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View Full Version : What should I do? How do I fix everything? How do I get him back?


revolrcm
Feb 19, 2009, 01:06 PM
Okay this is my first post so please just bare with me and any in site or help any of you can supply me would be extremely helpful.

All right, well, I guess I'll start at the beginning.

I met this guy, at my workplace this past summer.
We talked out of work every night until the sun came up just to then sleep for the next 4 hours and then met up at work again.
After about a week or two of that, we went to a party together [which he invited me to] and we ended up making out. All right, that was that.
From there we ended up spending a lot of time together and from there a relationship blossomed.

During this time of our relationship, we honestly couldn't of gotten along any better.
We were in love, and both of us saw this, you can even ask him that today and he'll still say we where in love.

Eventually we got to the point where we were talking of our futures together.
Now I know, I know, it was really soon to be thinking this like that, but what can I say, we really honestly, truly where in love. I don't know what else to tell you.

All right, from there, eventually he got extremely busy and stressed with school and we stopped talking so much. Longer story short, he sent me a text saying "We need to talk." and he broke up with me. -- That was a Monday.

That weekend we saw each other and he was rather flirty and eventually, later that night, it ended with sex. -- Go figure.

From then on we continued having a relationship like that for about the next week or two and then I turned to him and said "If you care for me enough, there's no reason you can't be with me and until you make up your mind, we need to stop what we're doing." Needless to say, we didn't stop however we got to the point where he was like "I do want to see where this goes, I just need to work some issues out with myself." [AND BELIEVE ME HE HAS SOME ISSUES, SO I COULD UNDERSTAND THIS.]
Whatever...

He eventually left for school again [this was about a month ago... a little over] and he said he missed me and couldn't wait to see him blah blah blah. [He was jealous because of all the guys commenting my Facebook.]

Okay either way, we broke up again, he left me, I was upset, he knows I was upset, I found out him and this friend of his are having some type of relationship and when I asked him he lied to me and said nothing was going on. [I know I shouldn't of asked, but I did :X]

Okay, I need help, I want him back, I miss him, I don't know what to do.

[OH PS. HE RECENTLY STARTED TEXTING ME AND TALKING TO ME MORE, it was at a point were I wouldn't hear from him for a few days to a week.]

techpro
Feb 19, 2009, 02:56 PM
Bear with me if I start to sound a little harsh, but it sounds like he's using you as some sort of backup relationship. And if he couldn't even be honest with you about the relationship he had going with his friend, then he definitely didn't want you to know so that if that relationship didn't work out he could always fall back into seeming interested in you.
As for how to get him back I suggest you try and talk to him about how you feel about wanting to be with him, and how you hate it when he goes for long periods without even seeming interested in you!

liz28
Feb 19, 2009, 05:44 PM
You can win someone over that doesn't what to be won over. It sounds like the two of you had more of a sexual relationship than an actual relationship that ended in you liking and wanted more from him than he does from you.

To protect yourself from getting hurt more I think you should leave this guy alone or at least stop having sex with him. Open your eyes and see what is there instead of imagining things. Otherwise, your leading your ownself towards unnecessary hearache.

dangiex
Feb 20, 2009, 11:00 AM
Bear with me but... if you read what you've written yourself, you might see a pattern there. This might not be true, but I don't think this guy knows what he wants himself. And it sounds like a waste to ponder over whether he does or not. You have to move on or figure how to kimprove your relationship with him. Either way you can't afford to stand in this ambiguous position for long.

HighandDryinnNy
Feb 20, 2009, 11:49 AM
Ahhh summer love... its sounds like you care for him a lot. Do you miss HIM, or the way you FEEL when you are with him? Believe me there is a difference. Some of us spend our whole lives chasing that feeling, and you were very fortunate to have experienced it. Hun, I think that it is time to move on. He doesn't sound very reliable, and usually at the college age, guys try on new relationships like we try on clothes. Nothing personal, I'm sure you two had a connection, and if that is the case then it might take him awhile to realize that. I mean sure you can try to get him back, but will you feel safe and secure with this relationship once you are together again? You can't fix anything that you didn't break, this was his deal and I am truly inclined to tell you please, move on. Summer is coming again soon, with more than just the possibility of a little romance. Enjoy yourself, remember the feeling and know you will find it again. I have, we all have.

talaniman
Feb 21, 2009, 08:14 PM
I think that you should have enjoyed your summer, but you both should let go of each other, as this relationship has not only run its course, but wasn't strong enough to survive time, and distance. You can only hurt each other now.

talaniman
Feb 23, 2009, 02:10 PM
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/techpro.html)techpro (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/techpro.html) disagrees: I hate to say this, but is all your advice always negative? Can you ever give someone a positive response, they are asking for peoples advice on how to fix thier problems, not to listen to you tell them their over thinking the situation!!
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/techpro.html)

Sorry you see my opinion of reality, negative. Don't mean it to be, the idea is to move forward in a positive way, knowing the truth. While were at it, where is your positive opinion, so you can be rated as I have?

roxypox
Feb 23, 2009, 02:27 PM
Sorry to say, this seems kind of like a lost cause. I know you want to win him back, but the chance of that is slim... you could try to talk to him, but seeing as (if I read your post correctly) you have already done that, and it didn't go so well.

It might be better for you in the long run, no matter how hard and painful it is, to stop what you're doing, stop the sexual encounters and move on.