Me and my girlfriend have been together for 1 year and 3 months,
she is 17 going 18 in a month and I'm 18 going 19 in 3 months,
my girlfriend has always loved me dearly, she knew more about me than I knew about myself and as did I her, after 1 year in, we had been so close that I tried to talk to her about keeping some space in the relationship, she kept refusing and that's when I kind of said we're not married, we have to stop acting like it. After that day I realised it was a very big mistake on my part, but since then her feelings for me started fading and mine started giving her more love and there was confusion. Let me add ( in that 1 year I have been going to school and working, the first 9 months or so I have tried my very best to meet her everyday, we don't go to the same school, so after 9 months u know the rest I guess) just last month she started practicing for a school dance, 4 guys and 4 girls, I'm off school now and just working and I helped them in the very beginning of there routine because I am a dancer, after that she said she did not want me to come because she said she did not want to waste my time helping everyone because it's their dance ( in a loving way, Don't get her wrong she loves me but she's confused) there is one guy in the group who she started sharing all her feelings with, he as u say, comforted her in times of need when I wasn't there ( I had a suspicion they liked each other because she would sometimes ignore me to talk to him out of the whole group to discuss dance practice on the phone).( they haven't done anything) I got a new job just yesterday from 8am-4:30pm and while I was there I realised that I need a job with more flexible hours to spend time with her. This was on a Friday before march break this year so its all recent. She had told me the whole dance group was going to "his" house for practice and just some drinking, which they all did go( the whole group). I trust my girlfriend not to drink in my absence and she didn't, it was just the guys. She told me shed b there from 9 am till 1:30 pm. I left at work at 4:30 and texted her that I'm coming to see her outside her house, but she said she was still there (the whole group was) I told her I'll come there to see her and than she said no... I asked why and she said because, I quit my job on the first day (this same day) to spend time with her and I was stressed. I asked her why again and she said the guys are drunk.. (as a boyfriend what would u expect) I told her I didn't want to see them just her, she like please trust me so I got angry and said fine have (all threw text). We did not talk the whole day until 9 pm. I called her feeling bad and I was still angry and I asked what she did there, she told me the basics, but then it got very emotional and she opened up that how he's always been there for her when I haven't, and how like ( when we were first going out) she talked to him till 5 in the morning about random stuff, and how the same day as I'm talking to her on the phone she said the whole dance group played basketball outside and how he gave her his jacket to wear cause it was cold and how (she got a necklace from her parents for her 16th birthday which she wears it all the time with her name on it) he started wearing her necklace and she wore his. I never asked once to wear her necklace since we started goin' out because it wasn't right, but this guy who came in for 1 month...
we talked again that night round 12ish and it got very emotional, she said she loved me very much (and I know she's telling the truth) and she doesn't want anything to happen to us. She said I just felt farther from u when u said that marriage thing. And she still wants to be friends with that guy because she said he doesn't know what he's doing he's just a caring person, and she can't do it because he's such a nice guy and she shared so much with him that she can't just say we can't be friends. I went to her house that night a 1 am and talked outside in my car. She said that she wants to make it work if I'm willing to make it work, but she's scared that she might start liking the other guy with all that's going on and she can't leave him in the blue after all she's shared with him as a friend. So it's the opposite of what I did to her after 9 months, I tried to stay away, but she said she's very confused and she doesn't know what to do... PLEASE HELP!!
I never cried in front of her once through our whole relationship, but that night, it was like hundreds of funerals combined...
she felt very bad too and cried as well, but also knowing that I never cried in front of her till today, she realised I still love her very much, and she's confused. She said lets start fresh and try to build up the love again but... the guy is still in the picture, and if she loves me, why do I feel competition..
:(
:confused:

I read about half of that (it's very hard to read without spaces between sentences, one big paragraph, and no capital letters. If you want more answers then mine, you might want to clean that up) and realized she was into another guy and then skipped to the bottom where you cried in front of her.

Here's the deal. You are right, you should never have made a comment about "we're not married" because although your not, the moment you say something like that is the moment she believes your not in it for the long haul. She started backing away, and when that happened you kept going in. In reality you should have backed off too.

Now there's another guy in the picture and instead of cutting all ties, you keep going forward. You made yourself second, because you are emotional and weak and he is strong, fresh, and new. You are crying to her and he's dancing and having a good time.

At this point, you need to break up so you can focus on bringing your confidence back up. Right now your life is so dependent on her, which is absurd, it should be dependent upon yourself. The only way to get there where you are not insecure based on her actions is to distance yourself from her and rebuild yourself.

Hmm I would like to know how long has she known this guy for to be sharing all her feelings to. I don't understand why she would be sharing so much with this guy I mean that's what you're there for and her current close friends. It's a dance group yeah so strictly business it should be kept. If I were you I'd be worrying about how this even came about a girl doesn't share her feelings with just anyone. My girl has a friend in work who she talks about a lot in a friendly way because they are quite similar in personalities but the difference is she doesn't share her intimate feelings with him and she says he reminds her of me which makes me feel secure because I'm kind of involved lol.

It seems to me she is not having her emotional needs met and that's why she's looking for it elsewhere. This isn't your fault if she's not communicating this with you how should you know?

If I were you I'd be questioning her about why she feels the need to discuss things with him and not you.

Millions, yes millions of people break up everyday for one reason, or another, and whatever the reason, IT SUCKS BIG TIME!!!

For the next six months you will be going through every feeling in the book, and then some, as you deal with this situation.

For now, Leave her completely alone, and read the stickies at the beginning of this forum, and the stories here for some very good suggestions, on how we humans deal with the hurt of a break up!

This is also the place to rant, vent, and ask questions, as you go STRICTLY NO CONTACT with your now ex.