Chillaxguy90
Mar 11, 2009, 04:05 PM
I've been friends with this girl I know for about 5 years now. After high school we lost touch, and about a year later (now to be precise) we started talking and hanging out again. A lot actually. Last year, she told me that she liked me a lot, but gave up when I didn't show any signs of interest. But you see, I did like her. I was just too shy to ask her out, she was absolutely gorgeous and I was just your normal average guy. I didn't think I stood a chance. I think the only reason she told me that was because she had already started dating this other guy. I felt like I blew my only chance, but I accepted my fault and moved on. However, now I find I have one more chance at making this work. Her boyfriend and her broke up around 6 months ago, so I'm hoping to rebuild on how she felt about me a year ago. See, this is where another problem arises which might risk us being together again, and it's not my shyness either.
Since she broke up with her ex, her friends have been trying to hook her up on dates with other guys. They succeeded once. When she showed the slightest bit of interest in him, he became completely obsessive of her. Of course this completely ruined his chance of being with her, she hates guys who are "clingy". They are not dating, but he still tries to control her every move. He constantly asking who she is with and what she is doing. He yells at her if she is with her other guy friends. One time he called yelling at her for hanging out with me, while I was with her (she put the phone on speakerphone). He even sometimes shows up at her house uninvited. It's easy to see that this is putting a lot of stress on her. She almost cried in front of me because of him yelling at her. She has made it clear to him that she wants nothing to do with him, but he doesn't get the hint. She has even been mean to him, so mean in fact that it would make most men cry. She just can't seem to get rid of him. He's stalking her in the sense of the word.
You see, I really like this girl. She doesn't know it yet, but I don't know if it's a good time to tell her. I really do want to, but with her being distracted by this other guy, I don't know how she will take it. Also, if this guy is already giving her this much grief, I don't know how he would react towards her if we started dating, or me. I've seen this guy, I wouldn't win. Plus I'm afraid that she might worry too much on this and her mind won't be so focused on us. Also I don't want to miss my chance again to tell her how I feel.
I guess I really don't know exactly what I'm trying to ask here, just some info on what I should do. Should I tell her and hope for the best, and then work through each problem as they arise? Or should I wait till she resolves her conflict, and hope she doesn't find someone else before she does? Just some evaluation and some general input would be nice. I'm sorry this was long and drug out, but thanks for understanding and for any help. And if anything I said isn't very clear, just let me know. I have a lot going through my mind right now. -Chillaxguy90
Since she broke up with her ex, her friends have been trying to hook her up on dates with other guys. They succeeded once. When she showed the slightest bit of interest in him, he became completely obsessive of her. Of course this completely ruined his chance of being with her, she hates guys who are "clingy". They are not dating, but he still tries to control her every move. He constantly asking who she is with and what she is doing. He yells at her if she is with her other guy friends. One time he called yelling at her for hanging out with me, while I was with her (she put the phone on speakerphone). He even sometimes shows up at her house uninvited. It's easy to see that this is putting a lot of stress on her. She almost cried in front of me because of him yelling at her. She has made it clear to him that she wants nothing to do with him, but he doesn't get the hint. She has even been mean to him, so mean in fact that it would make most men cry. She just can't seem to get rid of him. He's stalking her in the sense of the word.
You see, I really like this girl. She doesn't know it yet, but I don't know if it's a good time to tell her. I really do want to, but with her being distracted by this other guy, I don't know how she will take it. Also, if this guy is already giving her this much grief, I don't know how he would react towards her if we started dating, or me. I've seen this guy, I wouldn't win. Plus I'm afraid that she might worry too much on this and her mind won't be so focused on us. Also I don't want to miss my chance again to tell her how I feel.
I guess I really don't know exactly what I'm trying to ask here, just some info on what I should do. Should I tell her and hope for the best, and then work through each problem as they arise? Or should I wait till she resolves her conflict, and hope she doesn't find someone else before she does? Just some evaluation and some general input would be nice. I'm sorry this was long and drug out, but thanks for understanding and for any help. And if anything I said isn't very clear, just let me know. I have a lot going through my mind right now. -Chillaxguy90