PDA

View Full Version : Were trying for a baby but its just not happening!


desperatewiife
Feb 2, 2009, 10:16 PM
I am 19 and my husband is 24, we have been trying to have a baby for 3 years. Noo luck at all and I'm so scared that I cant. Well since I was 15 I've had a lot of pelvic pain. Its been checked out numorous times. Cysts on my ovarie. But the doctors all say its normal. My periods were always irregular. I went 7 months once with no period. I took b.c for a month and my periods were back just they came at different times. Now for the past 3 or 4 months they've been normal all on the same day. But still no baby. Am I too young for infertility help?? I have a ob g.y.n apt in a week, but I do not want to be let down AGAIN. Can sumbody give me sum advice PLEASE!?

Nestorian
Feb 2, 2009, 11:45 PM
Best I can tell you is try not to stress on this. If you do, there is a risk that you are going to cause hormonal changes in your body, and that may cause you to be undable to conceive. Our mind interacts with the brain by means of thoughts, and the brain controls our bodily functions so we have to watch how we think. Be aware of that. Think about being pregnant, and having a baby, but don't get up set if it takes time. Some one once told me, "The best things in life are worth waiting for..."

With that, lets move to thing that may help you... So I have this book, "Understanding human sexuality" Here is what it says you may want to do...

Every moring, before you get up, move around, brush your teeth, or have a drink, pee, etc; take your temperature. You may have to do it for a month or two, and write a chart to keep track. During the preovulatory phase your temp should be constant. (illness/room temp/stress permitting.) It says your temp should be below 37degrees C. On the day of ovulation it rises sharply, by 0.3degrees C to 0.6degrees C above the preovulatory level. It should stay like that until menstration.
There are two other methods, Cervical mucus, and Sympto-thermal methods. I will have to go to another chap to find it so hold on...

Sperm live inside the women's body for up to five days, and an egg is capable of being fertalized for about the first 12 to 24 hours after ovulation. It also states that a guy needs time to reproduce sperm. So once a day or every two days, other wise your' just doing it for fun. Nothing worng with that though.
It says also, that the missionary position is best for conception. Then after you're done, it says to lay on your back, pillow under your hips, legs up for half hour to hour. Also, avoid Douching with commercail preparations or with acidic solutions (such as vinegar). Finnally it says to avoid, or check lubricants and or suppositories.
(Chapter 7, pages 146-147)

Cervical mucus method sounds a little wishy washy. Best to stick the first one above. The other one is a combination of the Cervical mucus method, and the basal body temperature. I will explain the cervical one now.

There are generally a few days just after menstration during which no mucus is produced and there is a general sensation of vaginal dryness. This is a relatively safe pierod. Then there are a number of days of mucus discharge around the middle of the cycle. On the first days, the mucus is whiteor cloudy and tacky. The amount increases, and the mucus becomes clearer, until there are one or two peak days, when the mucus is like raw egg white- clear, slippery, and stringy. There is also a sensation of vaginal lubrication. Ovulation occurs with 24 hours after the last peak days. After that the mucus, if present, is cloudy or white, and intercourse is safe. (Be mindful, the safe it's referring to is to not get pregnant, this chapter of the book is about contraception and abortion. So read between the lines.)

Again that is from a Psychology text book called, Understanding Human Sexuality. I'm not a Doctor, nor a psychologist, I just had a lot of friends who needed info in these areas and so I got a few books. I hope you benafited from that. Good luck.

desperatewiife
Feb 3, 2009, 12:03 AM
Thank you so much for your response. About the mucus part though, I'm not sure if I get that kind of mucus. At times I feel wet and all, but its not sticky or stringy. Does that mean I'm not ovulateing?

artlady
Feb 3, 2009, 03:34 AM
The above poster gave you lots of great info ,I would only add that do not use lubricants when having sex as the sperm literally get caught in an oil slick and it impedes mobility.

For your man,here are some tips to help his fertility.taken from web md

* Stop smoking cigarettes or marijuana. Smoking tobacco has been linked to low sperm counts and sluggish motility. Long-term use of marijuana can result in low sperm count and abnormally developed sperm.
* Decrease your drinking. Alcohol can reduce the production of normally formed sperm needed for a successful pregnancy.
* Watch your weight. Both overweight and underweight men can have fertility problems. With too much weight, there can be hormonal disturbances, and when a man's too lean, he can have decreased sperm count and functionality.
* Exercise in moderation. Excessive exercise could lower your sperm count indirectly by lowering the amount of testosterone in your body. And as you might have guessed, stay off the steroids -- they can cause testicular shrinkage, resulting in infertility.
* Value your vitamins. Low levels of vitamin C and zinc can cause sperm to clump together, so keep your numbers up. Vitamin E can counteract excess free-oxygen radicals, which can also affect sperm quality.
* Turn your back on toxins. Landscapers, contractors, manufacturing workers, and men who have regular contact with environmental toxins or poisons (pesticides, insecticides, lead, radiation, or heavy metals) are all at risk of infertility.

Have you ever heard the debate about whether men should wear boxers or briefs? It goes something like this: Briefs are tighter, so it's possible that they can raise your body temperature above the norm for sperm to survive. So if a guy wants to be really fertile, boxers are the way to go. Truth is, this has yet to be scientifically proven. But if you're trying to get pregnant, there's no harm in wearing loose clothing and staying out of hot tubs and saunas.

Since infertility affects one in 25 men these days, maintaining a healthy lifestyle and a positive attitude is the way to go if you're considering becoming a father.

babygirl85
Feb 3, 2009, 09:44 AM
i am 19 and my husband is 24, we have been trying to have a baby for 3 years. noo luck at all and im so scared that i cant. well since i was 15 ive had a lot of pelvic pain. its been checked out numorous times. cysts on my ovarie. but the doctors all say its normal. my periods were always irregular. i went 7 months once with no period. i took b.c for a month n my periods were back just they came at different times. now for the past 3 or 4 months theyve been normal all on the same day. but still no baby. am i too young for infertility help??? i have a ob g.y.n apt in a week, but i do not want to be let down AGAIN. can sumbody give me sum advice PLEASE!!??



Ovarian cysts irregular periods sounds to me like pcos. But of course I'm no doctor so I suggest you see a fertility specialist and get further testing for you and your husband. I know it's frustrating. No you are not too young. Infertility knows no age.. also you can Google pcos and look at the symptoms and see if it is something you could possibly have. I do have it, and it's not fun when you're trying to reproduce

Maccaroni
Feb 3, 2009, 10:44 AM
Can I be the nasty person who raises the question here, but why on earth were you trying to have a baby from the age of 16? Even 19 is young. I know that you are married and could be very mature for your age but there is so much in life that you should do first. Once you have a baby your own youth and childhood are gone, are you sure you are ready for that? I'm sorry to seem harsh but I work with a lot of teenage mums and I see how much harder things are for them than they expected it to be and I'd hate for you to be the same. X

Nickcom2007
Feb 3, 2009, 11:38 AM
I sort of agree with the above poster about wanting to get pregnant now at 19 years old, but I do not know your situation so I'm not judging. What I will say instead is just make sure this is definitely what you and your husband want and know what your getting into before you go any further. I had always thought that having a baby would be the most wonderful thing in the world and don't get me wrong, it is! I love my daughter with all my heart. But I had never thought about all the other things that come with it, example, the diapers, formula, when she gets sick, bills, being able to provide for her and ourselves, etc. Some days it is really difficult thing to deal with and I never considered the fact that when I want to go do something or need "Mommy-time" that it doesn't work that way. You get your time and do your things when the baby sees fit. I did not mean to discourage you at all, I apologize for being a party pooper. :) I will say that the days that aren't difficult, they are the days I had always imagined with my daughter. Children are a beautiful thing to have in your life. They do show you another side to life in general. It also makes you become a lot more mature and responsible about your own life.
If you are completely sure this is what you want, have you tried going to OBGYN and having them do a fertility test? It could be possible that your eggs are dropping properly, the cysts are interfering with the eggs being fertilized, it could be a number of things. I have cysts on my ovaries that even with the birth control keep coming back, large amounts of them too. I had my daughter when I was 25, this was after 5 years of being told that I could not have children. Technology now is something to be amazed at. The things they can do now is astonishing. The poster that gave you all that information about laying with the pillow under your hips, etc. that was a good post with lots of great information that you should consider. Also, you may want to slow down on the sex and if your husband masturbates, have him stop that as well. When your ovulation time rolls around that's when you should be having sex. The reason I say that is because when you don't have sex, it builds up the sperm count in your husband's . The more sperm in his the better for you guys if your trying to conceive. When you go to the OBGYN next week do make sure to ask for a fertility test for yourself and you may want to look into it with him as well. Just taking care of yourself in a healthy way is a great start for trying to conceive period.

desperatewiife
Feb 3, 2009, 12:58 PM
Yeah I know for some people its weird that id want to have a baby, but I grew up way too fast and have always been very mature for my age. But I've had my fun, and now am ready to start my family. Thanks for all the advice people! It is very much appreciated.