My boyfriend of 6 years broke off our relationship 4 months ago. 2 months prior to breaking it off with me, he started talking to a girl for long periods over the phone. I noticed him pulling away a couple of weeks he broke it off with me. 4 months later, he's with this person. This is a long distance relationship and he went up to visit her last month and I guess they hit it off. What is the likelihood of this being a rebound relationship and what are the chances of it working out long distance? I know he cheated on me emotionally and for some reason, I feel that this person was the reason we broke up. But he still comes around and when I ask him if he's completely over me, he says he can't answer that. When I ask him if he still loves me he can't answer that. When I ask him if he thinks there is any chance of us getting back together, he says not anytime soon. I also asked once if there was a chance in the future to get back together, he smiled and said he hopes that would happen. Should I move on?

Hi and welcome to the site.

I am thinking only of the future here... If he cheated on you once and you do get back together, he will almost certainly do it again. In my opinion, I think you would be better off to move on and find a man who you deserve. Someone who will treat you right and you can develop a strong relationship with. This one should stay in the past.

Good luck.

I agree!

It is time for YOU to move on.

Do not take this man back.

Find someone else and forget about him.

He cheated on you once, he will do it again.

Sorry to say, but it sounds like he has moved on. I think you should do the same.

Could he really have moved on after being in a 6 year relationship? 4 months is a pretty quick period to get over someone. Or is this a woman's perspective?

Well, I was in a 5 year relationship, and 4 months after she was engaged to someone new... 5 months later... she married him. I would bet this was going on while you were going out, the last few weeks he was just thinking on how to break it off. I know, it doesn't make sense, but don't try and justify his actions. It hurts, but you will find someone new. I never thought I would, and I guess I haven't yet. Its only been a year for me, but I haven't had a problem gettign a dtate yet! Chin up. Things will be fine, but you have to let go first!

Don't live in hope that your ex will want you back.
He hurt you, he cheated on you and broke your heart!

I would stay away, try not to think of him as much as you can.
Don't hold back anything because of him.

Not to be blunt but I was in a long distance relationship and now I'm married to the guy, I don't want to upset you but I'm telling you facts, sometimes things do work out, so I'm telling this to you so that you look to your future and concentrate on you only.

Thank you all for your words of advice.

I think he's keeping you around in case it doesn't work out with her. I'd move on, you deserve better.

I will make it unanamous Move on and be rid of this cheater. No contact with him no matter what he says.

Yes- move on. No contact with this guy. No phone, no e-mail, no texting, no in-person, nothing. He left you so he has to deal with the consequences of that. His present relationship doesn't sound like a healthy one and I'm sure he'll have his regrets. But that's his problem, not yours. You can't be his rescuer. Now it's time to work on yourself and be your own best friend. Do the things you like and enjoy. Meet and date new people. Make him realize that he's lost you for good. He might eventually come crawling back to you or he might not. If he does, you can decide whether you want to give him a second chance. If so then it's on your terms. If not then it's his loss.

Honey, welcome to AHMD, and if you've not already fealt it deep within you, it's over. The best thing you can do for yourself is to follow the advice of many of us who have been there... move on.

Find someone who cares for you - no matter how long it takes. He's not worth your time or energy as he's just using you as a back-up in case he crashes with his new girl. Don't wait on the sidelines any more. Make him aware that the back-up is no longer there.

Time will heal the wounds - just don't stay home and sulk.

Good luck dear, and keep us posted.

Gosh, I am so sorry you are going through this. From your post, you ask if this could be a rebound relationship. I don't see what happened to you as a rebound relationship, if he broke up with you because of this girl. It just seems like he just cheated on you while you were together. Did anything else happen between you two?

Aside from that, I don't think you should stay with this guy. I don't like how he responded to you. It looked like he wants to keep your hopes up just to make you stick around so he can have you back if things don't work out for him. I am furious for you for being treated like this after a 6 year relationship. He ought to at least be honest and respect you more.

Best of luck and stay strong.

First, he got with her pretty deeply rather quickly after he broke up with you.

Next, he is vague and mysterious about how he feels about you, and says he "hopes" you can get back together in the future, but "not anytime soon".

At the very least, he seems to be keeping something from you... What it is, I couldn't say, but people seldom keep secrets from you because they think the subject would make you happy...

I know you can move on; I hope you find someone better.

Remind yourself as you walk away that it really was his loss. Remind yourself when you find yourself missing him that this was the "him" who wants to string you along and took up with someone else just like that, a "him" who proved himself unworthy of trust and love. Remind yourself when you hear from him again how powerful the words are as you speak them: "I'm sorry, this won't work for me. Good bye." Remind yourself if you ever feel jealous of her since she "has" him that he is likely to do to her what he did to you because people like that, do that. Remind yourself when you are feeling low that you learned some lessons here (you now have a working definition of what a "heel" is!) and a wiser you will find a better boyfriend eventually, not just yet but maybe down the road. And if all else fails, get with those girlfriends who will take you out for a hot fudge sundae and remind you about all this and more!

Hola - I wouldn't want this guy back either - he broke one of the reason not tot take someone back - cheating - emotional chaeting is just as bad.