The Democrats have promised an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to citizens.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up and pay your taxes - it's the patriotic thing to do!

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda.

If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Chile, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic in which case it will go to Mexico)

If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.

If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India

If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan

If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

Casinos and the lottery are buying American too, dagnabbit!

"We all know how we got into this economic mess. We spent too much, borrowed with abandon, and acted like the bills would never come due. So what's the prescription for getting out? Spending more, borrowing more, and acting like the bills will never come due." --columnist Steve Chapman

Casinos and the lottery are buying American too, dagnabbit!

Well now that is the most wonderful news I have heard all day. I knew I was an gambling addict for a reason. I AM AMERICAN! :)

I personally think the economic stimulus crap is a joke.

It's those of us that have to PAY taxes every year because we don't anything/enough to write off that pay for it. I OWED more in taxes last year (even though I withheld the maximum) than I got for the stimulus anyway. And since we had to PAY, we got our stimulus check in like... August. Because they had to cut a check because they didn't have a checkign account to deposit it in because we PAID and didn't get a refund. WHAT?

So personally, I think I'd be okay with watching the country crash and burn from all the instant gratification that's been going on for the last oh... umpteen years.

Took me 15 years of a tight budget, no kids, no house, no new car, nothing, to get out of debt and have good credit.

I am of the opinion that everyone ELSE should have to do the same.

Sorry that the economy sucks, but really---if you want to "borrow" money to improve this country, then go back to school. That provides jobs for teachers, administrators, janitors, etc---and invests in your own future.

AND---it's buying American.

That provides jobs for teachers, administrators, janitors, etc---and invests in your own future.

The Dems already have that covered, they're adding another $66 billion (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123310466514522309.html) for education but it will only go to UNION employees. "No recipient . . . shall use such funds to provide financial assistance to students to attend private elementary or secondary schools."