PDA

View Full Version : How to best be supportive?


templelane
Jan 8, 2009, 03:44 PM
My live in boyfriend has just been made unemployed through no fault of his own (company got 'credit crunched'). How can I best be supportive without emasculating him by paying for everything or interfering excessively in his search for work? I want to strike the right balance between being cold and disinterested or being a control freak.

Has anyone been in this situation and can offer advice?

I'm hoping the situation will just be temporary but with the current economic situation I worry his search may be significantly harder than usual.

Romefalls19
Jan 8, 2009, 04:09 PM
Just reassure him that things will be okay and the uncertain turn of events will all be sorted out. Don't let him get too down on himself, let him know you are there for him and will always be there. Times are hard right now for a lot of people and it is difficult to assume when a job will come a long. I know it is hard, I am in the same role as you are. My fiancé is unemployed and having a hard time finding a job because of this economy(Thanks Bush!) but I assure her that things will get better and that she gives me the support I need to continue and I will do the same.

ZoeMarie
Jan 8, 2009, 04:15 PM
I would say as long as he is actively trying to find a job to let him know that things will be OK. They always have a way of working things out. Tell him if he ever needs help with a resume or a cover letter to let you know. Just little things like that.

If he does what my stepmom does then you have a problem. She turns down jobs left and right because they aren't EXACTLY what she wants and goes out shopping with the unemployment money that she gets while leaving my dad with everything to pay for... I wouldn't even worry about this situation, I just wanted to give you an idea of how someone that's not responsible would act.

Yosomoton213
Jan 8, 2009, 09:02 PM
Well, I would have to say that the guy is lucky enough to have someone be supportive of him through thick and thin.

Give him a little bit of grieving time if he needs it, but try to get him back on the horse. Men feel lost without jobs or something to do. He will definitely appreciate your help farther down the road.

talaniman
Jan 10, 2009, 12:38 PM
Treat him the way you would want to be treated, if you were in his shoes. Supportive and reassuring.