My fiancé has been paying child support for 3 years, since his daughter (whom he's never been allowed to meet) was born. His payments are taken directly from his paycheck, and he's also required to pay for family health insurance. He knows for a fact that the mother may not even know about the health insurance, as he is sent two insurance cards but has no way of getting them to her, since he's never been allowed to know where she is. He doesn't know if she gets the child support payments, as everything goes through the state, and they won't tell her where she is, or even give him a phone number. On top of all this, the payments coming out put him below the poverty level, and I've been supporting him instead of us supporting each other. Honestly, we're on the verge of bankruptcy before we've even gotten married. I don't know what to do.

Hello dj:

The only place anything is going to change, is court. Your fiancé has to find a way to get there. He needs to hire an attorney, and pay for it any way he can - not necessarily for a reduction in your payments - but more importantly, to arrange for visitation. His daughter deserves to know both parents.

That is, of course, unless the reason he was denied visitation in the first place is still valid.

She's probably on welfare, and the state is covering her health needs. Does the state care that she's insured and doesn't know about it? No. The judge will, though. And, if he's paying beyond the norm, it can be reduced. But, he’s going to be paying until she's 18.

excon