with stress, so take the year and get to know/ love/ respect/ understand yourself, as well as forgive yourself. To jump into something is just foolish, but we all do it, so yep forgive ourselves for that too is a good idea.

What I would do is take this time and reevaluate if this is true love. And make sure you understand what "true love" really is and that this person feels the same way about you. If you are not clear on this then don't do anything at all and maybe walking away from it is your best bet for yourself. Make sure that you are not in a state of desperation or think that this other person is "the one true love." You shouldn't have to fight for it.

You shouldn't have to fight for it

The word fight, I think is the wrong way to describe it. Working together, would be better. One person working is not enough.

The word fight, I think is the wrong way to describe it. Working together, would be better. One person working is nor enough.

I think fight is when we have adversity and we have to overcome it. There's no adversity here. You take action to increase your chances of getting a favorable outcome, while keeping in mind that anything you do might not change the other person's mind.

Or... you just give up without even trying.

"There are no right or wrongs, there is no good or bad, there is only possibility." - Me

It's a paradox or so I figure. The right and wrong, good and bad ideas are just that possibilities, therefor there are only possibilites. WE decide eather or not something is or is not good or bad, etc. So you have to look deep within and decide is the love you have with a person growing in a way you want, or are you in a stage of falling apart. Every one does go through the falling apart, but the ones who stay together, they know who they love and what it means, so they continuew to work with them to acive their goals...

I actually thought fighting for love was the solution. The real solution to which I was blinded by was to just let go. Because even though I loved him, the reality was it was not working.

My ex stated to me that he loved me but we should "fight against it"because we couldn't make the relationship work, he also said "sometimes when we have something good we should let it go".

Now thinking back he was right, at the time I would have done anything to make it work. I think it depends on the relationship. HOw compatible you are together, I also think if children are involved then you should try to fight to make it work.

Would you guys fight for unrequited love, a lost love? How far would you go? When is it time to let go and move on? When should you fight till the very end?

Would you guys fight for unrequited love, a lost love? How far would you go? When is it time to let go and move on? when should you fight till the very end?

I'll say, let go, if they fly back then they are your's to be with, but if not it was not meant to be. Move on and focuse on yourself, and not this idea of love. Funny thing about love is the more you look for it, the farther you get from it. Love is one of those things that happens when you are happy as you are, and then find some one who is happy to be happy with you too. It just happens, but if you don't know who you are, or love yourself, forgive yourself, then how can you know you are in love.

IF you have to fight for it, it's not love, that's lust. Or as I have learned. I fought for my first love and got my heart stomped. I've learned that I need to be kind to my needs as well as others, but if I'm not happy, how can any one be happy with me.

It is up to you to decide, but Becareful what you give up, for you may end up resenting them for it. Even though they didn't make you do it, you choose to do it. Just be mindful of your needs too, and I don't mean being with them, that's the blind part.

Also, Love is like a drug, it's bin compared to Crack.:eek: Yes, Actually. What happens is while you are with a parnter, you get a sudden rush, or feelings of euphoria (very decieving, if you don't keep your wits.) caused by the chemical responses in your brain. I think it's serotonin, or endorphines, no both. They make you feel good and happy, while you and this person are together. Now when you split, it's like taking away all those Happy feelings and repacing them with emptyness. No one likes to feel sad, or empty so that's why a lot of people keep getting together again and again. Mind you there are other reasons. Any who, the idea that Love and crack are similar is because the same chemical respons that is in love is also what we experience when we do crack. Though I'm sure crack is a lot more intense and has various other chemicals in it. But when you take some one's crack away, they become aggitated, aggressive and will do just about anything for that "high". But if you don't give them any and you keep them restrained till they get pretty clean, then they go into depression. The same is for love.

SOme times, the best way to keep the one's we love is to let them go, and rediscover who we are...

I think we should not let go, if we have a gut feeling they might come back. Sometimes people need to go see if the grass is greener, then if they realize they had something good and rare, they will come back and want it back and will do a lot of effort to win you back. If they love you and you love them, that means overcoming their ego and doing the steps to come back together.
Unfortunately we do not know how much time it takes and eventually we have to decide if we going to keep waiting or meet someone new and forget it and close the door. I know it was easier for me to wait when I was in my twenties, since I had a lot of time ahead of me, but now being in the mid thirties, time is more precious and won't wait too long.

I'll say, let go, if they fly back then they are your's to be with, but if not it was not ment to be. Move on and focuse on yourself, and not this idea of love. Funny thing about love is the more you look for it, the farther you get from it. Love is one of those things that happens when you are happy as you are, and then find some one who is happy to be happy with you too. It just happens, but if you don't know who you are, or love yourself, forgive yourself, then how can you know you are in love.

IF you have to fight for it, it's not love, thats lust. or as I have learned. I fought for my first love and got my heart stomped. I've learned that i need to be kind to my needs as well as others, but if I'm not happy, how can any one be happy with me.

It is up to you to decide, but Becareful what you give up, for you may end up resenting them for it. Even though they didn't make you do it, you choose to do it. Just be mindful of your needs too, and I don't mean being with them, thats the blind part.

Also, Love is like a drug, it's bin compared to Crack.:eek: Yes, Actually. What happens is while you are with a parnter, you get a sudden rush, or feelings of euphoria (very decieving, if you don't keep your wits.) caused by the chemical responses in your brain. I think it's serotonin, or endorphines, no both. They make you feel good and happy, while you and this person are together. Now when you split, it's like taking away all those Happy feelings and repacing them with emptyness. No one likes to feel sad, or empty so thats why a lot of people keep getting together again and agian. Mind you there are other reasons. Any who, the idea that Love and crack are similar is because the same chemical respons that is in love is also what we expierence when we do crack. Though i'm sure crack is a lot more intense and has various other chemicals in it. But when you take some one's crack away, they become aggitated, agressive adn will do just about anything for that "high". But if you dont give them any and you keep them restrained till they get pretty clean, then they go into depression. The same is for love.

SOme times, the best way to keep the one's we love is to let them go, and rediscover who we are...

For me I see it as that I want to fight for her but at some times I feel like there is no point anymore. But at some times I am going to fight for the very end for my first love. I feel like if I don't try my best I will end up regretting. Right now I am taking some time away from here to get my head on straight before I can make a deccision of fighting for her or letting her go.

YES! Def! Love is def worth fighting for!

Would you guys fight for unrequited love, a lost love?


Ain't that much love in the world worth my dignity and self respect, that I would pursue someone who has dumped me and left me empty.

The sooner you can accept they don't feel the same, and heal the hole in your soul, and get happy with who you are, the sooner you will attract some one to share that happiness with.

I can understand all the feelings that false hope brings, and know as a fact in my life, that there are many options and opportunities out there, but you have to be healthy enough to see them, and not waste time on what ifs.



If they love you and you love them, that means overcoming their ego and doing the steps to come back together.


That's all well and good, but only applies to those that are willing to work together. Being dumped by your partner, is all the proof you need that they were unwilling, or unable to work with you to solve your problems to the benefit of you both. No biggie, because you will understand why they have a change of heart when you experience it yourself.

Its also been my experience through No Contact and healing, most people have moved on and found a better love than they had, and see no reason to go back. Strange but true.

That's why I thank all the females who dumped me, for whatever reason, because I eventually found the one who was willing to work through all the tribulations life throws at us.

Unfortunately, you can't see that far ahead, nor can you see clearly, because your emotions are blinded by a lot of shock, fear, and sense of loss, which is normal, but miserable. Don't worry, it gets better.

The moral of this long rant is, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find one who turns into your dream come true. So pucker up, and don't worry about what ifs, and maybes, reality and good health is all you need. (and a strong set of lips).

none12345;1633451, Would you guys fight for unrequited love, a lost love?
NO, , no way do you put that much time and energy into someone who can't give you as much at least as you give them, or who just leaves to do their own thing, for whatever reason. A waste of time.

How far would you go?
Only as far as they are willing to go.

When is it time to let go and move on?
When they quite trying, so should you!


When should you fight till the very end?

When they are fighting as hard as you are, by your side. Its just that simple. The main thing is being able to cope with your own feelings, in a positive way, and keep it real, for yourself. If you don't love yourself, and know how to be good to yourself, you fall for a lot of BS, and nobody else will care how you feel.

In my case I think she had a change of heart 6 months ago when she said '' My feelings have changed for you'' you think I should have ended it then ? Can they lose their feelings and later find them back? Or once they are gone they are gone for good?

Doesn't matter what they do. You have to look out for yourself. No one knows what another human will do, or motives for doing what they do.

That's not important any more, as what you do about it, is what really matters, so be about you, and not them.

Sounds simple, and is, but its one of the hardest things you will ever do, cope with your losses, and heal.

NO, , no way do you put that much time and energy into someone who can't give you as much at least as you give them, or who just leaves to do their own thing, for whatever reason. A waste of time.

Only as far as they are willing to go.

When they quite trying, so should you!

When they are fighting as hard as you are, by your side. Its just that simple. The main thing is being able to cope with your own feelings, in a positive way, and keep it real, for yourself. If you don't love yourself, and know how to be good to yourself, you fall for a lot of BS, and nobody else will care how you feel.

How can any one behonest with you if you are not willing to be honest with your self/ willing to look at the truth?

"Believe nothing no matter where you read it, no matter who said it, no matter if I said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.
You yourself, as much as any one in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
There is no fire like greed, no crime like hatred, no sorrow like separation, no sickness like hunger of heart, and no joy like the joy of freedom.
Health and contentment are your greatest possessions, And freedom your greatest joy.
Look with in, be still, free from fear and attachment. Know the sweet joy of living in the way.
The thought manifest as the word, the word manifest as the deed, the deed develops into habit, and habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and it’s ways with care, and let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings.
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt, doubt separates people, it is a poison that disintegrates friendships, and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts, it is a sword that kills.
All conditioned things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Try to accomplish your own salvation with diligence.
Do not believe in anything simply because you heard it, do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many, do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books, do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders, do not believe in traditions because they have bin handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." - Buddha

Take it as you will, these words are wiser than many will ever understand. Take the time to understand them, and you'll find their meaning...

I agree, that is an excellent idea. Take the time you need. Just a little bit of human nature knowledge that may help you. Just remember that each person, each individual upon this earth has thier own "free will" and has the ability, just as you. to choose what they feel is right for themselves. You may be telling yourself that this person is your true love and you will move heaven and earth to be with them, but they may have a completely different idea, or direction that they want for themselves.

If they choose a different direction then it's time to let go. If their priority is not to be with you then there is nothing you can do. Let them go and if destiny decides that you will cross roads again in the future then accept the situation you are in right now.

How about trying to win someone's love? Or a lost love back? What do you guys think in that?

How about trying to win someone's love? or a lost love back? What do you guys think in that?

Then that is not love. That is lust. Love is a combing together of two who GROW together.

It's not about one compeating for another's attention. Other wise, you'll be doing so for the rest of your life. DO you really want to compeate for your "loved one's" Attention/ Affection/ Love? Also that sounds kind of shallow, like you see the person as only valuing sertain aspects of an individual, and not the entire individual. You can't hide yourself for ever, to do so would be like a great painter not painting, but learing to play guitar for his girl. They get together, then a few years later she starts to like guitar music. Later he picks it back up but another guy who kept practicing, is way better and she decides he is the one she wants. See what I mean?

It is your choice as you know, but why try to impress some one, when they either love "you", or they don't. If they are not willing to love me because of who I am, then its not a relation ship I want. I will never change for some one again, I am my own person and can make choices for myself, but I will compramise for a women, I love. Provided she and I are together. Show yourself some self respect by accepting you don't belong with a person who doesn't love you as you are.

That's what I say.

Then that is not love. That is lust. Love is a combing together of two who GROW together.

It's not about one compeating for another's attention. Other wise, you'll be doing so for the rest of your life. DO you really want to compeate for your "loved one's" Attention/ Affection/ Love?? Also that sounds kinda shallow, like you see the person as only valuing sertain aspects of an individual, and not the entire individual. You can't hide your self for ever, to do so would be like a great painter not painting, but learing to play guitar for his girl. They get together, then a few years later she starts to like guitar music. Later he picks it back up but anotehr guy who kept practicing, is way better and she decides he is the one she wants. See what i mean??

It is your choice as you know, but why try to impress some one, when they either love "you", or they don't. If they are not willing to love me because of who I am, then its not a relation ship I want. I will never change for some one agian, I am my own person and can make choices for myself, but I will compramise for a women, I love. Provided she and I are together. Show yourself some self respect by accepting you dont belong with a person who doesn't love you as you are.

Thats what I say.

Oh you said you won't ever change for someone again? Does that mean you did before? I know I deserve better, someone who loves me for who I am, someone who would appreciate me and never take me for granted. But that person isn't her. I would want someone who would fight for me to show me how much they care. Wouldn't she want the same?

The thing is I would want things to work out with her if it can. And lots of people tell me to move on but I don't know if I would ever find someone that I would love again or want to be with. I also don't want to live in regret not knowing I didn't fight for her or tried my best for her afterwards when I think about it.

Also, I'm willing to bet it would end in pain for the one trying to "impress" the girl.

YouTube - Sara Bareilles - Love Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR5xv3pt7KI&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=20)
Like she says, "I'm not going to write you alove song, cause you ask for it, cause you need one. I'm not going to write you a love song, cause you tell me it's make or break in this, if you're on your way, i"m not going to write you to stay... " - Sara Bareilles Love song.

Yes I'm a guy, and yes I like this song. I also like pantera. Walk. YouTube - pantera: walk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq1EKlTzEP4)

Can't you see I'm easily bothered by persistence
One step from lashing out at you...
You want in to get under my skin
And call yourself a friend
I've got more friends like you
What do I do?

Is there no standard anymore?
What it takes, who I am, where I've been
Belong
You can't be something you're not
Be yourself, by yourself
Stay away from me
A lesson learned in life
Known from the dawn of time

Respect, walk

Run your mouth when I'm not around
It's easy to achieve
You cry to weak friends that sympathize
Can you hear the violins playing you song?
Those same friends tell me your every word

Are you talking to me?
No way punk

Its' about people being something they are not. It's not wise to try and impress some one to try and "win" their heart, because you are who you are, and you can only change for yourself, and that's true. It's also to do with how people talk about others behind their back and well their true intentions, or selves come out. Very uncool.

Yah well me and her was once together but we broke up. There is the "other guy". She wants to be with him right now and it hurts me every time I see them together. She was my first love and first everything and so was I. how can she move on so fast after we broke up >_<

Oh you said you wont ever change for someone again? does that mean you did before? I know i deserve better, someone who loves me for who i am, someone who would appreciate me and never take me for granted. But that person isnt her. i would want someone who would fight for me to show me how much they care. Wouldnt she want the same?

The thing is i would want things to work out with her if it can. And lots of people tell me to move on but i dont know if i would ever find someone that i would love again or want to be with. I also dont want to live in regret not knowing i didnt fight for her or tried my best for her afterwards when i think about it.

MAybe pantera's this love suits you more. Where the guy thinks love is owning some one, Kind of like wanting them to do everything they can to be with you not entirely but very similar, and later he realises he doesn't think he can live with out her. The last line of the last verse says this: "I'd kill myself for you, I'd kill you for myself."

I did, I tried as hard as I could. But she left me any way. I know now that you can not try to change for some one, because if you do, you will not be happy. That is the sad part. What about all those women who think their men will change? Sure the man could, but they have to do it for themselves or else they'll resent the perosn they so called Changed for. Or it could be the other way around.
The cold hard truth is yes I wished she'd have tried harder for me, as I gave everything for her. I left my family, frinds, schooling, and any hope of being near them unless she left me. So whe she did leave me, I hated myself, her and I coldn't stand that I stayed with her while she dated some other guy for three weeks and I kknew! I still haven't forgiven myself. No I deserved and deserve more respect then that, and if I don't repscet myself then why should any one else. Dude, don't go down that road, I mean if you really want to, do it but just know... No matter how much you change, if you don't respect yourself, and have your own standards, and respect that. She will not care for you like you want. You can not make some one love you, they simply do or do not. Yes they can grow to love you, but remember, if you are not yourself, then you are not in love...

Now that I think about it, I'd not want a girl who does a lot for me just to make me happy, I'd want a girl who respectes her self, and is happy with out me, so I can be happy with her, and respect her as she would respect me. Mutaul realtionships are the strongest. The balance in even and give take, take give, etc.

IF there is no chance, then let it go brother. None of us know if we'll ever find some one, or we'll ever fall in love again. That's the risk we take. We have to take it one step at a time, day by day.
YouTube - everybody's free to wear sunscreen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L44WMesvTUU&feature=channel_page)

There are millions of people on earth, so how do you know you won't meet some one again. You can niether deny, nor confirme that you will or will not meet a women you love. But the probability that you will is pretty high, due to the number of people out there. Love Is something that comes to those who wait, and learn to be themselves and comfortable with themselves. Give it time. You never know though so choose what you will, but know it's your life, so live it for you!!

I still hurt after 3-4 years of not being with her, and I can hardly stand to think of her with out feeling the tears in my eyes. My first and last girl friend.

It hurts, but you'd be wiser to move on. If you really want to try and get her back by all means, go a head, but I fear few would feel bad for you if it blew up in your face. I advice against it, but it's your choice.

Oh if you don't mind to share your story? But yah I'm really confused right now a part of me tell me to fight for her but the other part is too tired and think I deserve way more than this. Its so hard to see her with another guy >__<. Everyone is telling me to move on. Im not sure if that's what I want to do but I know that is what I should do.

I have a lot more to say, if you want, just ask your questions and I'll answer, but I have to go now so just ry to take care dude.

There are other things to love, like playing a guitar, or talking to friends, learning about space, meeting new girls, and listening to music
YouTube - Ana Free sings Nickelback (Savin Me) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syh3KTBaMCY&feature=PlayList&p=463A63390D2BA56B&index=1)
YouTube - Three days grace - Pain (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otZdiO0q6pU&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=3)
YouTube - Crossfade-Cold (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n61Du5lhWio&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=8)
YouTube - Duality by Bayside with lyrics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdFxdsY7vQk&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=9)
YouTube - Everybody By Stabilo Boss the new version! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvH2KqU4HUs&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=17)
YouTube - Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Official music video) HQ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuQ0AJawzT4&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=31)
(embrace your dreams ZACK/ Cloud. Protect your Honor.)
YouTube - Linkin Park - Numb (Official Video & w/ Lyrics) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxlriLkiP2E&feature=PlayList&p=1251277C979C9E81&index=39)
YouTube - why should i worry - oliver and company (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3xafme2PWA&feature=PlayList&p=466B0A633BE2358C&index=10)
YouTube - Colbie Caillat | Battle (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNKI9ZCbbJw&feature=PlayList&p=F45336FF64ACC04F&index=1)
Try that on.

YEah, I know where is all the heavy stuff. Haha. Sorry dude, its what I got for now...

Peace and kindness be with you.

all right dewd thanks for talking to me yah I don't listen to very heavy stuff either if it sounds good, its all good =P your last girlfriend? T_T I might just end up like that too lol but yah at least I'm know I'm not alone. Laterz

Yah post what you got to say when you have time okies? Thanks =P

Oh if you dont mind to share your story? But yah im really confused right now a part of me tell me to fight for her but the other part is too tired and think i deserve way more than this. Its so hard to see her with another guy >__<. Everyone is telling me to move on. Im not sure if thats what i want to do but i know that is what i should do.

Yes divided between our heart and our head, or our wisedom and love.

You have to choose what do you want? Where do you see yourself in five ten years? What is her life's plans?

Do you want a great job, will you be going to school far away or in town, what are her plans? Does she love you, or is she just playing the field? She may decide latter on that you are the guy, but if you push hard now while she "needs" her space then she gets annoyed and then her view of you changes.

It is all up in the air, you would be wise to figure yourself out, and as hard as it is, if she chose some one else, you don't get to choose what to do, because she is no longer yours to love. You can love her, but her attention is taken. Hard hurt full, as it is you have to accept that, or you will run the risk of inapropriate behaviour and she will not like you after that. Jelousy is a very danersous thing.
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” _yoda

Your fear of losing her will turn out to taint any of your attempts to impress or win her back. Do you understand that, I know mine did.

"Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed, that is.” - Yoda
Rather then her dying, she is simply leaving you, but they say it's still comparably the same in feelings.
“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.” -Yoda
What are you afraid of? Really why fear losing a chance here and now when she is already with some one. If you take her form him, whos' to say that she won't leave you for some one..?
“The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.”- Yoda
No one knows what will happen, so we try not to dwell on it, or it will make us insane with fear, or anger, frustration.

Well, my story is long and painful, but I suppose no more so than any one else's. I'll tell it to you tomorrow, if that is what you would like... I'll explain in deeper detail what ever you ask about. So ask what you can.

I have only had on GF, and she left me, for another guy. I gave my life to be with her, forsaking everything I loved, except her. Ver unwise on my part, and now I must learn a few very valuable lessons, hard, ones at that.

Take cake brother.

alright dewd thx for talking to me yah i dont listen to very heavy stuff either if it sounds good, its all good =P your last girlfriend? T_T i might just end up like that too lol but yah at least im know im not alone. laterz

YouTube - Metallica - Wherever I May Roam (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5TnPjOd_To)
As metallica says,

"By myself, but not alone... Any where I roam." Peace out little dude.

Okies explain it to me in detail tomm =P its like 5am now I got to crash lol >_< but yah ill check here when I wake up. Peace out little dude?? >_< I'm not little LOL but I do feel like its almost time to settle down. I'm almost 20 now >_< But yah talk to you laterz.

Update~
Hey thanks for posting. Today when I woke up out of no where I decided how stupid I have been. Everyone on here was completely right. They were always here giving me the same advice over and over again even after how stubborn I have been. I would just like to thank you all for being here for me.

Today out of no where I decided that its time for me to move on no matter how hard it is and even if she wants me back right now, I won't her back anymore. I learned a valuable lesson in this experience, never give everything you have to someone because you never know if they ll have a change of heart and take everything away from you. I gave her valuable time with my family, my best friends, spent so much money on her, dreamed my future with her and have everything planned out and now its all gone. My family and friends are still here for me, they have always been no matter how bad I've treated them. I feel so stupid for not seeing that and I'm so sorry of how I treated them.

She is a b1tch. I gave her everything and she took it from me leaving me with nothing. After everything I have done for her, she left me for some other guy. I felt all used up and stupid for all the things I have said on here. To think just yesterday I would go to the end of the world for her. Why would I do such a thing for someone who replaced me just like that, all the things she said was a lie. She was not the person I fell in love with, I thought she was loyal, I meant more to her than that and she just threw me out of the window without any hesistation. She told me she was better than me the other day... That was so cruel. She is definitely not the person I want to be with anymore and I've made up my mind for sure and I'm not going back on it anymore.

As for her, I am cutting her off my life for good. Even if she wants to rekindle things later on, ill be long gone. I deserve so much better than that. I deserve someone who is loyal to me to the end, appreciate me and love me for who I am. Well, this is how I feel today, if it ll change tomorrow? I don't really know. It still hurts me when I think of her with the other guy. I still love her but that was because she was once the person she was and now she's changed unless she was always this way and I never saw this side of her. It still hurts every now and then that things had to end up this way but now I actually think of the possibility that this might be the best for me.

Anyway, what's the problem now? Well, the thing is I'm ready to move on. But like I said now I'm left with nothing, I'm kind of scared of the future. I know what I have to do is spend more time with my family and friends and I'm so grateful for them. Im glad I haven't lose them yet. They mean so much to me now. I also have to study hard in school build a future for myself and find a good job to support myself. The thing is, about my love life? I don't know if I will ever find anyone to love anymore. I would like to have someone to love me back and spend the rest of my life with but I don't know if I would ever find that person. I don't want a rebound, just anyone to be with. I want to find my one true love and I don't know if I ever will and I'm scared I won't and just end up all by myself with no one loving me... Im scared of the future and I feel kind of lost right now.

Here is my opinion. Maybe right now it seems hard and difficult for us because they abandoned us, it's hard to believe but one day they will look back and start regretting, trust me.

They will always wonder, what if I stayed and made some effort to stay. The reason they leave is because they want to see if they can find better. You got to give them this time and space to go see what's out there. If they find better good for them. If they don't too bad for them. If they want a second chance you got to be careful and make sure they won't do it again. Are you willing to take a chance by giving them a second chance?

It's a hard decision. I would give a second chance but they would have to convince me and I am not easily convinced. Like someone said earlier. You gave away your self-respect for this woman and she just left you with nothing and empty.

She has to win you back, no way your going to win her back if she left. In time if she realizes you were the one, she will try to get back. In the meantime you got to show confidence, strength, independence, show you can live happy without her. No contact.

One day she will want to know what happened to you, maybe one day she will get fed up of this other guy she is seeing and dump him or he might dump her. When this happens, some women look back at their ex. They will try to see if they can come back with him before trying to find someone new.

You will have the ball back in your court, since you probably will have a girl already or 2 or 3 possible girlfriends and she will be another competitor to get you back. If you remain alone, with little friends, she will sense you are lonely and that will not attract her. She wants to see you as a popular guy with a good network of friends. (Especially if she is very social with lots of friends).

Her new guy was probably a rebound, she will be thinking of you when she is with him and is just not going to last. So don't worry if they move on quickly and see someone else, doesn't mean anything bad. It just says one thing, you are stronger cause you were able to be alone while she wasn't capable and needed a new guy right away. She is the weak one. She is just going to jump from one guy to another and soon realize that with you at least she had something special.

Be strong, block all good memories, think of the bad times, and the draining arguments you had. Do you really want to be with a woman who plays with your feelings? Who broke your heart and might do it again. I know it's hard, hell man, mine wanted to marry me and have kids. Hard to believe eh?

Oh what happened in your situation? If you don't mind sharing =P just wondering

She is a b1tch. I gave her everything and she took it from me leaving me with nothing. After everything i have done for her, she left me for some other guy.

The way I see it, it's better she goes and see if the grass is greener now then later. Imagine you were married and did this behind your back while you are at work. Let her go and experience whatever. This is a test. She wants to test her feelings for you. And your test is to let her go and be strong. By doing this and ignoring her, she will realize what she had.

If you are always available for her, she will see this as easy, she wants challenge. They always want what's hard to get. Bro I loved my girlfriend a lot, but when she left me, I refused friendship that she offered, I said do not contact me ever again unless you want to work things out. You know how hard it was for me to say that? I know friendship is tempting because she will be still around, but that gives her control over you and your screwed.

It's freaking hard to let go someone you love, the month after the breakup was like grief that she passed away, gone from my life. Look at the bright side, like yoda says, follow the light, the force is with you. You are doing the good thing to let her go. Yes she was selfish, she was thinking of herself, Her happiness before the happiness of the couple. She wants the perfect male to be the father of her kids. How does she know she is with the good one? She must go see what's out there. That's why you can never say that it is over 100%. She might be back if she did not find that ''Perfect male'' for her babies.

And when she comes back if she does, isn't better that she sees the new you? The new strong, confident, in demand sexy male that every woman wants. You will have control, and you will be the leader, not the follower. The man is the provider and leader, might sound macho, but that's how humans are programmed since beginning of time.

Final words: don't fight for love if they left you. Let them go, make them fight to get you back if they regret what they did.

Oh what happened in your situation? if you dont mind sharing =P just wondering

My situation was pretty bad. She hurt my feelings a few times. 10 months after we were dating, she said she did not have the same feeling for me anymore. (on my birthday). We had just gotten back from a trip to mexico. (Trips make it or break it) very true!

I lost my job 2 months ago, she started to change at that moment, she said I was different and that I lost self confidence and was negative. She started to flake one me, not respecting plans we had, breaking plans often to go with friends. The tellingme she felt suffocated. How could that be? We were seeing each other 2 or 3 times a week.

So when she flaked on me for the last time, on Friday 13th of feb 2009, The next day she was a B***H on the phone. It was valentines, so said to her, I am not coming over to see you, I don't feel like arguing. She called me at midnight to say it was over because she was tired of arguments and I told her I was tired of being a puppet that followed her around everywhere she goes and that I wanted an intimate relationship not a social group thing. Hell I felt like I was dating her friends and family not her.

I was also tired of her controlling attitude and her high maintenance ways. Superficial and materialist. When things didn't go her way she would pout like a 10 year old. I was tired of her bad attitude. In the end I just think she had very low interest level and did not care much about us anymore. It was easy for her to end it, if she really cared I think she would have made the effort to save it. Instead she gave up.

That's my story. Any questions?

Not really. But awww that was pretty bad. So was mine... She told me she wanted to be my friend because her expectations for friends aren't as high... that's what she told me. I didn't say anything at that time but I changed the subject. But I'm in NC and I think I so deserve so much better than her. I don't know what do you think I should do?

Not really. But awww that was pretty bad. So was mine... She told me she wanted to be my friend because her expectations for friends arent as high... thats what she told me. i didnt say anything at that time but i changed the subject. But im in NC and i think i so deserve so much better than her. I dont know what do you think i should do?


If she had higher expectations, it seems to me that she is not sure if you meet her expectations as a boyfriend and she thinks being friends is better cause there is less expectations. This means she is confused and not sure. Give her space, let her go see what's out there and while she does this, you got to work on yourself and improve yourself.

I am in the exact situation as you and this is what I recommend we should do. We should improve our self-esteem and self confidence. Be Leaders that know what we want and always take the first steps to go places, show her the world. Don't be afraid to say no once in a while, have a backbone, defend your opinions even if she doesn't agree. Practice this with next girl you meet. I recommend you read a few books on relationships, what turns women on, how to keep being a challenge. It's nice to have a new relationship, but you also got to want to keep it always alive.

Learn what kills relationships and work on those. Work on your posture, your voice, become an alpha male. Avoid being a wussy. Don't be a jealous posessive guy, needy or clingy, never smother her. I know this sounds like mind games, but like it or not it's not called the love game for nothing. You got to play the game until she decided to throw the white towel and gives up and wants to be in your arms forever.

Until she does that you got to keep being in control, a challenge, and confident. The minute you show weakness you are screwed. The woman wants a strong man, it's wired in her brain, she does not understand it herself why it is like this. She wants a leader, to protect her from evil and another male that comes lurking to steal her from you.

So if you hear the words ''your a nice guy'' or ''let's be friends'' you are in trouble and it maybe too late. It means she thinks your not tough enough to be her man and prefers you as a friend. Don't fall into the friend zone, be tough and say no. By saying no you are taking your power back. Make her realize she is making a big mistake. Just be doing this you are showing her you are not that weak after all. You do have a backbone.

No contact, distance, avoidance, disappear from her. It will drive her insane. I told mine to forget I ever existed. Hard to do but you have to. Bro if you put all your trust in her and she abandoned you, you have no choice to do this man. For me, either she is with someone else or not, to me it was still a betrayal. She betrayed my trust.
She did not respect me. No respect= No love.

Will you marry someone who did this to you? Will you be able to trust them again after you buy them a diamond ring and giveaway your freedom to them?
Will she stay next to you when life gets hard and you have obstacles or will she expect you to fix everything and if you don't she will dump you again and bail out.

These are things to think about, if my woman bailed out on me when times got rough, to me I think it's time to let go. I am a fighter and I don't give up, and I want a female who is a fighter too and is supportive and will stick by my side for better or for worse.
I won't settle for less.

to answer your question, what you should do?
Keep doing NC, work on yourself, don't wait for her. Move on, date other women.
Who knows maybe by dating others you will find better than your ex.
I know it seems impossible right now, but it is possible. I did it before, so can you.
The more you date, the more you know what you want and don't want.
Like Tal said in an earlier thread, you got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your princess. Don't stay stuck on her, because you are only delaying your success. I was depressed for 5 weeks, I lost 25 pounds, lost my apetite, lost motivation to do anything.
But one day I woke and said, OK enough is enough. Time to move on with life, accept what happened, work on myself, go to ASKME HELP DESK and other ways to distract myself every time I start regretting what happened. Time heals. Go out with female friends, go to gym, get some new video games, practice your interactions, go to parties, meet new people. Forget her! Put a Big X on the past. Repeat a 100 times a day she will regret it that B***H! It helps! Lol.

If you got any tips, don't hesitate to tell us.
Now I will go have a beer and chips and think about the future(tomorrow).
Remember You are not alone! Think of all the brothers who got their heart crushed. Let's help each other in one of the worse times in history man has to deal with the new modern woman and her crazy ways.

Hey guys I'm scared of the future. Im not sure what it will bring. I don't know if I could stand my own ground without anythere to help me find my happiness. I guess I just got to take one step at a time. I think I finally accepted to move on now and I think its for the best. Im still sad that I lost this though but I think it might be for the best.

Hey guys im scared of the future. Im not sure what it will bring. I dont know if i could stand my own ground without anythere to help me find my happiness. I guess i just gotta take one step at a time. I think i finally accepted to move on now and i think its for the best. Im still sad that i lost this though but i think it might be for the best.

Hmmm.

You are scared of the future, so am I. You don't want to end up alone, niether do I. But for me, finding my happyness is about being happy with myself, bymyself.

I'll tell you my story now, though it's not that imporant now.

I was just graduated, but had to finnish afew more courses, met this amasing girl, first girl I ever dated. I still remember our first kiss, and how cute she was. We were together for about 5 months and her parents moved. So I went to work in a mill, to pay for schooling, but the mill laid me off so I had to quit school and find another job, but the jobs were few and far between then, more so now though.
Any who, I moved about 12 hours to where she lived because of the oil industry had jobs in her town. But we did the long distance thing for 5 months first. Any who, we lived with her parents, in their basment, as she was doing her last year of high school. I went to school, became a welder. Made great money, but I hated it, very unhealthy. She wanted to move out, I agreed, so we did. I was thinking of going back to school for upgrading, but she didn't like the idea of less money, so I didn't.
We moved around a bit for a about a year, so we are at 2 years. I was still a welder, but things got bad where we finnally ended up, so I found a new job up north. She didn't want to move again, but there was more money where we moved, and I was making tons of money. For a year at this job I loathed, and just hated with every ounce of my being. THe heath factor, plus the people I worked with all thought they were better then the other guy, lots of politics, fights, arguments, and getting sh!t on verbally.
Any who, she decided she wanted to travel. I wanted to settle, but I made her a deal, we travel on this trip, I figured a couple weeks, but she wanted a few months. I managed to talk her down to 6 weeks. Then we'd come back and get a new car, save up for a home etc. I still wanted to go to school but she didn't like the idea of less money. Well, we went to Australia, and New Zealand. Very awsome by the way.
We come back home, I loose my job because I suffered from "depression", I didn't know it at the time but it was bipolar. I figured OK, I'll take some time off and deal with this once and for all. Get to the bottom my depression. She didn't like that either, once again money, which drove me nuts, we always had tons of money coming in and no money. We both worked full time, though I worked 12-18 hour shifts days/ nights switched up every 2 weeks, and 6-7 days a week. So again I found a nother welding job, even though I just hated it, I did it for her. Her dad comes to help us find a newer vehicle, but they don't tell me... :confused: Ok what ever he and I never were close, so I ignored it, and her parents put down money for her new mazda tribute, and I get no say. Ok what ever it's a nice vehicle.
Then the day she comes and says, "Im moving out, to live with my sister." She needed her space. She moves out and starts to hang out with a "friend". She still comes to our apartment where I live and gets ready for dates with this "friend", and he shows up and picks her up at my door. But I figure they are just chilling no big deal.
This goes for two weeks, every day, then I say OK are we or are we not together? Can I split up our sh!t or not? I told her my feelings everything about how it made me feel like a pathetic piece of crap and so on. She says no we are still BF/GF. And cries. So I stay. But she still is doing the same thing she did before. I fell apart, and became a mess. Then she comes to me at the end of the third week of this and says, "I don't love you any more. I stopped loving you after you finnished paying the $15,000 for our trip. My love for you is more like that which i feel for a dog." To make things worse, I left moved out, but not everything, I still had a key, and stuff to get and walked in to get the last of it in the morning and there were his shoes, and he was in my freeking bed, or the one I'd slept in the night before.
She cheeted on me, left me the moment I paid for a super expencive trip and didn't tell me how she felt about me/ Lying to my face, then brings this guy into the place I still called my home and rubs it in my face. Then has him drop my personal mail off at my place of employment, and to make it all the better he was a customer so I had to take my mail with a smile, and serve him as he was a paying customer. That tore me apart, and I still after 2 years feel all those things just the same as I did the day I became aware of them...

So now that I've complained, here is the important part. She didn't rip my heart out, she didn't hurt me, I did. I made the choice to stay. I could have left but didn't. I accept that now. I still have not forgiven myself for it, and in fact I hate myself for it. I know she was just trying to do what was best for her, I can't imagine it was easy being with some one who was/is mentaly ill. Even though I was constantly going to counselers, doctors, psychologists, and psychiatrists... I some times think I should have left for her benafit, but I couldn't see how she waws feeling on account that she never really told me anything, and kept her secrets between her and her mum. I told her everything, and I guess she felt she had to be the bigger person, but in the end she was the weakest link... In that she kept information that may have helped me to get out of my "depression" had she confided in me. It may sound odd, but I can't express how disapointed in her I am for that, but again to protect her self (respect I'm guessing.). I still love her, I miss her every day and it's still all the same as it was when she first left me. The difference is now I have other things I think about.
I've begun to focus on me, my needs, and loving myself, respecting myself, understaning myself, and above all knowing myself. Once I know who I am, I can see what I really want. A secure future, in some kind of social suport work with kids I hope (they are always fun, and hilarious.), I'd like to have a nice place with a couple kids of my own, but also adopting well as many as my partner is willing to take on. I've had this idea of a school to help teach kids how the world works, and how to make it better. I'm not sure if that's me though.
I have something I like to call, the Be perfect complex. I don't think people will like me, let alone love me, if I'm not perfect. This I developed at an age as early as 5 is when I can recall this kind of thinking. Since then my life has bin sheltered, in that I won't do anything if I think I can't. I won't try and if I do, I only put minimal effort in. SO, I never felt really loved, and I never really felt good enough for anything, one, or in anyway.

So yes, what happened was lame, it hurts, and I'm lost so much so that I don't know who I am, and can't decide if anything is really important. At least I know now, I can discover it, and be open to any ideas, and try things, even if I"m scared. My ex, was just doing what she felt was right for her, and I wouldnt' expect any more from any one else. Though i may like more, it is not very probable that i'd find it. Some of what she did was pretty harsh, but it opened my eyes. She warned me one night just before she moved with her parents, she said, "I'm going to break your heart you know." I didn't believe her, but I understand now. Now I'm working on myself, because if I can't, know, love, understand, respect, and care about myself then nither can any one else.

I've bin with 4 girls after my ex, friends with benafits. Yeah, we shall slip and fall along the path we walk, but we don't have to stay on that path. Remember that. Any who, I didn't just sleep with them, I fell in love with each of them, and I still love them very much. There will always be another girl to love, but if you don't love yourself, then how can they?

FInd out who you are, try new things, like swimming, or exercising, or biking, running, join a club, do Teakowndo or judo, M.M.A. or learn guitar (I love to play my guitfidle!), read books in public places like starbucks and such, you'd be surprised how many people (attractive women) walk up and say how do you like the book, etc. Redicover yourself, and the girl will just come out of no where, but you need to try and have faith in yourself.

K that is super long, I hope I didn't sound too pathetic, as I did cry a lot when she left me, but I mean I loved her will every ounce of me that was. So, yeah, I also hope that's not too long, I like to ramble.

I'd just like to say, its good that you are deciding to move on, it opens up options for you.

Dewd don't even worry about typing that long thing. I love to read the experience of people. But awww you gave everything you had for her as well and so did and all they did was left us with nothing in the end for some other guy. Its one thing I learned is never to give them everything because if things don't work out we ll just end up with nothing.

But wow you spent so much on the trip. Yet she doesn't even care how much work you spent just for that trip just for her. I hate girls who do that. Who aren't loyal, who don't try to work things out when things get bad... But as for that girl it seems like money is really important in her life. I just think there is more to life than money. But yah I spent tons of money on my ex too she was my first girlfriend and I don't have second one yet. Of course I didn't spend nearly as much as you did on her but I think I spent like 1000$ on this girl and I'm still a student. That was like most of the money I got working for the whole summer...

And by the way dude. Lol I know how to play guitar, been playing for 8 years now and started when I was 10. Been a few bands but it was just for fun nothing serious. But yah I would love to hear more about your story. How are things going for your right now? Are you with someone? How'd things end with your other girls? Who does your heart belong to right now? etc. Hope to hear from yah soon.

Dewd dont even worry about typing that long thing. I love to read the experience of people. But awww you gave everything you had for her as well and so did and all they did was left us with nothing in the end for some other guy. Its one thing i learned is never to give them everything because if things dont work out we ll just end up with nothing.

But wow you spent so much on the trip. Yet she doesnt even care how much work you spent just for that trip just for her. I hate girls who do that. Who arent loyal, who dont try to work things out when things get bad... But as for that girl it seems like money is really important in her life. I just think there is more to life than money. But yah i spent tons of money on my ex too she was my first girlfriend and i dont have second one yet. Of course i didnt spend nearly as much as you did on her but i think i spent like 1000$ on this girl and im still a student. That was like most of the money i got working for the whole summer....

and by the way dude. lol i know how to play guitar, been playing for 8 years now and started when i was 10. Been a few bands but it was just for fun nothing serious. But yah i would love to hear more about your story. How are things going for your right now? Are you with someone? How'd things end with your other girls? Who does your heart belong to right now? etc. Hope to hear from yah soon.

Curious guy aren't you? :p That's OK, me too.

Yes we have to be a little "selfish" is guess the word would be, so we don't loose ourselves.

Well, it was really a mixture of her money and mine for the $15,000 but I made 4000 a month, she made 1600. Most of that all went to bills, but what ever we had we saved for the trip. She kept buying cloths and stuff for the trip, and spending money saying it was her's to spend, so I do feel kind of bitter about it. I probably put 9-10 grand in and she the rest. But I'm trying to let that go, as I did make that choice on my own.

Yeah, I just started playing guitar, I love it. At the moment, my heart belongs to me. Or at least that's what I'm trying to do.

Right now, I"m unemployed, on disability for a mental illness, bipolar. So i'm kinda messed up, or was. Hard to explain. When i was younger, since i was born, my family was unstable and every one was always fighting. Really messed me up. Any who, as i grew I developed a fear of failure. Like no one else has that eh? well my fear maybe differnt for the reasoning behind it. I feared not being perfect, because if i was not perfect i was not Lovable, so unless i could do it right the first time, i'd quit out of fear. So as I grew i was always judging my self very harshly, and pretty much i stopped living life, except the most necissarry. Like school, or getting things for people, being out of sight, quiet, and on my own a lot.
Enter my teen years, I was a very shy timid guy, quiet for the most part, and helped people any way i could. I figured if i pleased others, i was perfect, and was told i was many times, but that is not the truth. Any way, I started getting odd feelings. Sad, depressed, empty feelings, with agressive, angery/ happy, anxiative, excited feelings. This was my bipolar, but the docs all said I was just depressed. Ten years later, after constantly talking to those kinds of profetionals, i am told i'm bipolar. So i have to quit school, i was failing any way, and Teakwondo/ M.M.A., and volunteering. I have bin testing and trying meds/ and combination's of meds, till now I"m better! No not really, now I've come to realise the reason I was always so sad, was do to my be perfect complex. It's very damaging. The hardest part is, I didn't learn a lot of things that I should have. My brain is wired to believe in failure, and such. I've not learned a lot of things that are needed to progress in life, so I have to try and learn them before I"m forced to go back to work, as the ecconomy is not good, and jobs are few and far between. The jobs that are available are that of graduated university students.
I live with my sister, recovering alcoholic, who finnished schooling for a entry level resident care aid, but now she can't find work. So I paid rent, but I don't know if we'll have the money for next month, and if we don't we'll be living on the street. Yeah, things look pretty grim.

No, i have not girl friend. As for the other girls. I love them still and talk to tehem now and again. But the first one, she tells me she misses me every few weeks. She isn't happy with her BF i guess, and she wants to see me. The second was a friend that I hung out with for about a month, then it just felt wierd, we still say hi upon passing but not really talk so much. Then the next She is well, a wild girl now. I worry about her, as she drinks and drives and drinks often and does a lot of dangerous things. I hung out with her for about a month before we kissed, but we were just friends with benafits, then a few weeks later it got wierd. So we just went to being freinds. Then a girl i had known for 6 months and hung out with quite often well...
She was having relationship issuses, and I was there for her, time and time again. Then after me and the last girl stopped being so close. haha, sorry.:rolleyes: Any who, she and i got closer, and she told me of her BF cheating on her. I must have siad something right because we became freinds with benafits. She knew about my past too, helped me thoguht some of the more lame parts. She and I were very much a like. We both loved kids and we liked reading(though i was very slow.) and video games, etc. She was very hot, at least in my eyes, and a lot of other's too...?? Any who, we just got "close", and her BF and her fought, and I was the one she called. Well, I ended up spending the night. So now i'm just as bad as the guy my ex left me for, if not worse. To be fair, i actually showed my ex that i loved her, and never cheated on her. I'm a one women man. Well, the BF came back the next day, she and I in thier bed... Well he grabbed his stuff, while she was passed out. He little 15-16 year old sister and her had got a little tipsy the night before, hence my being there to take care of them, any way nothing happend he left. well, she and I did our toghter with benafits thing for about a month or 2. We got on great, worked together like you wouldn't believe. I've never felt so respected, loved, and well with some one. She was not mine to be with though. The last two weeks i stayed every night with her. Her BF, Ex at the time, and her were kind of getting back together. I knew she was not mine, but that didn't stop her form showing me how much she loved me in return. She was the most amasing women I had the privliage to be close with. any who, she and him were going off for a jsut "friendly" hang out date, and said she'd be back around 12am. So i waited for her, she didnt ' show i waited an hour longer, she didn't show, i got worried called the hospital police station, but no word. I had to assume she was with him at his place, and she was ok... She was, cam home to her place about 2pm. I told her what i had done, she realised she could have at the very least called me. Then i asked if i should leave she said, "no". I stayed the next few days and it was clear then that it was time to move on. And i did. I felt crushed, but at the same time, fine. She and I we had a lot of fun, and very compatable, but i wasn't the man she loved that way at least. So i let go. I wanted her to be happy.
Then she told me a bit later, "I'm pregnant." :eek: :rolleyes:Figures, the very things I swore I would never do, and I did them. Life is ironic, and humbling. Interfear in anothers relationship, and have a baby that I don't know weather or not I'm the father. Well, they are still together, have the baby, I've seen it once... None of us can afford the money to find out who's the father. Little Ali, 6Lbs and 7ounces, blue eyes. Cute little one either way. I'm in no position to argue anything so I have left it as is.

So yeah, that's where I am, and how I am, and what happened with the girls, and my story. I've dedicated a lot of my time and energy to philosophical endevours, and learning about life.
I like the wisedom of the Buddha, teachings of master Yoda, honor of the Heroes of SOLIDER: Sephiroth, Angeal, Zack, Cloud (embrace your dreams, protect your honor.) I've also my own ideas, and such. I love psychology, philosophy, science in general, reading, learning, Tolkin Characters as in elvish writing style, and so on. My guitar of course.

I think the important thing is you remember that the world is bigger than we are, so even if things get messed up here, there are so many places we can move to and start a different life, even with in our own citys.

I am starting to see a pattern in all the stories I been reading. It seems like we all gave too much to our girls. We spoiled them, spent too much time with them, and put them on a pedestal. This is wrong. We got too attached and they can feel this.

We can't base our life on a woman. It's self destruction. We always have to think, what if she is not there anymore one day? There is no guarantee how long we will be with them. I hope we all learned a lesson here. In your next relationship, be more independent, don't be so available, MAKE HER EARN YOUR TRUST.
Don't pay her a trip if she did not earn it.

If she did something bad to you, don't go buy her a gift and reward her, it's not logical. I know you guys want to be romantic and impress her, but if she did not do anything good for you, why go reward her, she does not deserve it.

My ex made me a list of things she DID'NT want on valentines. Then 3 days before she said ''babe you don't have to get me anything for V day.'' So since she was being bad with me on Friday and Saturday on vday. I did not get her anything, and I told her I did'nt want to see her. I know this was harsh, but I will not accept bad behaviour. Either she changed her attitude and be nice or continue to be a B***H! She chose the 2nd.

Well unfortunately when a woman acts this way with me, I just don't want to be around, I have ZERO TOLERANCE for this crap.
I want a respectfull mature woman, not an immature bad tempered complaining self centered girl. Be tough guys, grow some cojones, don't let these girls step on you. Does it say doormat on your forehead? If you need to buy gifts and impress her with money to get her approval then dude I have bad news.
She is just a materialist, gold digger, using you and doesn't care about your feelings.

Try to find a flexible giver, Google it if you want to know what it is in detail. I don't know abou you, but for me I think I prefer having a woman that shares with me and not always take, take ,take.
I prefer a woman that stays by my side when the going gets tough. When life put obstacles she will battle them with me and not quit and bail out.

Do you want to marry a woman that will quit on you every time she sees problems and panics. I don't. I got enough of my problems, I don't need her problems too. Try to find one with very few problems, and a clean past. If she is tempted to always find a better guy, than this girl is not worth it. What are we? Objects to be used and replaced?

Curious guy aren't ya? :p Thats ok, me too.

Yes we have to be a little "selfish" is guess the word would be, so we don't loose our selves.

Well, it was really a mixture of her money and mine for the $15,000 but I made 4000 a month, she made 1600. Most of that all went to bills, but what ever we had we saved for the trip. She kept buying cloths and stuff for the trip, and spending money saying it was her's to spend, so i do feel kind of bitter about it. I probably put 9-10 grand in and she the rest. But I'm trying to let that go, as I did make that choice on my own.

Yeah, i just started playing guitar, i love it. At the moment, my heart belongs to me. Or at least thats what im trying to do.

Right now, I"m unemployed, on disability for a mental illness, bipolar. So i'm kinda messed up, or was. Hard to explain. When i was younger, since i was born, my family was unstable and every one was always fighting. Really messed me up. Any who, as i grew I developed a fear of failure. Like no one else has that eh? well my fear maybe differnt for the reasoning behind it. I feared not being perfect, because if i was not perfect i was not Lovable, so unless i could do it right the first time, i'd quit out of fear. So as I grew i was always judging my self very harshly, and pretty much i stopped living life, except the most necissarry. Like school, or getting things for people, being out of sight, quiet, and on my own a lot.
Enter my teen years, I was a very shy timid guy, quiet for the most part, and helped people any way i could. I figured if i pleased others, i was perfect, and was told i was many times, but that is not the truth. Any way, I started getting odd feelings. Sad, depressed, empty feelings, with agressive, angery/ happy, anxiative, excited feelings. This was my bipolar, but the docs all said I was just depressed. Ten years later, after constantly talking to those kinds of profetionals, i am told i'm bipolar. So i have to quit school, i was failing any way, and Teakwondo/ M.M.A., and volunteering. I have bin testing and trying meds/ and combination's of meds, till now I"m better!! No not really, now i've come to realise the reason i was always so sad, was do to my be perfect complex. It's very damaging. The hardest part is, i didnt' learn a lot of things that i should have. My brain is wired to believe in failure, and such. I've not learned alot of things that are needed to progress in life, so i have to try and learn them before I"m forced to go back to work, as the ecconomy is not good, and jobs are few and far between. The jobs that are available are that of graduated university students.
I live with my sister, recovering alcoholic, who finnished schooling for a entry level resident care aid, but now she can't find work. So I paid rent, but I don't know if we'll have the money for next month, and if we don't we'll be living on the street. Yeah, things look pretty grim.

No, i have not girl friend. As for the other girls. I love them still and talk to tehem now and again. But the first one, she tells me she misses me every few weeks. She isn't happy with her BF i guess, and she wants to see me. The second was a friend that I hung out with for about a month, then it just felt wierd, we still say hi upon passing but not really talk so much. Then the next She is well, a wild girl now. I worry about her, as she drinks and drives and drinks often and does a lot of dangerous things. I hung out with her for about a month before we kissed, but we were just friends with benafits, then a few weeks later it got wierd. So we just went to being freinds. Then a girl i had known for 6 months and hung out with quite often well...
She was having relationship issuses, and I was there for her, time and time again. Then after me and the last girl stopped being so close. haha, sorry.:rolleyes: Any who, she and i got closer, and she told me of her BF cheating on her. I must have siad something right because we became freinds with benafits. She knew about my past too, helped me thoguht some of the more lame parts. She and I were very much a like. We both loved kids and we liked reading(though i was very slow.) and video games, etc. She was very hot, at least in my eyes, and a lot of other's too...?? Any who, we just got "close", and her BF and her fought, and I was the one she called. Well, I ended up spending the night. So now i'm just as bad as the guy my ex left me for, if not worse. To be fair, i actually showed my ex that i loved her, and never cheated on her. I'm a one women man. Well, the BF came back the next day, she and I in thier bed... Well he grabbed his stuff, while she was passed out. He little 15-16 year old sister and her had got a little tipsy the night before, hence my being there to take care of them, any way nothing happend he left. well, she and I did our toghter with benafits thing for about a month or 2. We got on great, worked together like you wouldn't believe. I've never felt so respected, loved, and well with some one. She was not mine to be with though. The last two weeks i stayed every night with her. Her BF, Ex at the time, and her were kind of getting back together. I knew she was not mine, but that didn't stop her form showing me how much she loved me in return. She was the most amasing women I had the privliage to be close with. any who, she and him were going off for a jsut "friendly" hang out date, and said she'd be back around 12am. So i waited for her, she didnt ' show i waited an hour longer, she didn't show, i got worried called the hospital police station, but no word. I had to assume she was with him at his place, and she was ok... She was, cam home to her place about 2pm. I told her what i had done, she realised she could have at the very least called me. Then i asked if i should leave she said, "no". I stayed the next few days and it was clear then that it was time to move on. And i did. I felt crushed, but at the same time, fine. She and I we had a lot of fun, and very compatable, but i wasn't the man she loved that way at least. So i let go. I wanted her to be happy.
Then she told me a bit later, "I'm prego." :eek: :rolleyes:Figures, the very things I swore I would never do, and I did them. Life is ironic, and humbling. Interfear in anothers relationship, and have a baby that i dont' know weather or not I'm the father. Well, they are still together, have the baby, I've seen it once... None of us can afford the money to find out who's the father. Little Ali, 6Lbs and 7ounces, blue eyes. Cute little one either way. I'm in no position to argue anything so i have left it as is.

So yeah, thats where I am, and how i am, and what happend with the girls, and my story. I've dedicated a lot of my time and energy to philisophical endevours, and learning about life.
I like the wisedom of the Buddha, teachings of master Yoda, honor of the Heros of SOLIDER: Sephiroth, Angeal, Zack, Cloud (embrace your dreams, protect your honor.) I've also my own ideas, and such. I love psychology, philosophy, science in general, reading, learning, Tolkin Characters as in elvish writing style, and so on. My guitar of course.

I think the important thing is you remember that the world is bigger than we are, so even if things get messed up here, there are so many places we can move to and start a different life, even with in our own citys.

Wow that was an interesting story, took me a while to read. Seems like you've come a long way. If that child was yours, wouldn't you want to be in that child's life? Its not fair for her to not know who her real father is? But yah... Were you happy with your life? Are you happy? Wutcha been doing these days? Things seem pretty complicated on your end though, but I know how it feels to lose someone. Did you ever think you were the one that deserves to be with that girl? Lol sorry for the questions I'm just wondering =P

I am starting to see a pattern in all the stories i been reading. it seems like we all gave too much to our girls. We spoiled them, spent too much time with them, and put them on a pedestal. This is wrong. We got too attached and they can feel this.

We can't base our life on a woman. It's self destruction. We always have to think, what if she is not there anymore one day? There is no garantee how long we will be with them. I hope we all learned a lesson here. In your next relationship, be more independant, don't be so available, MAKE HER EARN YOUR TRUST.
Don't pay her a trip if she did not earn it.

If she did something bad to you, don't go buy her a gift and reward her, it's not logical. I know you guys want to be romantic and impress her, but if she did not do anything good for you, why go reward her, she does not deserve it.

My ex made me a list of things she DID'NT want on valentines. Then 3 days before she said ''babe you don't have to get me anything for V day.'' So since she was being bad with me on friday and saturday on vday. I did not get her anything, and i told her i did'nt want to see her. I know this was harsh, but i will not accept bad behaviour. Either she changed her attitude and be nice or continue to be a B***H! she chose the 2nd.

Well unfortunately when a woman acts this way with me, i just don't want to be around, i have ZERO TOLERANCE for this crap.
I want a respectfull mature woman, not an immature bad tempered complaining self centered girl. Be tough guys, grow some cojones, don't let these girls step on you. Does it say doormat on your forehead? If you need to buy gifts and impress her with money to get her approval then dude i have bad news.
She is just a materialist, gold digger, using you and does'nt care about your feelings.

Try to find a flexible giver, google it if you want to know what it is in detail. I don't know abou you, but for me i think i prefer having a woman that shares with me and not always take, take ,take.
I prefer a woman that stays by my side when the going gets tough. When life put obstacles she will battle them with me and not quit and bail out.

Do you want to marry a woman that will quit on you everytime she sees problems and panics. i don't. I got enough of my problems, i don't need her problems too. Try to find one with very few problems, and a clean past. If she is tempted to always find a better guy, than this girl is not worth it. What are we? Objects to be used and replaced?

I agree dude. Did you give too much to your ex too?

Yah I've learned that it is really a bad move to give everything to a girl. I trusted her, gave her support when she needed, and she replaced me. Im not something to be replaced. Im SOMEONE!! But yah at that point I didn't think she was like that. I thought she was loyal but than all her friends starting to put stuff into her mind like why are you doing long distance relationship? This guy is here for you, you should be happy with him.

Than she left me because of all their pressure and its hard to deal with since I'm further away and couldn't spend as much time with her. She bailed out on me when things got bad. We planned everything, when we could be together, when to get married, where to go on our honeymoon, when we wanted to have kids, what are the names of them and she seemed pretty happy then..

But than the other guy came into her life and she left me like a heartbeat leaving me with nothing. You're right! I do want a women who would appreciate me and not take me for granted, loyal, trustworthy and won't bail when things get bad. Hehe I considered myself romantic and I would like to surprise her with cards, gifts etc... but it turns out to be a waste of money. Yup I would like to share in the next relationship I have and not just give and take and find someone better. WE ARE NOT OBJECTS! We actually have feelings but they don't think we do. The more I think about it the more I think this girl is a b1tch. She treated me like crap. But I actually loved this girl and I still think I do but its slowly fading away... I don't feel as close to her anymore.

Now I'm not sure if ill ever love again or find anyone I would want to be with but I shouldn't worry about that now since I just got out of a relationship, for now ima do what I want and what makes me happy. I got to take one day at a time and try to enjoy life more... lol

Oh yeah I gave her too much! Way too much.

1 month after I was dating her it was christmas and I got her a cellphone. Then more and more gifts. I always paid at restaurants, movies, cafes. One time my credit card was frozen so I had to pay cash and I was missing like 20 dollars to pay the bill. I asked her to help me pay. She got all irritated and mad and offended me in front of her friends. Is that right? I felt like just leaving her there and go home, but I took a deep breath and let the moment go by.

It was all my fault, I gave her too much, too early, so I conditioned her to be like this. She also gave me an ultimatum, that if I did not pay for everything the relationship would not work.
That in her traditions the man is the provider and must pay all the bills when going out.

Oh yeah i gave her too much! way too much.

1 month after i was dating her it was christmas and i got her a cellphone. then more and more gifts. I always paid at restaurants, movies, cafes. One time my credit card was frozen so i had to pay cash and i was missing like 20 dollars to pay the bill. i asked her to help me pay. She got all irritated and mad and offended me in front of her friends. Is that right? I felt like just leaving her there and go home, but i took a deep breath and let the moment go by.

It was all my fault, i gave her too much, too early, so i conditioned her to be like this. She also gave me an ultimatum, that if i did not pay for everything the relationship would not work.
That in her traditions the man is the provider and must pay all the bills when going out.

Wow turns out you gave too much too. I gave too much too. Nestorian gave too much too >_< and turns out all we got was a betrayal of trust and an empty wallet. Well not empty but not as much as we could have spent on ourselves instead. But wow that was really shallow of her, no offence. Money shouldn't be a big deal. Isn't there more to a relationship than just money? What about love? Consideration? Working together? >_< something I figured out that wasn't even there in the first place after all this time...

When do you guys think is the best age to settle down? For some reason I would like to settle down early and get a head start in life. Im 19 almost 20 and I think its about time I want to settle down and find a girl I want to spend the rest of my life with and do that. O_O

From my experience at 25 and up. Not before.
Settle with a girl that is over 23. Before that they just too confused or not ready and need to try things.

If the girl is under 23, I don't recommend you settle down with her.
You might wake up one morning and she will say '' I am not sure what I want anymore'' Confusion is very frequent at that age. I think 25 and up is a good age to settle down. It also depends of the level of maturity and you will feel if the girl is stable and knows what she wants. Heck my ex was 29 and still did not know what she wanted.

If the girl is under 23, i don't recommend you settle down with her.
You might wake up one morning and she will say '' I am not sure what i want anymore'' Confusion is very frequent at that age. i think 25 and up is a good age to settle down. it also depends of the level of maturity and you will feel if the girl is stable and knows what she wants. Heck my ex was 29 and still did not know what she wanted.

Oh. Do they want to be able to sleep around or something and not ready to commit?

Oh. do they want to be able to sleep around or something and not ready to commit?

For sure, they want to explore, they want to see what's out there. Times have changed, people study till their late twenties now, it's hard to focus on work, school and relationships.

A lot of stress and pressure. It's usually best when all this is done and the girl is ready to get serious. Watch out with girls who never had a serious relationship, you might be their first test.

Is the above also true for boys?

Hmmm I don't know about you guys. But I'm the type of person that would want a girl that waits for the special someone and not sleep around... >_< because I'm the same

And yes it goes both ways teastalk

I have read that women, won't appreciate men who are more serious and ready to settle down till they are 33. In general. You know, how we are told, "You're a nice guy, but i don't love you." I'm guessing the women wasn't entirely mature, and probably younger than her 30s. It was a Psychological study on what people want. Well, girls are complaining that they can't find that "nice guy", they are also turning them down left and right. The reasoning behind it was: We live longer, go to school longer, work longer, and retire for longer periods of time; generally speaking. Girls are no longer looking to settle for just any one, they are going to get out and test the cake before they eat it. Not that that is bad. So what they want now, is not a "Nice Guy" but a fun exciting, entertaining, sexy, and relaxed guy who isn't overly into her, nice guy. The illusion of freedom is kept visible, but the burden of the broken heart is no less painful. The get hurt enough, and loose all self respect and well, now we are seeing girls who have no self respect, and show their breasts for just about any reason to any one, and they don't mind that the guy they are with looks at an another girl or cheats on them, because they do the same. What happens behind closed doors eh? There is nothing wrong with this, it's just how they choose to find their way through life.
Usually, the girls who realize they are tiered of the drama, constant drinking, and repeating of the same thing every weekend, look for a guy who is "different", the stereotyped "Nice Guy" and settling down. Nothing wrong with that either.

The reason it bothers us is because we do all the things they ask, but they don't really voice their desire for adventure, or if they do they put it in words that are only half true or explain it as a one time event. Yes there are exceptions to all this, there always seems to be in any situation.

All we can do, is figure ourselves out and let life bring us close to some one we'll love or give us on heck of a ride.

Personally I think the Reckless, careless and foolish ideals of society have deceived us. We got greedy and tried to reach for the stars, but we all know that to reach a star is to get burned. Now every one wants to have what they want, do what they want, sleep with whom they want, and ignore the consequences. Myself and all others included, if you exempt yourself, you are only foolish yourself. We all have needs, and wants, desires, and dreams. It is to be human. But can we shift our thoughts and not think that to not have something so trivial as a nice dress, or bigger truck, or the latest trendy fashion. When is enough, enough? And where is respect, honor, even love. It seems to me that many call "Lust" love. Yes we need passion but lust is uncontrollable, while love is controlled and responsible. I don't know, maybe I'm just insane, but it looks to me like every one is a sell out, and as long as we all agree on it, no one cares.

This applies to every one, male + female.

I have read that women, wont appreciate men who are more serious and ready to settle down till they are 33. In general. You know, how we are told, "You're a nice guy, but i don't love you." I'm guessing the women wasn't entirely mature, and probably younger than her 30s. It was a Psychological study on what people want. Well, girls are complaining that they can't find that "nice guy", they are also turning them down left and right. The reasoning behind it was: We live longer, go to school longer, work longer, and retire for longer periods of time; generally speaking. Girls are no longer looking to settle for just any one, they are going to get out and test the cake before they eat it. Not that that is bad. So what they want now, is not a "Nice Guy" but a fun exciting, entertaining, sexy, and relaxed guy who isn't overly into her, nice guy. The illusion of freedom is kept visible, but the burden of the broken heart is no less painful. The get hurt enough, and loose all self respect and well, now we are seeing girls who have no self respect, and show their breasts for just about any reason to any one, and they don't mind that the guy they are with looks at an another girl or cheats on them, because they do the same. What happens behind closed doors eh? There is nothing wrong with this, it's just how they choose to find their way through life.
Usually, the girls who realize they are tiered of the drama, constant drinking, and repeating of the same thing every weekend, look for a guy who is "different", the stereotyped "Nice Guy" and settling down. Nothing wrong with that either.

The reason it bothers us is because we do all the things they ask, but they don't really voice their desire for adventure, or if they do they put it in words that are only half true or explain it as a one time event. Yes there are exceptions to all this, there always seems to be in any situation.

All we can do, is figure our selves out and let life bring us close to some one we'll love or give us on heck of a ride.

Personally i think the Reckless, careless and foolish ideals of society have deceived us. We got greedy and tried to reach for the stars, but we all know that to reach a star is to get burned. Now every one wants to have what they want, do what they want, sleep with whom they want, and ignore the consequences. Myself and all others included, if you exempt yourself, you are only foolish yourself. We all have needs, and wants, desires, and dreams. It is to be human. But can we shift our thoughts and not think that to not have something so trivial as a nice dress, or bigger truck, or the latest trendy fashion. When is enough, enough? And where is respect, honor, even love. It seems to me that many call "Lust" love. Yes we need passion but lust is uncontrollable, while love is controlled and responsible. I don't know, maybe I'm just insane, but it looks to me like every one is a sell out, and as long as we all agree on it, no one cares.

This applies to every one, male + female.

hey dude watsup? How's it going man?? Anything new? =P how's life? How's it coming? XD

Do you guys believe in the fairy tales that true love will always have a happy ending? =P

Do you guys believe in the fairy tales that true love will always have a happy ending? =P

I'm better taday, tired but better. My mum moved out from the 2 bed room apartment she, my sis, and I we sharing. Very stressful. Blah.

And I got good news from the government. I get more money, well not more but there are some things I can do to help me get a better grasp on school and getting a job. Finnaly things seem to be looking up. I'm tired of this rock bottom, talk to no on, ignore life entirely crap. I want to start working towards living now.


Recently bin deciding what my dreams are, still not srue. Also, still trying to forgive myself for my ex, but it will come with time.

I believe that life is here, we just have to decide what to do with it. When we do, we better get ready for a lot of bumps along the way, with also a few crashes, they are bound to happen.

So fairy tale love, maybe, I'm sure there are those who are quite in love and happy. They say the best things in life, are free. But they also say, the best things in life are worth waiting for. So you decide. Is there a future Fairy tale women in your life, or no...

I'm still focusing on me so, it's still undecided for me.

Do you guys believe in the fairy tales that true love will always have a happy ending? =P
I think I have been through too much to believe in fairy tales, as if you can imagine Prince Charming farting, or Cinderella, not giving the Prince his nookie because she has a headache, or on the rag, then yeah fairy tales can come true. But reality says June Cleaver tells Ward, to put the toilet seat down, when he takes a piss. Fairy Tales always give the romantic view, and everyone lives happy ever after, but reality is that everything has a downside to deal with, they just don't tell you what it is. You find out though, when you get your Cinderella (or Prince Charming), that she(he) will have her/his faults, just as you do, and how you deal with it is what's important.

True love is two partners willing to work through the realities of life, together, no matter what you have to deal with. There is no confusion, or indecision about that, between them.

Edited

I do, my girl, and I are are broken up, and I love her to death, and will do aything for her. If you love someone, how can you let it go? It will always be there, no matter what. Love is like a circle, it goes around forever, its not like heart those are meant to be broken.

Not sure I understand what you mean Josh, but what if the one you love, doesn't share your feelings??

I think what he is trying to say is that love never goes away, which is true. I still love everyone that I used to, but I am not in love with them nor do I want to be with them. You will always have that feeling of love for them because they are a part of your life, they shaped in in which no other person could have shaped it. So with that, I agree, we will always love a person but won't always be in love with them.

Edited

I do, my girl, and I are are broken up, and I love her to death, and will do aything for her. If you love someone, how can you let it go? It will always be there, no matter what. Love is like a circle, it goes around forever, its not like heart those are meant to be broken.

If you truly love a girl than you ll be willing to let her go so she can be happy also right? I know it would be awesome if that person she's happy with is with you because that way you ll be happy too but sometimes it doesn't work that way I guess

If I needed to let go of my boyfriend, I would wish him the best, be happy for him, and move on. There is nothing less attractive than a girl desperately hanging on to an old flame. I know such a desperate woman... My boyfriend's previous girlfriend has tried to stay in my boyfriends life by giving him "innocent" gifts. Little does she know that the TV she gave him is now in my apartment, and the bottle of wine that was "for their special occasion" was used to toast his new relationship with me.

When relationships end, there needs to be a mourning period when your support system kicks in and helps you through your No Contact stage. I think it is critical to go through this stage, otherwise you'll end up in denial and desperate to get back what you lost.

Josh, Love is like a circle, but can easily be tainted or twisted into other things such as: Lust: when one craves another's attention and affection and is willing to do anything for it. Very dangerous. Jealousy: when one loves another, but the other's love is given to an out some one else. There are more but no need to cover everything eh. What I'm getting at is that even if you love some one, it doesn't always mean you will or should be with them, and it seems that a lot of people think that that's how it works. You find one person to love, and that is all there is; but in reality, there is a big world of people out there and you never know where you'll find love. So it wouldn't seem wise to get hung up on one person, or the Lust, or jealousy, and even hate can be the result. At the same time I'd like you to know I understand what you mean about still loving your ex, though you're not together. Mind you, I'm not sure I'd use the term, “to death”. Because she lives her life, and now you are living yours. There maybe friendship there, but is that the love two people share when they are so connected that they are growing together, or are they growing with others?
Personally I think It's all relative, and subject to ones interpretation, but so is all else… “No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head.” ~Terry Josephson

I will also state that I do not think it healthy for people to believe that Love is about self sacrifice, giving everything up just for that person, and dropping your life for them when ever they ask it of you. That I think would be a part of many complexes, the be perfect, try hard, Nice guy, Hero, etc; but these say that you don't really love yourself or Respect yourself. To just drop everything for her, with out a thought for yourself. “If you don't keep yourself above water how can you expect to hold your friends up?” -Me. (old concept, but I just made the words up. If any one can give me reference to where the concept came from I'd appreciate it.) First and most important we must take care of our needs before we can help others learn how to take care of their needs.

Romefalls19, good point that love never really fades. I think people confuse the idea that love dies with the idea that we simply see, or focus on other things making it appear to be that love is gone. Anger, frustration, hurt, sorrow, fear, suffering, Lust, jealousy, and all that is hard to see through when looking for love. Its like the clouds covering up the sun. It's this bright ball of fire, yet water in a gas like state can block or fade it out. We know it's there, but we can not see it until the rain has fallen. Eh?

Makapuu, I don't really like how you worded that top bit about letting go and moving on, it just seems cold and heartless. I'm sure you didn't mean that though. As for the taking time away from that person, mourning, healing, and denial; it seems like a solid expression of what we often experience.

I've come to ponder the idea that, love is not about proving yourself to some one, dedicating yourself to some one, pleasing some one, making kids/ family, sex/ intimacy, and being willing to do anything for some one. No, I wonder if it's not about, Loving yourself, knowing yourself, forgiving yourself, and feeling all those as well as the above family/ friends/ sex/ intimacy/ etc; for some one who reciprocates the same feelings. Then there is the willingness to grow together. But above all else is the taking of responsibility for yourself and your love upon your own shoulders. So that means if the one you love does not reciprocate the feelings and such then you must accept that, and take your time to deal with that, so you can grow again, unhindered by past regrets and suffering.

Maybe that is kind of obvious, but I wonder why others ignore it and attack others for their own fears. Rather than deal with them. I s'pose I know that but it's usually a wise choice to get confirmation.

May peace and kindness be with you.

Thanks Talaniman. Not very many people seem to like that quality in me, as it's a little too sierious I guess. Maybe I need to en-lighten up? XD haha. Yes, well, uhh... As haggrid might say, "sorry 'bout that." Even I don't get me half the time. Lol.

Oh, which reminds me, Mr. Burns "Oh, and one more thing: [ominously] you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.

Smithers: Actually sir, we found the jade monkey; it was in your glove compartment.

Burns: And the road maps? And ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Burns: Ex-cellent! It's all falling into place."

The episode of the simpsons, "Homer goes to school." Funny stuff. Haha.

Your also a nut, but I say that with much love, and respect.:D

Your also a nut, but I say that with much love, and respect.:D

:eek:Haha, thanks. :D:p

P.S. I s'pose I can let some one else take the 100th post, unless editing counts for that?

:eek:Haha, thanks. :D:p

P.S. I s'pose I can let some one else take the 100th post, unless editing counts for that??

haha you got the 100th post =P how's it going nestorian?? How's life? Wutcha been up to these days? =P

haha you got the 100th post =P hows it going nestorian??? hows life?? wutcha been up to these days? =P

Funny, mine said I was the 99Th post. Haha. In yo face-book, wait... What? :p What eve.

I'm OK, need to get my brain working again, it's in tired mode.:eek: You mean there is another Mode?! :p Yeah, that's me. I'd explain it as being like caboose off Red Vs Blue, YouTube - RVB - The Best of Caboose Season 4 and 5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV2yzvAUAQU&feature=related)

I've bin trying to play my guitar. And I'm trying to get a lot of government who ha worked out so they will pay me for being ill, but other than that, I listen to music, read what ever, and try to go to the gym every so often.
So I guess you could say, life is interesting.

How about you None? What's your new story?

Funny, mine said i was the 99Th post. haha. In yo face-book, wait... What??:p What eve.

I'm ok, need to get my brain working again, it's in tired mode.:eek: You mean there is another Mode??!!!:p Yeah, thats me. I'd explain it as being like caboose off of Red Vs Blue, YouTube - RVB - The Best of Caboose Season 4 and 5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV2yzvAUAQU&feature=related)

I've bin trying to play my guitar. And i'm trying to get a lot of government who ha worked out so they will pay me for being ill, but other than that, i listen to music, read what ever, and try to go to the gym every so often.
So i guess you could say, life is interesting.

How about you None?? Whats your new story?

Well Nes, I've been holding my ground lately, and I'm stronger now. Im starting to feel like life can be beautiful again if I let it be. Its almost the summer and I don't feel as depressed anymore. Lol. I still miss my ex and I think I still have some sort of feelings for her I'm not sure what they are anymore. Kind of guilt, love, confused, anger, disgust all mixed together but I think I've finally accepted its over now and I'm taking each day at a time =P.

I just got back from class. I was talking to this girl that sat next to me and I don't even feel guilty anymore now because I'm not with anyone. Didn't get to know her name oh well I won't see her again because today is the last day of classes but oh well... lol there are other girls out there plus she wasn't my type if you know what I mean =P I've been basically have a lot of time now. I was playing my guitar yesterday lol trying to start up my passion again. When I was with my ex I never got a chance to play it becaucse I always had to keep her compnay. Actually I stopped playing because of her because I never had time but now I do =P. Been playing for 9 years now ever since I was 10 lol.

Im trying to pass some time now and improve myself. I think I'm going to start going to the gym again to work out lol and start eating again because I've lost like 10 pounds because of the break up >_< I feel so skinny now lol and maybe after the exams ill go to the book store and start a novel. School is almost over and I'm going back to mny home town soon. I go to a university away from home and I live on residence if I haven't told you. I actually came here for her... so we can be closer but no point dwelling in that anymore.So yah I'm going home soon can't wait to have mom's cooking again after all the junk food I've been eating here every single day lol. Can't wait to stay up all night playing video games with my sis and can't wait to just go to the bar and have a few drinks with my buddies from back home =P

So yah that's what's new with me Nes lol XD but yah don't get me wrong this aren't exactly better yet, their just starting to get better and I do still miss my ex and occasionally think of what could have been if me and her were together. But the trust is broken now and I can't be with her anymore. But yup lol

OK I believe that true love is worth fighting for because I am fighting for my true love right now... so if any of you want to talk to me because I need someone to talk to him then write me... PLEASE and NONE she isn't worth waiting for trust me I am a girl and I would know! I have done the same thing to a guy that she is doing to you... really she isn't worth waiting for.

I Believe That If U Really L0ve A Special S0me And Think That Y0u T00 C0uld P0ssibly Be Together In The FAR Future Then Fight For It But If The Other Person Isn't Guna Love U Back T0 Us Ful Potential Then Im S0ry But The Best Thing Is T0 Let It G0... Its Just N0t W0rth It If Ur N0t Guna Be L0ved As Much As U Deserv

ok i believe that true love is worth fighting for because i am fighting for my true love right now...so if any of you wanna talk to me because i need someone to talk to him then write me...PLEASE and NONE she isnt worth waiting for trust me i am a girl and i would know!! i have done the same thing to a guy that she is doing to you...really she isnt worth waiting for.

Hey panda, I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say. You read my story on the other thread? O_O you just said you believe true love is worth fighting for so are you telling me its worth fighting for but than you tell me she's not worth waiting? That kind of contradicts. What do you mea you're a girl and you would know? How? O_O You've done the same thing to a guy? But that puts us in different positions. I am that guy and you were on the other end. What do you mean? Maybe the love I shared with her isn't true love. That's why its not worth fighting for?

ok i believe that true love is worth fighting for because i am fighting for my true love right now...so if any of you wanna talk to me because i need someone to talk to him then write me...PLEASE and NONE she isnt worth waiting for trust me i am a girl and i would know!! i have done the same thing to a guy that she is doing to you...really she isnt worth waiting for.

Hey Panda,

Nestorian here, part time jedi, just plain old nut the rest. ;) Haha. Sorry read back in the posts you'll get it.

What do you mean by you are fighting for your true love? We need some information. And why should we talk to your true love? I mean we could but, why are we talking to them and not you? After all it seems to be your life that is being so effected...

So if you just give us more detail about your sistuation, and explian in depth what the problem seems to be. We'd all be more than happy to give "our Two cents". Talaniman is really great with information and what not, I recoment talking to Talaniman and listening very closely too.

May Peace and Kindness be with you.

hey panda, im not quite sure what you're trying to say. you read my story on the other thread? O_O you just said you believe true love is worth fighting for so are you telling me its worth fighting for but than you tell me she's not worth waiting? that kind of contradicts. what do you mea you're a girl and you would know? how? O_O You've done the same thing to a guy? but that puts us in different positions. i am that guy and you were on the other end. what do you mean? maybe the love i shared with her isnt true love. thats why its not worth fighting for?

She is telling you that she knows what the girl is doing and she knows what she it thinking, and that she is playing you. By the sounds of your story. And that she needs some one to talk to her True love because she is not playing him, but "her" true love is a guy and guys don't play those kinds of games, or something along that.

Ok so that is all just a shot in the dark from the details. I hope I'm not tooo far off.;)

Talk to you all later eh, got to go see a movie. I hope it's a gooder. Peace.

Hey... im sorry I realized that I typed that wrong... but if you want to go and read my post and help me out... there were people on there cutting me down but if you don't read the actual one that I typed but reread the one that I have in the comment section and you will understand maybe

I believe in fighting till the end if you love them. If you did everything you could do, that's all that matters. If they respond or not that's their prerogative. I wish I could go back and erase the arguments we had. Unfortunately life does not permit this.

If they love you they will forgive. If they don't , accept it and move on and learn from this. But always fight till the end. Forget your ego, or you might regret it later on in life.

i believe in fighting till the end if you love them. if you did everything you could do, that's all that matters. If they respond or not that's their prerogative. I wish i could go back and erase the arguments we had. Unfortunately life does not permit this.

If they love you they will forgive. if they don't , accept it and move on and learn from this. But always fight till the end. Forget your ego, or you might regret it later on in life.

Okay. That's what I believe too. Screw the pride or ego or w.e if you're going to regret it later on in life. What do you mean fight till the end? When is it the end? How do you know it's the end?

Okay. Thats what i believe too. Screw the pride or ego or w.e if you're going to regret it later on in life. What do you mean fight till the end? when is it the end? how do you know its the end?

When your near the end you can feel her slipping away. She will talk different, cold, distant, confused. You got to try to talk some sense into her. Then leave and let her miss you. But never accuse her or blame her for the problems in the relationship. Accept you made mistakes and take the blame.

When your near the end you can feel her slipping away. She will talk different, cold, distant, confused. you gotta try to talk some sense into her. Then leave and let her miss you. But never accuse her or blame her for the problems in the relationship. Accept you made mistakes and take the blame.

I've already feel distant when is started NC 2 weeks ago and she is cold and confused. Its not time to break NC to talk some sense into her. She's already picked another guy...

I've thought about it, and I believe that you have to:

Let them know how you feel. Even if you think they know that you love them. You might as well say it plain: "I still love you and I still want to be with you, please let us try it over."

Apologize for whatever you think caused you to break up so that you can be sure that they know that you're willing to accept that you made mistakes. Let them know that you're willing to make things right.

If that fails... it's time to let go. You tried your best. There shouldn't be anything left to regret about the end.

I've thought about it, and I believe that you have to:

Let them know how you feel. Even if you think they know that you love them. You might as well say it plain: "I still love you and I still want to be with you, please let us try it over."

Apologize for whatever you think caused you to break up so that you can be sure that they know that you're willing to accept that you made mistakes. Let them know that you're willing to make things right.

If that fails... it's time to let go. You tried your best. There shouldn't be anything left to regret about the end.

Wrong... wrong... and WRONG! First and lastly, the "Apologize" thing is absolutely inaccurate. A LOT of times, when someone breaks up with you, it isn't YOUR fault, so just flat out apologizing for you being yourself and them not being happy with it, is absolute garbage! Relationships are a two way street. Very rarely is it just one person's fault that it ended. Don't lower yourself just because you didn't want something to end.

Wrong...wrong...and WRONG! First and lastly, the "Apologize" thing is absolutely inaccurate. A LOT of times, when someone breaks up with you, it isn't YOUR fault, so just flat out apologizing for you being yourself and them not being happy with it, is absolute garbage! Relationships are a two way street. Very rarely is it just one person's fault that it ended. Don't lower yourself just because you didn't want something to end.

KC is right. And by the way I tried all of those and now I'm in NC. APOLOGIZING DOES NOT WORK!! You're just giving them the power and if they take you back you ll always be on their leash. I've learned its time to move on now. Dude trust me I tried everything in the book to get her back but it just doesn't work so I'm in NC now ready to move on

Wrong...wrong...and WRONG! First and lastly, the "Apologize" thing is absolutely inaccurate. A LOT of times, when someone breaks up with you, it isn't YOUR fault, so just flat out apologizing for you being yourself and them not being happy with it, is absolute garbage! Relationships are a two way street. Very rarely is it just one person's fault that it ended. Don't lower yourself just because you didn't want something to end.

It depends if you know you did some wrong things, acknowledging them and apologizing for them shows you are sincere and want to work things out, but if you did'nt do anything wrong then you should not apologize. I admit I was being a jerk sometimes with her, she was also wrong in some situations. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and admitting our mistakes takes guts and you got to put your pride aside for a moment. If It's always your fault and she left you and you are always to blame, there is a big problem and you got to try to solve it with her.

Actions speak louder than words. Apologizing for ANYTHING is truly meaningless unless you have the actions to back it up. Relationship problems arrise from a LONG line of things that are going on, so it isn't like a light switch where you can just apologize, correct your actions and be done with it...

I couldn't care less about an apology. I want to know what you are going to do to fix the behavior that warranted the said apology.

It depends if you know you did some wrong things, acknowledging them and apologizing for them shows you are sincere and want to work things out, but if you did'nt do anything wrong then you should not apologize. I admit i was being a jerk sometimes with her, she was also wrong in some situations. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and admitting our mistakes takes guts and you gotta put your pride aside for a moment. if It's always your fault and she left you and you are always to blame, there is a big problem and you got to try to solve it with her.

The only thing I did wrong was being too clingy, nothing more and I don't feel like I should apologize for that because that's who I am and there is nothing seriously wrong with that and maybe for trying too hard to get her back.

Actions speak louder than words. Apologizing for ANYTHING is truly meaningless unless you have the actions to back it up. Relationship problems arrise from a LONG line of things that are going on, so it isn't like a light switch where you can just apologize, correct your actions and be done with it...

I couldn't care less about an apology. I want to know what you are going to do to fix the behavior that warranted the said apology.

You promise change but by that time she won't be willing to gve you a chance for you to show them you really can and so its time to move on and let her go. And I don't think you should change for anyone because that means you're not yourself and there are plenty of people out there who would love to be with you for who you are.

The only thing i did wrong was being too clingy, nothing more and i dont feel like i should apologize for that because thats who i am and there is nothing seriously wrong with that and maybe for trying too hard to get her back.

Then I suggest you stop the being clingy, take a few steps back, let her get tired of the rebound guy, and give her some space and time. If she loves you she will miss you and come back. Keep doing NC. She will wonder what you are doing and if you are seeing other girls. Mine asked me this right away, cause some girls on Facebook wrote that they had a good time with me when we were out at the club. Her friends must have saw that on Facebook and told her. But I told her I am not seeing anyone and my heart is still here with you. I do not know what will happen, but we are going to take it slowly, But like you said earlier, not put all my energy in this and don't have too much hope or I'll get hurt again.

Wrong...wrong...and WRONG! First and lastly, the "Apologize" thing is absolutely inaccurate. A LOT of times, when someone breaks up with you, it isn't YOUR fault, so just flat out apologizing for you being yourself and them not being happy with it, is absolute garbage! Relationships are a two way street. Very rarely is it just one person's fault that it ended. Don't lower yourself just because you didn't want something to end.

I can see where you are coming from on this.

I also just wanted to say that some might end up with regrets if they don't try all they can in order to bring the relationship back. Who knows if the ex will say, "I wanted you to try harder, your attempts seemed lackluster."

Then on the other hand, I could also say, "no one wants a girlfriend or boyfriend who makes you try until you're exhausted and are crying tears of blood."

Here is just a thought.

If you and your ex break up. You tell yourself you will do anything to get them back. You fight for them, promise change and all those sort of stuff. Say in the end you get them back, it will be under their terms and you will do whatever they want you to because you don't want them to leave you again. Can you live under those conditions? I don't think I can.

Would you guys say this is accurate?

Well it depends on what they ask you. Say that they wanted you to call them every day. Sure, I could do it.

Don't expect it to be something so simple just like that. She wouldn't break up with you because you didn't call her everyday. Im talking about something big that could be a reason why the break up happened in the first place. Something that might contradict who you are.

I do believe that if things are too easy and everything's going too smooth it isn't true love. True love is when you state your opinion and even when you fight and disagree you two can sit down without arguing and come to one common ground. Me and my fianc'e argue sometimes especially recently like last night but we listen to each other and talk things through. However you're going to come across points when you can't always talk it through like you thought so today I'm kind of in a pickle myself because I didn't think there was nothing we couldn't get through. I would fight till the very end to make things work because I don't want to be without him but if it would ever come down to something serious I would leave. You have to know when it's worth fighting for and if you realize all that you're fighting isn't worth the trouble then you leave. Love is truly what matters to you. EX. If all you two do is fight and you can't fix things yeah take breaks but if it keeps up after then with your love for her you'll let her go because if she's not happy with you or you with her you will want her to be happy. That's love.

My belief, there is no greater thing in the world than to have a loving partnership. A man is only half of what he was created for just as a woman is. Together, they become one. People, including myself, are the most emotional to relationships than anything else because of this natural need. It is my belief that it is what makes us whole and complete. Soulmate to me is a word that describes this, being made as only half of something that a greater being has created us to be. If we were to all have this completeness in our lives, wouldn't the world be so much easier to live in? But as all great things, we must work and persevere for it.

My belief, there is no greater thing in the world than to have a loving partnership. A man is only half of what he was created for just as a woman is. Together, they become one. People, including myself, are the most emotional to relationships than anything else because of this natural need. It is my belief that it is what makes us whole and complete. Soulmate to me is a word that describes this, being made as only half of something that a greater being has created us to be. If we were to all have this completeness in our lives, wouldn't the world be so much easier to live in? But as all great things, we must work and persevere for it.

My opinion is that we are allready whole and complete just as we are. We are never half of a whole and there is no one that can complete us. In thinking that we are half of a whole basically is saying that you need a relationship to "save" you or "complete" you.

I like to call this the Jerry McGuire "you complete me" syndrome. In the movie Renee Zellweger and Tom Criuse fall in love and profess to one another, "you complete me." It was a tug at your heart strings kind of movie. But off the big screen this really wrecks havoc on men and women and put a huge strain on our emotional well being.

I would not want to be in a relationship where my man was only putting in 50% of himself into it. Nor would I be only putting in 50%. That is what they used to say and believe in the old days and people throughout generations continue to adopt that mind set about relationships. I'm saying that we are already complete and whole and relationships are 100/100 not 50/50. That would mean you are only giving half of yourself to something that is important to you.

I lost my first love 4 months ago. We were a love that is hardly seen anymore I guess. We spent every single day together for an entire year, were close in mind and spirit, everything. Although, maybe I'm foolish lol. Anyway, we spent every single day of an entire year together, telling one another every single day that we loved each other. We told each other everything, however, one day, it all turned sour. I went to my brothers bachelor party that had strippers. A stripper gave me a lap dance. That started the trust issue to break down. After that, she made me start facing the problems of my past, which naturally, I disagreed with. I didn't want to face anything of my past. Every time she made me face it, we fought. Even at the end, she never wanted to leave, she just felt things wouldn't change if she stayed around. Then like a man in a daze, I tried every way in the book to get her back, without trying to work on myself. We started getting back together, but I was too impatient and it fell apart again. She still loves me now, but we have to be apart for a while.

I have been working on myself, but in that time, she started seeing someone else. I know she hasn't forgotten about me, but I know that she felt like she had to move on. The new guy is a saint. He's 28, she's 21, he's a very good christian that follows the book, he's a middle school teacher of math, loves children, a very good man; very good for her. I know that I was her first love and we have some AMAZING memories together, but sometimes that strong of love isn't enough. I don't have the money he has because I'm still a college student and I can't do the things he does because I can't drive due to a disability; he kicks my straight up lol. But after everything, I see that he is great for her and I just want someone to give her that love she deserves. Of course I would fight to get her back, but I'm not the man this guy is. I have changed a lot (used to be an atheist, then converted to Christianity after some other stuff happened, started reading a lot more, especially books women, started getting into shape, and my personality and demeanor has gone down, I'm quieter now lol). I was very good to her, did everything for her (used to ride my bike a mile in the winter time, with extra clothing in my backpack so she could be warm, in 50 degrees and lower weather, to pick her up from work just to make sure she got home safe; didn't have a car). I loved her very much, with all my heart; we just fought over stupid stuff because I hadn't faced my past yet. Now that I have, I'm OK again, but it's too late for us. I guess the point of all this is that even if you love someone with all your heart, you have to give them up for the better.