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mstink25
Aug 11, 2006, 06:43 AM
Where do you begin to adopt a child? What is the best route?
My life partner & I want a baby to love. We are not legally "partners"/ or married as of yet. Should I go about this as single before we legalize? I don't know legally how we can go about this, what the laws are in Fla. In a heterosexual relationship it's always better as that married couple, but that probably is not the case in female/ female relationship.

mstink25
Aug 11, 2006, 06:57 AM
What can you do in a female/female relationship legally to adopt a baby together? We live in Fla. And have not yet made each other legal life partners. How can you get around the laws? Shall I do it single?

collinsmom
Aug 25, 2006, 03:46 PM
Hello, I have adopted with in agency in Indianapolis, but they have agency around the country. It's the Independent Adoption Center (or I.A.C.). You can look them up on the internet. They work with many same sex couples looking to adopt (as well as married and single parents). Because every state has their own adoption laws, I can't say what Florida holds for you... but the agencies would. My husband and I count our blessings every day for our son. We hope to adopt (or have one naturally if God permits) very soon. It's a rollercoaster ride, but the result is well worth it. Take care and good luck!

Rocktosh
Sep 4, 2006, 10:55 PM
As I understand it, Florida is the only state in the country that does not allow gay people to adopt under any circumstances. Sad but true.
You may remember a case that got a lot of attention in the media a couple of years ago. A gay couple (men) were foster parents for several kids and had been for years but could not adopt them. But since all the kids had some sort of problems, including a few kids who were HIV positive, it didn't make a practical difference as they would be able to raise all the kids to adulthood as foster parents.
The problem came along when child protective services came along and wanted to remove a six year old (I believe) whom the couple had raised since he was a baby and put him up for adoption. The boy had been placed with them as he tested positive for HIV as a baby. But later, at the age of six, he no longer tested positive for the virus (it happens sometimes with children born with HIV). Now, as a healthy, white little boy he was no longer un-adoptable so child protective services wanted to take the boy away from the only parents he had ever known and place him with a heterosexual couple.
The gay couple contacted the media after they had been denied as adoptive prents for the little boy.

So, since you live in a state with stone age laws like this one you would most likely not be approved as an adoptive parent if they find out that you are gay. And before you can be approved you will have to go through a home study where the adoption agency, or state agency, will do a very thorough investigation of everything in your life. I have never had one done, though I have read a lot about it, and I think it may be difficult to hide that fact and just adopt as single.
I'm sorry to be so negative. I'd really like to tell you something better, but unfortunately Florida is notorious for this. Maybe you could consider to move to another state. I know many stated have pretty liberal adoption laws and there are adoption agencies that cater to gay couples.
Sometimes I know that it may be easier for gay couples to adopt out of foster care though. Many times it can be very difficult to get a healthy baby to adopt and unfortunately it seems that the more "perfect", well to do heterosexual couples get picked for these babies first. There are tens of thousands of great kids out there of all shapes and sizes who are waiting for loving parents.

Good Luck,

Rocktosh