I came to the kids life after they parents live separate for 2 years? The kids where only 8 and 9 now 17 and 18 I did everything for them I was the good person for everybody eyes, and somehow when they (especially the girl) turn 13-14 everything change she tells that she dose not like to come over to your house anymore. I still doo the best when ever they come We're nice when ever they call where nice or if they need something we are there for them. She is 16 and she's not calling anymore not coming anymore only if she needs something. The father and I are helpless try to talk to her and the ex but she is ignoring both of you, and the ex says that how is she just let her be herself. In this year in new year eve she crash 2 care she is Ok we payd 5000$ (they never have money) we where paying tickets to Mexico for them to spend some good time together she comes but for one week she hardly talks sometimes she doesn't even says good morning for all days. Than I find out She hates is not around us bcause she hates me . I tried to talke to her but she ignores me. And there is a question what to do? I see my husband hurt he is down. The mom who was a prety good ex wants to kick out the boy 18 he has a temper, he is a good boy but yells to you without respect. Fellt school, and he said once that his father made a mistake to marry me. I have a 2 year and 5 months old and we have a beautiful life when non of they children are around. Auf course that wasn't like that before we loved being together but they changed and I just don't understand why I used to be there friend they where calling me if they where sad or happy they were proud of me that hey we have a, cool stepmomy" that how they use to call me. And now they clearly saying that they heating me what changed? Because I have my one? When I got pregnant they never asked anything about the pregnancy, but after my son was borne I taught they like to be around the baby brother. I thought I still behave the same like before I got pregnant. My son was sick and I still went to her piano concert, I took them first all the time. But how longe should I do that? I was waiting for 7 years to get pregnant because of them I thought they would understand the situation better when they grow up. But I had no more time I'm 34 and my husband is 46. And we are happy and they could be part of our happy little family but they are so different than before. What shou I do? My stepson wants to move in to our apartment even he just told me that he hates me. Should I let him to move in to our house? (I'm afraid that for this happy quiet life will be over if he comes over) I'm scared. When ever he is over (my stepdaughter never comes) there is arguments between the father and him and somehow we can fill the vibration of the anger and hate and no more smile. When he goes back to her mom everything goes back to normal. The ex use to be Ok until the last years ( 4 years) since than I fill she hate me more and more and more We never where friends but we respected each other, if she needed a babysitter or help with the kids she calledmy husband or me. Since the kids are grow up she hates me and I don't understand why. I used to say that she is a good women I used to understand her situation even if she hurt me sometimes I understud her, it is hard alone she never found her soul mate, she had a lote of man in her life but unfortunately did't worked out, and she even sad it is hard alone. Sometime I felt she is sorry that she wanted the divorce. That she hates me because we are happy and she putes her hate to the kids, I don't now I'm just confused, it was't like that we used to be OK with each other but now too much happened too much hate and we can't talke with any of them. My husband called her to talke out what happening she refused to talk with him, please help what to do…..

Sounds like the mother was nice to you as long as she needed you. Now that the kids are older she wants to hand the problem over to you. As for the kids not liking you, teenagers usually don't relate to parents like they used to, and before, they were the only ones,and probably between whatever the mother has been tellling them ( sounds like she's a bit jealous of the new kids too) has filtered into the older ones heads. I had a son with a temper at that age too and it is difficult to deal with. If you decide to let him move in with you, maybe tell him you'll just try it for awhile and see how it goes but there will be rules that have to be followed or the arrangement is off. Be firm and clear of what the rules will be and stick to it.At 16 and 18 is old enough to have reasonable respect and old enough to be able to discuss a problem that is bothering them. All you can do is try to be there, but don't let it completely upturn your life.

Thank you, my stepson will turn 19 soon. I just told my husband I'm OK, him moving in with us. Ended up that my husband is more scared than I am. He has a unique temper, conservative thinking (like me) and very realistic.. he told him that we have rules and respect for each other so if the f or b word is used towards me and no respect no question made he is out of the door. Since that conversation they don't call him at all. My husband wants' to cut up the child support to he paid 1 year extra for his son all ready but we said until he is not 20 - 21 we will help the ex out if he lives with her. I don't think it's help if we will cut down the child support.. . so change happening all the time I just wait what's happen. Until now I was the one whom was in the middle convince everyone... look your father doesn't want to hurt you blabla... think your son, daughter, ex wife not easy for them... all the time try to end the conflict. Right now I feel I should get out and let them do they decisions. In the other hand I'm afraid knowing my husband (he is a very strait forward guy) they will go apart…I don't now what to do but I guess I was there until they needed me and now I have to let them do what they have to do.

If they move full time into your home, they need to show some respect for you. Your husband is going to have to stand up for you in this case. They need to understand if they move to your house that it is your home too and that they need to show respect to each adult in the house.

Unfortunately, it's your husband that's going to have to put his foot down. You can and should stand up for yourself if they're mean or disrespectful of you. But before they're allowed to move in, your husband is going to have to lay down some ground rules. One of the most important ground rules in your case is that they need to show respect to you.