My ex and I met in 8th grade. We started as best friends, but I soon found out she had liked me all along. And I too shared these feelings. We went out for about 8 months and believe that we loved each other, and connected better than no other. I, like most guys, went a little crazy near the end and got jelous and we got in a couple fights. She broke up with me because I was too "attatched." the break up went badly for me and I ended up not talking to her anymore, after she said not to. She, however always wanted to remain friends.

Everyday I would think about her and what she was doing with other guys, and in general. I soon found out that she had been missing me as well. She started prank calling me with her friend and iming me on aim, however I didn't answer. Pretty soon my friend had told me that she still has a thing for me deep down under the surface. Because of this, I talked to her again. We quickly started liking each other and wanted to get back in a relationship, however, a week later she told me she doesn't want to keep going back to the same guy. Even though I was her best boyfriend, and treated her the best.

I stopped talking to her again, however again, I was still feeling crushed and that I need her. My friend again told me to go for it, when she was iming and calling me again. So I did. We hit it off great. We became good friends again within about a week. Give or take a couple days more, she told me that she had realized she likes me again. After a month of having a "thing" I asked if she would like to get into a relationship again. She replied "lets hold off for now, and wait until were sure we want to do this again." I asked is that a good thing. And she said its because she cares more about us than anything so she doesn't want it to turn out like every relationship.

So we waited. About 4 months later near valentines day, I asked her out. (she had told me she wanted to about 2 weeks before). When I asked her she was so excited and happy. We would tell each other we love each other and talk about the future. Until two days ago, out of nowhere, she tells me we need to break up. (we haven't had any fights or arguments at all, and everything was great). She told me that "she likes me too much and has too many feelings for me" I said that is good. And she said "since she loves me soo much and is obsessed with me then she has to do this, because she needs it." why would she want to break up with me and experience other stuff with other guys if she is in love and loves me so much?! And I'm sure she wasn't lying because we have such a big past with each other. Currently, we are waiting the week out to see how she feels at the end (if she still wants to do it). What should I do? What could I do to get her to realize what I am. (she loves me, she's obsessed with me, why in the world would she want to leave me?)

Any help is worth it!
Thank you

This sounds like an espiode of 90210. How many times are the two of you going toy around with each other feelings? You stated that the two of you love each other and have a deep connection then what is with all the game playing? You need to sit down and rethink what is love because this isn't. All of this on and off again is no good mentally nor emotionally. Time to pull the plug on this girl but than again I guess you do this when your young because you have time to waste because I did this a lot in my teens years until I grew up and understood what love meant then and the true meaning of that word. Move on!

Thank you liz. I appreciate your help liz.

The only thing is when I'm away from her I think about her everyday and night. And what she's doing and how she's feeling about me, and if she's with any guys. I know I'm supossed to get over her and pull the plug, but how?

How old are you two as 8th grade is pretty young and if your all wrapped up in her, what do you do for yourself?

You must back it up, and balance your life with other things, and see what you are missing here guy. Give it time, and get busy.

8th grade was when we first got together. Now we've been together 3 separate times, since then. I'm currently in 10th grade. I know I love her because I never can stop thinking about her. She means everything to me.

I talked to her yesterday and she said she doesn't need a relationship where she's obsessed with someone right now. And by this she means for a long time, like she's not ready for a serious relationship. (but she loves me more than anything)

Threads merged

As my previous quesitons state my girlfriend and I were having some problems, and thinking about breaking up. Well that has happened. From thinking that its not going to work, my girlfriend's feelings for me have dropped drastically. However, whenever we talk on the phone I can clearly see that she still likes me. But she says and thinks that she is over me completely.

Is there anyway I can help her realize that she still has many feelings for me?
Any help is great.
Thanks!

Hey idunnno. Your question is one that most if not all of us on this board has initially come across. "How do we make them come back?" "How do we make them see it the way I do?"

The answer is this, none of us including you can make the other person come back if they do not want to. There are ways to help yourself heal.

I don't know your situation, but I would not be able to talk to the person I broke up with recently and tell them I'm over them if I still have feelings. Seems like there's more to this story.

Any more details? Length of relationship? Age?

Short answer is to focus on yourself now and do things for you. There's great info on this board and a lot of people that have been in your shoes that are here to provide support.

Your threads have been merged, and there is no need for a separate question, when you can ask it here.

Just scroll down to the answer box to respond and give updates.

However, whenever we talk on the phone i can clearly see that she still likes me. But she says and thinks that she is over me completely.


Is there anyway i can help her realize that she still has many feelings for me?
any help is great.


No you cannot, what you can do is accept the relationship has changed. She is no longer wanting romance with you, so stop begging, it makes you lose all dignity, and self respect.

Deal with your own feelings now, and not the relationship.

One thing that bothers me like more than antyhing, is jelousy I guess. I can't stop thinking of her with other guys, or doing stuff with other guys. (it gets to me more than anything.)

Is there anyway to rid this feeling?

Get busy with your own life enough to not have time to worry about what she is doing. You can't control her actions, so no point in worrying yourself to death about it.

Jealousy is a feeling to be dealt with like any other. Over time it fades, if your doing what needs to be done for yourself, staying busy with the things you enjoy doing, and moving forward with your life.

First, all because you think about her all the time doesn't means you love her. Your confusing the two.

How to stop thinking about her? You must take the focus off her by focusing on something else.

Tal explained it already so maybe you should review what he wrote again.

Well, I stopped calling her. Everyday she calls me and tries to start a conversation. Just the other day she texted me just to say hi.

What does this mean?

It means she is saying hi. Stop thinking that everything has a hidden meaning behind it. She could just be wondering how you are. From the sounds of your relationship it was on, off, on off, surely you must realize that this is not good? A relationship does not consist of break ups.

Time to move on, and focus on other things than your ex.

Yeah, but like everyday? Why would she only want to say hi to me, and like everyday?

To keep you confused, and continue that on/off stuff, Its part of a on going cycle, as you have to know already.

Yeah, she still tries to talk to me everyday. Whether it is telling me something, or just saying hi.

I have accepted the fact that it is over, and that I should move on. But I keep finding myself thinking about her everyday.

You can't get a girl back, you can only push her further away by trying. If she loves you she will come back to you on her own. I say give her and yourself some space and do some of your own things for now.

Yeah that's what I was thinking. It's just every time I try and hangout with people, I always end up thinking about her. I guess its just a matter of time.

She now told me that she may be back on with another guy, that she has also had an ''on off thing.''

With this information it makes me want to get over her and not have to deal with all of this anymore. However, I find myself wanting to talk to her even more. I guess to try and bring her away from him and back to me.

Just because we think about a person a lot, doesn't mean we can't do other things that we enjoy, and make us happy.

For sure your healing will be slow, and you will stay confused, if you still talk to her, or spy on her life, and worry about what she is doing, or thinking, and with whom. That only keeps the emotions stirred up, and fresh within you.

Time to make new memories, and heal.

As long as your staying in contact with her you will never heal. Your just continue to fall into her web and let with the emotions your having now.

You don't have to the answer the phone when she calls, don't you have caller ID? You don't have to open a text you receive from her. I think you it is okay that she is doing the calling and not you but you need to see how this is affecting you. Your left questioning everything and on a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

Change your number since your unable to ignore her calls.

Yeah, I understand that I should stop worrying about her and that it will just make the healing much worse. But how do I come about doing that? She is not with the guy yet, but she said she's going to find out whether she wants to be with him or not. So I find myself everyday, wanting to know what's happened and if she has found out anything. I can't just forget about her and everything I'm worried about?

yeah, i understand that i should stop worrying about her and that it will just make the healing much worse. but how do i come about doing that? she is not with the guy yet, but she said shes going to find out whether she wants to be with him or not. so i find myself everyday, wanting to know whats happened and if she has found out anything. i can't just forget about her and everything im worried about?

You are missing the point everyone has been telling you here!! Stop contacting her and disappear from her life. That is how you heal. Don't think about her anymore, keep yourself busy. Focus on other things, other people who won't leave you for someone else. Its normal to want to know what is going on but if you do, you ll just prolong your healing. Just keep busy, not much more I can say. Good Luck

- none12345

Yeah I've been keeping myself busy with school and hanging out with my friends. But in the middle of all these things, she still pops into my head. I doubt she wants to talk to me anyway, so not talking to her won't be a problem. Its just getting her out of my head...

Once you spend more time away from her eventually you ll find yourself not thinking of her as much anymore but honestly dude you are still young. I find that at the age, people aren't ready for a serious relationship or settle down yet because they want to enjoy their youth. So should you!! Stop worrying about this and one day that special someone will walk into your life.

Yeah that's the reason she broke up with me. Because she said were too young for this type of relationship. But now she's thinking about getting with a guy she's known longer than me, so it would be more serious. Hah I don't understand it at all.

Youth is <3. At this age you're so fresh and good reputation and you can mold your life into anything you want too. These emotions could block good thought. Right now you need to think about yourself and how much awesome fun you're going to have. Get busy! Life isn't made for sulkin! Every time you get a good opportunity, don't let it go. When you're looking back on your life you'll be glad when you healed and got your life back on track. I regret a lot of my past but I healed. And I met the most amazing man ever who knows how to party it up! But the point is, you got to have you some fun dude!

Totally agree fuzz

Yeah, I guess its just jelousy that's driving me towards her. Because the only thing that bothers me is that she can actually be doing a lot of stuff with another guy.

And thank you guys for helping me on this

The first time you find out your ex is sexually involved with someone, it will hurt you if you allow it too. I found out on Valentine's Day that my ex planned on sleeping with her boyfriend. She broadcast it all over the place we worked, I was too preoccupied with the gym and meeting new people to let it bother me. I wasn't about ready to let her bring my good mood down.

The first time you find out your ex is sexually involved with someone, it will hurt you if you allow it too. I found out on Valentine's Day that my ex planned on sleeping with her boyfriend. She broadcast it all over the place we worked, I was too preoccupied with the gym and meeting new people to let it bother me. I wasn't about ready to let her bring my good mood down.

Good advice rome

I know I shouldn't be calling her, but I had to. And this time she told me that she met a guy about a week ago and they talk everyday. She now is going to prom with him.

Now I find myself thinking about it all day and night. I can't get it off my mind. She has lost all interest in talking to me and is now directing all her feelings towards a guy she met a week ago.

So who told you that you can't enjoy life too? YOU CAN! It is one woman dude, not the end of the world. I know it hurts, but pick yourself up and carry on. Also, I am sure you have now learned NOT TO CALL or contact her again. See how much it sucks? I know, been there. Get busy, get active and have fun. Life only sucks when we let it.

You're in high school man, people rarely stay with their high school sweethearts for life. Say you get back with this girl and get married at 18... by the time you're 25 (if it even lasts that long) you're going to start feeling like you never got to "play the field" and you'll think to yourself "why did I get married so young???".

Good news, this future didn't happen, you can change it now! Don't sweat it, you're going to meet plenty of other women, I guarantee.

What was so important that you had to call? Fess up, you WANTED to call her.

See post#31, that was a fair warning, and now you have learned the lesson of NC, the hard way. Cheer up, we all did.

I now know that I can't ever go back. I know 100&#37; that it will just turn out to be a mistake, but now I have to get over her. She now has a boyfriend, and I find that he is what is making me think about her. I always think what they could be doing and what they have done, etc. She talked to me the other day, and I could clearly tell that she liked him very much.

How are some ways that I could just get over her? I know that is what I truly want and is best for me. So I never have to worry about her ever again.

-Thank you

Is there anyway i can help her realize that she still has many feelings for me?
any help is great.
Thanks!

No you cannot "help" her to realize anything especially when it comes to her "feelings." Feelings are hers and hers alone. You cannot change how someone feels about you when they have already made up their mind that they just don't have it for you. She may still love you, she may still think about you and I am sure that she does, but she is young and needs to explore the world out there on her own. She may not want to be in a relationship right now because she may feel limited to what else is out there and she probably doesn't want to regret ever stepping out and experiencing that. If you love her then support her as she finds herself and remain friends. But do get on with your own life and find your own joy and happiness. You are young too and there is a huge world to explore.

You need to let go and accept that things are over for good. I know it is easier said than done but give yourself time because time heals all wounds.

Right now your not even at place to be friends with her due to your feelings for her. You don't have to stand by her side to support her because you have your own life to live and is still going through the motions over her.

So give yoursqlf time and don't be to hard on yourself but whatever you do don't call her. NC is for you not her. The good thing about life is that you live and you learn so hopefully you learnt something from all of this.

Best of luck!

How are some ways that I could just get over her? I know that is what I truly want and is best for me.

Go NC. Who cares if she still wants to keep in touch, do this for YOU.

Go NC and never look back.

She talked to me the other day, and I could clearly tell that she liked him very much.

As a friend, and if you can't handle that, leave her alone. Cut the contact with her.

How are some ways that I could just get over her?
Reread your own posts, all that good advice is still there.

I know that is what I truly want and is best for me. So I never have to worry about her ever again.

Start with No Contact.