Dorian Gray
Feb 15, 2009, 02:08 PM
Hi,
Soo here's my dramatic situation :/ :).. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 1/2 year and we've had an amazing time together. Recently, she was on my computer and forgot to sign off from her e-mail account before she left.. As I was about to close it I saw a subject line with my name on it and I decided to read it (by the way I realize that this is very bad and I feel terrible about it :( ).
In the e-mail she was asking her mother what to do with our relationship. To give a little history about us - we had been very close friends for several years before we started dating. We are a great fit together - we have similar interests, like doing similar things and we share common views on life etc. We have a very harmonious relationship and we like spending time together. All of this is confirmed in her e-mail so I am not just judging from my own perspective. She also tells her mom that I am reliable and that I give her comfort and really love her and that she cares about me a lot. She says she'd love to see me happy, and even sees a great father and husband in me
On the other hand she feels she is missing out on other opportunities by being with me. She feels that she brings new things to the relationship and I don't. She says we have a great time together but we/she don't evolve and stay at the same spot. My girlfriend is very outgoing, reasonable and intelligent. She likes to go to new places and meet new people and also do various stuff on her own. While I enjoy that, I must admit that she is the motor in those kind of things. She says she is a little bored:( I guess the issue is that I feel a better person when I am with her, and she doesn't think she is getting the same. To throw another nuance in this, I must say that she is an idealist and she always has great expectations about everything that she does - work, personal life. To put it in her own words she has to make a choice between comfort and opportunity for new things. And she is not sure that she can get both with me.
The choices that I have to make are several:
* I want to try to give her what she needs but I don't know if that's really the issue. Maybe we are just not meant for each other. People are different - the fall in love and break up for various reasons. I absolutely understand her motives and thoughts, but I am not sure if I can accept them and be fine with them. Should I try to make things work or should we just separate. I guess both of us are not sure. I know I want to give it a try...
* Should I tell her about the e-mail that I read? I really want to because I feel bad and because I want to be honest with her. Also, I want to bring up the long conversation that we obviously need to have. I know love is not enough, but I want to try to do something because I think she still loves/cares about me. Actually, she is going out of the country in a couple of months so I suppose this would be a natural end of our relationship. Should I wait several months?
Any piece of advice would be highly appreciated.
I still believe that love will save the world :)))
Soo here's my dramatic situation :/ :).. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 1/2 year and we've had an amazing time together. Recently, she was on my computer and forgot to sign off from her e-mail account before she left.. As I was about to close it I saw a subject line with my name on it and I decided to read it (by the way I realize that this is very bad and I feel terrible about it :( ).
In the e-mail she was asking her mother what to do with our relationship. To give a little history about us - we had been very close friends for several years before we started dating. We are a great fit together - we have similar interests, like doing similar things and we share common views on life etc. We have a very harmonious relationship and we like spending time together. All of this is confirmed in her e-mail so I am not just judging from my own perspective. She also tells her mom that I am reliable and that I give her comfort and really love her and that she cares about me a lot. She says she'd love to see me happy, and even sees a great father and husband in me
On the other hand she feels she is missing out on other opportunities by being with me. She feels that she brings new things to the relationship and I don't. She says we have a great time together but we/she don't evolve and stay at the same spot. My girlfriend is very outgoing, reasonable and intelligent. She likes to go to new places and meet new people and also do various stuff on her own. While I enjoy that, I must admit that she is the motor in those kind of things. She says she is a little bored:( I guess the issue is that I feel a better person when I am with her, and she doesn't think she is getting the same. To throw another nuance in this, I must say that she is an idealist and she always has great expectations about everything that she does - work, personal life. To put it in her own words she has to make a choice between comfort and opportunity for new things. And she is not sure that she can get both with me.
The choices that I have to make are several:
* I want to try to give her what she needs but I don't know if that's really the issue. Maybe we are just not meant for each other. People are different - the fall in love and break up for various reasons. I absolutely understand her motives and thoughts, but I am not sure if I can accept them and be fine with them. Should I try to make things work or should we just separate. I guess both of us are not sure. I know I want to give it a try...
* Should I tell her about the e-mail that I read? I really want to because I feel bad and because I want to be honest with her. Also, I want to bring up the long conversation that we obviously need to have. I know love is not enough, but I want to try to do something because I think she still loves/cares about me. Actually, she is going out of the country in a couple of months so I suppose this would be a natural end of our relationship. Should I wait several months?
Any piece of advice would be highly appreciated.
I still believe that love will save the world :)))