I have a major problem lying. Not just to my friends and co-workers, but to my family and to my husband. I chose to have emotional relationships with men at my work against my husbands wishes, and did so for months. He had already confronted me once about a phone call he saw, but I continued with the relationships even after the huge disagreement. I talked on the cell phone for long periods every day and sent text messages constantly. I went to lunches and used a credit card when I knew we didn't have money, and always pretended everything was fine. There was nothing physical, but all of the interactions were against what my husband and I had just discussed. I have a high stress job, and the stress of this unfaithful lifestyle was taking it's toll. I had considered hurting myself, but realized I needed major counseling. This past Friday, my whole pyramid of lies came crashing down on me, and even though I hate myself for all the pain I caused, I feel a sense of relief that I'm going to be punished and get what I deserve. I've lost the love and trust in my marriage, and rightfully so. My husband is willing to go to counseling to see if all these lies are something we can move past. I wouldn't blame him if he hated me forever. I've turned into the very thing that I hate the most, and he deserves much better than that. How do I even begin to deserve the chance to rebuild what I destroyed? I'm willing to own up to everything, but do I even deserve the chance?

I would suggest seeking Professional Help, esp if you want to rebuild what you lost.

What is the reason you do so?
What kick do you get out of it?
And why?

I probably think in different terms about this than some folks because I came from such a dysfunctional family and I was so affected by that for some time. I don't see you as a bad person trying to become good as much as a sick person trying to get well. I have been sick too and eventually found help. I believe your therapist will see it in a similar light. No sick person needs to be judged harshly and anyone seeking help gets my support. I hope that you sincerely apply yourself to the process. My brother is a pathological liar. It has cost him very dearly all through his life, much suffering for him and others. Its almost like an addiction to him but then he holds counselors in contempt and only see them as a challenge to defeat or get over on. Let that not be you, okay? No one gets hurt in this deal anymore than you do. I see that very plainly. Good luck and thanks for posting.

To: Lynnette34

Hi!

You should seek professional counciling, but you should say to yourself if my husband was doing this to me how would I feel, you should write down what would you do and use your feelings when you write it down then it will help you use your feeling properly and not lie, try not to lower yourself by lowering the bar, you need to watch Dr. Phil also and learn things or you should go and see him it will be a cheaper alternative, but one thing comes to my mind if you are suffering from something in the past like coming from a disfunctional family it is very hard for me to believe that you can keep a marriage and have a stressfull job, but I have to believe you and if you want to email me about it you can, good luck.

Get to a counselor immediately. You know and admit you have a problem. That's good but that alone won't cure it. You need professional therapy so begin at once. You need to get to the root cause as to why you do these things. Only then can you stop doing them. You'll also need to work on forgiving yourself for the past wrongs you've done and your therapist will help you with that as well.