is this right
Feb 19, 2009, 05:37 AM
I have been dating a simply fantastic girl for 9 months, and all is going really well. We spend chunks of time together (3-4 days over a weekend and then nights after work). The relationship is really good and what I would perceive to be healthy. (I am 30 and have been through relationships in the past, but not like this one) She is slightly younger at 24.
My issue is that the 2-3 days after spending time with her, I cannot get her out of my mind. I miss her dreadfully. It is really difficult. I thought this part of being in love was meant to be great and meant to be happy etc, instead I find myself anxious and almost worried! I know she has been feeling the same, almost like teenagers that cannot be apart.
We do have our own friends and lives as well, so we have not cut off from ‘the real world’.
It is slightly chewing me up and I’m afraid that a) I am going to explode because of a build up of love for her that gets stronger and stronger, or b) I am going to end up being clingy, and she is going to run the other way.
I know she feels the same as me at the moment, but she makes almost an unnatural effort to cool things off when we are apart by not emailing or texting too much. This is prob really sensible, and something I would have done in other relationships. I should be doing the cooling off being the older/experienced one! I sit reading over her emails to me at the end of night, because I try to read into them/enjoy them again... this cannot be normal!.
So when she does cool off a bit, I start to feel anxious, and read into everything she says as a negative... I guess I feel like I am losing ‘control’ over the relationship, or maybe it is actually control over myself I am losing!
My issue is that the 2-3 days after spending time with her, I cannot get her out of my mind. I miss her dreadfully. It is really difficult. I thought this part of being in love was meant to be great and meant to be happy etc, instead I find myself anxious and almost worried! I know she has been feeling the same, almost like teenagers that cannot be apart.
We do have our own friends and lives as well, so we have not cut off from ‘the real world’.
It is slightly chewing me up and I’m afraid that a) I am going to explode because of a build up of love for her that gets stronger and stronger, or b) I am going to end up being clingy, and she is going to run the other way.
I know she feels the same as me at the moment, but she makes almost an unnatural effort to cool things off when we are apart by not emailing or texting too much. This is prob really sensible, and something I would have done in other relationships. I should be doing the cooling off being the older/experienced one! I sit reading over her emails to me at the end of night, because I try to read into them/enjoy them again... this cannot be normal!.
So when she does cool off a bit, I start to feel anxious, and read into everything she says as a negative... I guess I feel like I am losing ‘control’ over the relationship, or maybe it is actually control over myself I am losing!