My husbands mother has been an active part of our lives from the day I met her. Her son never went to church so she made sure I was good enough for him, although I had already been going to church before I met him. She monitored our lives on a daily basis and every Sunday for the past 21 yrs of our marriage she has made dinner for us... against our will. It got to the point where my husband had learned to lean on her for her controlling ways. She made it "easy" for him... and then he started depending on her for money loans, which he ALWAYS paid her back. She followed us from one city to another and is now living in an apartment which she is not happy with and keeps saying she want to buy a house. We tried helping her buy a house but she kept bidding too low and lost it. Now she feels she still wants to buy a house, but she still thinks she can bid low. A real estate agent told me she is just playing with us... and she wants to tire us out with woe until we ask her to live with us.

I don't like cooking for them because they make fun and don't appreciate it... and only do it when he threatens me and I try to avoid her often. I cook for my husband every night, but he makes fun of my food and says you know I have to lose weight.

His mom buys me things, and I keep buying her things in return. She is has controlled me to the point where I can't even go to my own house of worship with my husband... he finally found a place of worship and I do not resonate with it at all. The place I found she does not like and now the two of them go to church together and I can't go.


Here's the big clincher... she has another son who is 1 yr younger than my husband but he is sczophrenic. He got like that from some bad cocain or angel dust some 30 yrs ago... and all he does is smoke tons of cigarettes and has to take serious medication to keep him stable.

I feel like I am sufficating and often feel like I am dying. My husband won't go on any anti depressant pills and wants me to go on them. I want to hop a train or bus and run away. I went to a counsler once, and spend tons of money and lost my father, my job, my mother and 1 cat. He only lost his father... from cancer.

I am not working now, of course... and like I said I refuse to cook for them on holidays, and they make shame ful overtures towards me.

There is so much more... she came into our first house and painted and took complete control over the whole house décor and furniture. When we bought a futon, she made fun of us.

What must I do to to save my marriage. My husband says I do not turn him on... and he is always too tired to take me anywhere.

I want to go away for a few months. Or years, just to get away from them. What do you think?

Thanks, some one please add some help and advise

This does sound like its reaching it's breaking point, I would say offer marriage counseling for the two of you, without the mother. If he is not willing to do this, then go yourself and see what the counselor says. If nothing productive comes up, then see a lawyer for possible options.

This does sound like its reaching it's breaking point, I would say offer marriage counseling for the two of you, without the mother. If he is not willing to do this, then go yourself and see what the counselor says. If nothing productive comes up, then see a lawyer for possible options.

I told my husband the options you listed... it definitely made him think. As long as I steer clear of subjects that cause us to fight, things around here are working out fine.

You need a vacation, but be more reasonable than taking years. When was the last time you had one?

Your mother-in-law really has taken over your marriage but it's never too late to gain back the control. Maybe she needs her own life, hobby, friends,etc However in order to stand up to her your husband needs to stand by your side so the two of you can battle her together but I doubt he is going do that.

He has a lot of nerves not appreciating your cooking becauase I wouldn't cook for him let alone sleep in the same bed with him especially since he's siding with his mom. Time for him to stop being a mama's boy and be a man and husband to you.

The real estate broker is right on target with what she told you. The mom is trying to move in with you and your husband don't let her.

Let me ask you something "Has your husband ever stand up aganist her and do you've children"?

He's a mama's boy and makes fun of your cooking, ridicules you for being too heavy, and seems very disrespectful. I'd say get out.

Your mother-in-law really has taken over your marriage but it's never too late to gain back the control. Maybe she needs her own life, hobby, friends,etc However in order to stand up to her your husband needs to stand by your side so the two of you can battle her together but I doubt he is going do that.

He has alot of nerves not appreciating your cooking becauase I wouldn't cook for him let alone sleep in the same bed with him especially since he's siding with his mom. Time for him to stop being a mama's boy and be a man and husband to you.

The real estate broker is right on target with what she told you. The mom is trying to move in with you and your husband don't let her.

Let me ask you something "Has your husband ever stand up aganist her and do you've children"?

He has tried telling her many times, but she has lost her mind. She is going to end up in a nursing home if she doesn't listen to reason. I have been praying for her, seriously... like putting this prayer request in my bible. There is a God, and he is on my side. No one should come between some one's marriage, ever, its in the bible.