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View Full Version : I don't get women! But now I'm really Lost!


thatdamgood
Feb 18, 2009, 04:42 PM
Ok well I have never claimed to understand the complex mind of the female brain but this is just wacky on a whole another level!

Ok so I meet this girl though a friend and we hit it off immiedtly straight off the bat and we started talking via Facebook everyday solidy for hour sometimes more.then she gave me her number and for the last 3 and a half weeks we have been texting every day solidly not a single day going by where I have not spoken to her by text and then Facebook or msn.I have seen her at two party's during these four weeks the first one being a friends leaving do unfortuntley as she was getting there I had to go off to work and so we had a quick chat and I left with her literally watching me walk out the door.the second was her best friends party unfortunley due to work again lol I got there about an hour and a half after the party started and I didn't see her until a little while after I got there.When she saw me I was sitting on the couch with some friends and she come over and so omg I didn't no you had gotten here why didn't you come say Hi! Gave me a hug and proceeded to sit herself right next to me,to the point of which If I hadn't of moved slightly over she would have ended up on the floor.By this time she was tipsy so I don't know how much of her behaviour you can count but she was sitting very close constantly talking to me and only me to the point where when my friends went back to the dancefloor she was more then happy for and her me to sit and talk,take a few pics and generally have a laugh.

So anyway we leave this one club hand in hand and I walk her to the next club,as we get there I get held up at the door and we lose each other for the rest of the evening,that was about two weeks ago.Two weeks on and were still texting soildly so anyway I think I'm serisouly liking this girl more then I should any friend and I would like to get to no her more.So I tell her simple as! Rightly or wrongly I did this via text, and anyway the reply is what is doing my head... She says she wasn't expecting that at all and doesn't no what to say,She's not trying to be sociabel or nice and not let me down but she doesn't no what to say.

Which brings me on to these forum to ask the knowledge of the more experince people on here! Does she like me?> what's with the whole nothing to say! How do I approach it now? Advise is needed!! Despertley! She;s the king of girl that makes me smile and pull my hair out all at the same time lol but atm I'm just lost!

Any more background or anything needed simply ask and I'm happy to Tell

Xx

Reicheru-006
Feb 18, 2009, 04:59 PM
Lol its cute that you admit a woman's mind is like this super complex maze. Lol as a chick I can tell you its not that hard to figure out.

I'm pretty sure you just caught her off guard and, if this is recent, then TOTALLY act like you would any other day when you see her or talk to her next. Also to be safe, when you do see her or w/e; turn the flirting down for now. Seems like she didn't really think of you that way and now she just needs time to think about all of this.

What she's probably thinking: she was being nice and a good friend. She probably didn't like you that way but is now thinking that she could possibly like you that way and not know it. Trust me chicks need some time for sorting this kind of thing out. Hey she might be thinking that she likes you right now.

So... just act like it never happened and try SUPER hard not to make things awkward until this blows over. This just needs time

paula grace
Feb 18, 2009, 05:11 PM
Poor soul, you are being used. I know I used to do the same thing, women are insecure about being alone. We love it when men want us and we can turn them down. It makes feel superior. If we go to a bar and don't know anybody but you are there to pump up our ego until someone else comes along. It's bad to say that but it is true. I'm not proud but I'm 42 years old and I was quite hot in my earlier years and took advantage of male friends, probably leading them on. So, forget about her and look for someone that appreciates you and doesn't keep looking for something better to come along.

thatdamgood
Feb 18, 2009, 05:36 PM
Thanks for the two above for obvious reasons I want Reicheru to be the closest one lol no offence paula cause both I value allot? Appricate some more opinions on this best to get a wide range of opinions but going on the two I have so what were saying is No more text's let her stew kind of thing? Let her work it out and let her think and just wait to see her don't text her... I'm going to be seeing her Saturday as it's a mutual friends party.

talaniman
Feb 18, 2009, 11:20 PM
I don't see romance happening, but I do see you getting too involved for your own good. I think your being led by the nose, why? Because she can. Of course she doesn't know what to say, because you would leave her alone if she did. So leave her alone, and find someone who will return your interest, in person, not through texts.

thatdamgood
Feb 19, 2009, 06:16 AM
Talaniman I Love that response! All three have been great but that one makes the most sense to me! Thank you I would say anytime you need any help just ask but you're the expert so I doubt that would be helpful to you lol.

thatdamgood
Feb 20, 2009, 05:53 PM
Ok So I do as we agreed and I didn't text her but yesterday I got a text saying,Hey Im sorry I didn't say anything the other day but if it helps I'm reli confused by this whole situation if you can call it that and I think we need to talk about this preferably face to face,she's suggesting this sat night at a friends party! But she is going to be leaving it entierly up to me weather or not we do! When she sees me she's going to give me a big hug and not make things awkward in anyway and if I want to discuss it and get through the confusion I can but she knows how much pride I have and is fine if I don't...

This has me more confused TBH,does she want to talk about it face to face or does she not? Is it good a sign is it a bad one?

talaniman
Feb 20, 2009, 09:59 PM
Talk about this preferably face to face,she's suggesting this sat night at a friends party!

Translation, we can have a serious conversation but all my friends will be around so it will be on my turf, and terms!

No way! If she was serious, or cared, you would be in a much more personal setting. Just you two!

Think about it! Go the other way, there is no heart to heart conversation at a party.

neverme
Feb 20, 2009, 10:50 PM
Oh yeah. I know when I really want to sort something out I do it at friend's party!


So you have the choice? Isn't she so considerate??

And she's gonna give you a big hug...she's a peach!



OR maybe she's doing it at the party because that will make it easier on her, you probably won't bring it up but she's given you the option


Maybe she's giving you a big hug, so that the lovely girl has done nothing wrong according to the masses surrounding her


Maybe she's leaving it up to you, so that you become 'the over possessive weirdo who totally took a fit'


And...if you decide not to do it well, she has someone for photos and chat and to walk her to the next club, then buh bye!


Come on dude, tell this girl g'luck and move on.

talaniman
Feb 21, 2009, 05:53 AM
Honestly, you already know what the real deal is, and your wasting your time pursuing someone who doesn't want to be chased.

If you go to the party, dance with all the girls, and have a good time. If you take off your blinders, never know what else you'll see.

thatdamgood
Feb 23, 2009, 07:49 PM
Thank you both for the Advice and I'm serisouly now getting the feeling I'm a pawn in this girl's game.Like the go to guy when thing's are not going great.

I turned up at the party fully intent on not bringing it up because it wasn't the time nor the place,Unfortuntley due to work I cld only get to the party a few hours after it started so mid way to the party she phones me asking me where I'm at and if I'm coming to the party,I saw yea Yea Im on my way.I turn up at the party mingle some friends,choosing to ignore her.Not one to be ignored lol she gets up comes right into my face and gives me a great big hug.I give her a hug answer some meangless questions then go about sitting down on the couch talking to some friends.About half an hour passes and the place next to me comes vacant so she sits down or should I say Sits on my lol,I ask her to watch it and she replies with you Love it reli,I chose to ignore this and go about talking to other friends to my right away from her.As I'm chatting to these friends I can feel her burshing my hair and digging me in the elbows so I turn around and talk to her for a few minutes before we all decide to go to the next club.As I'm not yet drunk anything I saY Im going to move the car closer to the club ,My M8 and her missues jump at the chance of a lift and despite her complaints they prusuade her to get the lift(I didn't want her to either) and I drive to the club,Once there I decide I'm going to wait for my mates to come down the street as there walking and she start's moaning about wanting to go in.I tell her look your Not 12 you can go in whenever the hell you want! Im sure the other two will follow,she stares at me asks why am I being so horrible and sits down 5 yards away from looking like she's about to cry which forces me to feel sorry for her and aplogise giving her a big hug.Once inside the club I walk away from the three of them and go to buy some drinks before hitting the dance floor.After an hour maybe more I catch her out of the corner of my eye sitting with my friend and his missues playing tongue tennis looking very alone and bored so I stupidly text her saying cheer up moody I don't hate you honest lol.After half or so I pass her on the stairs and she stops me telling me how bored she is as she can't get any drunk then tipsy,and I tell her to just go for it with some guy and we run through some of our single friends she says no and says there's only one person left I say oh yea me lol but we both no you don't want me! She says I never said that I never said no,bit confused I tell her look I don't do mind games from little girls so I'm off for a smoke! She grabs the smokes out of my hand and tell's me Im not playing games and you have a choice,Me or the fag's,I tell her to stop playing it's not funny playing with me I don't like it and to give me the fags.She says so what's the descion me or the fag's,trying to call her bluff I Say Ok if I choose you get ready for a kiss,she smiles and says go for it big boy so I go for it.For the next few hours we make out and the club ends and we have to leave.

Once outside it's like a switch went on inside her head and she immiedtly becomes cold as Ice with me.I sit down she sits 10 yards away from me,moans she's cold and wants a hug so I move over give her a hug we share a quick peck and then I go my way she goes her's and that's it.

So Sunday comes and I'm like what the hell has just gone down,I text her and say So how much do you regrett and where to from now.She simply put's I don't regrett anything from last night but I don't no what I want anymore sorry.

What the ****... IF I wasn't confused before I'm on a whole different level now.

saynotosake
Feb 23, 2009, 08:17 PM
Erm.. don't mean to sound insensitive here, but why do you care so much? You're not girlfriend & boyfriend?
If she wants to be confused let her, is her behaviour really having such a big impact on your life?
You are allowing yourself to become part of a seemingly childish situation and you're letting her mess with you.
I think if a relationship starts badly, well the chances are it's going to end badly & from what you've said things don't look promising.
Stop being so serious, cause I doubt she's losing any sleep over this. On to the next one mate.