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View Full Version : How do I get my ex to give up parental rights to our unborn baby?


greyeyes_reid
Jan 30, 2009, 05:52 AM
I just found out that I am pregnant for my boyfriend, who is sleeping around with a lot of women. I don't want him to have anything to do with my baby, I want him completely out of my life. Is there a way I can possibly do this?

Synnen
Jan 30, 2009, 06:06 AM
Sure!

You PROVE that he is an unfit and abusive father, and that you're MARRIED to another man who wants to adopt the child.

No--really---the ONLY way you can do this is if you have someone ready to adopt or you can prove he is a danger to the child.

You can't have someone's parental rights taken away because you're mad at him that you were stupid enough to sleep with him right along with all those other girls. Your CHILD is still related to him, and that's a lifelong thing. You need to get over your anger, get counseling, and learn how to deal with this guy for the rest of your life.

Frankly, though--I doubt he is going to WANT much to do with his child. That's fine! That's what you WANT!

Just make sure you file for child support once the kid is born.

greyeyes_reid
Jan 30, 2009, 06:18 AM
Thank you Synnen for your response. It is not anger that has brought me to ask this question. It is the fact that I ended the relationship when his mother told me about these girls he started bringing home. He still does not know I am aware of his playing around. However, it was when I ended it with him he threatened me and swore he would make my life hell if I were to move on with someone else and have another man around his child. He would flat out kill me. That is why I need to get him away should he decided to do something stupid that may place my child's life in danger.

Synnen
Jan 30, 2009, 07:32 AM
Did you report those threats to the police?

KellyAlexander
Jan 30, 2009, 07:59 AM
No there is not... but you can help yourself and your child's life by not giving it up so easy in the future. Make sure you're in a committed relationship with a stable (non-sleeping around guy) before you decide to have sex and get pregnant!

As for the threats... more than likely the Judge will believe you are making that up to keep the guy away because you are upset that he doesn't want to be with you. To get anything done you would need some type of proof... or go get a protective order... that's all...

Fr_Chuck
Jan 30, 2009, 09:42 AM
No there is no real way to keep him out of the child's life. He is the father and will be able to be part of the child's life if he wished.

greyeyes_reid
Jan 30, 2009, 10:38 AM
I told his mother and she told me to ignore him. She to has received threats from him and is planning on taking out a restraining order on him, if he continues like this. She has spoken to him and he apologised but whenever he calls to hear how the baby is going and if I need anything, the topic of me moving on comes up and he makes the treats again. I guess it would be unfair to have his parental rights taken away. I just don't want my baby to be exposed to his negativity, and he says that he wants to be a part of the child's life, and that this baby will be his drive to change his ways. That all the cheating, lying, smoking and drinking will stop and if so be the case I have to give him another chance. That is just not going to cut it.

ScottGem
Jan 30, 2009, 10:49 AM
Ok, first this is a legal not a parenting issue. So I've moved this to the Family Law forum.

Second. The legal reality is that courts are VERY reluctant to grant a Termination of Parental Rights. Generally this is granted only to clear the way for adoption or if the parent represents a danger to the child. I don't see enough evidence to prove he will be.

One of the reasons for not granting TPRs is because peopl;e can and do change. It may be that seeing the child will cause him to get his head on straight. And maybe the good qualities he has (he must have had some if you had sex with him) will show through. You might even decide to get back together.

But whether you do or not, your child deserves to get support from him.

So what you need to do is gather your evidence. Keep a journal of his calls. If you state permits one-person taping, then tape the calls. Document everything.

This way when he asks for visitation rights you have evidence to prevent or restrict visitation.