BF Requested space but a day later is contacting me
I have been seeing this guy for about 4 months (2 months ago he asked me to be his girlfriend) and things were great we had no issues-we were always in contact with each other. On Feb 12th I was out with friends drinking and eating. On the way home I sent this text "I wish we lived together" because I was in the mood to have some one on one time with him and was miles away. The text was sent late so I didn't expect a response and I was joking. IT WAS A DRUNKEN TXT MSG...THAT WAS MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. The next morning(2-13) we did our daily text good morning and he told me he wasn't feeling well and that he was going to go home straight after work. (this week was a long and stressful week for him in terms of his job and issues with his car). I thought nothing of it because he said he would spend valentines day with me. I said OK and I didn't hear from him the rest of the night. I called him in the morning (2-14) because I just found out that one of my students died and wanted to let him no what happened. Basically for the entire valentines day he made no effort to communicate with me (phone went fr. Being on to off). I have never had any red flags that he might be cheating. I got scared thinking something happened to him because we have never not communicated w/ each other from the time we met). I called his cousin and parents between Saturday(valentines day) and Sunday to see where he was and of course no one knew. Finally I hear from him and he tells me he is all right but we need to talk because he is going through alot(text msg). I asked him what was he going through and he really wouldn't tell me... I know he was having issues with his job in which he really messed up, car issues and paying for his masters by himself, but he never really made a big deal out of any of those issues. Every time I asked what exactly is going on and lets talk about it he says he can't talk about it(he said he is not good with communication). Long story short, we meet up to talk (Wednesday) and says he is going through a lot and that I just don't understand he is going through a lot and he needs time.. meanwhile not explicitly telling me what he is truly going through so I can offer some help or at least a listening ear. He also says he feel like he is not doing enough for me and that he feels like he has to perform for me and he don't know if he can. (I didn't complain about the state of our relationship because I thought things were fine). I express to him that if he needs space then we shouldn't talk at all and he seem to be truly bothered by that comment. The problem is for two days (valentines day weekend) he did not call or text me at all, which is totally weird because he has never acted this way before. I am bothered because I thought we were good in terms of communication and besides two days before valentines he had sent flowers to my job and then he treats me so harshly on V-day weekend. After V-day he resurfaced and it is just weird. Now that we went out to talk(Wednesday) and he tells me that he is going through a lot and he needs space he is now calling and texting me asking me how I'm doing and asking me what I'm doing. He is acting as though what he did to me on valentines day weekend did not happened.(He did appologize for what he did though). Im so confused because if he wants space why is he still communicating with me? Because he is going through a lot I keep asking him to open up to me as to what is bothering him and he won't. I tell him that I care about him so please let me in so we can get through his rough time together. Nothing makes sense- please help. What do I do?

He either wants the best of both worlds. Alone when he wants, with somebody
( you) when he wants, Often that means he wants to be friends with no strings
But benefits usually until they find somebody else to fill your place.
Or he is having a hard time detaching emotionally from the relationship.
Either case
You need to tell him that emotionally you are not strong enough to separate and process these on again off again things he is putting you through so you need him to quit contacting you at all even just to ask how you are doing. The how you are doing is just an excuse to get his foot in the door. Once he finds someone else he won't be calling to ask how you are doing unless maybe he is looking to cheat on her.
Tell him to stop all contact.

"I wish we lived together"

That might have jolted him a bit, and probably needed some time to think about it. He's probably feeling smothered at this point, especially with all the things going on in his life. He will communicate with you when he's ready, some people don't want their problems laid out on someone else. He probably feels he needs to solve these issues on his own rather than get you involved.

I must have skipped a line I missed that she told him she wished they lived together, Yeah that will make most guys back away and guys that do want to live together only a few months into the relationship are not worth it. They are usually looking for a mother figure to take care of them

Thanks for responding heartbroke and NOhelp4u. As far as the whole thing about is living together it was a drunken text message that was sent because I was in the mood for some tlc and didn't want to go to bed alone that night if you get my drift. I thought it was harmless and he knew I was drunk so I felt he shouldn't have taken it seriously. Nohelp4u he somewhat expressed to me that he didn't want to drag me through his issues. So I guess your right? Im just confused about how I should towards him and if things are repairable

I went through this with my ex girlfriend, who broke up with me 1 month ago and I'm still not over her, he sounds just like her. Everything is fine and dandy one day, then all of a sudden,BAM they are acting out of character, weird and distant. The thing I didn't do was give her time and space. Because I didn't, she ended up feeling smothered and broke it off with me. So just back off and continue going about your days. He will eventually turn to you. When he contacts you keep it short and simple. Ya it was a DRUNKEN TEXT MSG, the point is he still got it.

He has some issues, and what stands out is his unwillingness to communicate, so you can understand what he is going through.

My advise is to tell him if he is afraid, or unable to express himself honestly, and candidly, you have no wish to waste your time guessing whats on his mind.

If that won't jolt some reality into him, you have to stop wasting time on disrespectful behavior, and mindless small talk!

No communications, no relationship.