View Full Version : My independence causes problems
Claire58
Mar 9, 2009, 08:13 PM
Because I have an independent personality and I keep my problems to myself, it has caused me a lot of problems with my friends because I don't usually tell them when I'm in trouble. I just like to solve them myself. I don't mean anything against them but if I feel that I'm in control of the situation or don't need their help, I don't usually tell them and when they find out, their mad at me. So please is keeping your problems to yourself a bad thing? Advice?!
neverme
Mar 9, 2009, 08:38 PM
Well if you feel you can handle situations on your own there's nothing inherently wrong with keeping your problems to yourself.
But it can be very lonely!
And if you really could deal with everything by yourself you wouldn't be on here asking for cyber advice, advice your friends might be able to help with.
I don't think your friends are mad with you, per say, they probably just feel that they thought you were close enough to share information and feelings together.
Women, more often, feel that a friendship is a support system, through good times and bad. And if one person feels they are giving more to the friendship they may feel hard done by.
It may be kind of illogical, i.e. 'Well I still listen to them, and help them so what's the problem?'.. but in my experience that is most likely what they are feeling.
Hope this helps and makes sense.. or at least is coherent! :)
mintah50
Mar 10, 2009, 12:15 AM
Well to tell you the truth I'm kind of confused here myself because I thought telling my problems were too much for friends and love ones to handle. But I guess in some situations telling your problem to a CLOSE or Best friend can help , that what they are there for.
artlady
Mar 10, 2009, 12:26 AM
As long as you are there for them,and show compassion and help if they need it ,it is unreasonable for them to get angry because you choose to solve your own problems.
Clearly,that is who you are and hopefully it has always worked for you.
Maybe your independent nature is making them envious.
talaniman
Mar 10, 2009, 10:09 AM
You are who you are, and they are who they are, so what they feel is their problem, not yours.