Ok here we go. My fiance' has been separated from his wife for two years now and divorce time is finally here.(thanks to her). Anyway they share two kids together one that is his and a 13 years old that is not well when she was 7 her signed her birth cert to change her last name to his and now they don't even have a relationship. But ole girl still feels that he should pay for her.. but he wants his name off.. he feels that she should chase her real father for child support since she wants him not to care for her but pay for her... are we stuck? Or is there a way out of this:confused:

Ok here we go. My fiance' has been separated from his wife for two years now and divorce time is finally here.(thanks to her). anywho they share two kids together one that is his and a 13 years old that is not well when she was 7 her signed her birth cert to change her last name to his and now they dont even have a relationship. but ole girl still feels that he should pay for her.. but he wants his name off.. he feels that she should chase her real father for child support since she wants him not to care for her but pay for her... are we stuck? or is there a way out of this:confused:



This is not on the legal board so I'm free to say that I feel sorry for any child whose father's fiancé refers to the situation as being "stuck" with her. This is not the child's fault. This is your fiance's fault - his and the mother of this child.

In some States too much time has gone by; in other States you can request DNA, prove paternity and pursue the blood father.

So he's separated from her, engaged to you (although not divorced) and you think "divorce time" is her fault?

I have little sympathy for anyone but the child.

The legal advice is to retain an Attorney to straighten out the mess that the adults have created.

This is not on the legal board so I'm free to say that I feel sorry for any child whose father's fiance refers to the situation as being "stuck" with her. This is not the child's fault. This is your fiance's fault - his and the mother of this child.

In some States too much time has gone by; in other States you can request DNA, prove paternity and pursue the blood father.

So he's separated from her, engaged to you (although not divorced) and you think "divorce time" is her fault?

I have little sympathy for anyone but the child.

The legal advice is to retain an Attorney to straighten out the mess that the adults have created.

Lol before you criticize please ask questions.. her mother is the reason why this divorce has taken so long!! And as far as the daughter she has NO relationship with my fiancé since she feels that her parents shuld be together. I feel its wrong for a mother to keep a child away from a man bu tmake him pay child support... MAKES NO Sense AT ALL... put yourself in my shoes what would you do? I didn't ask for sympathy at all... just want to know what's best... (did I mention the daughter wants her eal daddy as she told us)

I think that ultimately, you, your boyfriend and the child's mother should try to come to some kind of agreement that is in the best interest of the child. As you I'm sure are well aware, it is not the child's fault... but I do believe that if your boyfriend signed the paper to give her his name, then he needs to meet the obligation. He would be doing it for the child, not the child's mother... maybe this is something that he should have given more thought to before he signed the paper to give her his name. The object is to protect the child... its not like giving a dog away... this is a child that didn't ask to be born... this child deserves not to have doors shut in her face... if your boyfriend has been a "father" to her up till now, then I believe he should continue doing that... and I believe you should support him in doing that. Like I said, he made the decidsion to sign the paper and now he needs to hold up his obligation. Although I do understand your frustration... divorces are nasty and very hurtful to all that are involved... I wish you the best of luck...

lol before you critisize please ask questions.. her mother is the reason why this divorce has taken so long!!! and as far as the daughter she has NO relationship with my fiance since she feels that her parents shuld be together. I feel its wrong for a mother to keep a child away from a man bu tmake him pay child support.... MAKES NO Sense AT ALL... put yourself in my shoes what would u do? I didnt ask for sympathy at all... just want to know whats best... (did i mention the daughter wants her eal daddy as she told us)


I wouldn't get involved with a married man, never have, so I can't answer your question. Divorced, yes. Separated, no. Married, no. What I would do in your shoes is irrelevant. The disrespectful "ole girl" language referring to his wife is one of the reasons I never wanted to be in your position - from either side of things.

Again - you are dealing with a child and shouldn't be surprised that she talks and acts like a child. Of course she wants her parents back together. Kids say all sorts of hurtful things, particularly to get back at a parent she thinks has abandoned her. I would guess that she sees and feels the resentment that's at play here. I'm a stepmother and kids sense when they aren't welcome or wanted.

Legally child support and visitation are different issues - if your fiancé wants to see the child, then he should file for visitation and/or custody. If he doesn't, then he should file - as I suggested - for a change in support. I just don't know that it's possible after this much time.

i think that ultimately, you, your boyfriend and the childs mother should try to come to some kind of agreement that is in the best interest of the child. as you im sure are well aware, it is not the childs fault... but i do believe that if your boyfriend signed the paper to give her his name, then he needs to meet the obligation. he would be doing it for the child, not the childs mother... maybe this is something that he should have given more thought to before he signed the paper to give her his name. the object is to protect the child...its not like giving a dog away... this is a child that didnt ask to be born... this child deserves not to have doors shut in her face... if your boyfriend has been a "father" to her up till now, then i believe he should continue doing that... and i believe you should support him in doing that. like i said, he made the decidsion to sign the paper and now he needs to hold up his obligation. although i do understand your frustration.... divorces are nasty and very hurtful to all that are involved... i wish you the best of luck...
Nad you are right and I am behind him... I guess my whole thing is caring for a child we can't even discipline drives us crazy... but I am behind him 100%

I suppose it all comes down to whether a)the biological father terminated his rights and b)your fiancé adopted the girl.

I have to agree with Judy about "being stuck" with a child. I refer to my step-children as my children, because that's what they are. This girl is 13 years old and in an awkward situation; this girl has already been passed from one father to another, and now it's happening again. You may as well tattoo "You're not wanted here" on your forehead, just so she can't miss it. He's been a father to this girl for 6 years and quite frankly, I think it's crummy of him to tell her mother to chase after the "real" dad for support.

I'm still struggling with the "separated for 2 years, divorce is finally here thanks to her." You initially imply that she wants the divorce, then imply that she's the reason the divorce hasn't happened. Either way, it's irrelevant. Had your fiancé wanted a divorce, he could have gone and filed 2 years ago.

I'm glad that the two of you are working together... I think that is a big plus in the situation. Unfortunately, the courts supposedly make their decisions based on what's in the best interest of the child... this is a good thing unless you have a mother that tells the story in a different light... they might not be lying but I see a lot of mothers that go into court basically for revenge... although they will present it to the court as though they are doing it for their child's best interest... trust me... been there and done that with my step children... and still going through it... does it ever end?

im glad that the two of you are working together... i think that is a big plus in the situation. unfortunately, the courts supposedly make their decisions based on whats in the best interest of the child.... this is a good thing unless you have a mother that tells the story in a different light... they might not be lying but i see alot of mothers that go into court basically for revenge... although they will present it to the court as though they are doing it for their childs best interest..... trust me... been there and done that with my step children.... and still going thru it .... does it ever end?

How did you find out about my life? Lol

And no, I'm not sure it ends. The "ex" in my life enjoys telling the kids things like I'm crazy, their father doesn't know how to treat children, they can call her new boyfriend "Daddy", they can't bring their snowpants to our house because they might lose them, etc.

I am the mother of 2, my "better half" is the father of 3... so I see and deal with the battles on all sides of the coin... but watching his ex wife and seeing the things she says and does, is teaching me how NOT to handle situations... I am very level headed and do what I think is best for kids... even if "whats best" doesn't always benefit me... I do it for them... I swallow my tongue and bite my lip on many things...

What a sad way to put it, "stuck" with a child.
He signed on the dotted line for that child, lived with and fathered that child for 6 years.
He can petition the courts to make sure he gets visitation.
I think I would be leery of a man so willing to abandon a child he once considered his.

I think others have covered the issue of the best interest of the child. The child's attitude may be the result of the mother's influence or it may be a reaction to the step father's being "stuck" attitude. I don't know.

From a legal standpoint the first thing to do is determine who the legal father is. One generally just can't sign a 7 year old's birthg certificate to give her his name. There are usually legal proceedings involved here. Its entirely possible the bio father had his rights terminated and your fiancée took on the role of legal father. Its also possible that can't be challenged any longer.

So before anyone takes any further steps, the legal father has to be determined.

I suppose it all comes down to whether or not a)the biological father terminated his rights and b)your fiance adopted the girl.

I have to agree with Judy about "being stuck" with a child. I refer to my step-children as my children, because that's what they are. This girl is 13 years old and in an awkward situation; this girl has already been passed from one father to another, and now it's happening again. You may as well tattoo "You're not wanted here" on your forehead, just so she can't miss it. He's been a father to this girl for 6 years and quite frankly, I think it's crummy of him to tell her mother to chase after the "real" dad for support.

I'm still struggling with the "separated for 2 years, divorce is finally here thanks to her." You initially imply that she wants the divorce, then imply that she's the reason the divorce hasn't happened. Either way, it's irrelevant. Had your fiance wanted a divorce, he could have gone and filed 2 years ago.

Nope niegther he was told by the mother that the father did.. only to find out a few months ago that the guy didn't even know.. and no adoption took place on his behalf they just changed her last name... believe me he wants it as much as she did but she asked us time and time to just Bare with her.. I knew I should have left this to myself because everyone is thinking about this little girl and not the real reason... would you keep a child at your house who doesn't behave because she knows dad cannot discipline... I am all for the kids hell I love his 6 year old and treat him as my own... but this little child just works our home.. but anyway I feel a certain way about things and I needed a legal opinion not personal...

Ok here we go. My fiance' has been separated from his wife for two years now and divorce time is finally here.(thanks to her). anywho they share two kids together one that is his and a 13 years old that is not well when she was 7 her signed her birth cert to change her last name to his and now they dont even have a relationship. but ole girl still feels that he should pay for her.. but he wants his name off.. he feels that she should chase her real father for child support since she wants him not to care for her but pay for her... are we stuck? or is there a way out of this:confused:

Ugh please you don't get me wrong with the STUCK part... I'm only speaking financially Geesh!!

Legal is good, but you also need to understand that this-girls life is being tuned upside down and to have such a cavalier attitude towards her is IMO sickening. These are adults who have screwed with her life. How do you suppose it makes her feel she has no dad who wants her.
It irritates me when adults mess up a child's life and when they act out, they want to blame the child.

nope niegther he was told by the mother that the father did.. only to find out a few months ago that the guy didnt even know.. and no adoption took place on his behalf they just changed her last name...... belive me he wants it as much as she did but she asked us time and time to just Bare with her.. i knew i should have left this to myself because everyone is thinking about this lil girl and not the real reason.... would you keep a child at your house who doesnt behave because she knows dad cannot discipline... I am all for the kids hell i love his 6 year old and treat him as my own.... but this lil child just works our home.. but anyways i feel a certain way about things and i needed a legal opinion not personal...


You don't want personal advice so I won't give it. I don't think you'd listen, anway.

You've already received legal advice. You have to go to Court to get this resolved. Your fiancé can ask for DNA testing BUT even if he is determined NOT to be the father a lot of time has gone by and there is no guarantee he won't have to pay child support for this child.

As far as the "we" part of your posts - you have no legal standing here. This is him, her and the child.

You need an Attorney. That's my legal opinion.

I suspect, that the mother just had him sign something that had no legal standing. Then just started having the child use his name. This could mean that he is not the legal father and has absolutely no rights or obligations towards this child.

You said he signed the birth certificate, that is not "just changing the last name" if you change a name, youi merely get a name change, it does not make one a father or liable.

So it appears they did a fraud by claiming to be the father on the birth certificate. But in some states just being the father ( step father) for 6 years can make you liable for child support.

I would not want to marry any man who after raising a child for 6 years would not feel like and want to stay in that child's life.

Ugh please yall dont get me wrong with the STUCK part... im only speaking financially Geesh!!!

If you are approaching this from a financial standpoint they you are not thinking about what really matters... his daughter.

Did he act like a father to her? Does she call him Dad? If he is her legal father... and it is questionable that he is, he can discipline her.

Please, stop thinking of a child as a problem. Because ultimately this is your boyfriends fault. HE is the problem. And good luck, because HE is unlikely to change.

nope niegther he was told by the mother that the father did.. only to find out a few months ago that the guy didnt even know.. and no adoption took place on his behalf they just changed her last name...... belive me he wants it as much as she did but she asked us time and time to just Bare with her.. i knew i should have left this to myself because everyone is thinking about this lil girl and not the real reason.... would you keep a child at your house who doesnt behave because she knows dad cannot discipline... I am all for the kids hell i love his 6 year old and treat him as my own.... but this lil child just works our home.. but anyways i feel a certain way about things and i needed a legal opinion not personal...

You were given a legal opinion. Multiple times. And as more information continues to come out, it doesn't appear that your "fiance" has any legal obligation to this child whatsoever. You need to find out the facts before being able to proceed.

If you are approaching this from a financial standpoint they you are not thinking about what really matters... his daughter.

Did he act like a father to her? does she call him Dad? If he is her legal father... and it is questionable that he is, he can discipline her.

Please, stop thinking of a child as a problem. Because ultimately this is your boyfriends fault. HE is the problem. And good luck, because HE is unlikely to change.


Remind me to change my signature line to "You can tell what's in a man's soul by the way he treats children." His or anyone else's that he's raised, a child he's allowed to call him Dad.

(Aren't there any worthwhile, single, eligible guys in the World? These "part time fathers" are posting all the time. I take that back. Their girlfriends are posting all the time. Where are the real men?)

Remind me to change my signature line to "You can tell what's in a man's soul by the way he treats children." His or anyone else's that he's raised, a child he's allowed to call him Dad.

(Aren't there any worthwhile, single, eligible guys in the World? These "part time fathers" are posting all the time. I take that back. Their girlfriends are posting all the time. Where are the real men?)

Right on. You can tell what this woman thinks by her own words:

i knew i should have left this to myself because everyone is thinking about this lil girl and not the real reason.

That's disgusting.

What is more important than that little girl?

Her motivation stuck out like a sore thumb and she is not even the man's wife yet. Can you imagine how she would treat this child?
She is wanting this man to be able to just this own this child. How cruel. I don't know what sickens me more, his attitude or her's.

What is more important than that little girl?

Her motivation stuck out like a sore thumb and she is not even the man's wife yet. Can you imagine how she would treat this child?
She is wanting this man to be able to just dis own this child. How cruel. I don't know what sickens me more, his attitude or her's.

Absolutely; did you also happen to catch her quote about how she "loves the 6-year-old" but doesn't like the 13-year-old? And then actually wonders what's wrong with the poor girl!!

Yeah, I caught that. Pitiful!
How a man can allow a woman to treat his child with such disregard is beyond me, but I guess they deserve each other.

Yeah, I caught that. Pitiful!
How a man can allow a woman to treat his child with such disregard is beyond me, but I guess they deserve each other.





And he'll treat his wife - if it ever goes that far - just like he treats his child.

Although this seems to have turned into a bashing blog... I think glover should possibly just read what has been written and let it sink in... some people are not always very good at wording things and sometimes you just need to kind of read between the lines... I'm giving benefit of the doubt here because I'm hoping that everyone is misreading what has been written by this person. Maybe it wasn't quite intended as it was written. A lot of people come to these forums out of frustration and anger and confusion... and some people don't always use the best choice of words when they are upset about something...
I could be totally out there with this theory... or I could be hitting the nail on the head... you have to keep in mind that reading this stuff is often different from hearing it from the mouth if you are not an experienced writer.
Am I making any sense with any of this?. I, myself, am not really an experienced writer...

I hope that (for the benefit of this child) you are right.

I hope that (for the benefit of this child) you are right.

I hope so also.

I think those of us who have posted collectively a total over 60,000 times have a pretty good handle on most questions. This one included. The title here says it all - “stuck with non-bio child.” That's followed up with “would you keep a child at your house who doesn't behave because she knows dad cannot discipline... I am all for the kids, hell” followed by “i love his 6 year old and treat him as my own”.

No one is bashing anyone. I think it's very unfair to accuse anyone (including, as I said, people who have posted over 60,000 times in total) of bashing when you've posted approximately 50 times and it's a question of posting opinions and advice, no right, no wrong answers. When you post and ask an opinion, that's what you get - opinions. Opinions from mothers and stepmothers, fathers and stepfathers, adopted children, parents of adopted children. The more OP protested, the deeper she dug her own grave, as far as I'm concerned. This site most definitely is not a blog, nor do I see this format as being a blog.

By means of explanation OP asked other people - specifically me - what I would do in her situation, specifically, engaged to a married man who put his name on a child's birth certificate (or something) and has now changed his mind because he doesn't want to be "stuck" with the child. And so I told her.

For the sake of the child, I hope you are right and this is all one big mistake and words like “stuck” and statements that OP loves one child are not another are simply a matter of an inability to express herself and not what's in her heart.

But I doubt it.

Judy, I know you generally look for the best in people, but sometimes people are just d-bags.

I would bet my salary that this is the case with the OP.

Spoken as a father who has a biological child, is trying to adopt a step child and has given a child up to adoption.

although this seems to have turned into a bashing blog.... i think glover should possibly just read what has been written and let it sink in... some people are not always very good at wording things and sometimes you just need to kind of read between the lines.... im giving benefit of the doubt here because im hoping that everyone is misreading what has been written by this person. maybe it wasnt quite intended as it was written. alot of people come to these forums out of frustration and anger and confusion.... and some people dont always use the best choice of words when they are upset about something.....
i could be totally out there with this theory... or i could be hitting the nail on the head.... you have to keep in mind that reading this stuff is often different from hearing it from the mouth if you are not an experienced writer.
am i making any sense with any of this?... i, myself, am not really an experienced writer...


Thank you soooo Much I really was typin gout of frustration.. I treat her like she is my own but she has her mothers ways.. her dad has lupus and of course can't be stressed so I try to handle the bunt of it.. but I was telling the truth that she comes over and causes a ruckus and she said that she comes over because her mom forces her.. (and she thinks ts because she wants child support) now this came out of the girls mouth)! And that she perfers to stay at home because we don't go shopping and she is bored! Mind you I bought her a Wii that she begged for!! And the next day out of rage the chick broke it!! NOW I don't mind paying child support nor her coming over we were just concerned that since her bio father never gave up parental rights and now she is starting to see him and he finds out that another mans name is there how will that go... or will my fiancé be in trouble for singing not knowing the rights were not given up.. and please don't get me wrong he loves her and she still comes over despite her rages that causes him for flare up and go back into the hospital.. I wrote what I did because I was frustrated and rushing because I was at work.. and after seeing how bad this was taken I had to take time out to write the real story down... so we have a 13 yr old step daughter who (we don't want to throw away!! ) but I feel if she is HIS daughter he should be able to care for her and dicipline her when she is wrong... Think of it this way.. u are a dad and your babymomma wants you to pay for the kids but you have NO say so in their behavior at YOUR home!! Oh and also for those who had the audasity to criticize me for being engaged to him woow the divorce is final next month me and him have been friends while he fought to keep his marriage it wasn't his fault she wanted other men.. I was just the clean up woman.. and you have been also... they have gone there separate ways she is engaged and so are we he just needs his name back... so I am sorry if I confused you guys out of my rage!! GLOVER

Remind me to change my signature line to "You can tell what's in a man's soul by the way he treats children." His or anyone else's that he's raised, a child he's allowed to call him Dad.

(Aren't there any worthwhile, single, eligible guys in the World? These "part time fathers" are posting all the time. I take that back. Their girlfriends are posting all the time. Where are the real men?)

Ugh taking way out of porportion.. please read last page

Ugh takin way outta porportion..please read last page

Judy did u read my last post... please do

Ugh takin way outta proportion..please read last page

Also I didn't say that you were wrong I knew that I would be subject to all opinions I just felt I wrote that after going at it with er momma and should have cooled off

[QUOTE=tglover08;1486878]I treat her like she is my own but she has her mothers ways.. her dad has lupus and of course can't be stressed so I try to handle the bunt of it..

And the next day out of rage the chick broke it!!

That causes him for flare up and go back into the hospital.. /QUOTE]


Let me try again - in one post you say you love the 6-year-old" but don't like the 13 year old. Now you love the 13 year old.

She's not "a chick." She's a child.

You aren't the one paying the child support - the father is. You keep putting yourself in this written scenario although you have absolutely no legal standing here.

As far as your engagement to the father - you asked me what I would do. I told you. I'm not going to change my opinion and you aren't going to change yours.

I know Lupus back and forth, upside down and straight up. I assume you're talking SLE and not Discoid. If stress is putting him back in the hospital he needs to see another Doctor, change his meds and/or hire an Attorney to end this situation. On the other hand have his Doctor submit a medical report that the stress of the situation with the child (not the stress of the divorce) is causing him health problems to this extent and use that as evidence when he tries to separate himself from the child.

You need an Attorney to look at the entire situation and give legal advice - only your fiancé and his wife (and the Court) know what he did or didn't sign, what the legal ramifications are, if he can legally change that, if it was fraud, if it was deliberate and calculated fraud. An Attorney needs to sort this out before someone is criminally charged.

[QUOTE=tglover08;1486878]I treat her like she is my own but she has her mothers ways.. her dad has lupus and of course can't be stressed so i try to handle the bunt of it..

and the next day out of rage the chick broke it!!!!!

that causes him fo flare up and go back into the hospital.. /QUOTE]


Let me try again - in one post you say you love the 6-year-old" but don't like the 13 year old. Now you love the 13 year old.

She's not "a chick." She's a child.

You aren't the one paying the child support - the father is. You keep putting yourself in this written scenario although you have absolutely no legal standing here.

As far as your engagement to the father - you asked me what I would do. I told you. I'm not going to change my opinion and you aren't going to change yours.

I know Lupus back and forth, upside down and straight up. I assume you're talking SLE and not Discoid. If stress is putting him back in the hospital he needs to see another Doctor, change his meds and/or hire an Attorney to end this situation. On the other hand have his Doctor submit a medical report that the stress of the situation with the child (not the stress of the divorce) is causing him health problems to this extent and use that as evidence when he tries to separate himself from the child.

You need an Attorney to look at the entire situation and give legal advice - only your fiance and his wife (and the Court) know what he did or didn't sign, what the legal ramifications are, if he can legally change that, if it was fraud, if it was deliberate and calculated fraud. An Attorney needs to sort this out before someone is criminally charged.


Boy boy boy!! I swear you never know until you are in the shoes!! Yes it is her that is stressing him out.. when she is gone he is fine and continues to be.. nad yes I said chick I am from the south and that's how we use the term.. instead of nitpicking see the real problem that I am screaming.. not all the fluff.. the legal crap and yes I pay for them when they come over and when they get money every month.. like I said a few days ago I was confused and I saw that I dug my whol edeeper and deeper feeding into everbodys negativity... (stupid on my behalf) but honestly how do you handle caring for a child who doesn't even want to be there.. only when she can benefit... dude you have to know this little girl and her whole family hell her own grandmother told him to get out of that situation... what would you do... I love my family and will stand behind him in all decisions he makes but damn her mothers own mother is telling ghim to get out that situation and she is a very humble woman. Sorry if I am back and forth but I can speak with a clear mind... and when I say rage I don't mean she needs medical help I mean just doing it to do it... she is very sane... believe me.. she has been to therapy and they said she was fine.. she is just trying to benefit the best way she can... this is not your normal 13 yr old... and when I said I don't like her I mean her ways... we haven't disallowed her into our home she still comes over and I don't disown her but I don't like the feel of my home when she is there... please pt yourself in my shoes...

I know Lupus back and forth, upside down and straight up. I assume you're talking SLE and not Discoid. If stress is putting him back in the hospital he needs to see another Doctor, change his meds and/or hire an Attorney to end this situation. On the other hand have his Doctor submit a medical report that the stress of the situation with the child (not the stress of the divorce) is causing him health problems to this extent and use that as evidence when he tries to separate himself from the child.

The attorney that we have said that it was both.. he has had us set up nanny cams and all of the craziness... and like I said to him and our attorney I feel she make act right after she knows that their relationship is final!! Or she may not... I will say that for the past year and a half me and her were like best friends until her real father came in the pic and that's where all hell broke loose.. now let me ask you this.. if her real dad is back and wants to spend time with her but don't want to pay.. how do you take that.. a guy hasn't been there none of her life comes and he is automatically called daddy... (mind you fiancé has been daddy) will you get out to preserve your feeling as he feels he has been slapped in the face? And also last week when it was her time to come over she sent her to FT. lauderdale to chill with him... so the more I type the more comes out.. I think its just a bunch of craziness that needs to be resolved quick... sorry for the frustation

I suspect, that the mother just had him sign something that had no legal standing. Then just started having the child use his name. This could mean that he is not the legal father and has absolutely no rights or obligations towards this child.

Scott you hit it on the head!! WOOOOOOWWW.. but I will put this in my way.. I have a child don't know the dad so I name the child after my best friend!! (fishy but lets finish) then when I marry I get my child from my mother and try to make my family look perfect so I tell my new husband.. (who will do anything to make me happy) this story that my child father signed papers to give up parental rights and I wants her to feel like she belongs and has the sdame name as us.. so the birth cert is signed... now I don't want him anymore because he is sick and I have a new man... but I still need my ex's money so I'm going to place him on child support quickly.. because the guy who thinks he is her real father has come back into her life and I need someone paying child support... crazy situation.. but that how it went.. and yes she gave the little girl her best friends last name.. hell my mom gave me herz. Not her best friend

Her real father is back in the picture, this child is confused and acting out. Adults can sure make a mess.
There is a man she has called dad for the last six years, a divorce and real dad comes back in the picture like a knight, of course this child is going to act up. Plus she is a 13 year old.
This young lady needs somebody to tell these adults to stop screwing with her life.

Her real father is back in the picture, this child is confused and acting out. Adults can sure make a mess.
There is a man she has called dad for the last six years, a divorce and real dad comes back in the picture like a knight, of course this child is going to act up. Plus she is a 13 year old.
This young lady needs somebody to tell these adults to stop screwing with her life.

U are right

How did you find out about my life? lol

And no, I'm not sure it ends. The "ex" in my life enjoys telling the kids things like I'm crazy, their father doesn't know how to treat children, they can call her new boyfriend "Daddy", they can't bring their snowpants to our house because they might lose them, etc.

Going through the same

Scott u hit it on the head!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOWWW.. but i will put this in my way.. i have a child dont know the dad so i name the child after my best friend!!!! (fishy but lets finish) then when i marry i get my child from my mother and try to make my family look perfect so i tell my new husband.. (who will do anything to make me happy) this story that my child father signed papers to give up parental rights and I wants her to feel like she belongs and has the sdame name as us.. so the birth cert is signed... now i dont want him anymore because he is sick and i have a new man... but i still need my ex's money so im gonna place him on child support quickly.. because the guy who thinks he is her real father has come back into her life and i need someone paying child support..... crazy situation.. but that how it went.. and yes she gave the lil girl her best friends last name.. hell my mom gave me herz. not her best friend



The "father" looks worse and worse as you describe the scenario and the child is the true victim here, a victim of a coniving mother (if you are to be believed) and an irresponsible step father.

I am beginning to question any judgments the "father" made or makes.

I see - as I said from the very beginning - irresponsible adults blaming everything from Lupus to love for complicating the life of this child, no question the child has some sort of self worth issues out of all of this - and you keep making excuses for the "father".

Once again - you see this as all the fault of the mother and see no responsibility on the part of the "father." You post one thing, contradict it in another post, explain you are upset. I can only imagine what this situation is like for the child, live and in person.

I would assume your fiancé is on SSD. Doesn't the child receive financial benefits out of that?

I also trust a Doctor diagnosed Lupus, not an Attorney. I was not aware you HAD an Attorney - what is he/she doing about all of this?

The "father" looks worse and worse as you describe the scenario and the child is the true victim here, a victim of a coniving mother (if you are to be believed) and an irresponsible step father.

I am beginning to question any judgments the "father" made or makes.

I see - as I said from the very beginning - irresponsible adults blaming everything from Lupus to love for complicating the life of this child, no question the child has some sort of self worth issues out of all of this - and you keep making excuses for the "father".

Once again - you see this as all the fault of the mother and see no responsibility on the part of the "father." You post one thing, contradict it in another post, explain you are upset. I can only imagine what this situation is like for the child, live and in person.

I would assume your fiance is on SSD. Doesn't the child receive financial benefits out of that?

I also trust a Doctor diagnosed Lupus, not an Attorney. I was not aware you HAD an Attorney - what is he/she doing about all of this?

I never said that "dad" was perfect... in all honesty he wants her to stay around... but!! He wants her to be there because she loves him and understand that there is no chance for them in the future. The lawyer is telling us to place "nice" with the mother because of the stuff that she is trying to pull. Story goes deeper... and a lot of this is her mothers fault with me speaking to her she says it proud that she wasn't taking care of no sick a** man.. and no he is not on social security they say that he is too young and healthy looking..

?? So I ask you how do you care for a child or person that doesn't want to be cared for.. funny how people that have been through this understands this and even my frustarion and Thanks to all that allowed me to vent and correct myself. YOU can't PLEASE EVERYBODY!! And I will not try to.. even if I wasn't with him I would still see his side NICE guy Got fooked for loving the wrong woman.. and now this what's happens... the victims are him and the daughter.. he is the one has to watch her call another man daddy

[QUOTE=JudyKayTee;1487129]The "father" looks worse and worse as you describe the scenario and the child is the true victim here, a victim of a coniving mother (if you are to be believed) and an irresponsible step father.

I just saw what you got your info from... how is he looking worst when he did something that he thought wuld be good for his family... u know the vows sickness and health thick and thin... I marry you I marry your kids... Judy you act like you live this perfect life of no drama.. not one time did I say he didn't want her not one time did I say the didn't like her... take all of the responses and come up with what you want..

[QUOTE=JudyKayTee;1487129]The "father" looks worse and worse as you describe the scenario and the child is the true victim here, a victim of a coniving mother (if you are to be believed) and an irresponsible step father.

i just saw what u got ur info from.... how is he looking worst when he did something that he thought wuld be good for his family... u know the vows sickness and health thick and thin... I marry you i marry yuor kids... Judy u act like u live this perfect life of no drama.. not one time did i say he didnt want her not one time did i say the didnt like her.... take all of the responses and come up with what u want..



This is turning into a message board so I'll say what I have to say and then you can argue with yourself.

Don't tell me about my perfect life of "no drama". You know nothing about me. Nothing and that's obvious from what you've posted. Apparently when you run out of arguments you resort to insults.

I'm surprised you haven't been pulled from this thread for using text speak.

As far as your fiancé not qualifying for SSD because he looks "too healthy" - how a person looks isn't the basis for collecting benefits. Benefits are based on his general health and if you are to be believed he is in and out of the hospital with Lupus flare caused by stress. I'm not saying it's easy to collect. I AM saying that "how he looks" does not determine the extent or nature of his disability.

This thread needs to be closed. The OP received plenty of good advice already and is now attacking people who don't agree with her view of things.

Thread closed