I live in California. I'm living with a man (3 months.) who recently found out that a woman he used to date is pregnant (4.5 mos). I support him in his efforts to be a father to his child (during pregnancy supporting the child's mother and after birth). However this is a new component in our relationship (and our lives) and I wanted to know if anyone is aware of a Web site that provides a list of father's rights. I've seen inforamtion on custody and such, but have had difficulty finding a site that is clearly with regards to his rights as a father. We eventually plan to see an attorney, but wanted to review some information in the meantime.
Can you help?

You'll have to wait until the baby is born. Then he can file in court, at which point a DNA test will be ordered to determine if he's the father or not. If he is, then he'll probably be ordered to pay child support but he'll be entitled to visitation.

There are no "rights" till the baby is born. If mother does not put him on the birth certificate, he will have to file in court to prove he is the father.

He then has to file in court for a custody order and for child visits and then to set the state child support to be paid.

He gets his rights by using th court. He will get what ever level of custody he can get in court.

I'm confused as to what you mean by a "father's rights". He has no less rights then any other father whether married to the mother or not.

Maybe you mean what his obligations are or what happens with visitation and such. So please clarify.

Thanks for the feedback.
Currently I'd like to find a Web site that explains a unmarried father's rights. Although the 'right's' may be the same married or unmarried, I think because of the situation they may differ.
I understand he has 'no rights' until the child is born, but I'm looking for a site that provides an understanding of those rights once the child is born.
He is supporting the birth mother during her pregnancy (both financially and emotionally). She's now asking him to agree to certain 'rules and regulations' once the child is born with regards to financial obligation, visitation, travel, etc. My concern is his (our) not knowing what his rights are as the birth father. She plans to have him listed as the birth father, but seems to be using that as leverage depending whether he agrees to her 'rules and regulations'. In addition to providing a monthly contribution for food and maternity clothes prior to the birth, he will also be sharing the cost of any medical fees prior to and relating to the birth of the their child.
As I previously mentioned, we do plan to discuss this with an attorney later, but wanted to find information that would be helpful to him (us) before he agrees to something he can't change later.
Again I appreciate all the feedback.

Thanks for the feedback.
Currently I'd like to find a Web site that explains a unmarried father's rights. Although the 'right's' may be the same married or unmarried, I think becuase of the situation they may differ.

The only difference is in terms of custody. Parents can be lumped into two categories for this discussion; living together and living apart. It doesn't matter whether they are married or not. If they are living together then there is generally no issues. They share costs and care. Its when they are living apart where things have to be formalized.


She's now asking him to agree to certain 'rules and regulations' once the child is born with regards to financial obligation, visitation, travel, etc. My concern is his (our) not knowing what his rights are as the birth father.

He should not agree to ANYTHING. If she wants to set any rules, he should tell her, that they can discuss them in court. You want a court to setup custody, visitation, support etc. You do NOT want to agree to anything without having it submitted to a court for approval.

The rights of non-custodial parent are a bit different from those of a custodial parent (marital status does not matter), especially for an infant and when the custodial parent is the mother. Courts will generally award physical custody to the mother. When the child is weaned but before school the courts will be more liberal with time spent with the non-custodial parent as much as going 50/50. Once the child starts school , unless the NCP, lives in the same area visitation will go to weekends and holidays.

But whether the parents were married and divorced or never married makes no difference at all in the rights of each parent. The only place where it does matter is in establishing legal parenthood. Once your boyfriend is confirmed as the legal father, he has the same rights as any legal father.

Thanks for the feedback.
Currently I'd like to find a Web site that explains a unmarried father's rights. Although the 'right's' may be the same married or unmarried, I think becuase of the situation they may differ.
I understand he has 'no rights' until the child is born, but I'm looking for a site that provides an understanding of those rights once the child is born.
He is supporting the birth mother during her pregnancy (both financially and emotionally). She's now asking him to agree to certain 'rules and regulations' once the child is born with regards to financial obligation, visitation, travel, etc. My concern is his (our) not knowing what his rights are as the birth father. She plans to have him listed as the birth father, but seems to be using that as leverage depending whether or not he agrees to her 'rules and regulations'. in addition to providing a monthly contribution for food and maternity clothes prior to the birth, he will also be sharing the cost of any medical fees prior to and relating to the birth of the their child.
As I previously mentioned, we do plan to discuss this with an attorney later, but wanted to find information that would be helpful to him (us) before he agrees to something he can't change later.
Again I appreciate all the feedback.

Don't agree to anything. He has the same rights as any other father, but he needs to protect them. Sign NOTHING. Her rules and regulations mean exactly squat. SHE will abide by the court's rules and regulations and too bad if she doesn't like it.

Thanks for all the feedback. It's helpful to know what direction to take. Based on the last two responses, she can't really 'make' him agree to anything and if there is an agreement it should be made involving the court system. As much as neither would like to go to court, it seems that it really provides the most protection for both the birth mother and father. He wants to make sure he fullfills his financial responsibiltiy, but more than that he desires to be a father to his child, by actively participating in development and growth of his child.
Thanks again to all for the helpful feedback and suggestions.

Thanks for all the feedback. It's helpful to know what direction to take. Based on the last two responses, she can't really 'make' him agree to anything and if there is an agreement it should be made involving the court system. As much as neither would like to go to court, it seems that it really provides the most protection for both the birth mother and father. He wants to make sure he fullfills his financial responsibiltiy, but more than that he desires to be a father to his child, by actively participating in development and growth of his child.
thanks again to all for the helpful feedback and suggestions.

The court will eventually make him pay support.

And while we're on the topic, he is under no LEGAL obligation to help her in any way throughout the pregnancy. Moral, sure. But if she wants to play silly stupid games, he is well within his rights to say to her "ok - see you in court when the baby is born" and not speak to her again.

Yes you are correct, doing everything through the courts provides protection for both parents. The CP has a way to enforce payments, the NCP has a way to enforce visitation.