Hey guys just to start I'm Kayla ;

Well, Recently my sister has opened up to my mother telling her that she was bi-sexaual, my mother said that she kind of already knew and that she accepted her the way she was and she can't change the way she is, but she said that's a sin in the bible.

My sister said she knows that but there is nothing in the bible that says you can't love your own gender.

My mother said that well she doesn't know if my father can handle it in the situation we have right.

My sister said she understands.

But then later on in the week, my mother started to give me impressions that she didn't accept my sister the way she is. Yesterday we went to my sisters dance performance to get them all hyped up for their competition and stuff. Then we got hot dog's while my sister was practicing her solo in a room getting ready to perform, and my mother asked me to give the hot dog to her, but I said you can give it to her, and she said I don't have but one daughter anymore, so I gave it to my sister and I ran back out to my mom asking her what her problem was.

She said what ? What are you talking about?

I said Mom, Don't act like you know don't know what I'm talking about. If I think your talking about what I know your talking about then I already know, ( I was talking about my sister being Bi )

My Mother said , welll...

I didn't let her finish , I said well you said that you accepted her... but look at you now. I understand, then I walked away.

I had so many secrets I was hiding , I am also bi, I have not told anyone, but when my sister told me that my mother accepted her the way she was I was about to tell her at the right time, then I see that she didn't accept her anymore, so now I can't look at my mother the same way anymore, I don't call her my hero anymore.

My sister told my mother that she was bi, because she thought she would accept her and understand how she feels, but she didn't.

So now everyone is crying, leaving home not coming back for awhile, I don't know what to do.

Help me please, I've been crying a lot.

But I see my mother has been crying more.

Several thoughts come to mind here.

1. You did not say how old you were, or your parents, but I suspect they are "old school" when it comes to this. They grew up in a time where you just kept that stuff in the closet and lock, barricade and chain the door and never let it see the light of day.

2. I am a mother and I am trying to put myself in those shoes and try to imagine what I would feel like if one of my children came to me with this news. I am going to try to be real honest here. I would probably be saddened because it did not line up with my dreams for my child. All the while knowing in my head it was not about MY dreams. What my child wanted trumps all.

3. Still being honest here. I think I would take it as a glitch in my dream and not a major catastrophe. Catastrophe would be one of your daughters dying. If someone could explain this to her, she would see what is REALLY important. She still has her daughters and this is just a "glitch in the plan." Very much pales in comparison to a real catastrophe.

4. You say you and your sister are bi, not gay. Is there a stronger preference of one sex over the other? The only thing about being bi, is that it makes it more difficult to understand. It means you have a choice so why not choose the path of least resistance? I'm not saying you should limit yourself to one gender that you fall in love with. I really don't think you should cater to societies expectation of who you love. I've never spoken to a bi and I am curious as to your reason for not choosing the easiest path.

4. If I am wondering that, I bet your mother is to. She is thinking, "if either one will do, why not go after a male?" It sounds like you need to have a long sit down with Mom, tell her about your feelings, how long you've had them, why you won't limit yourselves to one gender, etc. It is a gigantic mystery to her and we fear what we don't know. Help her to understand.

5. Is she really in to religion? That bible dogma is some potent stuff to some people. If it says it's a sin, they are all over that. She is probably worried sick, since she believes you are not going to heaven. Religion! Bla!

6. It is a burden to her now. She is carrying around this secret that she is afraid to share with your dad. It is not fair to her. You are both big girls and you know who you are and what you want, and you should be the one to tell Dad. If we are going to be truthful, you might as well go all the way.

7. Just say, we love you, it's nothing you have done or not done, and we hope you still love us. (I am a parent and they WILL LOVE YOU till their dying day.) They may not behave as well as they should, but mom, and later dad will have to adjust to the shock of this news. Be patient with them, don't change for them, and know that a parent NEVER stops loving their children. Good luck through all this and come on out of the closet.

I'm 13 and my sister is 16 going on 17.

I am also scared to tell my mother I am bi, I don't know how she would take it knowing that my sister is bi as well.

Earlier today she was on the phone with a really close cousin. She was crying on the phone saying she feels lost and she can't even talk to her own family without problems going on.

And my father.. I don't know about him, see with him, everything is different, I don't really know how he would take it either. He has a very big temper. I don't know if it would make him mad and make him leave. But I don't care what other people say about bi's and lesbian's and gay's if you found love then you found it.

My sister also has a girlfriend already.

Hey lifeishell,

I went through what you and your sister are going through now.
I came out to my mother and although she loved me she found it very hard to accept. We became curt and civil for over 6 months. They were some of the hardest months I've ever had to get through and I was 20 when I came out.

Is there somewhere you sister, and possibly you, can go stay for a week or so?

Give your mom some time to breath, it could be hugely beneficial of it is a viable option, this is a lot to take in.

As long as you have been planning your life, she's been planning it probably 20 years longer than that! This is not what a straight man or woman expects from their child. No matter how un-PC it is. It's the truth. That's not to say that it is unacceptable or there is anything wrong with it just that it is unexpected.

Your mom is probably scared out of her wits. For herself but mostly for your sister. You have no idea the trials that come with being out. It is, by all means, a lot easier than it was years ago. But by no means easy. It is the harder route in life but that is not to discourage you from being yourself.

As for yourself, I think you are very young to be making decisions on your sexuality. I'm not saying that you are not bisexual I'm just saying that at 13 there's no need to be making life changing decisions. Try to be happy and the answers will come to you.

As for your father, if he 'gets mad' which he might, that does not warrant leaving! If your father was to leave it would have nothing to do with you or your sister or either of your sexualities. It has to do with your father as an adult making a decision. Please don't blame yourself or your sister for anything that goes on with your parents. Their relationship has been going on a lot longer than you have been around, it's how you got here! And is a lot more complicated than him leaving because of his child's sexuality.

Hope this finds you well.

Your more than welcome to pm me if you'd like to chat further.