I have 3 small kids ,9 , 7 , and 6. I was married to an abusive alcoholic nightmare for 9 years. We finally got out last year and I filed for divorce ( still being harassed by the ex today) I have full custody, and I dropped the request for supervised visits and gave him every other weekend visitation rights based on a few conditions, No alcohol around the kids , and his live in girlfriend coudnt spend the night when the kids are there .I agreed to the same ( although I don't have a live in) He has broken BOTH conditions, numerous times. He curses at them constantly, and puts them in a very dysfunctional environment when they are with him. ( shacked up with giflfriend, alcohol, police being called , fighting etc)

Child support is only 324.00 per month which is only 1/3 of what its supposed to be and is temporary he still doesn't have a job. He was only employed for about 4 of the 9 years we were married.His family has been helping him pay the child support.

The kids and I are living with my parents and I am trying to save money to move out. I want to move out of state, I live in a VERY remote area and it is going to be challenging to raise 3 kids alone anywhere, but here its all the more challenging because I live in such a small town, and can't make the amount of money I need to support 3 kids.

I want to move out of state, I have been spending a lot of time in a state about 1200 miles away from here and I want to move there and start a new life with my kids. I do not want to take them away from their dad, and would be willing to give up child support , or at least reduce it in order to finance his trips for visitation. I would also be willing to fly down with the kids and let them stay with him during the summer for a few weeks and holidays etc. They love their dad and he is good to them as long as he is not drunk.

All the divorce papers say is that I have custody and he has visitation, and that both parties must comply with uniform chancery court rule 8.06 regarding notifying courts and other party of new address. So do I have to tell the court that I intend on moving? Do I still need permission? It is in the children's best interest to not be around their dad all the time , I do not want them improperly influenced by his actions and the way he lives his life. I would like to get some sort of visitation schedule in place before I move , I do not want the kids to go more than a few weeks without seeing their dad. Do we have to involve the courts at all? I have talked to my ex and let him know what I was thinking . One day he says " fine , jsut as long as Ican see them " the next day he says " go ahead and move but youre not taking the kids" he is just trying to give me a hard time .

I have 3 small kids ,9 , 7 , and 6. I was married to an abusive alcoholic nightmare for 9 years. We finally got out last year and I filed for divorce ( still being harassed by the ex today) I have full custody, and I dropped the request for supervised visits and gave him every other weekend visitation rights based on a few conditions, No alcohol around the kids , and his live in girlfriend coudnt spend the night when the kids are there .I agreed to the same ( although I dont have a live in) He has broken BOTH conditions, numerous times. He curses at them constantly, and puts them in a very dysfunctional enviornment when they are with him. ( shacked up with giflfriend, alcohol, police being called , fighting etc)

Child support is only 324.00 per month which is only 1/3 of what its supposed to be and is temporary he still doesnt have a job. He was only employed for about 4 of the 9 years we were married.His family has been helping him pay the child support.

The kids and I are living with my parents and I am trying to save money to move out. I want to move out of state, I live in a VERY remote area and it is going to be challenging to raise 3 kids alone anywhere, but here its all the more challenging bc I live in such a small town, and can't make the amount of money I need to support 3 kids.

I want to move out of state, I have been spending alot of time in a state about 1200 miles away from here and I want to move there and start a new life with my kids. I do not want to take them away from their dad, and would be willing to give up child support , or at least reduce it in order to finance his trips for visitation. I would also be willing to fly down with the kids and let them stay with him during the summer for a few weeks and holidays etc. They love their dad and he is good to them as long as he is not drunk.

All the divorce papers say is that I have custody and he has visitation, and that both parties must comply with uniform chancery court rule 8.06 regarding notifying courts and other party of new address. So do I have to tell the court that I intend on moving? do I still need permission? it is in the childrens best intrest to not be around their dad all the time , I do not want them improperly influenced by his actions and the way he lives his life. I would like to get some sort of visitation schedule in place before I move , I do not want the kids to go more than a few weeks without seeing their dad. Do we have to involve the courts at all? I have talked to my ex and let him know what I was thinking . One day he says " fine , jsut as long as Ican see them " the next day he says " go ahead and move but youre not taking the kids" he is jsut trying to give me a hard time .


If he's a danger the children then go back to Court, prove he's a danger and get his visitation stopped or changed to supervised.

And, yes, you have to - and it's spelled out clearly - notify the Court when you move out of the jurisdiction and very probably need the permission of the father. You can't just remove his children from him, whether he's a bad parent or not.

So go to Court, set forth your arguments, request the necessary relief.

Just a little more info...

My attorney knew during the divorce process that I was thinking of moving , and he says that in Mississippi that whatever is NOT specified in the divorce decree , doesn't exist. Therefore I can move wherever I want. Because he didn't ask for any stipulations on us moving , also according to my attorney , had he asked for stipulations that I couldn't move , it would have been a voilation of my constitutional rights... So he says as long as its not mentioned , I can do what I want. Just like I am able to claim the kids on my taxes and the ex can't because its not specified in the decree and I have full custody, so he has no say... does this sound correct?

He is not a danger to the kids as defined by the court... meaning he would have to be a serious crack addict and beat the kids with a rubber hose in order to be defined as " a danger" in Mississippi. It is VERY hard to say that someone is unfit in this state. He is however subjecting them to dysfunction , alcohol, pulling out guns when someone makes him angry, he is irresponsible and mentally unstable. He has several mental disorders and self medicates with alcohol. One of the MAIN reasons I divorced him.so its not a good environment for the kids , but no court would find him a danger.

Just a little more info...

My attorney knew during the divorce process that I was thinking of moving , and he says that in Mississippi that whatever is NOT specified in the divorce decree , doesnt exist. therefore I can move whereever I want. because he didnt ask for any stipulations on us moving , also according to my attorney , had he asked for stipulations that I couldnt move , it would have been a voilation of my constitutional rights...So he says as long as its not mentioned , I can do what I want. Just like I am able to claim the kids on my taxes and the ex can't because its not specified in the decree and I have full custody, so he has no say ... does this sound correct?



When you said you "gave him" certain visitation I thought it was part of your divorce.

In NY (where I am) you cannot move and take the children away from their father (support or no support, that's another issue). It doesn't have to be written into the decree. It's the law.

Obviously Mississippi is different - if your Attorney said you can go (and your Attorney is far more familiar with your State law than anyone reading here and researching) I would say it's "safe" to go.

But keep in mind that now you have some control of the situation when the children are with him. You will lose that if you are in another State and he files and wins visitation and/or custody.

Only you know the best outcome for the children.

I filed for divorce last yr and ended up settling in October 08. I got custody, he has visitation rights every other weekend, and there is a temp order for child support in the amount of 324.09. Its temp because he is on Workers comp and hasn't worked in a year, even then he was only on the job for 3 weeks. Anyhow , the payments ( if he was working ) should be $1192.00 per month ( huge difference) , he is trying to stay on workers comp as long as he can to keep from working and paying the extra money, meanwhile my kids are suffering. First question: Anyway I can increase the payments to what they would be , being that he is not back on the job yet? And what would I have to go through to prove that he is not really hurt as bad as he says... He deer hunts , drinks beer , and rides 4 wheelers , among many other things, but he can't work because he's " hurt"

Also , the divorce papers say that there is to be no alcohol, or overnight visits with someone he is not married to , and that he is supposed to get and maintain life insurance in the amount of 100,000 on himself for the kids, and also maintain medical insurance for the kids, he has done NONE of this. What can I do about that? We were divorced in October, he has had ample time to get all theis done.

What state are you in?. you may be able to hold him in contempt on some of those issues depending on what state your divorce is filed in.

Mississippi

AND to top it off he STILL has my things in his possession , that is also in the divorce decree that he agreed to return my property, most of it belonging to my kids. Its just a mess

I don't believe that you will be able to do anything about the child support being changed while he is on disabiltiy.. but some of the other issues may put him in contempt... however, I'm not sure how much weight it will hold in the courts... all you can do is try... file papers for contempt with the life and health insurance... and see what happens. Unfortunately, I think you might be better to put yourself in the frame of mind that you just need to supply those kids with what they need... if you need to file contempt, then do it, but also in the mean time, maybe you can go through the state to get health insurace for your children... as far as the life insurance policy, I'm not sure the courts will push that... I'm not sure if what I am writing is making sense or not... I hope it does... divorce is such a nasty part of life...

Thanks for you answers... I know it's a very nasty part of life... Its even nastier when dealing with someone like him..

Thanks Again

I went through a divorce also. I have two kids... basically I had the attitude that I was going to do what I had to do to provide them with what they needed... if I needed health insurance... then I will go through the state, etc... please don't get yourself wrapped up in the "anger game"... it hurts everyone all the way around... and in the end, no one wins anyway... the best revenge you can have is to be happy... good luck

No you can not make him pay what he would if he was working the job, his payments are based on what he is receiving now.

You can not force him to take a job or go back to work. If he decides to be the new fry cook at McDonalds and earn 8 bucks a hour, he can do that if he wants to, if he wants to live in a homeless shelter and not make any money, he can do that do,
You can not force him to do a job.

You can report him to the workers comp insurance company if you want to. But most likely then he gets fired and loses his workers comp payment also.

As for as your things, normally when a divorce is "final" both parties sign they have gotten there things.
If you have "things" go to his home, have a police officer go with you, and get your stuff, and if he will not give it, file a motion in court to order him to give it to you

Why is he on disability and what direction is he going to take. If its permanent then he needs to apply for SSD and then your children will get a check from SSD. You won't even have to deal with him so long as the paperwork is filed.

He is not on disibility , it is Workers Compensation. He twisted his knee at work 6 months ago and keep saying " ouch, I can't work " to the Dr.

As others have pointed out, you can't make him do anything until he is off Workmen's Compensation.

As for your personal belongings, you probably won't see them. My husband never got back half of the things he was awarded in his divorce, and that was almost 4 years ago.

Just a quick question...

When I filed for divorce last year , I told my lawyer that I was moving in June of this year, he said it wouldn't be a problem because I would get custody of the kids... Long story short, my husband was giving me A lot of problems, didn't want the divorce and refused to sign the papers... and my lawyer called me one afternoon and said his lawyer was demanding that I settle for joint legal custody , and then he would sign the papers (which he still didn't do for months) , anyhow I gave in and gave him joint legal custody , AFTER my lawyer assured me that legal custody was NOTHING more than allowing the ex to put in his two cents in about the kids but that I didn't have to listen to him at all , and that it was no big deal because I have physical custody... Now that I am trying to move in a few months , I am researching everything I have to get done legally in order to move. Did my lawyer tell me wrong, about the legal custody? My ex is a alcoholic bum that lives with his parents and his girlfriend, he can't make decisions for himself , much less my children.

Well, aside from the "dont have to listen to him" part, that is what legal custody is. You have to jointly decide on legal matters.

Providing he does not have visitation, you should be allowed to move. I would check with the court though.

He does have visitation... that's the problem. We didn't go to trial , I agreed to the standard visitation of every other weekend, in order to get things over with. And even though my younger two cry and refuse to go to his house, I still try to keep things civil with him and tell them they only have to stay one night if they want to come home I will come get them etc.. . I bought them a cell prepaid cell phone just in case they need me to come get them.. I do everything I can to keep it civil and NEVER talk about their father in a bad way around them.

Anyhow... So because of the legal custody , he may be able to stop me from moving? I really don't want to go back to court on this , I am burnt out on lawyer fees... If we could come to an agreement on visitation , would we still have to go to court?

He does have visitation... thats the problem. We didnt go to trial , I agreed to the standard visitation of every other weekend, in order to get things over with. And even though my younger two cry and refuse to go to his house, I still try to keep things civil with him and tell them they only have to stay one night if they want to come home I will come get them etc. ...I bought them a cell prepaid cell phone just in case they need me to come get them .. I do everything I can to keep it civil and NEVER talk about their father in a bad way around them.

Anyhow... So because of the legal custody , he may be able to stop me from moving? I really dont want to go back to court on this , I am burnt out on lawyer fees.... If we could come to an agreement on visitation , would we still have to go to court?

He might, sure. The real question is will he? He has rights as a parent and you cannot just take those away because you want to. If he'll let you move, then its not a problem. If you try without his permission he can very possibly stop it.

He does have visitation... thats the problem. We didnt go to trial , I agreed to the standard visitation of every other weekend, in order to get things over with. And even though my younger two cry and refuse to go to his house, I still try to keep things civil with him and tell them they only have to stay one night if they want to come home I will come get them etc. ...I bought them a cell prepaid cell phone just in case they need me to come get them .. I do everything I can to keep it civil and NEVER talk about their father in a bad way around them.

Anyhow... So because of the legal custody , he may be able to stop me from moving? I really dont want to go back to court on this , I am burnt out on lawyer fees.... If we could come to an agreement on visitation , would we still have to go to court?

I'd be curious to know what state you are in because move-aways in California can be difficult--very difficult, and if you are in California he definitely CAN stop you from moving. You better believe it.

Im in Mississippi...

This was the exact conversation with my attorney: Im moving 1200 miles away in June 09, what do I need to do ? Nothing , it won't be a problem, people move away all the time , you could marry someone from Maine, or Paris! And need to move away... as long as he doesn't bring it up to his lawyer that you are moving , and even if he does , I will make the argument that it s a violation of your constitutional rights and we will win anyway... So on the last day of court , I will let his lawyer know , " by the way she is moving and taking the kids" and then there's nothing he can do about it at that point... He said that in Mississippi anything that is NOT in the decree, doesn't exist, and being that there is nothing saying I can't move , and he didn't raise an argument at all ,then I can...

He knew I was moving from the very start, so he had fair opportunity to raise an argument, but soemhow I just don't think its going to be as easy as my attorney said...

The only thing in my decree that says about me moving is that " both parties must comply with chancery court rule that we must , within 5 days , notify the court, and each other, of our new address.

Im in Mississippi...

This was the exact conversation with my attorney: Im moving 1200 miles away in June 09, what do I need to do ? Nothing , it wont be a problem, people move away all the time , you could marry someone from Maine, or Paris! and need to move away...as long as he doesnt bring it up to his lawyer that you are moving , and even if he does , I will make the argument that it s a violation of your constituional rights and we will win anyway.... So on the last day of court , I will let his lawyer know , " by the way she is moving and taking the kids" and then theres nothing he can do about it at that point... He said that in Mississippi anything that is NOT in the decree, doesnt exist, and being that there is nothing saying I can't move , and he didnt raise an argument at all ,then I can...

He knew I was moving from the very start, so he had fair opportunity to raise an argument, but soemhow I just dont think its going to be as easy as my attorney said ....

The only thing in my decree that says about me moving is that " both parties must comply with chancery court rule that we must , within 5 days , notify the court, and eachother, of our new address.

I am not up on Miss. Law, but that sounds suspect to me. This basically says that the custodial parent can, at will, leave and there is nothing that the non-custodial parent can do about it.

And its not a violation of your constitutional rights. Saying YOU can't move might be. The father has rights too and your rights are not more important than his.

""And its not a violation of your constitutional rights. Saying YOU can't move might be""

Exactly... But I think what he meant was I have custody , and if I move , the kids go with me , an trust me , there is no chance in a million years that my ex would ever get custody , nor would he ever want it...

Yeah - like I said... I'm not sure about Miss. but that's not how it works in most states.

I am sure one of the local family law experts is researching this.

Have you asked the father if he cares if you move? If he doesn't this is all moot anyway.

Im in Mississippi...

This was the exact conversation with my attorney: Im moving 1200 miles away in June 09, what do I need to do ? Nothing , it wont be a problem, people move away all the time , you could marry someone from Maine, or Paris! and need to move away...as long as he doesnt bring it up to his lawyer that you are moving , and even if he does , I will make the argument that it s a violation of your constituional rights and we will win anyway.... So on the last day of court , I will let his lawyer know , " by the way she is moving and taking the kids" and then theres nothing he can do about it at that point... He said that in Mississippi anything that is NOT in the decree, doesnt exist, and being that there is nothing saying I can't move , and he didnt raise an argument at all ,then I can...

He knew I was moving from the very start, so he had fair opportunity to raise an argument, but soemhow I just dont think its going to be as easy as my attorney said ....

The only thing in my decree that says about me moving is that " both parties must comply with chancery court rule that we must , within 5 days , notify the court, and eachother, of our new address.

I think you got some pretty bad legal advice and should get a second opinion in Mississippi. The constitutional rights argument is nonsense.

He "thinks" I am moving to be with my ex boyfriend that lives near the area ( The ex has been diagnosed as severely mentally unstable)... And swears that no one will ever have me if he cant... and THAT is the only reason he has a problem with me moving, other than the fact that he wants me back , and is still harassing me to this day about giving him another chance blah blah blah. He would do anything to keep ME here, but it has nothing to do with the children. I am moving to a bigger city because I know that I need to have the equivalent of a two parent income in order to support my kids , and I cannot do that here in Southern Mississippi. I have spent a lot of time near Philly and am happy there and that's why Imade the decision to move to that particular area, plus I have friends and a support system there.

He "thinks" I am moving to be with my ex boyfriend that lives near the area ( The ex has been diagnosed as severly mentally unstable).... And swears that no one will ever have me if he can't ....and THAT is the only reason he has a problem with me moving, other than the fact that he wants me back , and is still harassing me to this day about giving him another chance blah blah blah. He would do anything to keep ME here, but it has nothing to do with the children. I am moving to a bigger city because I know that I need to have the equivilent of a two parent income in order to support my kids , and I cannot do that here in Southern Mississippi. I have spent alot of time near Philly and am happy there and thats why Imade the decision to move to that particular area, plus I have friends and a support system there.

I think Caddy nailed it. I agree and think you got some bad advice.

And it doesn't matter if he can keep you there or not. He can keep the kids there and I don't imagine that you will go without them. Result remains the same.

They are his kids too and moving THEM against his will violates HIS rights.

Ok... so from the advice I have gotten so far , I realize that the best thing to do is to work things out with the ex before I leave , If he won't agree , I may have to go to court, I have written a visitation plan and would like you opinions on it , I believe it is more than fair. But , will it be enough to convinnce a judge? It is a work in progress and will need to be written over before I take it before a judge, but these are the high points . If anyone has any suggestions of what needs to be added/ deleted , I would appriciate it . Of course , I will take out CP and NCP , and reword it , so please don't critique that.
Thanks!





NCP may visit at anytime, At his expense, providing it has been prearranged at least 5 days in advance and doesn't interfere with already made plans involving the children, in which case CP would be willing to negoitiate and plan for a more suitable visitation time.

** Any extended visitation time will be determined by school schedules , and will begin the day after school dismisses and will end the day before school resumes**

Proposed visitation schedule: (CP is responsible for the cost of transportation for the following schedule)

Summer Holidays - 30 consecutive days during summer months ; Days being either in one visit,( first four weeks ; last four weeks) ; or broken down into two separate visits of fifteen days each, at anytime school is not in session.

Thanksgiving Holidays: From the day following school dismissal to the day before school is set to resume.

Christmas Holidays: From December 25th at 2:00 PM with the kids returning by 6:00 PM on the Friday before school is set to resume.

Spring Break: One Day after school dismisses through day before school is set to resume.

Any other approved extended time is to be determined by school schedules.

NCP will also be informed of phone numbers where he may reach the children at any reasonable time, and will also have access to the children by their cellular phones ,and email accounts, if any. Furthermore, both CP and NCP do agree to abide by Uniform Chancery Court Rule 8.06 of the Mississippi Code , with regard to addresses of both parties.

Beginning October 2008 ,NCP has standard visitation rights of every other weekend and is currently enforcing given rights. Giving NCP a total of 26 weekends, or 52 days per year.

With the new proposed schedule , visitation would be increased to a minimum of 56 days.

NCP currently has no involvement with any extra curricular activities nor anything school related involving the children, no involvement with and decisions including educational or medical , so no routine as far as these matters would be upset.

It's not what you write out - it's what your husband agrees to or what the Court orders that matters. While this is a starting point unless you enter into a separation agreement the Court is going to make its own determination of what is fair and reasonable.

If you are in one State and your husband in another, who is going to pay the transportation for the children, supervise them on their trips, and how reasonable are your suggested provisions - ?

You are very foolish if you don't consult with an Attorney. You have little understanding how the system works and I think you may very well be wasting your time cutting and pasting agreements.

I don't mean to sound as harsh as this reads but you need someone with legal experience and knowledge to walk you through this.

I don't think it's a bad schedule or unreasonable, but if I were the NCP I wouldn't agree to it. Going months without seeing my kids would not mitigate having 4 whole extra days. Plus 30 days consecutive makes for significant scheduling issues for the rest of life.

I am not saying it is a bad plan and he very well may agree to it. But if his goal is as you state to keep you around, why would he agree to it? It is well within his rights to not allow you to move (presumably).

I don't think he will agree to it , but I thought what I had come up with was a good starting point for negotiations if I have to go to court, I will nedd to show the court that Ido actually have the kids best interest at heart and am trying to move away to make a better life for them and that I am not , in anyway trying to take the kids away from their dad by moving.I am trying to come up with a reasonable plan to keep him in their lives.

I dont think he will agree to it , but I thought what I had come up with was a good starting point for negotiations if I have to go to court, i will nedd to show the court that Ido actually have the kids best interest at heart and am trying to move away to make a better life for them and that I am not , in anyway trying to take the kids away from their dad by moving.I am trying to come up with a reasonable plan to keep him in their lives.



Your writing a proposed visitation/custody plan to which he does not consent does not show the Court much of anything. You haven't addressed transportation costs and chaperone costs - that I can see - and the entire "schedule" won't work if you move away.

It appears to be written very much from your perspective - and that could hurt you.

Honestly, I'm not trying to give you a hard time. You need an Attorney to explain your rights and the options which are available - and perhaps go over the hard, legal truth of things with you, how the Court does and doesn't work. I guarantee your agreement will be useless to an Attorney.

Judy:

I have an attorney.I have been informed of my rights and NCPs rights , according to him. I am trying to get around using an attorney for this particular matter. NCP doesn't have an attorney. You say that it appears to be written just from my perepective... elaborte please.. Im curoius because if that is what you see , then I need to work on that. I am trying to be fair to everyone, and actually by giving him the kids for almost every holiday , I thought that kind of put me on the losing end.Also , it would state in the agreement I present to NCP for his approval that I will be responsible for transporting the kids back home and getting them to his home safely. Iwill not have them flying , so Iwould have to drive them. I own my own business , so that would be possible for me to take the time off.

Judy:

I have an attorney.I have been informed of my rights and NCPs rights , according to him. I am trying to get around using an attorney for this particular matter. NCP doesnt have an attorney. You say that it appears to be written just from my perepective... elaborte please.. Im curoius because if that is what you see , then I need to work on that. I am trying to be fair to everyone, and actually by giving him the kids for almost every holiday , I thought that kind of put me on the losing end.Also , it would state in the agreement I present to NCP for his approval that I will be responsible for transporting the kids back home and getting them to his home safely. Iwill not have them flying , so Iwould have to drive them. I own my own business , so that would be possible for me to take the time off.

You have the kids over 300 days a year. No one is going to view you as being on the losing end of anything.

You want to drive from PA to MS for every holiday? Im just guessing but isn't that about 1500 miles... each way? NO way a court is going to view that as being in the best interest of the kids.

Good Point Steve

BUT... I already have the kids over 300 days a year anyhow... He has no Holidays as of now , per our divorce decree.

Judy:

I have an attorney.I have been informed of my rights and NCPs rights , according to him. I am trying to get around using an attorney for this particular matter. NCP doesnt have an attorney. You say that it appears to be written just from my perepective... elaborte please.. Im curoius because if that is what you see , then I need to work on that. I am trying to be fair to everyone, and actually by giving him the kids for almost every holiday , I thought that kind of put me on the losing end.Also , it would state in the agreement I present to NCP for his approval that I will be responsible for transporting the kids back home and getting them to his home safely. Iwill not have them flying , so Iwould have to drive them. I own my own business , so that would be possible for me to take the time off.


I would never consent to this. In fact, I'd be screaming.

"Summer Holidays - 30 consecutive days during summer months ; Days being either in one visit ( first four weeks ; last four weeks) ; or broken down into two seperate visits of fifteen days each, at anytime school is not in session; Thanksgiving Holidays: From the day following school dismissal to the day before school is set to resume; Christmas Holidays: From December 25th at 2:00 PM with the kids returning by 6:00 PM on the Friday before school is set to resume.; Spring Break: One Day after school dismisses through day before school is set to resume.

He is entitled to see the children during the Summer and then Thanksgiving, Christmas and spring break? Four times a year, no matter HOW many days are involved - ?

And this part: "Any other approved extended time is to be determined by school schedules."

Who is going to "approve" the schedule?

You don't want the children to fly so you intend to drive them back and forth. So will he miss out a day or two in each direction or do you intend to take them out of school early or return them late (on holidays when school is in session)?

BUT... I already have the kids over 300 days a year anyhow... He has no Holidays as of now , per our divorce decree.

Sure, but he still gets them every other weekend. And if he were so inclined, I would venture to guess that a court would give him more... and that is something that becomes much more difficult if you move.

If you don't believe he will agree to any of this, what is the point? The court is unlikely to do anything that will make things harder for him if he isn't willing. And it does not seem as though he is.

You have the kids over 300 days a year. No one is going to view you as being on the losing end of anything.

You want to drive from PA to MS for every holiday? Im just guessing but isnt that about 1500 miles... each way? NO way a court is going to view that as being in the best interest of the kids.


I also questioned where the travel time is going to fit in, safety issue aside.

I think the agreement as written has the opposite effect for which it is intended - it makes it look like Dad is being cut out of the kids' lives.

It's proposed agreements like this that lead to orders that the mother can't leave the State with the kids - at all.

I think I can sum it up like this Jacobsmommy...

The court does not care one little bit what you want and what is convenient for you. It cares what is fair to the father and what is best for the kids.

It does not seem like you moving out of state is either fair for the father OR best for the kids.

I am considering at this point to take this agreement and shove it down his throat.. I just received a phone call from him screaming drunk telling me that my baby (HIS CHILD) stole his wallet and he wants me to bring him down there NOW . Keep in mind that he is not supposed to consume alcohol around my kids and my son just left his house an hour ago. Sometimes I wish I could just take them away permanently.He doesn't deserve them.

I am considering at this point to take this agreement and shove it down his throat .. I jsut recieved a phone call from him screaming drunk telling me that my baby (HIS CHILD) stole his wallet and he wants me to bring him down there NOW . keep in mind that he is not supposed to consume alcohol around my kids and my son jsut left his house an hour ago. Sometimes I wish I could just take them away permanently.He doesnt deserve them.

Be that as it may...

Keep this in mind... fighting with the father is counterproductive. If he is angry with you he will be much less likely to give you what you want.

Thanks for all your advice.. I really appriciate it.

I am considering at this point to take this agreement and shove it down his throat .. I jsut recieved a phone call from him screaming drunk telling me that my baby (HIS CHILD) stole his wallet and he wants me to bring him down there NOW . keep in mind that he is not supposed to consume alcohol around my kids and my son jsut left his house an hour ago. Sometimes I wish I could just take them away permanently.He doesnt deserve them.



Here's my problem - I believe this is the fourth thread you've opened on this subject. You pretty much have ignored all the advice, posted some of the info and moved on to another thread. Personally, I'm exhausted.

If he is a DANGER to the children, go to Court and prove it. I don't know - maybe he got drunk between the time your son left his house and now. Maybe he drank when your son was there. I don't know. Nobody knows.

Again - go to Court and PROVE your accusations. Have a Court appointed professional interview everyone - you, him, the children - and make recommendations to the Court. If he doesn't "deserve" your children get an Order that he can't see your children.

You keep saying "my" in reference to the children - good, bad or indifferent they are also HIS children.

I started 100% on your side - now I simply can't understand how/why you are spending so much time and energy on an agreement which even if your husband (somehow) signs the Court is NEVER going to put into place. If the children are in danger, do something, do something to protect them.

It is time to combine ALL of the threads. I'm sorry you are upset; I'm sorry you are going through this BUT you are spinning your wheels and wasting time and energy.

Do something productive!

Threads merged. Please don't keep starting new threads for the same issue.