DirtyHippieFeet
Feb 8, 2009, 12:28 PM
I'm a lesbian and I was dating this girl for approximately a year. I met her several years ago in a class I took and I knew from the moment I saw her that she was something special. I pursued her for about three years before actually getting the courage to let someone else know how I felt. Soon enough she found out and she asked me to the movies.
It started slow because she wasn't really "out" and I had never dated a girl openly before. But, within a few weeks she was driving me over to all of her friend's places to show off her "hot new girlfriend". It felt so amazing to have someone be that proud of me. We would talk for hours on the phone at night, just rambling. Saying nothing of importance. She and I would send each other the most lovey dovey text messages known to mankind.
Around a month into the relationship, we became sexually intimate with each other. She was a virgin, which was fine with me. I tried to take things slow and at her pace, because I knew she wasn't too big on at least letting people know that we were sexually active. If I was to joke about it, she would get very appalled and upset with me.
Months pass and I notice in myself that I am slowly becoming less satisfied with her. At the beginning of our relationship she was so proud of being my girlfriend and then she stopped holding my hand in public places. She stopped texting me sweet nothings, while I still continued to do so, and she stopped calling me as much.
I begun to grow suspicious that there was someone else. I began doing what any suspicious girlfriend does, I searched. Earlier that day she had showed me her old Youtube account, and I still had it on my computer's browser. She told me a few months back that she had an "internet relationship" thing going on with this girl who lived in Canada (I think). Anways, I went to her old account to check it out. Turns out that a good two months into our relationship and she was still telling the girl how much she misses her and wants to see her. I was crushed. I called her in hysterics and she apologized and got angry at ME for searching in the first place.
Things slowly started to go downhill from there. I started fighting with her over the littlest things, like her not texting me or calling me when she was supposed to, to her blowing me off to play video games and ignoring my calls. February 1st 2009 at around one in the morning, her and I were laying in bed and I asked her why she wasn't sexually active with me anymore. She told me that she felt she hadn't been "ready" and she thought she could change that which is why she hadn't told me sooner. I had a melt down. She had been pulling away from me for several months and I thought that that could have been the only culprit. I was so distraught because I thought that I had hurt her, that I had abused her in some way.
That night I told her I couldn't take it anymore. She begged and pleaded with me to stay, she told me all the things we could do if we are "abstinent", and she told me she loved me. I told her I just couldn't do it, and I left. The next morning I gathered all of her things and put them in a bag along with the present I had made her for valentines day. I returned them to her house, but I didn't use the front door because she wasn't out to her folks yet and I didn't want to make a huge scene. I knocked on her window and woke her up, she came to the back door. First thing she said to me was "In this house we use the front door". I explained myself and gave her the stuff, almost in tears I told her that it was over. She looks at me and says "Can I go back to sleep now?"
The whole way home I cried. For the past week I've been crying. She and I have made up and talked things out, and she says that I hurt her by leaving that night and by ending it. She says she wants to be friends, I want her back. I've been working on the way I treat her, and I've been trying to show her that I love her, because I guess I didn't manage to do it enough before. Her and I are on talking terms, but I'm so worried she'll meet someone else. All of our mutual friends tell me that she is really hurt and to give her some time, and that she loves me still. I am just looking for ways to get her back. I miss her, I just want her to miss me too. I used to do everything for her, rub her back, pluck her eyebrows, do her laundry, make her bed, make her food, I even stayed in the bathroom with her while she was on the toilet in excruciating pain from a kidney infection. I waited on her hand and foot, and all I wanted was love in return. I just don't know what to do.
How can I get her back?
What do I have to do?
It started slow because she wasn't really "out" and I had never dated a girl openly before. But, within a few weeks she was driving me over to all of her friend's places to show off her "hot new girlfriend". It felt so amazing to have someone be that proud of me. We would talk for hours on the phone at night, just rambling. Saying nothing of importance. She and I would send each other the most lovey dovey text messages known to mankind.
Around a month into the relationship, we became sexually intimate with each other. She was a virgin, which was fine with me. I tried to take things slow and at her pace, because I knew she wasn't too big on at least letting people know that we were sexually active. If I was to joke about it, she would get very appalled and upset with me.
Months pass and I notice in myself that I am slowly becoming less satisfied with her. At the beginning of our relationship she was so proud of being my girlfriend and then she stopped holding my hand in public places. She stopped texting me sweet nothings, while I still continued to do so, and she stopped calling me as much.
I begun to grow suspicious that there was someone else. I began doing what any suspicious girlfriend does, I searched. Earlier that day she had showed me her old Youtube account, and I still had it on my computer's browser. She told me a few months back that she had an "internet relationship" thing going on with this girl who lived in Canada (I think). Anways, I went to her old account to check it out. Turns out that a good two months into our relationship and she was still telling the girl how much she misses her and wants to see her. I was crushed. I called her in hysterics and she apologized and got angry at ME for searching in the first place.
Things slowly started to go downhill from there. I started fighting with her over the littlest things, like her not texting me or calling me when she was supposed to, to her blowing me off to play video games and ignoring my calls. February 1st 2009 at around one in the morning, her and I were laying in bed and I asked her why she wasn't sexually active with me anymore. She told me that she felt she hadn't been "ready" and she thought she could change that which is why she hadn't told me sooner. I had a melt down. She had been pulling away from me for several months and I thought that that could have been the only culprit. I was so distraught because I thought that I had hurt her, that I had abused her in some way.
That night I told her I couldn't take it anymore. She begged and pleaded with me to stay, she told me all the things we could do if we are "abstinent", and she told me she loved me. I told her I just couldn't do it, and I left. The next morning I gathered all of her things and put them in a bag along with the present I had made her for valentines day. I returned them to her house, but I didn't use the front door because she wasn't out to her folks yet and I didn't want to make a huge scene. I knocked on her window and woke her up, she came to the back door. First thing she said to me was "In this house we use the front door". I explained myself and gave her the stuff, almost in tears I told her that it was over. She looks at me and says "Can I go back to sleep now?"
The whole way home I cried. For the past week I've been crying. She and I have made up and talked things out, and she says that I hurt her by leaving that night and by ending it. She says she wants to be friends, I want her back. I've been working on the way I treat her, and I've been trying to show her that I love her, because I guess I didn't manage to do it enough before. Her and I are on talking terms, but I'm so worried she'll meet someone else. All of our mutual friends tell me that she is really hurt and to give her some time, and that she loves me still. I am just looking for ways to get her back. I miss her, I just want her to miss me too. I used to do everything for her, rub her back, pluck her eyebrows, do her laundry, make her bed, make her food, I even stayed in the bathroom with her while she was on the toilet in excruciating pain from a kidney infection. I waited on her hand and foot, and all I wanted was love in return. I just don't know what to do.
How can I get her back?
What do I have to do?