How do you know if it is love? Silly question, and most likely a cliché, but how can you be sure?

Love takes time... love is real... love true - with respect for each other unconditionally, trust.

People ALWAYS confuse smitten, lust, infatuation etc. with love.

Yes wildcat is right.
It won't be love if you have only just met her. You will grow in love with a person over time as you get to know them

You will know it is love as much by the feelings you get back from your partner as your own. The feeling of being in love is only bettered by the feeling of knowing your partner loves you too.

But these feelings develop. They don't just appear!

I'm assuming you have a partner and are wondering if the feelings you have are love? Or what prompted this question?

Appropriate concern of hurting or being hurt makes you cautious of love at first. Curiosity about love keeps you investigating. Consistent experience lets you build trust of love. Thrilling feelings talks you into risking vulnerability for love. Communication and lots of it grows the love deeper. But it really is TIME (with all those other things present too) that tells you that it is indeed REAL LOVE.

Exactly what I was thinking val but had trouble putting it in words.
Isn't it a very difficult thing to answer? How do you know if it is love? It is a hard feeling to describe.
But you did it magnificently as usual val.

How do you feel about the person? How do you relate to them on a day-to-day basis? Do you feel a genuine sense of empathy for them and is their well-being at the forefront of your concerns? How about when your interests clash? Do you seek a workable compromise or do you hold out for things to go your way or become angry and resentful if they don't? Do you truly enjoy being with them and do you miss them when they're not around? These are some things to ask yourself when trying to decide whether it's love.

Yes wildcat is right.
it wont be love if you have only just met her. you will grow in love with a person over time as you get to know them

You will know it is love as much by the feelings you get back from your partner as your own. The feeling of being in love is only bettered by the feeling of knowing your partner loves you too.

But these feelings develop. they dont just appear!

im assuming you have a partner and are wondering if the feelings you have are love? or what prompted this question?


It is like noting I have ever experienced. I crave his company, even for just a second in a day. He says he is in love with me, but I have never felt it. Certainly I am feeling more strongly than I ever have, but I don't want to rush anything. I mean, there is time after all for things to be affirmed, right?

Appropriate concern of hurting or being hurt makes you cautious of love at first. Curiosity about love keeps you investigating. Consistent experience lets you build trust of love. Thrilling feelings talks you into risking vulnerability for love. Communication and lots of it grows the love deeper. But it really is TIME (with all those other things present too) that tells you that it is indeed REAL LOVE.

Yes, I think you are right. I mean, I don't mind if it takes the rest of my life!

How do you feel about the person? How do you relate to them on a day-to-day basis? Do you feel a genuine sense of empathy for them and is their well-being at the forefront of your concerns? How about when your interests clash? Do you seek a workable compromise or do you hold out for things to go your way or become angry and resentful if they don't? Do you truly enjoy being with them and do you miss them when they're not around? These are some things to ask yourself when trying to decide whether or not it's love.

Every time I see him I am in a good mood. We are very verbal together, and we challenge one another every day. We have clshing interests, but it seems so unimportant. Yes to everything good - scary!

just asking... so infatuation is like having a crush on someone, and love is 2 people crush on each other?

I know love, but not that technical details =P

just asking... so infatuation is like having a crush on someone, and love is 2 people crush on each other?

i know love, but not that technical details =P

:p I have no idea! It is so complicated! Ha ha ha!

I think I got it correct.

Infatuation is a crush on someone, someone you really really admire or like. Pretty superficial stuff.

Love is when its 2 way feelings. You both love each other. More realistic, and mature.

Love comes in time. Love comes when you are both in love with each other and would do anything for one another.
Love can often be mixed up with lust.
Like lust at first sight!

Well certainly I am attracted to him, no doubt, but it is more than that. I don't want anyone else to have him ever, and I don't want anyone else.

Sounds like you are falling in love...

I am scared to.

Why?

I think it is just because its so final, and also that it could end. It feels like I have this huge thing to lose, which is wonderful and scary too.

Is the feeling between you mutual?

He says that there is no other for him and that he will marry me. He says in time I will come to see that it simply cannot be any other way, lol :p He is older than I am and he knows what he wants. I am still young and finiky!

Sounds like the feeling is mutual.
If you truly know you want this then get scared together as long as its mutual :)

I think I will do that. It is worth it. :D

Deep down we all know when its worthed :)
And seems like you know the score.
Good Luck and enjoy xx

Sounds like the feeling is mutual.
If you truly know you want this then get scared together as long as its mutual :)
I like that word Krs, MUTUAL Love is a journey that two people take for the rest of their lives going over valleys and hills working together to keep going. Working together to build a mutual place to raise kids and be comfortable and above all to enjoy, and help, and support, to cry, and suffer together. To share, to honor, to respect, Giving 100% and getting 100%, to experience everything together. Love grows over time and space. Learning never stops, Communication and listening and accepting and caring, are the foundation for a strong relationship that can withstand all the storms of life. Honesty is the glue that keeps the bond strong. No, its not always pretty, sometimes it ain't no fun, But its always challenging, and when you have it your happy. Both of you are.

I like that word Krs, MUTUAL Love is a journey that two people take for the rest of their lives going over valleys and hills working together to keep going. Working together to build a mutual place to raise kids and be comfortable and above all to enjoy, and help, and support, to cry, and suffer together. to share, to honor, to respect, Giving 100% and getting 100%, to experience everything together. Love grows over time and space. Learning never stops, Communication and listening and accepting and caring, are the foundation for a strong relationship that can withstand all the storms of life. Honesty is the glue that keeps the bond strong. No, its not always pretty, sometimes it ain't no fun, But its always challenging, and when you have it your happy. Both of you are.

That was so well written, so touching.

As Wildcat said, love is often confused with lust, infatuation etc, Love is when after time has passed you still get a warm feeling when you see him. Love is when you can sit comfortably together in silence and have a good time. It is when you respect, trust and like him for what he is and the feeling is mutual. Love is when no matter where you are with him, you feel like you are home.

Enough said. Just read tals great post over and over.
Everyone should read that before they decide to marry and see if that's the way they feel.
At least now after reading that I know I have loved.
Many that come here have not. They have only lusted.
Awesome Tal!!

Every time I've asked friends what love is I usually get the same response... "It's different for everyone." Personally, I like the answers on here much much better. They are concrete and from people who have experienced love.

I would also like to add my two cents. A few people have mentioned that love has to be mutual, and when its only one person then it's infatuation. I'm going to have to disagree. I think that one person can be in love with another even if the feelings, for whatever reason, are not returned. However, the type of love that is stronger then anything that can be imagined, the love that truly conquers all, is the love that is mutual.

Just my two cents.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. X

[QUOTE=confused25]I would also like to add my two cents. A few people have mentioned that love has to be mutual, and when its only one person then it's infatuation. I'm going to have to disagree. I think that one person can be in love with another even if the feelings, for whatever reason, are not returned. However, the type of love that is stronger then anything that can be imagined, the love that truly conquers all, is the love that is mutual. [QUOTE]

I think what was meant to say is that love can be confused with Lust and Infatuation. Of course someone can love even if its not returned. But what we are trying to say is that if the Love is mutual then the relationship is stronger!

Do things change after you admit you love someone?

Yes, I think I felt a sense of relief since it was a mutual declaration. And we were more free to express all our feelings more deeply, with less self consciousness, less concern.

Did it ever kind of fade away?

Silly it may sound, but Love is when you KNOW it is Love. If you're still questioning it, then its not yet.

True love is purely unconditional.

Depends when you admit it. I persnal feel love ca not happen for 6 months or a year. People make mistakes when they feel love - it's infatuation, lust, smitten.

I know several people WHO THOUGHT thye were in love - got married after 9 months... only to realize they were not in love after marri9age and actually married some screwed up monster.

Love is one of the pure mysteries of life. It's both a curse and a gift.

Loving that person more that you love yourself!