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View Full Version : How do DUMPERS feel ?


_Someone_
Jan 15, 2009, 10:03 PM
Hi friends
Everybody of us in this forum had some love problems. Some of us got dumped some of us are the dumpers. After a relationship which lasted 3 years, I am one of those who got dumped by my girlfriend when I most needed her help. After a lot of days of pain and headache, one morning I woke up and she wasn't in my mind anymore. I realized this 2 hours later and I started laughing. I was happy because I knew I was healing.Now about 50 days after my break up and without having any contact with her, I am beginning to understand that this is the life of this world and we must accept it in the way it comes. We cannot change what God planned for us. If you are interested in reading my story just click under my name and see my first post, because now comes the time for a question.
Like everyone I felt really bad when she left me. I thought it was the end of the world. I had a lot of stress and sleepless nights. And all this came because I got dumped, We all know how a dumped person feels because most of us here in this forum have experienced such a feeling. Maybe this is the reason we signed up in this forum. But now I want to know how the dumpers feel after they have caused such a big pain to someone they once loved?? Doesn't their conscience kill them for what they have done?? Someone who is a dumper or has heard any story can tell anything about this. I have never been a dumper and I will never be one. I can't even concept their mentality.For me dumpers are much worse than killers. This is why I would like to know smth about this.
Thank you

MarkwithaK
Jan 15, 2009, 10:21 PM
I think it would be impossible to pin down any one constant answer to this. There are so many reasons as to why one person decides to break it off with the other. I like to think that deep down most people are good natured and it caused them some sort of emotional stress to dump someone but that some people are just down right rotten. Not all, but some.

Scleros
Jan 15, 2009, 10:35 PM
But now i want to know how the dumpers feel after they have caused such a big pain to someone they once loved ???
I "dumped" a high school friend of mine, who at the time I would have married in a heartbeat, after a decade long "relationship" when she told me one day I was a glutton for punishment for being her friend and that she had no feelings for me and never would. I'm pretty sure any significant pain that was experienced was mine as she changed her phone number promptly upon dump and I haven't heard from her since.

Doesn't their conscience kill them for what they have done???
My conscience oscillated between abject sadness and relief for many years. Now I'm just numb.

For me dumpers are much worse than killers.
Enduring a unhealthy relationship when you're the only one invested in it isn't prudent.

I have never been a dumper and i will never be one.
Perhaps you have not been miserable enough yet.

simoneaugie
Jan 15, 2009, 10:37 PM
People change, evolve, that's the only constant. You said, "I am begining to understand that this is the life of this world and we must accept it in the way it comes."

I've dumped and been dumped. Usually, I saw it coming long before. The end of a relationship is like a death of sorts. The less you are prepared for it, the more of a shake-up it is.

talaniman
Jan 16, 2009, 09:18 AM
Until you have been there, and done that you should keep your mind open, as its just an honest reaction to changing feelings.

Would you stay in a miserable situation you weren't happy with??

I think your still stinging, and are not ready to accept the change it has caused you.

Remember that pain when you do have to dump someone, and you will eventually. Be nice about it and honest.