dincher
Mar 7, 2009, 11:52 AM
I read on this forum how someone here was heartbroken because her best friend dumped her, so I decided to write about my experience:
My husband suddenly left and divorced me about 4 years ago, and I was in such a depression that I honestly couldn't function. I loved my ex husband - thought he was honestly my soulmate. Point is that I fell into such a depression that no one was able to make me happy.
That was until I met a friend online (Jen) on a divorce forum who had the same thing happen to her. Her hubby left her a while back, however she was recovered and was only on the forum to assist people who had gone through the same as her. Needless to say, she had the same circumstances as I do: No children, same kind of work, same likes etc. The connection between us and our likes were so amazing that we called each other soul sisters. However, we couldn't meet during those four years
Well, to make a long story short, we both hit it off very well, exchanged phone numbers, called each other on occasion, even gave each other christmas and birthday presents mailed from overseas. This had been going on for about 4 years, until I started to notice that she just started to drift off slowly but surely.
Things that she would do, or better yet wouldnt' do, is participate in my online forum, which she had been doing consistently for the four years. Jen just stopped commenting and even logging on to my site.
When I asked her about it, she just shrugged it off and basically told me that I am being insecure. So I left it at that as I didn't want to seem insecure.
One day, someone insulted me on Facebook, and I got angry with that person. The person is in the same faith as I am (and even Jen), so I felt comfortable telling Jen about the situation. Well lo and behold, directly the next day, Jen becomes friends with the person who insulted me on Facebook.
When I called Jen on it, she basically got upset with me and told me that I am doubting her friendship and being insecure. She told me that she didn't seek him out, that he sought out her friendship invite and that since she's trying to apply her faith, she just didn't want any problems. She apologized for making me feel bad, but not for the act of become his friend. In fact, she told me that she's not interested in being in any online group or click. I wondered how we are an online clique??
But worse, I still couldn't believe she'd accept his friendship directly the next day after he insulted me. It's just the principle - how can she become friends with someone who insulted me after I told her about my situation with him? Or maybe I'm being too demanding? :confused:
The truth is that I'm beginning to feel such a distance between her and myself - it's like the beginnng of a lost friendship. I told her kiddingly one day that since I'm not a masochist, I'd leave the friendships of those people who begin to show a lack of interest. She asked, "What's wrong???" I said oh nothing (since I'm not going to get into that insecurity conversation anymore).
So, I'm wondering - should I just let this person go. I'm tired of chasing after that person. I'm the one who always has to initiate conversation, and even though she responds very well, as in she tells me about her day, etc, I'm just tired of being the one who looks for her all the time. It strains to be a one way street. I'm also wondering why she'd become so distant and then suddenly. I really don't want to ask her that question as I don't want to be burdened with the "insecurity" lecture.
My husband suddenly left and divorced me about 4 years ago, and I was in such a depression that I honestly couldn't function. I loved my ex husband - thought he was honestly my soulmate. Point is that I fell into such a depression that no one was able to make me happy.
That was until I met a friend online (Jen) on a divorce forum who had the same thing happen to her. Her hubby left her a while back, however she was recovered and was only on the forum to assist people who had gone through the same as her. Needless to say, she had the same circumstances as I do: No children, same kind of work, same likes etc. The connection between us and our likes were so amazing that we called each other soul sisters. However, we couldn't meet during those four years
Well, to make a long story short, we both hit it off very well, exchanged phone numbers, called each other on occasion, even gave each other christmas and birthday presents mailed from overseas. This had been going on for about 4 years, until I started to notice that she just started to drift off slowly but surely.
Things that she would do, or better yet wouldnt' do, is participate in my online forum, which she had been doing consistently for the four years. Jen just stopped commenting and even logging on to my site.
When I asked her about it, she just shrugged it off and basically told me that I am being insecure. So I left it at that as I didn't want to seem insecure.
One day, someone insulted me on Facebook, and I got angry with that person. The person is in the same faith as I am (and even Jen), so I felt comfortable telling Jen about the situation. Well lo and behold, directly the next day, Jen becomes friends with the person who insulted me on Facebook.
When I called Jen on it, she basically got upset with me and told me that I am doubting her friendship and being insecure. She told me that she didn't seek him out, that he sought out her friendship invite and that since she's trying to apply her faith, she just didn't want any problems. She apologized for making me feel bad, but not for the act of become his friend. In fact, she told me that she's not interested in being in any online group or click. I wondered how we are an online clique??
But worse, I still couldn't believe she'd accept his friendship directly the next day after he insulted me. It's just the principle - how can she become friends with someone who insulted me after I told her about my situation with him? Or maybe I'm being too demanding? :confused:
The truth is that I'm beginning to feel such a distance between her and myself - it's like the beginnng of a lost friendship. I told her kiddingly one day that since I'm not a masochist, I'd leave the friendships of those people who begin to show a lack of interest. She asked, "What's wrong???" I said oh nothing (since I'm not going to get into that insecurity conversation anymore).
So, I'm wondering - should I just let this person go. I'm tired of chasing after that person. I'm the one who always has to initiate conversation, and even though she responds very well, as in she tells me about her day, etc, I'm just tired of being the one who looks for her all the time. It strains to be a one way street. I'm also wondering why she'd become so distant and then suddenly. I really don't want to ask her that question as I don't want to be burdened with the "insecurity" lecture.