Hello All, Me and my fiancé have been trying to conceive since Jan 2006 NO LUCK, YET. I went to the doctor and they said everythig looked fine, normal. And I;m am not sure whyw e are not getting pregnant yet, its very stressful, and hard to understand. I don't get how many people get pregnant so easy, me and my fiancé have tried many different techniques after sex, and othing seems to work? Any suggestions?

Welcome to AMHD Rae... Hope we can help.

Before we get started, do you have a ring and a date? Just wondering why you want a baby before the marriage. Are you ready if he walks away after the baby is born before you marry him?

That being said... You have not mentioned if you were on any birth control, that will make a great difference.

You also have to take stress into account. Stress will cause problems getting pregnant. I can't say much more unless I know about the birth control first, so let me know and I will tell you what I know.

Well we got our rings, and the resons why we don't have date yet is because we are still planning out a lot of things, it takes 10 months to have a baby(but at the same time you and the baby are growing), it only takes a short time to get married(depending on shuedules, we named a couple dates we would like to get married but we just don't know if we will have everything planned out before those dates, I'm sure we could have everything planned out, but we have a lot going on also), we were trying to conceive before wedding issues came more to the surface, and after these past couple months of not getting pregnant, even when performing on, before or around ovulationg days, I had heard some people get on pills (BC), stop taking them a couple days, and then they ovulate, and that it would be easier for thm to get pregnant, so I have BC pills but have net started taking them, I don't really know what to do, exactly though.

Where in the world did you hear that it takes 10 months to have a baby????????????????????????? :eek::eek::eek:

It is 40 weeks, 9 months maximum. You can be sure that some come within 6, 7 or 8 months.

It is most important to get married, spend time with your hubby, get to know him, let him get to know you, learn each others quirks prior to having a baby. It is easier for him to walk away after the baby is born and there is no wedding than it is you.

Please think this through a little more before you regret any decisions you make.

There are at least 4 weeks in a months, 40 divided by 4 is 10... And yes I do know babies come within 7, 8, most likely 9 months, but 40 is a full term pregnancy which is 10 months. Me and my boyfriend have our own place, have been living together since we started Trying to conceive, we know each other, understand each other, been thrugh ups and downs, and we communicate very well, we pretty much are married, that's anothor reason why we haven't got married yet, or soon. Because we just shrug it off a little like, "we basically are married." Believe we will be married for sure before I 'have' a child. We've been together for years, know each other even longer. Were best friends, we got our 'personalitys down, we know each other and understand each other emotionally, physically, mentally, verbally. Thank you for your help. I have BC pills that I had planne don taking for a while or until marriage, And I think that is what Im going to start doing (taking them until marriage, or until I figure more stuff out.)

>>>then again when 1-3 is first trimester 4-6 is second trimester 7-9 is third trimester, I think I'm including the time conceived.. there's 36-40 weeks in a full term pregnancy

Well, you need to figure more stuff out. I do not mean to be condescending, but I have had 4 children ages range from 20 all the way down to 4, worked in labor and delivery, etc. A baby does not come in 10 months. Period, no question about it. If you hit 41 or 42 weeks your doc freaks and induces.

Human pregnancy is nine months, from the date of conception to the date of delivery.

The baby is just waiting until mommy and daddy get married and the stress of that event has leveled off... How long has it been since your last birth control pill passed your lips?. How long were you on birth control pills?. How old are you? When was your last visit to the doctoe? Has the daddy been checked for sperms? Does he have enough sperm to do the job? (that was not meant to be a joke)... Ask him to visit the doctor and ask for the necessary test to check on the sperm count issue...

I understadn you work with this stuff, there is usually 4 1/2 weeks in a month, either I'm counting from time conceive or last period which is 40 weeks, 10 months. I am not saying you are wrong, indeed you arnt a doc. Would induce labor even before 40 weeks maybe only by a week or a couple days. But 40 weeks is 10 months. That's all I am saying... Then again I must be counting from time conceived or last period, my cousin got pregnany sround MID June her baby is due march 3.. Which that is 9 months so I must be counting from, last period received, so my bad. I wasn't trying to say you were wrong or anything like that. I am not trying to argue, or contridict you. I just got a little confused with myself, my apologies, but now do you understand what I was saying with the whole 10 month thing? I agree me and my boyfriend need some more time 'getting to know eachother' We know basically everything, but I get what your saying... Which is why we haven't exactly decided our wedding day, but we do know that we are connected and we know were getting married, and we both know were meant to be etc etc... We weren't exactly Trying to conceive from the beginning we were having un-protected sex, So basically we were Trying to conceive, if you get that, its kind of confusing. I can get to be confusing sometimes, sorry about that. What Im saying is we didn't exactly know what we wanted then, but we do soemwhat know what we want now, and the only reason why we have continued Trying to conceive, Is because I ahvent yet got pregnant, and were kind of scared we won't be able to have kids, I know it takes time, but its scary, this is the first time Ive ever Trying to conceive.

Luna, there is no reason for Daddy to visit the doc yet, they really will not do anything until 2 years of trying has passed.

Age and stress has a lot to do with this situation, along with education regarding pregnancy.

You have a point with the stress thing, I actually think it would be better to get married before baby making comes into play, but we've went all this tie with no hope( then again people are perfectly normal and have been Trying to conceive for up to 2-5 years), and now were kind of worried it will never happen. I haven't ever taken BC before, I have the pills, and was waiting for the right day to start taking them, my last visit to the doctor for all of this was my ultra sound to see if anything was ab-normal which was 1 week ago, everything looked great, my other doc appt was 2 weeks ago to get a pap smear, STDS testing, & it was also my BC appt, everything turned out normal. My boyfriend last went to the doctor to get checked for STDS etc etc exams, about 9 months ago, I do not think he got his sperm count checked, in which I have encouraging him to do so... He just hasn't got into making the needed appts...

It takes 9 months for a baby.

It sounds like you need to go to some classes before you every consider having kids.

Go see an obgyn and ask him how long it takes for a baby.

How old are you.

Here is web site for you to look at.

Here is a small excerpt from this web site.

Wait a minute! That's almost 10 months! That can't be right!

Actually, if you take 38 weeks and divide by four to get 9 1/2 months, or divide 40 weeks by four to get 10 months, you're calculating lunar months, which are shorter than calendar months.

A lunar month lasts only 28 days, or four seven-day weeks. Most calendar months last for 30 or 31 days. That's why it sounds as if there's more time involved when we count in lunar months although it's not actually true. When we talk about a 40-week pregnancy, we're including the two weeks before the baby was actually conceived.

So depending on when you start counting, you can expect your pregnancy to last 38 or 40 weeks, or about nine calendar months.

http://www.healthatoz.com

Hun, there is no reason to be scared about whether you can get pregnant. Time will come. However, please know that pregnancy is 9 months not 10. Although that is not important.

What is important is that you and your b/f get to know each other, have time together before having a baby. Think this through first.

I must've been counting from time last period was received again in other posts you would have seen that... how many weeks are a full term pergnancy 36-40 weeks... 9-10 months, 36 weeks is 9 months, 4 weeks in each month. 40 weeks is 10 months again 4 weeks in each month.. my bad.

The pregnancy count is by days, not months exactly, it is just easier to say months. Days turn into months. 365 in 12 months and approx 266 in a pregnancy.

Thank oyu very much, for putting that a-side. You're right it does take 9 months, I think I got a little confused with my math, or something is up with me not acknowledging something... And I am thinking everythign through with marriage, and a baby. Making sure evryhting is right.

There you go, educated horse 2005 got me, that's what I was trying to say, my bad... I get what your saying and I also get what I was saying sorry people, didn't mean to make anyone mad or confuse them, if you did get confused just look at educated horse's post and you will understand what I was trying to say, even thought I messed up.. lol

Do you know what all goes into having a baby? Not including labor and delivery, but afterward?

The cost, the time you used to have to yourself that you have to give up? No more parties, few friends, what if the baby has colic or meningitis? Do you have insurance to cover $300 or $400 vaccinations, well baby visits, day care, or can you afford not to work. Diapers are at least $12 a bunch and only last a few days.

Toys, formula, which is a few hundred a month. I know "I will breast feed." What if your baby has acid reflux, then the formula is even more expensive. They need new clothes every couple of weeks at first.

Take your time hon... You are still young, I can tell. You have many years ahead of you, you will be ready then.

I was 22 with my first and I look back now and realize that I was not ready till I had my last at 38, and that was 4 years ago. Don't rush things you might regret.

Hi. Kind of jumping in in the middle of all of this. I always believed that the actual time frame from conception to delivery was @ 270 days. It was pretty close for both of my kids, as I know the day that I got pregnant, & the day that they were born (lol). I think my son was 272 days & my daughter was 268 days. Anyway, you sound young. How old are you? I really think you should wait until you are married before you start trying. Also, you said things are stressful, confusing & a lot going on. If these are reasons you can't pick a date & plan a wedding, then why do you think a baby is a good idea right now? Trust me, I love my kids, but they definitely add to all of the above! Take your time. Talk to your doctor. Research parenthood! It seems grand, but there are a lot of things that no one ever seems to mention. Then once you have kids you say "why didn't anybody tell me about this part?" While you are researching parenthood, & pregnancy & infertility & planning a wedding, maybe you will get your wish & become pregnant. Also, what is Trying to conceive?

Well I am young for baby & marriage, but I can't give up on love however I (WE) can wait and be patient, for all of this, & wait a while,I was just determined ot get pregnant before thinking EVERYTHING through which I am now decing to do, I start taking my pills in a couple more days, I will continue them until marriage etc etc... I do want to be married before a baby, but I was just worried that it could never happen. But That's why I got my BC pills to wait on a baby until marriage etc etc... If you get what I mean J9. My num. one dream is to become a mom, and have a great relationship with my loved one (spouse, husband)... So I got carried away, for a while...

I know that at any age ahving your first child, it will be stressfull, every woman young or old has trouble with there first child, that is a part of growing up, you lose friends etc etc.. you have to make sacrifices at any age of having a child, age doesn't make a mom neither does having a child, same with dads you got to prove to be a mom, etc etc. for the record I am 19 almost 20. I am still very young for all of this, but all of this that we are taking about is a part of growing up. Its life

Well, this is funny Rae, I take a special interest in you cause my daughter (12) is Rae also. Maybe that is why I was a little rough on you.

After having 4 kids and 2 marriages, I think the best thing is to spend "alone time" with your man. I was married 2 years when I had my first and we ended up divorced, not a lot of time to get to know each other. Then guess who gets stuck with the kiddo.

Believe me Rae, being a Mom is not always what you think it is. Think about spending weeks in the hospital with your kiddo who got sick and you have no insurance, the bills piling up, $200,000 later you have to work now, but daycare is $95 or more a week, etc.

Be stable in your relationship first. Could you do this alone if you have the baby first and he decides he is not ready for marriage?

Rae, having a baby is life, but you have to live life first before giving things up that you will regret later.

Live life, educate yourself, have fun now cause you can't later. Spend cuddle time with your b/f now. Now is not the time. As I said I take special interest in you since you have the same nick as my 12 year old. You need a chance to live first, you just got out of Hich School for crying out loud.

GO PARTY, HAVE FUN, not a baby!!

I know I woudlnt be able to do all this alone..

Well, that is something you will have to take into consideration if you get pregnant now.

So...

Yeah... blame the woman when the baby ain't here... it matters that the daddy go to the doctor and... mommy want to be... needs to read more books on conceptions... it takes at least seven days before you can determine that you are with child... Are you smoking? Do you have a cold? All these situations can cause a delay in conception...

Well there's a lot of reasons that couldn't cause pregnancy smoking, colds, etc etc... But understand how many people do smoke, weed included, have colds etc etc... And still get pregnant. Girls younger than I not even trying to get pregnant, get pregnant every single day... I don't think its very fair, but its life, what is fair? And it takes up to 14 days to show on a pregnancy test, at the least 5 days before your first missed period, sometimes it will show sooner but rarley

Rae, don't rush it. It will happen when the time is ready.

I cannot give you anymore advice, you are 19 and you know what is right and what is wrong. I thought I did too at 19, almost 20.

Just be sure you are ready to be a single parent... Cause you both are too young.

I was too young at 22, and at 24. I know that now.

Rae most of those girls that do get pregnant at a young age will tell you that it was very hard & that even though they love their kid(s) they wish they would have been older. I was 28 & married for 5 years before I had my son. Sometimes I think that maybe we should have waited a year or two. Both of my kids were very planned ( down to the moth I wnted them tobe born). Yes, I was lucky that it happened when I hoped it would. However, I have many friends that were your age when they started families, & all of them say they feel that they missed out on so many things that life has to offer. I understand that you really want to be a mom, but with being so young, that might not be the best plan. I would hate for you to resent your child(ren) later in life because you felt that you missed so much. Part of being a (good) parent is making decisions that you know are best for your kids, & not always what you want. (ie. You know it's best to stay at home because your child has a fever of 101, but you stood in line 3 months age for concert tickets, & paid a lot of money. You really want to go, but you have to decied what is best for you litle one.) Just an example, but many times the kind of stuff that as a parent you have to decied. What happens when you turn 21 & want to go out w/ your friends dancing or something? Go & have fun, or stay at home because money is tight? PLEASE wait. Spenf time w/ you b/f, get married, do lots of stuff together, go to school, get life experience. Than when you do start a family, you can tell your kids of the things you & your spouse did together, & as they get older, you will have life experience to help them make choices & slove problems. Good luck with whatever you decied, but please think about it. What do your parents think of this?

Kym, that was absolutely beautiful!!

I know most of us women want to be a mom, a lot of us want a baby to love us, and love us unconditionally. One thing that we do not understand before we have the baby is that babies don't really know how to love in the beginning, they depend on us for their very existence.

I remember how hard it was to feel "love" when my oldest was sick, throwing up and constantly crying for 3 days straight and I did not know how to comfort him, make him feel better, even get him to sleep. I had not slept in 3 days so I was tired. All I wanted was for it all to stop and go away. The illness stopped and went away eventually, but it was so hard when I was so tired.

I like what Kym said too about partying with your friends. You aren't yet 21, if you are in the states you will be legal to drink on your 21st birthday. Do you want to stay home and change diapers on your birthday or would you rather celebrate?

You are 19, almost 20, you have almost 20 more childbearing years.

Take time like Kym said to get some life experience. Use the money that would be going for a baby to go and travel, party, just have a good time for a few more years before tying yourself down.

Get to know... I mean it really get know your mate before you jump in to marriage... it is a long term investment... that will show its highs and lows... get ready... the baby now makes the mission more stressful... got a baby sitter or day care service... are you an at home mom.. does daddy want to be the only one working for the family... really know what it takes to care for the baby and you and him... someone is going to sacrifice more of themselves... I hope it is not the baby... this world is going through some strange changes... do you want your child among them... are you having children that you hope will make a difference... think about it... really think about...

I knwo that at any age ahving your first child, it will be stressfull, every woman young or old has trouble with there first child, that is a part of growing up, you lose friends etc etc..you have to make sacrifices at any age of having a child, age doesnt make a mom neither does having a child, same with dads you gotta prove to be a mom, etc etc. for the record I am 19 almost 20. I am still very young for all of this, but all of this that we are taking about is a part of growing up. its life
When you bring life into the world it is your responsibility. That's why most babies grow up in poverty, most are from divorced homes, most are drop outs... When young people get together yeah seems like you'll be together forever. The truth is 66% will be divorced and the man will be no where to be found. Yes I know... it couldn't happen to you. Since I doubt if either you or your b/f is furthering your education then minimum wage will make it very hard to earn the living it takes to support a family. What's the hurry? Why would you want to get married without the where with all to support this child the right way? Yes its part of life, but so is mature rational thought and planning. And I know you think you have the answers to everything at 19, but a word to the wise... there is a lot to learn about life and the curves it will throw you. If your serious about bringing forth life get yourself on a solid foundation to raise and care for the child first, financially, mentally, and emotionally. There are enough babies having babies on welfare as it is.

Thank you J-9.

WOW! I am just simply amazed at all the "advice" you were given! Contrary to what some believe... There ARE couples out there that make it when they start young. I have been with my high school sweetheart for well we are coming up on 11 years now, maried 7 1/2 years. I got maried just a few days after my 20th birthday and I had our first daughter at the YOUNG age of 19 - We had our first house built when I was 18... Just because you are 19 and want a child doesn't mean you will end up on welfare! I have never been on any government assisted programs and we seem to be doing just fine. I am a stay at home mom we have 3 little girls and another baby due in April... I am here to tell you that if you are READY to settle down then by all means do it! If you let statistics tell you that you will end up divorced, then you will - but if you are determined to not be another statistic you will have the BEST marriage! I am not saying that married life is easy - it has its peaks and valleys but when God is at the center... it sure is much better! My husband and I have not always been on the same page but we are determined to make it through life TOGETHER for better or for worse. Now to get to the real root of the question... why wouldn't you just get married first? Is there something in the way of getting married? There could be several different things going on - have you always had a normal - predictable AF? Do you seem to think that you are indeed ovulating? Some women don't ovulate like normal which causes issues... This last time that DH and I tried we tried for a month and became pregnant but we made sure to BD everyday... I know that's not necessary - but I prayed about it and I really wanted to have an April baby. What is your view on religion? Im sorry that your feedback has not been that positive... but please know that there are people that have been in your shoes that DO make it and end up having a great family/life! :D