cdaes
Feb 4, 2009, 10:11 PM
I am no longer in love with my husband but want another child
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have been married for 7 years. I don't want to be in the marriage anymore. I don't love him and am not in love with him anymore, since about 2 years ago. We have a 3 year old. I am a child of divorce and I made a promise to myself that I would try my best not to have my daughter grow up in a broken home. The major strife that started my indifference is that he smokes and I despise smoking. He had promised to quit when he asked me to marry and did for awhile and then went right back. Its now 7 years later. I am 38, he is 48. I am his second marriage. If I had the money I would leave him. When he's not home I dance around the house and feel so free. I wish he wouldn't touch me and I hate him bringing his cigarette trail of smoke into the house and the bed. I once had an asthma-like attack that woke me out of my sleep when he came back in from smoking at 2am. (I don't have asthma)
He is also depressed and angry about things in his past, he lashes out at people including my mom for justifiable reason. I think he is jealous that I have a caring family and he came from a very dysfunctional home where the siblings and parents don't get along. He gets upset if I side with my mom, but that's because he has no idea how irate he can get. And since I don't want to be with him anyway, I would choose my family over him any day. I think, as a man, he thinks that since I finally give in sexually in the middle of the night I must still love him. My daughter is now having breathing problems and has been put on a breathing machine to be used 3x a day. He gets defensive when the doctor talks to him. My dilemna is, whether I should stay in this loveless marriage in order to have at least one more child. I don't have much time to meet someone else, fall in love, marry. My clock is ticking. For now, I am thinking about sticking it out in order to have one more child before I hit 40 and then leave him. I have asked him to leave, he won't. I have told him that I don't want to be with him and he gets hurt and doesn't want to talk about it. Since he won't leave, I know I ultimately will have to.
I would really like it if my daughter could have a full rather than half-sibling. But am thinking that we should split now while she is young because she doesn't really understand at 3yrs. So, should I stay to have another child or take the chance that I will meet someone new in time to have another baby?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have been married for 7 years. I don't want to be in the marriage anymore. I don't love him and am not in love with him anymore, since about 2 years ago. We have a 3 year old. I am a child of divorce and I made a promise to myself that I would try my best not to have my daughter grow up in a broken home. The major strife that started my indifference is that he smokes and I despise smoking. He had promised to quit when he asked me to marry and did for awhile and then went right back. Its now 7 years later. I am 38, he is 48. I am his second marriage. If I had the money I would leave him. When he's not home I dance around the house and feel so free. I wish he wouldn't touch me and I hate him bringing his cigarette trail of smoke into the house and the bed. I once had an asthma-like attack that woke me out of my sleep when he came back in from smoking at 2am. (I don't have asthma)
He is also depressed and angry about things in his past, he lashes out at people including my mom for justifiable reason. I think he is jealous that I have a caring family and he came from a very dysfunctional home where the siblings and parents don't get along. He gets upset if I side with my mom, but that's because he has no idea how irate he can get. And since I don't want to be with him anyway, I would choose my family over him any day. I think, as a man, he thinks that since I finally give in sexually in the middle of the night I must still love him. My daughter is now having breathing problems and has been put on a breathing machine to be used 3x a day. He gets defensive when the doctor talks to him. My dilemna is, whether I should stay in this loveless marriage in order to have at least one more child. I don't have much time to meet someone else, fall in love, marry. My clock is ticking. For now, I am thinking about sticking it out in order to have one more child before I hit 40 and then leave him. I have asked him to leave, he won't. I have told him that I don't want to be with him and he gets hurt and doesn't want to talk about it. Since he won't leave, I know I ultimately will have to.
I would really like it if my daughter could have a full rather than half-sibling. But am thinking that we should split now while she is young because she doesn't really understand at 3yrs. So, should I stay to have another child or take the chance that I will meet someone new in time to have another baby?