View Full Version : Selfish boyfriend
bellamarie
Feb 17, 2009, 01:36 PM
Hi, me and my boyfriend have been dating around 2 years and we both still love each other but I feel like something is different nowadays. We don't fight all the time but lately just some of the stuff he has done has really made me mad. And when I confront him about it... he turns it all around on me and I feel awful. I feel like sometimes he's so excited about me and we have so much fun and other times I feel like he's not interested at all. Lately I've been barely seeing him and I still try to give him space. But if you barely see someone shouldn't it be better when you are together? A few months ago he used to beg me to come over every night and spend time with him and now I don't think he would really care if I just stopped hanging out with him for a few days. I just feel like things never used to be this way... he used to always tell me how lucky he was to have someone like me and now I'm happy if I can get an I love you without saying it first. I've tried to talk to him about it before and it never goes well and it always turns into a fight. I can't tell if I'm doing something wrong or not. If I am I want to work on it but I just don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I'm just being a clingy girlfriend or maybe he's just too comfortable or something. Someone please give me advice!
kctiger
Feb 17, 2009, 01:57 PM
Someone please give me advice!
Share your feelings with him...
TrueFaith
Feb 17, 2009, 02:12 PM
Relationships change.. always from day to day.
If you don't like the way it is going.. speak with him let your feelings be known.
I don't see a problem here. I just think you want it to be like it was when your love was fresh
I'm sorry that does not happen
After the so called wow factor. You are left with. Trust and lots of other good feelings
He probable thinks you know he loves you that's why he isn't saying it anymore.
And the fact that he does not need to ask you to come over anymore. Because he knows you want to and are always welcome..
Anyway that's just my view.
Best of luck
Regards
jessica1989999
Feb 17, 2009, 03:19 PM
This is going to sound strange, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, but about a year ago he told me he has this attraction to women putting on weight, and finds it a turn on, and he's a member on this site where they show pictures of celebs who have put on weight, because I don't have much confidence and he's told me how much he would like it if I put on weight, I've started to eat more around him just to make him happy, but now I just feel very self-conscious and its become a way of life, he knows everything that I eat, and he goes off with me if I suggest joining a gym or anything, I know he cares about me but he is being really selfish and I don't know what to say to him to change his feelings can anyone help?
I've bee nwith my boyfriend for 2 years and it's the same, he spends a lot more time with his friends now but all I can stay is don't think about it, arrange days and nights out with your friends, show him you have other things in your life because he probably things when ever he wants to see you he can, then he will probably be more attentive and want to see you more, that's what I do, just don't dwell on the fact your not seeing him and hang out with your friends more
I lost my job about 3 months ago and I think I'm going insane, I cry a lot, I cry watching jeremy kyle! I hate not earning money and the fact that my boyfriend works like 2 hours a week for his dad and gets paid mega bucks, sometimes at night I cry and it hurts, I've become paranoid and question my boyfriend a lot, and I also feel like I've put on weight, I've always been very shy and timid, and never had much confidence but I've never felt like this, totally isolated, I feel worthless and like I don't have a life at all, I've also become quite angrey and the other day during an argument I threw my fone at my boyfriends ead, it sounds funny but I'm scared of hurting someone again because I can just feel myself getting very angrey and can't control it sometimes, I just want to be happy and content and not worry anymore, help?
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and I'm not sure if I'm happy, recently I've found out certain things about him that have made me see him in a different light, the thing is, I don't have many friends or a job at the moment, and wouldn't ever meet anyone else, so I'm in totally the wrong situation to be ending a relationship at the minute, its all I have but I don't know if I want to be with him forever.
My boyfriend has a fettish for women putting on weight, not fat women, just the process of a woman gaining weight, he goes on sites about it he's told me, does anyone know anyhting about this, or if it even exists? Because I've never heard of it before and want to find out more and why he would find it a turn on? Maybe a mans opinion?
techpro
Feb 17, 2009, 03:28 PM
What you need to tell him is that if he truly wants to be with you he will just have to deal with who you really are.
If he can't do that he no reason to be with you!
If he really cares about you he will love you no matter how you are!
I hope if have been of some help.
Sincerely,
Ben
Justwantfair
Feb 17, 2009, 03:31 PM
Sounds to me like a matter of control for him.
He can bulk you up then he feels more confident in the fact that you won't leave him and it would be easier to convinence you that no one else would want you. He is trying to lower yourself esteem.
WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM??
Choux
Feb 17, 2009, 04:12 PM
Where are your parents?
tntdynamite
Feb 17, 2009, 04:13 PM
Well, for starters, your worth isn't based on whether you have a job, or how good it pays. So don't think you don't matter, or don't matter as much just because you lost your job. Keep trying, you'll get another one. Start by looking for one, and don't get more depressed because one doesn't fall right into your lap. But work on your confidence hon. I can see you're a good person, you're not a slacker, and you care about people. Sometimes when your angry you do stupid things, I have too, and if your boyfriend doesn't understand that, he doesn't deserve you. Keep your head up!
kp2171
Feb 17, 2009, 04:19 PM
This isn't a question, and you should probably continue this discussion in one of the threads you already opened.
Opening many threads gets confusing and leaves details scattered.
jessica1989999
Feb 17, 2009, 04:20 PM
My parents are in bed, where are yours?
jessica1989999
Feb 17, 2009, 04:21 PM
Sorry
UnluckyDucky
Feb 17, 2009, 04:22 PM
Can you elaborate a little more about your situation?
* How old are you and your boyfriend?
* What did you find out about him?
* Current living arrangements (are you living with him, etc.) ?
You also seem to be under the assumption that you need to be in a relationship - that is simply not true. Being in a relationship "just because there's nothing else better out there right now" is not good for you or him.
jessica1989999
Feb 17, 2009, 04:24 PM
I'm 19, he's 22, I found out he tells little lies, not important lies but lies about stupid things and we don't live together
Choux
Feb 17, 2009, 04:35 PM
Dead.
Why don't you live with your parents?
jessica1989999
Feb 17, 2009, 04:36 PM
Sorry, I do live with them, I'm 19