OK first off I know I sound desprete...

OK I had a boyfriend. We broke up 3 days ago. We got into a fight and I broke up with him because that is what he said he wanted. I WANT/NEED HIM BACK!!
I love this boy sooooooooooo much. He's a hard case though. He's different then any guy I've been with. He is 22 and I'm 17. Now I know that sounds VERYYYYY stupid but he is socially challenged he has NEVER dated anyone his age and his longest relationship was me (7 months) he has only had 2 other girlfriends besides me. We would have little fights because he is kind of controlling. But I know he's the one I want.
I was reading things not to do and sadly I have already done some of them. I hope its not to late... I have begged fussed and text him constantly... he says that it is OVER for GOOD. I was sweet and told him how much I love him and he says that he doesn't feel the same way anymore. HE won't talk to me at all!! (its driving me crazy) so I guess what I'm asking is how to get him back? I believe that there has to be some way for us to get back together. We have a lot in common and have fun all the time. He's been telling me that he is confused about us since December. So I think he is just confussed and in time he will come back. Is there anything other than giving him time and space that I should do?? I need him back help me. :(

What you want and what he is telling you are very different and you are going to have to accept he does not want this relationship back or to work it out.

You need to start No Contact immediately!

If you want ANY chance of getting back together with him, you will NOT CONTACT him at all. Let him calm down, and if he wants to, he will initiate contact.

All right see that is my main goal. It is sooooooo hard though! And I know he loves me that's a positive thing I keep thinking about. I'm not going to contact him. But I'm kind of worried about when I should give up... I read an article and it said wait about a month. Is that long enough?? I think he will get a new girfriend that's what I'm expecting to happen but all his other girfriends other than me have only lasted 2 or 3 months. He really lacks social skills and is VERY jelous and needy. I have contacted him several times since the break up saying sweet things because I thought that's what he wanted. When he gets mad he does it for attention that's what I thought he wanted so I gave it to him. I really am thinking that since I'm his first serious relationship he's confused. ( almost every big relationship makes people that way right?) so no contact AT ALL. Is there anything else I should be advised on?

OH. And he is the kind of guy that when he is mad he says things he Doesn't mean like the most ridiculous things do you think that in time after he calms down that maybe the feelings he is feeling will change?

During this break I'm going to work on me. I feel like that's the best thing for me to do. I don't want to start dating yet.

<3 thank you for all the advise so far.

1.) what are some signs that show your boyfriend wants a break up because he is confused?

2.) is it a bad thing if you and your boyfriend break up and its only been 4 days and they already want there stuff back?

3.) when should you stop trying to get them back?

Me and my boyfriend are broken up and I'm hoping to get him back I thnk he is confused and just needs time. But He didn't talk to me about getting his stuff back his mother talked to his brother about it.

You should be able to see the signs yourself. If he starts acting reluctant, unloving, etc.

It depends on the person. They might let you keep it, or they might get it when they are more comfortable.

You should stop immediately. It's already over, so you shouldn't try to pursue.

1) Uninterested, distant, no sex, short tempered, not spending nearly as much time as you, less involved... Think about it hard... I am sure the signs were pretty clear even if you initially thought they weren't.

2) Yes, I would say that's a clear sign of their intent to move on.

3) Like Nitemarie said, you shouldn't even try to get them back. Usually it does nothing but push them farther away. Go no contact and if they come back deal with it them. More often then not they don't so don't hold out hope.


It really really sucks I know, so I do feel for you, but you will be OK. Broken hearts just make you stronger!

Well I can say that holding out hope like you are will get in the way of you moving on and feeling better... So you have to assume he's not coming back, but easier said than done right?

No article can give you time lines on any of this stuff... Each relationship is unique as well as each person.

So continue with what you are doing. Absolutely no contact! Work on yourself like you said, because you are numero uno and deserve to be happy! If he comes back to you than deal with it then, but don't hold out for it, because more often than not when its over its over.

Hi, Lucylou1128

If what you have posted here is concerning that which you started on the other thread below, it would be best if you continued on that thread to respond to others who've already responded to you on it rather than starting a new thread.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/what-should-do-303136.html

This place doesn't work the same way that a chat room does, so the others that have already responded to you might not even see this other thread that you started.

It can take awhile to get used to how to use this site!

Thanks!

This is what happens when you read the online "Get your Ex Back" books... don't buy into them, as they are all pretty full of false hope, and will prevent you from moving on, wasting YOUR life.

Stay with No Contact and work on yourself. He wants nothing to do with you, so leave him alone.

Your threads have been merged to avoid confusion, and there is no need to post another question about the same thing! Post them here.

Your threads have been merged to avoid confusion, and there is no need to post another question about the same thing! Post them here.


So me and my boyfrined 7 months broke up about 2 weeks ago because he is 'confused' I'm the first real relationship he's been in and his first serious relationship. I was doing all the wrong things for about 3 days. I text him and begged all that stuff and now I'm stopped. I'm hoping that me and him will get back together we would have so much fun together and have sooooo much in common. I believe that if people can get back together when they have cheated or been in an abusive relationship then I can get him back. I haven't contacted him in 2 weeks. The only thing I'm worrying about is that leaving him alone and not contacting him is going to backfire... when I should I give up on trying to get him back? Are there any signs that I should look for that really say he's over me..

I think the signs are that he says he is over you and he has not tried to contact you for two weeks.

He is making no effort to get back together so I think it is in your best interest to let this one go,before you invest more time in someone who is just not feeling the same way.

He says he feels confused. So the only way he can sort things out is for you to continue No contact. If you contact him he will feel pressured and more confused or he will get annoyed and not want you back. After two weeks very likely he is over you and not wanting to be with you...
All you can do is leave it go... if he doesn't want to be with you there isn't anything you can do... You can't force somebody to love you or be with you.