I need advice on how to handle the Ex-Affair. I had a affair with a married woman 20 years older than me. She is a woman and I am. She told me that she was leaving the marriage amd was a lesbian and that she was working on coming out. She even slept with another woman while we were on and off in the 3 years we saw each other. She now has gone to rehab in Florida-for a drinking problem as well and our relationship ended when I found out about the other woman and she had not left the husband as well. She has texted me and called me over the 18 months she has been out of my life and in Florida supposedly arranging her unmanageable life. I have told her over and over to either come out of the closet and choose me or leave me alone although I do love her, her communication is to harmful to me. She agrees to leave me alone and then a few months or even a half of a year and boom a text or hang up call. She has not come out nor do I know if she is really gay? I asked her to be a friend of recent knowing we could'nt but tried to put my best foot forward. I heard about how well she is doing and all these new friends she has in Florida. She never calls on text and it's very superficial. I asked her in the text back to tell me what she wants a friendship (Cause, I cannot be one after how heavy it was for me) a step from her alcoholic programs or does she love me and I get ignored. She texts me and then when I confront matters she ignores my questions and chooses what she will respond to if anything at all? I asked her if she were dating-I got no text-Just, about her cat and friends. She was helping the new friends move and when I needed her to help me and we were still seeing each other-She had the nerve to have sex with me the night before and leave the day of the move and not help at all... So, I reallly am not interested in hearing from her about these things. She says the past is the past now--So, what do you think she is doing to me? She says the past is the past-Then. Let me be I say to her. Yet, She text me in a pattern of this type for over two years since we ended things-We have not even seen each other in at least 2.5 to three years and she wants to be my friend?--Can someone tell me their opinion of this and what they would do.
I begged her to call me and set the air about why she makes contact-and she shuts me down and out every time... Thanks

Send her text to spam and delete her from your emails. You have been carrying this false hope way to long, and have gotten absolutely no where, and never will.

Until you let go, she lives rent free in your head, and you don't need her in your life, because she brings nothing but chaos, confusion, and hurt feelings.

So why do you put up with it?? STOP IT! No contact with her, or from her, whatsoever.

I know this is so. I do and Thank You for the advice. Can, you tell me why someone would continue the harm after being told how hurtful it is. Is this person gay or mental?

Her behavior to me, seems to be typical of someone with an addiction... alcohol addiction impacts all aspects of life... her life is typically in disarray... both physically, mentally and emotionally...

Her reasons are irrelevant to what you must do to free yourself from her confusion.

People do dumb, stupid stuff to others, because they CAN!

I agree do agree alcohol ruins the lives of people in the alcoholics life as well. I guess, what I am seeking here is if the ex is gay-She is married to a man and slept with two woman and me for 3 years-I think she went to the rehab to blame the alcohol for the lesbian activity and yet-continues contact to me the ex woman-Would a rehab tell her to do this?
Alcohol would not effect you having lesbian sex with two woman for that long-I've heard of girls experimenting once but, for years? She even called me in front of the husband and said she loved me and I heard him in the background and yet-When I cut contact and moved away from all this she texted me to be friends and I said "No"-I want you or nothing and she says "Okay-I understand-I will let you be" and then texts me a few months later-I need help to deal with what she is doing-Is she gay? Why, do this after all the rehab?