Sorry for the super long post.. I don't know how to put what I'm thinking and feeling into a coherent sort of thing because there are too many factors going into my "question". So. I will tell you the facts, and then see where things go.

I am a nympho. I always have been. I love sex, I love intimacy.

I am submissive. My fiancé is also submissive. He will do anything I ask, but ONLY if I ask.

Until recently, he never initiated sex. I had to ask every time I wanted it.. Which caused me to have a lot of issues.. I felt unwanted, unsexy, and everything else a woman could feel when she doesn't think that she is good enough for her man. We have had a few conversations about the topic and now he at least tries to initiate sex every so often..

Because he never initiated sex, I never wanted to ask for foreplay. I would suck him often, 99% of the time plus times when we didn't even make love afterward. I wanted him to do that to me too! I gave him all kinds of attention, not just oral, and the only thing I got from him was sex.

Until him, I had never gotten off with a man (excluding the few times I've done anal). Nobody I've been with has ever gotten me off without my help. And only one other guy has even bothered. I didn't care then, because none of them were my fiancé.. But now that I HAVE a fiancé, I want him to WANT to make me feel as good as I make him. I have to ask him to play with me.. It's not that he won't do it when I ask, but I get really annoyed that I have to ask in the first place. Shouldn't he get the urges to make me feel good? I get those urges all the time.. And act on them accordingly. He's never asked me to go down on him, yet I regularly do so, lovingly and with no complaints.

Sex with him for the last year has been pretty boring. There was never any foreplay because he never offered it. I never wanted to ask for it because I felt like I was an inconvenience.. That if he wanted to make me feel good, he would at least say something, ask if he didn't know what to do, you know?

After 365 days of him not initiating sex or even telling me he wanted to make me feel good.. Well, it kind of made me a bit loopy.

Now, we're in the process of working through the issues.. He has initiated things a couple times in the last month. He even tied me up and got me super ready once.. Which was absolutely amazing.

Which reminds me. We've only had absolutely amazing sex twice. TWICE. And by amazing, I mean that he actually gets me wet beforehand and I don't have to use lube. And I can actually get off without jumping through mental hoops to get there. It's amazing when it works like that.. But it doesn't happen unless he makes it obvious that he's trying to make me feel good.

So anyway, like I said, he's trying now.. But even when he does do things for me, I still have a mental roadblock. I can relax, I can get into things, but I'm constantly wishing that he would do more for me. I know that sounds selfish, but to tell you the absolute truth I don't think that it is. I don't nag him, I've only brought up the topic 4 or 5 times, and each time he says he will change, and he does for a day or two afterward.. But after that it's back to normal.

I don't feel entitled.. Well, in a way I do, I want my man to want and desire me like I want and desire him.. Which he does.. But I want him to desire to please me just like I desire to please him. Granted, I have more experience than him.. But that really doesn't have much to do with anything. Every time we do something new that I like, or even if he does something old that I like, I tell him how much I love what he's doing. I encourage instead of berate. I suggest instead of condemn. I never make it out to be a bad thing to him.. It's always in the tone of wanting to make things better for us, not telling him he sucks and he'd better do what I say..

Anyway. I'm trying to let all of this go.. So!

I really love my man, but our sex life.. Well I need more. He has little desire and even when he does, I can easily satisfy him but he is incapable of returning the favor.. And I'm really not THAT difficult to please. If he would even get me turned on before sex, I would be happy. And that is no biggie. Spank me, talk dirty, little things that show that he's really into making me feel good, you know? I'm afraid that his lack of interest is because I'm not doing my job.. And that makes me feel absolutely horrible.

He's a good man. Really, he is. Outside of the bedroom he is damn near perfect. We have the same interests.. He's so caring, we cuddle all the time. He kisses me every chance he gets.. But when we get to the getting to it part, it's like he freezes.

If I could tell him exactly what I want all of the time, I would. But I don't know what I want! I've never had a man interested in finding my spots.. Or playing with me until I beg him to stop.. Or trying to see how many times he can get me off (I've never had multiple orgasms.. Or vaginal.. Or g-spot.. ). I need him to enjoy taking the time to get to know my body. I want him to be the only person in the world who knows precisely how to take me to the height of pleasure. I would be happy if he would take the time to just.. I don't know..

I don't even know what my question is.. I just wanted to get all of this off my chest I suppose.. And hear someone else's opinion. Am I retarded? Are we just not compatible in bed? I consider myself an extremely patient person.. Very open, not dramatic.. I feel like I've done all I can do. I love him. Absolutely, whole-heartedly, unabashedly.. However. I will not do myself the disservice of marrying a man who is unwilling or unable to treat me how I think I should be treated. I am a very sexual person.. Very kinky.. I give amazing head.. I always thought that when I found the man of my dreams that he would realize how awesome I am and treat me as such.. I hate to sound full of myself, I'm really not. I just want what everyone else wants. To be appreciated.

So what should I do? Give it more time? Should we have yet another one-sided discussion? If you think that with our open communication and the fact that he IS trying, maybe we can work it out, how should I go about working things out between us? It IS a lot in my head after all.

If you've read this far, would you at least give me a comment? Anything, even a single sentence.. Thanks in advance. :)

He sounds like he is a little inhibited and maybe he is a little intimidated by your prowess and your heightened sexual appetite.

Be sure to stroke his ego along with everything else and you might get a little further.

Will say more later.. gotta go

I might agree that he is inhibited.. But he has never mentioned anything about my sexual prowess.. Good or bad.

As for stroking his ego, I've been on a mission in the last six or so months. Every day I find at least one thing to compliment him on. I find creative ways to tell him how attractive he is to me, and he returns the sentiments albeit less creatively lol.. My favorite nickname for him is "manly man".

Whenever I sense that he feels awkward about something, or that he doesn't like something about himself, I make sure to let him know that not only do I not mind, it actually makes him more attractive to me.For example, he had to have surgery on his a few years back, and now he has a chunk missing from the top of his butt cheek.. He acted weird about it for a while, but I make sure to rub it every once in a while and tell him how sexy his butt is..

I do all kinds of random sweet stuff like that for him.. And he sure soaks it up... :D

Ok, first I want to say, I am not sure WHY you call yourself a Nymphomaniac. A healthy desire for sex is good, but to actually BE a nympho, sex must be controlling your life. You would be having sex with every guy- and Probably girls. An actual nymphomaniac would need diagnosed.
Ok, next, if you are able to talk and tell him what you NEED from him, you might get it, but since neither of you are the dominant partner, you Will have this problem... Whisper in his ear what you want him to do to you. How it will feel. Make it exciting. Read books and try new things. If sex is boring, you Can change it!

From what you said, I would say that you are confused and overly talk-y.

You can't make a person be something he is not. Perhaps, a sex therapist is in order here to help you communicate with your boyfriend. :)

Best wishes, :)

I wasn't aware that talk-y was a bad thing.. Or even a thing. :P I've considered going into writing a few times. I can write and write and not even realize how much I've written. Comes in handy when I'm writing stupid papers. ;)

Actually, it turns out that after getting all of that out of my system I've kind of worked my own stuff out.. I guess I could have just typed all of it into notepad and not bothered you lol.

So I just stopped being retarded and actually told him what to do. Turns out he loved being told what to do, I got what I wanted, and we're both happy. Yeah. I'm retarded. Anyway, thanks for the help.. Kind of.. lol

You asking for sex may be what turns him on. He probably fell so deep in love with you because you are a nympho and you ask for sex. A lot of women including myself have issues adking for sex. I really think you should play the domintaing role in sex telling him what u want and when you want it and include the foreplay you need to get wet. Your man obviously does want you if he's getting sexually aroused when you ask for sex and if he initiates it too.

So really there is no problem if you just speak up a little more and play the role of the dominatrix... I think he'll fall in a even deeper love with you for that.

Is he one of those "nice guys"? He sounds really insecure.

He may be a "nice guy" but he doesn't sound like the "right guy".

As you mention you are both submissive... instead of demanding he change, why don't you change... it won't be any more difficult for you to stop being submissive than it will be for him, its nature... some are, some aren't.

But seriously, I'd rather you see this for what it is... incompatability.

I evaluated myself.. Really thought back to all the times I've said I was submissive. And I believe that when I thought my actions to be submissive, I was actually being in control from the bottom. What I love is the attention I get when I'm submissive. I focus way more on what I'm getting than I do pleasing the person I'm with. My fiancé isn't like any guy I've ever been with. He will do anything I ask of him, no matter what it is, and he loves it.

I have had some serious issues. Every time he was telling me that he wanted to please me, I was thinking back to all the other men who never bothered to try. I would lay there and think about what I would rather have him do for me.. Rather than just telling him. I've realized that he isn't much of a mind reader lol.

For the longest time, sex was the only attention that I wanted from men. Because I had never been with a guy like the one I'm with now, I just assumed that what he was just telling me what I wanted to hear.. He was telling me that he wanted me to tell him what I needed, and I was too busy thinking about all the times that I didn't get what I want. It's hard to get your hopes up about stuff like that when you've been let down so many times before, you know?

Anyway, I've always been playful in bed. It was only a matter of time before I discovered my dominant streak. ;) I never wanted to fully explore it because I thought that I would never get "attention" like I did when I was submissive.. Until I realized that I could tell him to do anything that I wanted. Anything at all. And he would snap to it before I had even finished telling him what I wanted.

It's hard to be selfish for so long and then come across someone you never thought you would find. I'm discovering new things about him and about us daily. Once I decided that the past isn't worth worrying about, and to take things at face value rather than worry about the what ifs, things have been lovely. I haven't had a single negative thought about him or our relationship since I wrote this thread a couple days ago. I'm finding that things are a lot more fun when I just go with the flow, so to speak. ;)