jennyxhowarth
Mar 9, 2009, 01:01 PM
So I'm a teenager and I know all your emotions are up in the air, but I think mine are probably a bit too hectic
currently I feel completely left out of everything, I don't know if this is something I'm making bigger than it actually seems
but I actually am left out of what all my mates are doing(never invited out, don't have a clue what there talking about, don't seem to care) , and its really depressing, I think because of this I've lost almost all of my confidence. So don't feel like I can make new friends/ have the courage to talk to someone new without being judged/ or feel like the person I'm talking to would rather be somewhere else.
I'm such a loner, feels like nobody cares , apart from my mum who hears all this off me but I know its stressing her.
along with my problems I have my mums , the fact that I know her work is unpredictable and could be fired any moment, and gets little pay for the work she does, my dad ( who doesn't live with us and is a right bastard) is paying as low as he can for my child benefit things, my mum is always doing housework, and never sees her friends even when invited out (either too busy/ or not enough money)
I am stuck in the middle of my GCSE's and also harsh swimming training, ( 7 x 2 hrs a week) and close to national level. No matter how well I do in these things I never feel much achievement from them. And at swimming especially I feel left out, I probably say a maximum of 50 words when I'm there.
On top of this I need to get a job which just isn't happening cause I can only do Sunday work and I'm 15, too young to work. I need to make money to go on this trip to south africa , I can't wait :D but I know if I can't raise this money , my mum can't fund it, nor should she ,its my own trip
I often wonder what it would be like to just die, maybe in a horrific car accident, and look down and see if any one does care, find the people who would attend find REAL friends.
but I can't do this to myself, it would upset my mum too much and probably take her the same way. I also feel this random sense that I will be grow up to be something amazing , change the world perhaps, be a complete success. I don't understand how I can have such low confidence and not believe in myself , but also see a bright future.
I feel like I can't solve any of my problems, nor can my mum , nor can anybody else.
how can I solve how terrible I feel inside, my confidence, how I can make friends and money all at the same time as keeping mum happy and helping her and keeping good grades and swimming training up?
am I depressed perhaps? I feel like finding that out would answer a lot of questions.
all help is nice
currently I feel completely left out of everything, I don't know if this is something I'm making bigger than it actually seems
but I actually am left out of what all my mates are doing(never invited out, don't have a clue what there talking about, don't seem to care) , and its really depressing, I think because of this I've lost almost all of my confidence. So don't feel like I can make new friends/ have the courage to talk to someone new without being judged/ or feel like the person I'm talking to would rather be somewhere else.
I'm such a loner, feels like nobody cares , apart from my mum who hears all this off me but I know its stressing her.
along with my problems I have my mums , the fact that I know her work is unpredictable and could be fired any moment, and gets little pay for the work she does, my dad ( who doesn't live with us and is a right bastard) is paying as low as he can for my child benefit things, my mum is always doing housework, and never sees her friends even when invited out (either too busy/ or not enough money)
I am stuck in the middle of my GCSE's and also harsh swimming training, ( 7 x 2 hrs a week) and close to national level. No matter how well I do in these things I never feel much achievement from them. And at swimming especially I feel left out, I probably say a maximum of 50 words when I'm there.
On top of this I need to get a job which just isn't happening cause I can only do Sunday work and I'm 15, too young to work. I need to make money to go on this trip to south africa , I can't wait :D but I know if I can't raise this money , my mum can't fund it, nor should she ,its my own trip
I often wonder what it would be like to just die, maybe in a horrific car accident, and look down and see if any one does care, find the people who would attend find REAL friends.
but I can't do this to myself, it would upset my mum too much and probably take her the same way. I also feel this random sense that I will be grow up to be something amazing , change the world perhaps, be a complete success. I don't understand how I can have such low confidence and not believe in myself , but also see a bright future.
I feel like I can't solve any of my problems, nor can my mum , nor can anybody else.
how can I solve how terrible I feel inside, my confidence, how I can make friends and money all at the same time as keeping mum happy and helping her and keeping good grades and swimming training up?
am I depressed perhaps? I feel like finding that out would answer a lot of questions.
all help is nice