okay, So I'm dating this very shy girl. This girl is good looking and has a clean inside. She is straight forward and friendly. But very shy. She is getting over a long distance relationship which hasn't really worked out since 3 years.

We've been on 5 dates in the past month. Movies, beaches, hills, walking, lunch, you name it. Our date starts early in the day and we somehow end up at a scenic place spending the final 2~3 hours just talking about random stuff. Im am very shy myself. But, I have been trying hard to get this thing going...

Problem: I am not sure if she even likes me. I do know that we are dating and not outing as friends. We haven't yet held hands or even kissed. Its strange and sad at times. She's not like others. She's not into talking over the phone or email and text messaging. She only texts me back if its un-avoidable like fixing a time to meet up..

I maybe very bad at picking up signs from this girl. But she doesn't make things obvious too. Im kind of hurt with this situation. How do I know that this is her being shy and not her just giving me company at these outings. We do have sparks of chemistry every now and then. But I feel that the distance between us is still the same since we first dated. How can I help this situation. Please remember that I do have patience and I know good things take time. My aim is NOT to get in her pants!

How can I find out what's going through her head?

We are both in our early 20s.

Try holding her hand.


If neither of you is giving away any signs then how can it go anywhere.

Take the plunge! What's the worse that can happen?

Just date, and enjoy yourself as it may take more than a month, or 5 dates for you both to open up, and know each other well enough to be comfortable. Just be a fun guy, and a gentleman, and pay attention, and don't let her style make you insecure. What's your hurry to hold hands, and have shows of affections?

Maybe she's thinking the same way as him?

Maybe she just wants a nudge in the right direction, you don't want to drop into friends zone you know?

Hmm, yes I guess only time will tell. Meanwhile I will be sensible, patient and most importantly make sure that the dates are fun. I do sound like Im rushing.. lets see where this goes. ;)
Thanks anyway..

Why don't you just ask her straight out plus what does it mean she has a clean inside??

Just continue to date and enjoy the company, things will fall into place accordingly.

No need to hurry - you will kiss when the moment comes and holds hands when it seems normal - she had a hard long distance relationship, it is normal that she isn't rushing or not doing anything..

You wouldn't think this girl was so nice if she jumped straight in with you after her long distance relationship.

Just see how it goes but don't fall into the friend zone - innocent flirting kind of thing but no forward advances just yet. Give her some time and more dates. Take it slowish

why don't you just ask her straight out plus what does it mean she has a clean inside???

It means that she is good inside too. Not greedy selfish or bad. She is very beautiful and a kind person.

Be patient.If she likes, she will let you know

it means that she is good inside too. not greedy selfish or bad. She is very beautiful and a kind person.


Oh thought it meant something else, sorry me and my dirty mind!!

Be patient.If she likes, she will let you know

Yep, that's where I'm heading.. :rolleyes:

blue_st4r:

Let's dig a little deeper to get to the root first. What is her family background and relationships with her parents? Was any parent an alcoholic or was she abandoned due to divorce or abuse?

I have an idea that may help you understand where she is coming from and then help you to see if she is interested.

blue_st4r:

Let's dig a little deeper to get to the root first. What is her family background and relationships with her parents? Was any parent an alcoholic or was she abandoned due to divorce or abuse?

I have an idea that may help you understand where she is coming from and then help you to see if she is interested.

Her family background is normal as anyone else's. Both her parents are fine. She doesn't come from a dysfunctional family.. :cool: