My baby's father has not done nothing to help me in the past 18 months of my child's life and all he does is give me grief and put me down, he hasn't held a job, he puts everything else except his son as his priorities, I never let him take my son alone because I don't trust him because He utilizes marijuana and has a temper problem (he is actually on bipolar meds right now), I would let him come over every other weekend to visit but he just tries to get too involved in my personal life and has no respect to anything I say, he is always threatening if I have another man around my son and what not, He has scared the baby a couple of times by his actions towards me in my house, In July of 2008 I stopped letting him see him for a couple of months because I couldn't take it anymore, He started showing up at my house starting drama and I took him to court for an injunction and they didn't grant me the injunction, I started letting him see him again after about 4 months (thinking that he would change, because we had a long talk), Now I see that he is not, he is still on the same old and now he is showing up at my house all the time and I have made two police reports, but I don't want to waste my time going to court if they are not going to give me the restraining order, He also has two pending charges which are grand theft of a firearm and dealing in stolen property, would this help the case at all If I was to go to court? I just want the best for my son and I don't feel that he will do any good in my sons life, but I also don't want to regret anything in the future, I am desperate for some advice and help, thanks.

You have to keep going back to Court until you get a restraining order IF the father is a dnager to you and/or the child. If he is unfit, then you need to go to Court and get sole custody. Soemtimes you have to knock on a lot of doors.

Was he a violent, bipolar, marijuana using person when you were having unprotected sex with him or did this start after the baby was born? That may be why the Court is not taking you seriously.

He was, but once I got pregnant I refrained from him and I gave him chances because he always tried to prove how he was going to change, but He really isn't, its been too long, and I am sick and tired of it, well actually we are not married, never were, so does he have rights?

Yes, he has rights, but you need to go to court to get a court order for him to exercise his rights.

You should have found this out when you found out you were pregnant.

Now you need to go court and establish custody and support orders. You can also setup supervised visitation or block visitation entirely (given his history),

Yes, first no babies father is going to want to visit the chid at the mothers house all the time, esp if there are new boyfriend, merely asking him to do this is just asking for trouble.

There are secure places in most areas for court ordered supervised visists where a 3rd party is there to supervise any visists.

So you need to get official court orders, with official court child support

Thanks, Yeah I just feel like he is trying to be involved in my life more than he is of his child's and plus he doesn't show a love a father would to a child I just don't see it.

It's going to come down to whether he's a danger to the child, not whether he shows appropriate love for the child. Apparently you have moved on and he has not but that's another issue.

Yes I feel he is a danger that's why I don't leave my son with him.

Yes I feel he is a danger that's why I don't leave my son with him.


Go to Court, prove he's a danger, get visitation stopped.

So If I do prove he is a danger, they will not allow him near my son correct, and him having pending charges will help prove it ?

So If I do prove he is a danger, they will not allow him near my son correct, and him having pending charges will help prove it ?


That's it, yes. Make sure your proof is clear, concise, no question. You sound really together on this but you still have to make sure you aren't making wild accusations. You also MUST come across as someone interested in her child, not interested in revenge, getting even.

As I said - you make a good impression. You'll do fine as long as you don't let yourself get rattled. The truth is what it is and your first concern must be the child (as it is).

You have to convince the Judge that this were his/her child, he/she would NOT want the father in the child's life OR having unsupervised visitation with the father.

Right, right, he always thinks its about me getting revenge, but it really is not, I have been nothing but generous to him to give him the privelage of being a father to his son despite everything he has done/does, but I am just tired of going through the same old crap, my son doesn't need someone who will put a bad example and lead him down the wrong path and I will never trust him alone with my son, and I feel I shouldn't have to let him under my roof and put up with his disrespect because he doesn't understand why I don't let him take him with him, he says I have no reason not to, which is bs because he knows very well what he has done, I also have text messages of him apologizing to me and admitting to everything he has done, how he hasn't been a father to his child.

right, right, he always thinks its about me getting revenge, but it really is not, i have been nothing but generous to him to give him the privelage of being a father to his son despite everything he has done/does, but i am just tired of going through the same old crap, my son doesn't need someone who will put a bad example and lead him down the wrong path and i will never trust him alone with my son, and i feel i shouldnt have to let him under my roof and put up with his disrespect because he doesn't understand why i don't let him take him with him, he says i have no reason not to, which is bs because he knows very well what he has done, i also have text messages of him apologizing to me and admitting to everything he has done, how he hasn't been a father to his child.


Just keep on keeping your cool and express yourself exactly the way you have here. You'll be just fine.

Thanks