So after a 2 year relationship with a man I thought was the love of my life, I get the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" line (over the phone no less). He also feels the need to tell me he thinks I am "no longer the love of his life". When I asked why he was just days before talking about future plans of marriage and kids his only response was he was confused, and that it so gradually hit him. All of this ended with a big slap in the face that was so cruelly dealt upon me with the words , "throw my stuff away I don't want to see you".

He has kept me compartmentalized throughout the relationship using his cultural background as an excuse (he was korean, I'm not). I couldn't meet his family, he had work friends but he didn't ever tell them he had a girlfriend nor did he ever introduce me to any of them. I asked him if he thought maybe that was a factor into him "falling out of love with me" but he said he only acted that way when realized he wasn't in love anymore. But, of course if he could love anyone in his whole life it would be me (direct quote) Whatever that means. Why would you feel the need to proclaim that to someone whose heart you're breaking??

Am I the only hopeless romantic that believes that if you love someone you can't fall out of love with them?

Take the hint that his feeling were never as strong as yours.

Am I the only hopeless romantic that believes that if you love someone you can't fall out of love with them?
Feelings change for whatever reason all the time. You may have thought his feelings matched yours, but they didn't.

Nope, feelings change. Change is the only thing that's constant, sometimes for the good sometimes for the bad.

Threads merged

Okay so y boyfriend and I broke up on Tuesday. I stupidly wrote him an e-mail that night asking if maybe we could meet up at a neutral place to see each other and how I wish we could still be friends (yeah I had a bit to drink). He has yet to respond to my e-mail :( And yeah I felt really stupid after that so have tried my hardest to keep the no contact thing in my head. But every minute that I'm awake I fight the urge to call him or text him. It's almost un natural feeling that I can't just pick up the phone and expect to hear his voice. Soo... I know it's different for every person but, how long does it take to get rid of that over whelming urge just to say screw it all and call him?

It takes as long as it takes, period. You can have the generic, "Two months for every year," or whatever, but that doesn't apply to everyone. The more you build a life that revolves around YOUR happiness, the less time it takes... but applying a guideline to this is unrealistic...

Yea I guess so. I don't know this was my first real relationship and my first heartbreaking break up. So I don't really have anything to base it upon and right now I just don't have any idea how I won't ever feel that way.

It sucks... no doubt about it, but it is well worth it. This experience is a MUST to go through in life, as it has a truly profound impact on your future. Good luck!

Read the stickies at the top, NC is a long process but you learn to appreciate it's rewards