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View Full Version : Ex husband has pretty much fallen off the earth and can I claim aband


AmqJen
Jan 23, 2009, 07:41 PM
I have 2 kids with my ex husband. An 8 year old and a 6 year old. My ex has moved out of state, no contact with kids, doesn't pay court ordered child support,and does not return any calls that we have made trying to contact him in last year and a half- almost two years.
I am now remarried to a wonderful man and have had another child and my husband and I would like to have him legally adopt my two oldest kids. My kids would also like to have my "new" last name. How long do I have to wait before I can have this done? ANd how do I go about doing this?
Any help or advice that you can share with me would be greatly appreciated!!
THANK YOU!

stayc4you
Jan 23, 2009, 07:59 PM
I am very sad for you and your children. If you get a lawyer you should be able to get this done pretty easily. I can't tell you for sure because here in Texas a lot of stuff is different, but I can tell you that here when there is no contact or support for 90 days you can file for abandonment. You will have to go to court where they will decide if it is in the best interest of the children for the father's rights to be terminated and if so they should easily allow your new husband to adopt the children. However, one thing to keep in mind. God forbid anything happen to your new marriage, but if it did, your husband would then be financially responsible for those two children because he would legally be their father. I would be very considerate in his position on that matter.

Fr_Chuck
Jan 23, 2009, 08:04 PM
Sorry that stayc is somewhat uninformed over the issues. Please understand that many states do not reconise non payment or non visits as a reason to take the rights away.

In all cases the bio father will have to be contacted ( or at least a attempt to contact has to be made according to court rules)

If he will not merely sign over his rights, it gets harder and will cost a lot more due to the needed court hearings and issues.

Fr_Chuck
Jan 23, 2009, 08:19 PM
And in Texas the bio father also still has to be notified, and there will be a hearing the 90 day issue, is seldom upheld if the bio father goes to court to appeal.
It is used to put them in jail often for non support when they don't pay. It is just not as easy and seldom happens as you describe.

ScottGem
Jan 24, 2009, 07:40 AM
There are a lot of misconceptions about abandonment. There is a criminal charge of child abandonment that occurs when a child is left with NO supervision. That is the only time one can file a charge of abandonment.

Abandonment MAY be used as grounds under a filing for divorce or for termination of parental rights (TPR). However, the decision is left to a judge and TPRs are rarely granted.

Since you have someone waiting to adopt, you have a leg up. What you need to do is retain an attorney to file the adoption papers. As part of that petition he will go about trying to get the father to relinquish his rights or get them terminated. There are various avenues he can try. If you know where the father is, then he will mostly likely serve him with a subpeona to appear at a hearing terminating his rights. If he doesn't show a judge will likely grant to the order.

But the bottomline is you really need an attorney to handle this for you.