Hi I'm 21 and my husband is 26. We got married 4 years ago when I was only 16. He came from bosnia and I mostly didn't see him just on vacation. When we met each other we used to have a lot a sex and everything was cool. Than when he moved over here we only had one time in 4 years. I don't understand the reason. Even asked him if I was to ugly or just not attractiv nomore. His answer was I'm just not in to sex like this. But doesn't he think that I want it sometimes? Every time when he's not working than he watches a lot of porns and it makes me feel all stupid cause that makes me realize that he isn't got a problem with sex cause if that is interesting to him than why not having it himself? Even asked to if he don't want to try viagra but he got heart problems so its better not too. I just don't know what to do nomore. Maybe you know something.
Thanks

Maybe he thinks the "zing" has gone out of your sex.

Try and spice things up a bit by finding out what turns him on the most( like kinky talk etc) and try and turn him on and tease.

When he comes back from work you could have a cabdlelit dinner all laid out with candles in the bedroom, set the mood.

See, I look at the other way around. You don';t have a problem he does. It is called porn addiction. I would suggest that you sit him down and have a conversation with him about the porn he watches. Suggest that he get some professional help with his addiction. If he refuses, I guess you only have a could have choices left to you.

Maybe you should tell him that you want it whether he does or not, and if he's not willing you'll find someone who is. I'm not suggesting that you go through with "someone", but maybe you should get to the heart of it once and for all. Why is he really watching porn?

Did he marry you to get into another country? Perhaps he doesn't find you attractive and simply used you to gain citizenship away from Boznia?

I'm not sure of your circumstances and I hope that is not true, but it seems unusual that a young man wouldn't want to have sex with his young wife and prefer porn.

Sometimes if it looks like a duck, it's a duck.

Block the porn on your computer, and change his screen saver message to say "if you want sex, you need to talk to me"

Honestly--because I'm not feeling in a charitable mood tonight, and because you're still VERY young:

DUMP HIM.

Kick his rear end to the curb. If he married you to get into your country, get his visa revoked, and get his sent back to Bosnia.

Find another guy that prefers you to his hand.

Did he marry you to get into another country? Perhaps he doesn't find you attractive and simply used you to gain citizenship away from Boznia?

I'm not sure of your circumstances and I hope that is not true, but it seems unusual that a young man wouldn't want to have sex with his young wife and prefer porn.

Sometimes if it looks like a duck, it's a duck.


I think you hit the nail on the head with this one... I've seen it happen to several people I know personally. Both men and women pulled the scam. THey get married under false pretences to a green card they would otherwise have to wait much longer to get.

And just and FYI for those who think is a sure thing... its not. Just because you marry an American doesn't mean you automatically get a green card. You don't. I know several people who are married that have been turned down. And in two cases the spouse has to leave the USA for several years then reapply from OUTSIDE the USA after the waiting period..

Bosnia? Is he a Christian or a Muslim, perhaps he has no religion. Do you think he married you to get into the US legally?

Anyway, I don't think you have anything in common with this man at this time, am I right?

Time to take a good long look at this relationship... be prepared, you may have to chalk the marriage up to being a mistake.

Best wishes, :)

I don't know don't really think he just got married just to come to states. Cause I seen he was really happy in his country and still is when he goes there on vacation. Had a job a nice house all his friends. And here he just got a job and me. So I would say he had it way better over there. We been separeted for almost 2 years and he still stayed but didn't feel good with the situation. So I really seen that he loves me. Or maybe it was just play. He was just so trilled that I took him back like a little kid in a toyshop. But next time he's here ima try some things that you people have wrote me. Cause I think it might really work. The most I like the suggestion with the screen saver. Kind of sounds a little funny though. But ima try that one for sure cause I want to know what he says to it. The one with the candle light dinner already tried that with desous and and it worked but I felt like he didn't really want to just did it to make me happy. Well I think ima try, see what happens. Just want to thank you for answering on my question I really appriciate it.
Thanks

Most illegals don't come here because the hate their mother country. They come because they want to break our laws to have an opportunity to make money to send home to their families.

They can like it here, or hate it here, but few actually hate the countries they leave. Except for certain Hollywood types...

It doesn't look to me like something happened to your sex life it seems like one never exsited... He definitely doesn't need viagra if he still get aroused and wants sex... he just doesn't want sex with you.

Your husband may no longer be attracted to you. And he may be addicted to porn.

I would tell him not to watch anymore porn in our home if he won't have sex with me. That is very disrespectful towards you. Especially if he knows you want sex. With porn out the way he may be able to look around and smell the roses and notice you too.

Is he lazy?
Is he over weight?
Is he uncomfortable about his body?
How often does he watch porn?
What kind of porn is it?


I just can't imagine four years of marriage and no sex... how does that happen? Do you just not initiate sex? Does he turn you down if you do?

Yea I know.. I did tell him not to watch porns on my computer nomore and stuff like that. He did stop it for a couple a days but than it started again. Can't believe it.
No he's not lazy just is working a whole lot and mostly comes home around 11 or 12 even works on sundays. So yea I guess he isn't got time for sex in that way but he always kind of finds the time to watch this you know.
No he's not overweight. But I am now. Maybe that doesn't attract him cause I haven't been like that when we got married.
He loves his body so I don't think that is the problem.
Always when he got a min and don't have to do none
He just watches like soft porns but I don't really look at it cause it makes me mad that he does it at all..
Well before we didn't have no more sex I wouldnta been able to imagine that 2 but you know if you love someone you just deal with some kind of you know what I mean.
He does turn me down when I'm initiating it and mostly says some like "im not in the mood right now", "im not that much in to sex", "i gotta get up in the morning", and all that

Thanks for all the answers

Keep in mind in certain cases guys like women can't just flip the switch to go mode. With a lot of work that's tireing or stressful the brain / penis interconnect isn't there. The part of our mind that likes to see naked ladies never shuts off however. Just because he can watch naked ladies doesn't mean he has unwound enough from work to do the horizontal bop.

1 Time in 4 years... why are you even together. What is the purpose of this relationship or what ever it it is.

You need to take a step back and analyze this situation... ask yourself is this really what you want. Time is ticking!!

Oh I missed that part about only one time in four years... thats not right... no matter how much work he's doing or how much stress he's going to eventually need relief. Something is going on here, and its NOT about you gaining a few pounds (or Kilograms) of weight. Unless we are talking a LOT of weight.

Honey get out... he doesn't care... get out... you know the answer to your question.