My partner wants time to think, I did something she thought was very bad and now can't believe me that it was only out of curiosity I did it. I looked at a wink from a dating site that we originally met on. She thinks I am still looking although have not been subscribed since we met 11 months ago, I just did not delete my profile.
We were so devoted to each other I even saw her through her pregnancy and have had 4 months with her son, (from another man). Total devotion I gave her just to seemingly ruin it by doing what I did.
Any advice would be appreciated as she wants time to think etc etc, what does this mean with a woman?

This is not all your fault, as it seems she over reacted, but delete the account any way, and hope she comes to her senses. Leave her alone for a while, and give the emotional dust a chance to settle.

Maybe its just me but I feel like women need time to think "alone" because the men in their lives cloud their judgement with the feelings involved. So being alone allows them to focus more on the problem at hand.

Good point. But I think the problem has dissolved a little, now as I got three e-mails yesterday on "nothing really" just free stuff going on a web site I might be intrested in and that she was going to beach and would be in "touch in the near future".
I am having to be very strong not to message or anything at the moment and everything I see seems to make me think of her.

Everything reminds me of my ex, and I still love her and want to be with her. Everything from my clothes, my car, the bars around here, the TV shows I watch. I made a decision to do volunteer work for a month in the Caribbean to get away from everything here. She needs to clear her head, why not do the same by taking a little trip or hanging out with the guys?

It is hard to stop yourself from contacting her, but let her have her time to think for now. She doesn't seem like she is going to cut off contact, so just leave it for the time being as she's asked.

I'm thinking that since she was likely in a bad relationship with her baby's father, that she picks up on the little things, because she doesn't want to be hurt like she was before.

Just give her some time, and when she comes back around, show her that you have deleted your account, and that the only one you are interested in is her.

Everything reminds me of my ex, and i stil love her and want to be with her. Everything from my clothes, my car, the bars around here, the tv shows i watch. I made a decision to do volunteer work for a month in the Caribbean to get away from everything here. She needs to clear her head, why not do the same by taking a little trip or hanging out with the guys?
Did you do anything to try to win her back and was it appreciated or just thrown out of the water. I have devoted my last 11 months to her and her new child, she has said recently that she has never met someone as caring as me every and so devoted especially to someone else's child (4 months old, work that on out) and that I did everything I could to make things perfect for them for so long.
I am going nuts here...

I tried everything. For now she just wasn't willing to work it out like me. I pleaded, begged, showed up drunk, gave her flowers. I did everything that I shouldn't have done for 3 weeks, and all it did was push her away. It ended with a bad text from her last week saying she didn't accept my apology, I'm out of control and that this is done and I have completely turned her off. She hasn't talked to me since. If I had stumbled upon this site 1 month ago, and taken the advice of giving her the space that she needed, id probably be waking up at her house right now. The last thing I told her was that I respected her decision and am supportive of her actions. She's pretty much erased me from her life, but I treated her with so much respect, love and care I'm confident that she will come back around despite what happened. If not, Oh well her loss. Im a great guy, she told me that, and all her friends were jealous she had a well rounded guy like me. But if you did all that you say you have done. She has probably acknowlegded that. Just be patient and don't make the same mistake like I did and try to pressure her into giving you answers.

Did you do anything to try to win her back and was it appreciated or just thrown out of the water. I have devoted my last 11 months to her and her new child, she has said recently that she has never met someone as caring as me every and so devoted especially to someone elses child (4 months old, work that on out) and that I did everything I could to make things perfect for them for so long.
I am going nuts here..........

Listen to what "heartbroke" just said. Try and do something to keep yourself busy. Don't make yourself crazy over this. This will not help you. I don't know what your interests or hobbies are, but go to the gym, go out with some friends who are supportive, read a good book, invite some buddies over and watch a movie! Anything you can do right now that is a distraction. Going out to a bar and getting drunk is not likely a good idea, because as "heartbroke" mentioned, only got him in more trouble. Your feelings are elevated, and you don't have as much control as you do when you're sober. Just don't call her right now. I know the minutes tick by like hrs. but if you call and screw it up, those single minutes will seem like days.

Listen to what "heartbroke" just said. Try and do something to keep yourself busy. Don't make yourself crazy over this. This will not help you. I don't know what your interests or hobbies are, but go to the gym, go out with some friends who are supportive, read a good book, invite some buddies over and watch a movie! Anything you can do right now that is a distraction. Going out to a bar and getting drunk is not likely a good idea, because as "heartbroke" mentioned, only got him in more trouble. Your feelings are elevated, and you don't have as much control as you do when you're sober. Just don't call her right now. I know the minutes tick by like hrs., but if you call and screw it up, those single minutes will seem like days.
I am in a rock covers band and its practice day tomorrow so that will be good. DVD tonight is what I planned anyway and I am not going to pressurise her as I have said all from my heart I can muster anyway. She said 2 weeks, only one to go now. Thanks for the tips, if you want check out our web site Eclipse Home (http://www.eclipse-rockcovers.eu) I made the site, my first so see what you think. Thanks

Yea drinking is a no no. All it does is give you idiotic liquid confidence. I said the dumbest things that didn't make sense, only to upset her more. Plus it makes you over analyze things. These days are still long and agonizing. I lost 18lbs. I didn't do it to myself, I just lost my appetite. But I've been feeling better because of what I have coming for me. 1 month of sun and beach with an estranged family. Vent out here, talk it out with people and in between that keep yourself busy. Rent a whole dvd season series if you have to. I don't have work till spring. So my days are really long. If you initiate contact, she will feel like she has to start her thinking process over without being disturbed. Think of it as solving a complex math problem. If she's in the middle of solving it and you interrupt her with a "hello'', she's going to be pissed off and have to start over again, making this process longer.

I am in a rock covers band and its practice day tomorrow so that will be good. DVD tonight is what I planned anyway and I am not going to pressurise her as I have said all from my heart I can muster anyway. She said 2 weeks, only one to go now. Thanks for the tips, if you want check out our web site Eclipse Home (http://www.eclipse-rockcovers.eu) I made the site, my first so see what you think. Thanks

I want to hear the tunes! I can't click on anything where I can listen. I would love to hear it! My Dad owned one of the biggest music stores in Canada, and my whole family has been centered around music all of our lives. My brother is in a really cool band. His website is www.coldshotband.ca

Can you tell me how I can listen to your music? Did I miss something I can click on?

Edit: Sorry, I don't know why the website is bringing up something else.

I want to hear the tunes! I can't click on anything where I can listen. I would love to hear it! My Dad owned one of the biggest music stores in Canada, and my whole family has been centered around music all of our lives. My brother is in a really cool band. His website is www.coldshotband.ca

Can you tell me how I can listen to your music? Did I miss something I can click on?

Edit: Sorry, I don't know why the website is bringing up something else.
Go to the demos/recordings page 4 tracks on there via Windows Media Player...

go to the demos/recordings page 4 tracks on there via Windows Media Player.......
Can't connect to your brothers site either, maybe type address in direct, wubulu wubulu wubulu dot eclipse minus rockcovers dot eu

cant connect to your brothers site either, maybe type address in direct, wubulu wubulu wubulu dot eclipse minus rockcovers dot eu

Whoa, I was listening to your music and my computer completely crashed!

Whoa, I was listening to your music and my computer completely crashed!
What did you think before that happened, obviously working again now...

what did you think before that happened, obviously working again now......

It took me a while to view. I don't know what happened. I loved it! I think you guys are great! Some very good cover songs. I was surprised to see that Chris Rea sang that one song. I remember an old 70's song of his. I hope you get a lot of gigs! ;) What is your part in the band?

It took me a while to view. I don't know what happened. I loved it! I think you guys are great! Some very good cover songs. I was surprised to see that Chris Rea sang that one song. I remember an old 70's song of his. I hope you get alot of gigs! ;) What is your part in the band?
I am the bass player. We never stopped last year. This year is a bot slow so far but it will pick up again. Do you play at all?

I am the bass player. We never stopped last year. This year is a bot slow so far but it will pick up again. Do you play at all?

I play keyboards. Haven't played in awhile though. My bro plays anything you hand him, and all by ear. He's the drummer in his band, and also sings and plays keyboards, and picks up the bass, acoustic, or electric, depending on the song. They are country rock, with the emphasis on rock/alternative a lot of times. I looked at the drum kit in the pics. You would absolutely looove my bro's drum kit. ;)

Edit: My Dad has one of the very first Fender Strats that was ever made, sent to him as a gift from Fender.

My partner who loved me dearly and I her, wants time to think after a mistake I made. I think this has now dissolved into "what happened" and she has asked for two weeks to think. The sends 3 mails about nothing really. I want to respond but she has asked me not to. Why if she wants time to think things over has she done this...

What was your mistake?

Did you spill a glass of milk?

Or sleep with another girl? More details would be just ideal thanks

what was your mistake?

did you spill a glass of milk?

or sleep with another girl? more details would be just ideal thanks
I had an e-mail from a dating site I was registered on once, where I met her 11 months ago. I opened it "just to look" as you do (she doesn't see it that way) apparently I am still looking etc etc. I left my account open as I really did not have anything to hide but she didn't see it that way. Story is I met her when she was 3 months pregnant and saw her through and helped bring up little'un who is now 4 months old and adoreable. We were really very close until 2 weeks ago when it happened, how after showing so much dedication can such a thing turn the tables...

Women are emotional, when we see that you're still signed up to a dating site our automatic thought is "hmm, he's still looking".

Forgetting to sign off the site and actually looking to see what's new, those are two very different things.

She just had a baby, you two haven't been together long, this is an emotional time, a conflicting time, by "just looking" at the site, you unconciously confirmed her fears that you aren't happy with the relationship, that you're still looking for something better.

Give her the two weeks, then tell her how you feel. Remember, she just had a baby, is probably very hormonal, uncertain, and a bit scared.

Try and see this from her point of view. How would you feel if she was a member of a dating site and checking it out on a regular basis?

I had an e-mail from a dating site I was registered on once, where I met her 11 months ago. I opened it "just to look" as you do (she doesnt see it that way) apparantly I am still looking etc etc. I left my account open as I really did not have anything to hide but she didnt see it that way. Story is I met her when she was 3 months pregnant and saw her through and helped bring up little'un who is now 4 months old and adoreable. We were really very close until 2 weeks ago when it happened, how after showing so much dedication can such a thing turn the tables....
She saw from the account that I had not beedn a paying member for 9 months as she wasn't also, it was in black and white, even showed her my credit card and bank statements. I had no intentions of wanting anything else. I met her when she was pregnant with someone else's baby, but thought so much of her and her lovely ways that was enough for me. Even present at the birth and can now change a nappy and feed him and am the expert at putting him to sleep

Like I said, don't give up. I've had two kids, the hormones and emotions afterwards can really mess with your mind. Let her know how you feel, but first give her the time she requested.

She's probably emailing you to let you know that she is okay. Or just getting stuff off her mind through emails. Keep up what you're doing.

I think Alty's right, there are a lot of changes going on in her body. Just give her her time and I'm sure it will sort itself out.

Keep u the reassurance and attention when you can.

Best of Luck.

I think Alty's right, there are alot of changes going on in her body. Just give her her time and I'm sure it will sort itself out.

Keep u the reassurance and attention when you can.

Best of Luck.
Thanks for all the confidence. This is so hard I have never been in this state before ever. I am 47 she is 31, I adore her very much. How easy would it be for her to want me back even after the thinking time she requested. I know it would be hard for me as I expect her family and friends will be on her side and will no doubt be saying things like, don't be silly girl, he did it once and will do it again etc etc

Shes probably emailing you to let you know that she is okay. Or just getting stuff off her mind through emails. Keep up what youre doing.
That's what I hoped for, but also hoping that she just wanted to have a little contact, I did reply with a very short have a nice time at the beach... lucky

Like I said, don't give up. I've had two kids, the hormones and emotions afterwards can really mess with your mind. Let her know how you feel, but first give her the time she requested.
How then would you have liked your mind to be eased. I have told her how I feel bigger and better then I have ever done so before, I hope she knows, but if there is more then how? I will give her her time but when our time comes I want to be spot on with my actions and not mess it all up again

How then would you have liked your mind to be eased. I have told her how I feel bigger and better then I have ever done so before, I hope she knows, but if there is more then how? I will give her her time but when our time comes I want to be spot on with my actions and not mess it all up again

I can't give you a step by step list of things to do and say that will work. Every women is different, every man is different, every situation is different.

You know her better than we do, only you can figure out what to say to her and how and when to say it.

Sorry, I wish I could be more help.

Good luck.

I don't think you really did anything to mess it up in the first place. Relationships need to be built on trust. If it doesn't take much to get herto walk away then perhaps your foundation is cracked. My thoughts are these... some problems we take on as if they are ours. This problem perhaps is hers and you should really allow her the time to work it out. If not worked out then it is more of a good thing for you than a bad thing. Take the time to be good to you. You'll be okay.

She is very spiritual and thinks things really deep, that is what I love about her as she too puts my mind at total ease. She has been hurt in the past and I can understand that but all we went through together was very very strong, I could have walked away when she told me she was pregnant but did noit and we went through an awful lot together as we didn't really know what to do etc etc. We learned together and she has a wonderful little boy who is as easy as pie to lookafter, never crys, sleeps through after only 2 months and giggles all the time. I just don't understand why she would want to throw me away if that's what it comes to.

She very well may be a very deep thinker which makes it easier for her to make it your problem instead of hers. If it wasn't the visit to the website than perhaps it would have been something else. She could also be trying to take time to think which could easily translate to I need room to figure a few things out.. which she does. She has a child with another man and is currently "playing house" with another. There are a few hearts here that can get broken if things aren't planned or played out properly. Time goes on and kids grow fast. Understand, she needs this time and if you continue to push you will end up losing out. If you can't give her the time now, it will equate to her in the end that you don't care. I'm not saying you don't care, but if she had a headache you would keep it down so she could rest. She has a lot to think about, more than likely people to contact (the babies daddy) and she has things that she has to deal with before she can continue her relationship and that babies relationship with you. Take the time now, it will be much less painful now than it will be or could be in the future. Fast forward a few years and imagine a child's father coming into the picture and nothing has been attempted or dealt with? Better now than later. Breathe

Hmmm, not so sure, the babies father got married a month ago and she was good about it, she nave had feelings for him in anyway it just happened so to say, I believe her, even had his fiancée over with him to see Leon for the first time when sorting maintenance out. He pays maintenance etc and has no feelings for him I am sure. There is nothing else I can think of she is wondering about. She has said 2 weeks that ends Saturday so do I contact her or wait. If I do what would be a good thing to start thngs going again, I am so scared of getting it wrong. I so wanted to send a how are you text today but haven't, then again thought she might think, huh, hasn't even asked how I am doing... or I told you I wanted space etc etc

You need to stop your mental torture. You are going bananna's. Please take care of you. What I think you should do is follow your heart along with your head. You thought about it and decided not to because she asked you for space. You get it. Wait until Saturday, text her then and let her know how you miss her and that you are ready when she is. That you haven't stopped loving her and you are anxiously waiting to speak. In the mean time go for a walk. Or you could always PRAY

So any updates faustus? What has time done for you?