Ladies please help

My girl talks to her ex on an almost daily basis, she guards her cell phone with her life when I'm around and she's been sending him emails telling him she loves him and misses him-she sent an e-card through hallmark stating this and when I tried to send my friend a birthday card they came up so I read them and asked her

This guy is total bad news from her past-cheated on her, abused her, alcoholic to boot
She tells me it's nothing and that she just wanted to mess with his head but I checked her phone and she called him again after she told me she wouldn't anymore
Do I need to get out now, will she keep doing this forever?

ladies please help

my girl talks to her ex on an almost daily basis, she guards her cell phone with her life when i'm around and she's been sending him emails telling him she loves him and misses him-she sent an e-card through hallmark stating this and when i tried to send my friend a birthday card they came up so i read them and asked her
this guy is total bad news from her past-cheated on her, abused her, alcoholic to boot
she tells me it's nothing and that she just wanted to mess with his head but i checked her phone and she called him again after she told me she wouldn't anymore
do i need to get out now, will she keep doing this forever?

Not a lady... but my question to you is... why are you still with her if this is true?

I second kc's response...

UMMM RUN, let her have her ex.

Respect yourself, she isn't respecting you.

I third what everyone else has said.

It's time to leave, she doesn't care about you.

RUN! Get out now, before our heart gets more attached

RUN, don't walk RUN away from this relationship. There are wonderful single women out there who will treat you right. Go find one, this chick deserves her ex.
Ber

Red Flag!! Huge one!! She still isn't over him and will probably run back to him soon.

GET OUT NOW!!!!!

She may call herself your girlfriend but in reality she is emotionally still with the ex.You are just a pawn in her game,maybe there to make him jealous.You have heard everyone speak here,get out while you still have yourself respect.

I've seen this ploy before, but only after I found out by finally putting two and two together. She didn't even tell me she was back in contact with her ex... but that's another story. Save yourself some time and energy and cut that cord ASAP.

Run to the hills, run for your life!

It's a pretty bad move sneaking around and reading her emails and logging into some e-card account she has but it seems it helped you see the truth.

There is absolutely nothing you can do here, just leave her.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/why-would-she-lie-316099.html

Ok, now I am confused. Is this your wife we are talking about, not your girl?

How do you make it four years and she is still hung up on an ex?

You need out of this relationship.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/why-would-she-lie-316099.html

Ok, now I am confused. Is this your wife we are talking about, not your girl?

How do you make it four years and she is still hung up on an ex?

You need out of this relationship.



It's the wife... I love her so much... don't want to leave her... I believe that it's nothing, it just hurts

Good luck to you. I am shocked that you believe it is nothing, but I am sure this isn't the last time we will be talking about this problem.

Keep us updated. :)

Wait a minute... your wife still tells her ex that she loves him, and still talks to him in that manner??

Am I the only one with bulging eyes right now?

It's not nothing, you obviously think you will never be able to find another girl and are looking for someone to tell you not to worry about this.

Sounds like your just going to stay with her no matter what anyone says so I don't see a point to this post.

I am going to try and stay with her yeah
And I realize that it is an extremely messed up situation but I love this woman and if I can I want to make this work, I'm not looking for people to tell me it's nothing if I wanted that I would go talk to our mutual friends

I married her beause I trust her... as dumb as that may sound right about now

In the future, I would refer to her as your "wife" and not your "girl." The "girl" makes it sound as if you are in high school or something... just food for thought.

i am going to try and stay with her yeah
and i realize that it is an extremely messed up situation but i love this woman and if i can i want to make this work, im not looking for people to tell me it's nothing if i wanted that i would go talk to our mutual friends

i married her beause i trust her... as dumb as that may sound right about now

Good luck, it is clear that you want to make it work.

We just know from experience that there are HUGE RED FLAGS that will have you back here in a few months talking about how she left you for her ex. Maybe your situation will work out different.

I mean there is a lot more to the story then what I put on here, I guess what I am trying to figure out is if there is any advice on how to get through this is this going to be like this forever or am I eventually going to forget about it... I know I'm dumb but I do believe her when she says it's nothing

I would let her go. Why would you want to be second best over this other guy. And I trusted my ex also and believed her also. Later I find out things and some of her lies. Please let her go or one day your going to regret it when she leaves you for him.

I mean there is alot more to the story then what i put on here, i guess what i am trying to figure out is if there is any advice on how to get through this is this going to be like this forever or am i eventually going to forget about it...i know i'm dumb but i do believe her when she says it's nothing

This is like the third time that I have heard you call yourself dumb, that and this decision shows no respect for yourself, I think you have some self esteem issues that are causing you to cling to her and accept this behavior that is UNACCEPTABLE from a wife.

If you have self esteem issues your relationship will continue on like this because you are her personal doormat.

From seeing 3 separate girls who did this, and two I didn't even like... you're wasting your time with this broad.

She ain't showin' you respect so you're obliged to return the favor. Just walk out with no explanation.

Proud- she is breaking a lot of rules of love here man. Why would you want to work through a marriage where she has no respect for you, you can not trust her, she hides things from you, her HEART is still with someone ELSE. I'm all for wanting people to work through bad times, and issues that can be dealt with- but come on man.. she is walking all over you and it will continue. Why are you staying with this woman? I understand you married her so you feel you have an obligation to her for life- but uhm... it takes two to tango man.. and she already has one foot out the door. Sitting there as her puppet is surely not going to lead to a happy and healthy future :( Good luck man.
THump

Wow, so you are letting her disrespect you in such a bad way. Let us know when you want to pick your b@lls up off the floor. I don't see how you can allow this, she loves another man. How are you okay with that?

Wow, so you are letting her disrespect you in such a bad way. Let us know when you want to pick your b@lls up off the floor. I don't see how you can allow this, she loves another man. How are you okay with that?

Exactly!

How can you possibly be OK with this?

Grow a pair and strap them on.

If she is not willing to work hard in this marriage, trying to leave her past behind and start fresh with you, how can this relationship will ever work out for you??

In the end, you are the one who will be very tired and feel used. Discuss about this matter with her. Tell her firmly that you don't deserve this kind of treatment from her no matter what her reasons are. If she wants to try to work it out then that's a good start. However, if she never start making progress, you should watch out and decide again what's best for you.

Messing with his head would be walking past him with her man in her arms and looking happy! She is messing with your head,

I mean there is alot more to the story then what i put on here, i guess what i am trying to figure out is if there is any advice on how to get through this is this going to be like this forever or am i eventually going to forget about it...i know i'm dumb but i do believe her when she says it's nothing

It is very much something and for some reason you are in horrible denial.

The only way to get through this ,since you are going to allow this horrible treatment is to resign yourself to the fact that you are sharing her affections,and who knows what else with another man.

Are you eventually going to forget about it? I suspect she will continue to have both of you as you seem to be O.K with it,she has no reason to stop.Until such time as she makes a choice and then just dumps you completely.

It is beyond my understanding why you would allow and accept this type of treatment,unless you are swingers and even then there are rules of the game.

No one deserves to be treated this way and you need to ask yourself if you want a lifetime of such treatment.

You let your wife carry on with an ex in this manner?? Confront this and tell her you know everything and its time for her to go. Somebody better leave as this is UNACCEPTABLE!

You need help, and lots of it, if you trust someone you know for a fact is doing WRONG by you! Wife or not.

I am shocked. In comparison to some problems on here and some things people can't deal with yours make them seem insignificant.

YOUR WIFE?! She tells her ex that she misses him and loves him and you sit there doing nothing - there is no mutual respect in this relationship, no real trust and it will end with you being very very hurt

You need to get out mate, all of us loved those who we were with but all decided to leave. Granted this situation is a little different as you are married but its also all the more reason for you to get out, you two are husband and wife 'til death do us part' and she is on the phone to her ex, it is really beyond me how you stick through this - you are just blinded because you don't want to be alone, you think you are still with her but if you just take a step back and think about it, you really really aren't. Was she like this when you were dating?

Get a one way ticket and don't ever come back

This is a pretty harsh board... proudpole, you said that there's more to this whole situation what exactly is the more??

You have said a few negative things about you girl's ex. Just think of what he's saying about you? If your girl talks to him every day, she must have lots to say. Do you think she's telling him how happy she is with you?

I lived that situation from the other side. My boyfriend's ex girlfriend used to call him and tell him how her new boyfriends are lacking. She would then ask him out "as just friends." She certainly didn't respect her new boyfriends, or me.