My mom has been cheating on my dad for over a year now but because she hasn't worked in over 20 years she has no money to move out. So she has been living with my dad along with my two younger brothers. One is 16 the other 13. My dad is still in love with her and he cries to me almost everyday about what is happeneing. My mom goes out everyday and has been sleeping with guys 20 years younger than her. It's totally destroying my family. She recently got a restraining order on my dad because he followed her to this guys house one night. Now he and my 16 year old brother are kicked out of the house. Is there anything me or my dad can do to get her out of the house or to get my dad custody of the kids? Thanks.

Your brothers sound old enough to choose who they want o live with, if both choose your dad, he maybe able to keep the house.

How old are you? If you are still living at home and under 18 you will need to choose to live with him too.

But I'm not sure how that works, but I do know the kids can choose, once they are like 11, who they live with. At least that's how it went with my parents deviorce.

I hope things get better for you guys.
Take care.

He can file for divorce and custody. Depending on which state you live in, the fact that she has cheated and that she hasn't worked in 20 years might factor in to the equation.

As for getting her out of the house... get divorced and get the house in the divorce is about the only way.

He needs to do what he should have done along time ago, issue is, his being "in love" is messing him up from being mean and hard and fighting dirty to get what he wants.

First did he go to a hearing about the restraining order t get it lifted ( unless he did something stupid when he followed her.

But he files for divorce, he files for custody of the kids, he gets the kids to move in with him right now ( nothing to stop them, no court order) and he digs up all the dirt, lists names of all the men, and gets ready to in court make her out to be the biggest... in history.

This is just my opinion , but from what you've written, I presume you are the eldest, and the burden of sorting this mess your parents have made, is on your shoulders. It does not belong there.

I don't know if it is appropriate for anyone here to offer legal advice to a minor either, you did not say how old you were.

That this has been going on for a year, and there has been no attempt by your parents to resolve their issues either legally or otherwise, perhaps it is time for you to seek assistance on behalf of yourself, and your younger brothers.

It is really wrong of your parents to put their needs, desires, and anger toward each other, ahead of their three children. A year is a long time to go through what you have been, with no light at the end of the tunnel.

The circumstances of your mom's behaviour, and her ability to work or not work because she's not been in the workforce are not your concern either. They are adults, and those issues they need to address themselves. IF it is addressed in court, it is up to the court and the parents to sort it all out and make appropriate decisions.

Nor is it appropriate to think its okay for your father to cry to you every day as you've said, and further the abuse that you three boys have already taken. It is emotionally innaproprate to dump this on kids.

I realize, and again this is only my opinion, that you care deeply what happens, and want them to find a solution, but it is not in your power to do so. THEY have to take care of their own business, and put the needs of you and your brothers first in how they conduct themselves toward that end.

I urge you to seek help through your school counsellor, or trusted adult, minister, social services, kids help centres, etc. and get the support and guidance you need to make this situation easier for you to live with. They have placed a great burden on you, and I hope that you find someone in your corner to help you through this.

I am actually 21 years old and live 10 hours away from my family. It's hard for me to do much besides support my dad through long talks on the phone. He is slowly getting stronger but I am not sure if the steps he is making are the right ones. The court date is not for another week. He recently hired a divorce lawyer but can't really pay for it because he hasn't had any real work ever since the economy went down. The house he owns will most likely get taken away in the next couple of months. He is badly in debt (he went from making millions a year to zero a year). But my mom still claims she will get something out of him. Is that possible? Or will she inherit half the debt?

I am relieved to hear that you are an adult, and I have to say, you have a really big heart.

It sounds like your dad has been a victim of the economy, and has lost a great deal in the process, including his wife, and home. It is good that at least he has you to talk to on the phone; a lifeline extended from somebody that really cares about his welfare and well being.

As to the divorce proceedings. There are so many possibly outcomes to a situation like this. It is impossible to predict what will come of it all. Most likely it will be difficult for everybody, but, the plus side is, things will get resolved. Eventually lives will go on in new directions, things will settle.

He will no doubt need your ear while going through all of this. Court is the last place anybody wants to be.

I am sorry that my first response was so harsh. I had presumed you were much younger. I went through a very similar circumstance, when I was 12, with two younger sisters. I have always resented taking on the role of an adult and parent at that age.

Hopefully with court coming up soon, you will at least have some sense of direction this is all going to take, but it really is out of your hands. The lawyers will each do their thing, and your parents will negotiate some sort of agreement and settlement.

I hope you will write again with how it all went.

All the best to you Emily.