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View Full Version : Just met him so is asking him to the dance too forward?


Reicheru-006
Feb 16, 2009, 04:08 PM
Ok so for this play that was two weeks ago, I did the light tech stuff and I met this guy john and he does sound. While the actors were practicing we got pretty close and talked the whole time when we didn't have to do anything (which was for about 45 min at a time). So after the play we didn't really talk much because I don't have any classes with him but smiled or said hey whenever he was around.

When our schools show chior did an invetational (20 schools come to our school and preformed and our show chior is there allllll day, which I play trombone for) I visited him in the booth while he was doing lights and sound and helped him a little while other schools went. We joked around for awhile and then at the end of the day we were so tired and we were just messinging around and making bad sex jokes. That was just this weekend.

so in the halls today I saw him, smiled, and said hey and he called me a right before he passed me. I laughed and turned around and he turned too and smiled back and kept walking. Soooo I want to ask him to the winter ball this weekend (which happens to be my birthday ^-^) but I have no idea if were close enough to really go together to a dance. I don't really know him but I've hung out with him and we seem to have a ton of fun but he's also kind of a player so I don't know if some freshman chick had already asked him.

Sooo I need an outside opinion on this soon! Thanks for helping if u left a comment!

kp2171
Feb 16, 2009, 04:33 PM
Some of the best dances I went to were with friends, not gf's... so I don't see how not being more "connected" has anything to do with anything. Hell, if anything, the anticipation of getting closer to someone is half the fun.

But there's two issues here...

First, you are concerned that its too soon to ask... why? Too soon for him or for you? Are you worried about any "expectations" he might have? Pushing too fast? Too fast for whom?

If you are asking is it weird for a girl to ask a guy out on a date or something when they don't know each other well... well, I've always been most attracted to, and dated, women who were confident and forward about who they were, what they liked... and then, some guys like to have more control.

Whatever.

If you seem to get along and have a good time together, I think that's a good start... and you really aren't going to know much more than that.

Second, why do you say he's a player? Is he popular? Dated a lot?

I don't know.

If you get along well, id say ask him and don't regret it. If it's a "yes", great. If its "ive got a date", fine... his loss. Smile and tell him "too bad".

Live in reality. Never be afraid to know the truth. You can deal with that. Id rather know a woman had no interest in me than to spend night after night wondering. That's just time wasted.

Some people will like you and some won't. Its OK either way.

I say ask him if you feel like you are OK.

Is he older? How much?

Reicheru-006
Feb 16, 2009, 04:48 PM
I'm actually older than him. He's a freshman and I'm a sophomore. He wears all this prep crap but I know he's just as weird and random as me (in a good way) and he's a player because he's got all these other frosh chicks running after him and I just kind of roll my eyes at it but it does bother me a little because I've got only so much time to ask and "what if im too late" thing.

I'm kind of worried its too soon because I've known him less than a month but were not moving all that fast. I really want him to go out with me eventually... that would be amazing but he's got to say yes and go to the dance w/ me first.

so you think I should ask?

kp2171
Feb 16, 2009, 05:10 PM
he wears all this prep crap but i know he's just as weird and random as me

Loved this line. You have your sh!t together. Smiles your way.

Well... I don't want to dominate this thread. Others will have valid opinions to add.

My opinion... if I asked someone out or to a dance or whatever... and they said no... fine. Done. Easy enough.

They know you were interested. If they are interested, but circumstances weren't right (accepted someone's else's invite, for ex) then they'll have some work to do to show you they are honestly interested.

You can't make too much of anything right now. If he accepts it, it isn't as if the stars are aligning... and if he says no it isn't the breaking of the seventh seal... it is whatever it is. OK or not.

Don't think id label someone as a player just because a lot of people are after them.

And the secret to happiness, no matter if its forever or for a weekend, in my opinion, is to find your "own kind of weird"...

Sometimes you find out you can "only" be friends... as if that's a bad thing. If there's more to it than that, great.

My vote, ask him and see how he responds. No regrets either way.

Ill defer to the other member opinions. You'll surely have others have their say if you wait a bit.

Reicheru-006
Feb 16, 2009, 05:15 PM
Yeah and I've got a few days. Thanks for your imput! Really helped!

Reicheru-006
Feb 17, 2009, 05:42 PM
well I asked him so I guess we'll see how the rest of this rolls out =D