Is it a turn-off to be very open with a woman you've just met? I have a habit of being very direct and transparent while conversing with a new woman. I've been celibate, but it hasn't stop me from befriending women. I I've been trying to be on good behavior by honoring Godly principles in respect to marriage. I've been through dozens of women in my past & I've come to a point in my life where I really want marriage and children before I get too old. I've waisted years of my life dealing with women I had no business dealing with in the first place. Aimless sexual relationships with women isn't what I desire. I once told a woman that I'm not desperate to have a woman in my life, but I am desperate for true, fulfilling love. I didn't hear back from her, but I didn't see anything wrong with what I said.


:confused:

Is my approach to women too bold?

I think all men should be open and honest really. Most guys lie and tell you what you want to hear so they can get you in bed. Guys suck. My boyfriend is one that's really open and honest and I love you. You just have to find the right woman. Good luck

i think all men should be open and honest really. most guys lie and tell you what u want to hear so they can get u in bed. guys suck. my bf is one thats really open and honest and i love you. you just have to find the right woman. good luck


Finding one is the solution, but where do you start looking? Being single has it's perks, but it SHOLE IS LONELY...

Um. I don't know where to tell you to look. I actually found my boyfriend online. I will be living with him in 3 days. Um. I hope you find what your looking for.

I like my liquor like I like a man, straight up. I love guys is open and direct, otherwise I woldn't be getting married to my fiancé. He is open and direct among other things.

I am a guy, but I will post anyway. You are a stand up, first class, value having, high standard, moral person, and believe me, ain't nothing wrong with that. You be true to yourself, because in the end, nothing else matters.

Don't EVER look for love, it will find you... when you least expect it. Be you, because that is why you are here. Don't get discouraged, and trust me, enjoy being single.

You might just be meeting the wrong women. I would say try to interact with women that are on the same intellectual level as you are. Women that are ingenuine and boring like to be lied to. A real strong woman can take the truth and knows what she wants.

Maybe it's how you're saying it. I think you have great values and I respect that.. jeez when I get over my ex I will be looking for a guy like that!

But just be careful how you present it to someone, in my opinion the word "desperate" shouldn't be used..

But keep trucking along, God has that right woman waiting for you!

First date... screaming LET'S VEGAS AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES!

Is good to know but not first date stuff

It's good to be open and honest but easy there cowboy.

Dating is about letting things out a little at a time... it's like the difference of filling a sink with a the faucet or the fire hose. The faucet while slower works better.

First date... screaming LET'S VEGAS AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES!!
.

Sooo... what kind of guys have you been dating? :)

I think it's great that's how you feel, but maybe you just scared her if it was the first date.

It's very possible that wasn't where she was at in life and she didn't know any other way to uninvolve her self with someone that was on a more serious hunt. Sometimes too you wouldn't have to tell people that you are desperate, it shows and can be very scary. Calm it down, bring it down a thousand and take it slow... always be yourself, just apply a little filteration when speaking.

I like guys who are honest and straight forward, but if a guy told me he is ready to settle down and have kids, on the first date, I'd be a little hesitant. If he says ; 'd like to have kids someday I'd be fine with that... even on the first date, but it can't be out of context... like I work with kids and it's a good and natural conversation piece and this guy I had a couple of dates with before the holidays said that he like kids and would love to have kids someday and I wasn't scared of by it... b\c I'd like to have kids someday lol. There really is a difference there ;) when your honest and straight forward; timing is everything...

It can't really come out of nowhere, but if your date mentions it then you can subtly sneak it in.

Open and honest is good and it will ensure that anyone who does not share your desires is eliminated from the loop .

However, you don't want to make love and romance sound like you are taking applications for the one and only. It's a bit of a contradiction.

I don't think you need to lay all your cards on the table at once,you might just scare away someone who could be the one.

I would take it on a case by case basis. Feel the situation out a little before you scare away someone who just wants to take it naturally.

Well she asked me some pretty personal in depth questions & to me it hinted toward that. We seemed to hit it off pretty well. I called her back a few days later with no answer. I called her the day after that and it was the same thing. I sent her a few text messages-nothing real bad-just telling her how I liked her & enjoyed her company. Her mom told my buddy that I came off as being desperate, so I replied with the above statement. My buddy said she wasn't answering me because she was playing hard to get. If that really was the case, I don't like those kind of games. It's a turn-off to me and seems real immature. If you like me, tell me. If you don't like me, I'll understand that. I didn't come out to say that right away. I was kind of trying to be being sarcastic, but being clear as to what my true intension's where. I feel that I looked silly and it's bothering me because she is my buddies niece. I feel that it was a bad idea to begin with.

i like guys who are honest and straight forward, but if a guy told me he is ready to settle down and have kids, on the first date, i'd be a little hesitant. If he says ; 'd like to have kids someday i'd be fine with that.... even on the first date, but it can't be out of context... like i work with kids and its a good and natural conversation piece and this guy i had a couple of dates with before the holidays said that he like kids and would love to have kids someday and i wasn't scared of by it... b\c i'd like to have kids someday lol. there really is a difference there ;) when your honest and straight forward; timing is everything...

it can't really come out of nowhere, but if your date mentions it then you can subtly sneak it in.

It did not go down like that. I left out a lot details. I come from a heavy religious background & in that the only reason to date is with marriage in view. I've been in and out of the faith and this girl was not from that. It was an error on my part as I omitted the difference in subcultures. The whole thing just reminds me that I don't belong outside of the faith that I've grown to know. I should not have been in her company that way at all. I understand where I went wrong and I'm sure she thinks I'm an absolute nut, but if she knew where I come from, she'd understand me.

New Relationships are like taking a sh** everything works out better if you just go with the flow and don't push so much, cause if you don'y, you end up a mess and reallt hurting! :D

Hope this helps!!

New Relationships are like taking a sh** everything works out better if you just go with the flow and don't push so much, cause if you don'y, you end up a mess and reallt hurtin! :D

hope this helps!!!!


Lol that's a very interesting analogy...

Well I think it was a matter of tone

For example, "I want you to have my babies" is too strong...

On the other hand, "I like kids" or "I'd like to have a few kids someday."

Too strong, "LET'S GO GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW!"

Mild, "I'd love to get married someday"

On a serious note.

I think a person who LOOKS and SEARCHES for that special person is usually the person who is either pressured into marriage by this thought of finding a soulmate or ends up alone, hurt and older then when you started. (which is no good)

Listening to you talk I can tell you're very grounded and know what you want in life as far as personal goals and achievements. I just think this marriage and wife thing is something you WANT more because you're getting older and you feel like if not now then you'll miss out forever! While this may be the case, pressuring yourself into a marriage and children with the potentially wrong person is not good for any persons invloved.

My advice would be to stop looking so hard. Be confident in whatever it is that makes you YOU and it will show. There are women that like the grounded, mature and confident man and eventually it will happen. I am not saying to stop looking all together but be more patient with what you discover!

Good Luck

Sometimes people do forget...

Single life at any age can be fun

There are the weird dates (for example the guy that showed up at my house in a klingon costume with worms; his version of roses apparently; still makes me laugh) and I'm sure he'll find some one but we had very different ideas and weren't very compatible. I'm a little more traditional to say the least.

And it can be a little more free.

Then when you go through the gf/bf stage there's the huge amount of nerves but you create memories.

Then there's the fiancé phase where you wonder if all the stress is really worth it and vegas comes to mind and just have want to have the elvis wedding

Then there's the married phase and you're stuck with the person... in a good way

Just always remember to enjoy yourself

You seem to want to rush things a bit

Well I'm no angel by far. I've had many women in my life. I've had a some one night stands and I've had friendships that just involved sex. The last serious relationship I had was about a year & a half ago. She was very beautiful and in fact, she was a model. Looks are somewhat important to me but not to the extreme. We where serious, but I got with her 6 months after a 5 year relationship that was terrible. The woman I was with for 5 years wasn't very attractive, but I loved her. She just had some insecurity issues that really killed our relationship. I started going to church and the whole 9 yards on the religious level and the fornication (sex outside marriage) issue with the model started ripping me apart. I loved her company, but when I shared with her that I wanted to pursue marriage because I felt what we where doing was wrong, she left me. She said that she wasn't ready for that, so I didn't argue about it and just let her go. I continued to go to church, but being alone was really bitting at me. I was passing up women left & right in an effort to do what was morally sound, but then I slipped up & got to dealing with several women on the sexual level again for about 3 months and I faded out of church. Once again, guilt kicked in and I dropped the women and went back to church-boy I'm a case ain't I? I've been celibate and alone for about a year now and I'd been sort of sluggish on the spiritual level. I'd been doing some serious soul searching and I feel what I recently said to the young lady this whole topic is over was a subconscious reaction. I think I liked her so much that it kind of scared me. She had many qualities that I really liked and expressed a strong interest in me, but God was absent in her life. I was just kind of embarrassed after the fact when they took my comment as being desperate. I really had a thing for this girl and was in the midst of a heavy battle within myself over the issue. A part of me wanted her bad, but my spiritual sense said no. I already knew her a little and I'd developed prior interest in her. Before I met her, I was striving to further gather myself spiritually. Deep within I want to do the things pleasing to God and I really would like a wife who'd share my spiritual interest. A family that prays together stays together. I'm just tired of dead-end relationships with fast women and I just want to do things right. I'm not perfect and I'm just a weak fleshly man. Sex and female companionship has always proved to be a severe weakness for me. I think the logical approach to this is to get married, but to someone who'll also be a source of spiritual strength for me. Marriage is a three fold cord. The husband and wife are on the outside and God is in the middle. Marriage can be a challenge, but without the one who instituted it, it has no foundation.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10
9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

i like guys who are honest and straight forward, but if a guy told me he is ready to settle down and have kids, on the first date, i'd be a little hesitant. If he says ; 'd like to have kids someday i'd be fine with that.... even on the first date, but it can't be out of context... like i work with kids and its a good and natural conversation piece and this guy i had a couple of dates with before the holidays said that he like kids and would love to have kids someday and i wasn't scared of by it... b\c i'd like to have kids someday lol. there really is a difference there ;) when your honest and straight forward; timing is everything...

it can't really come out of nowhere, but if your date mentions it then you can subtly sneak it in.

I'd been doing some serious soul searching and I feel what I recently said to the young lady this whole topic is over was a subconscious reaction. I really know better than to say something like that to someone that I just met. I think subconsciously I threw a wrench in it. I liked her so much that it kind of scared me and I didn't want it to blow up in my face like others have in the recent past. She had many qualities that I really liked and expressed a strong interest in me, but God was absent in her life. I was just kind of embarrassed after the fact when they took my comment as being desperate. I really had a thing for this girl and was in the midst of a heavy battle within myself over the issue. A part of me wanted her bad, but my spiritual sense said no. I already knew her a little and I'd developed prior interest in her. Before I met her, I was striving to further gather myself spiritually. Deep within I want to do the things pleasing to God and I really would like a wife who'd share my spiritual interest. A family that prays together stays together. I'm just tired of dead-end relationships with fast women and I just want to do things right. I'm not perfect and I'm just a weak fleshly man. Sex and female companionship has always proved to be a severe weakness for me. I think the logical approach to this is to get married, but to someone who'll also be a source of spiritual strength for me. Marriage is a three fold cord. The husband and wife are on the outside and God is in the middle. Marriage can be a challenge, but without the one who instituted it, it has no foundation.

I wish my boyfriend was more open and direct. Communication is so important and you both have to be on the same page. Maybe that's my problem. I say keep it up what's the worst that can happen, you find your true love.

I wish my boyfriend was more open and direct. Communication is so important and you both have to be on the same page. Maybe thats my problem. I say keep it up whats the worst that can happen, you find your true love.

Single life for me has had it's perks, but I feel I need and want serious companionship. I've had flings and things and I've partied to wound up in foreign places. I've had sex with no emotional connection with my partner. I've been there, done it and I really can't see any real enjoyment in any of that crap. When I was doing those things, I was a boy prone to boyish things. I've grown up and now I am a man so I must put away with those childish things that that belong to the hearts of boys. I want love, but I know I must prove to be the man that I need to be. First I must seek God and a mate second and in doing so, he'll provide one for me.

Well I'm no angel by far. I've had many women in my life. I've had a some one night stands and I've had friendships that just involved sex. The last serious relationship I had was about a year & a half ago. She was very beautiful and in fact, she was a model. Looks are somewhat important to me but not to the extreme. We where serious, but I got with her 6 months after a 5 year relationship that was terrible. The woman I was with for 5 years wasn't very attractive, but I loved her. She just had some insecurity issues that really killed our relationship. I started going to church and the whole 9 yards on the religious level and the fornication (sex outside marriage) issue with the model started ripping me apart. I loved her company, but when I shared with her that I wanted to pursue marriage because I felt what we where doing was wrong, she left me. She said that she wasn't ready for that, so I didn't argue about it and just let her go. I continued to go to church, but being alone was really bitting at me. I was passing up women left & right in an effort to do what was morally sound, but then I slipped up & got to dealing with several women on the sexual level again for about 3 months and I faded out of church. Once again, guilt kicked in and I dropped the women and went back to church-boy I'm a case ain't I? I've been celibate and alone for about a year now and I'd been sorta sluggish on the spiritual level. I'd been doing some serious soul searching and I feel what I recently said to the young lady this whole topic is over was a subconscious reaction. I think I liked her so much that it kinda scared me. She had many qualities that I really liked and expressed a strong interest in me, but God was absent in her life. I was just kind of embarrassed after the fact when they took my comment as being desperate. I really had a thing for this girl and was in the midst of a heavy battle within myself over the issue. A part of me wanted her bad, but my spiritual sense said no. I already knew her a little and I'd developed prior interest in her. Before I met her, I was striving to further gather myself spiritually. Deep within I want to do the things pleasing to God and I really would like a wife who'd share my spiritual interest. A family that prays together stays together. I'm just tired of dead-end relationships with fast women and I just want to do things right. I'm not perfect and I'm just a weak fleshly man. Sex and female companionship has always proved to be a severe weakness for me. I think the logical approach to this is to get married, but to someone who'll also be a source of spiritual strength for me. Marriage is a three fold cord. The husband and wife are on the outside and God is in the middle. Marriage can be a challenge, but without the one who instituted it, it has no foundation.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10
9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Well if you're a case I'm a book.

I'm not perfect at all. I'm just human. Everybody on here human.

As far as the you want to date someone that has your religious values. Does your church have a singles group? Lots of churches I know do have single groups and the main problem with your previous relationships is the women don't share your religious values.

Well if you're a case i'm a book.

I'm not perfect at all. I'm just human. Everybody on here human.

As far as the you want to date someone that has your religious values. Does your church have a singles group? Lots of churches I know do have single groups and the main problem with your previous relationships is the women don't share your religious values.

You are absolutely right. I'm too nice, highly sensitive and I know I get attached and distracted easily. It's just Satan placing bear traps in my path. I'm not a braggart, but on a scale from 1-10 I'll say I'm a 9. When I put my head down to try to do as I should, here they come by the dozens. Beautiful, smart, etc. I just have to work harder at putting my foot down and keeping my head and eyes straight forward. Most of all I need to examine patience.

It seems to be that being too straight-forward might be a turn off. Why don't you take it easy? Stop rushing... take it slow, you sound like a good guy. It's great to be honest, but when you're only dating, putting everything on the plate, handing them a contract and it's as if they have no option but to sign it.

it seems to be that being too straight-forward might be a turn off. why don't you take it easy? stop rushing... take it slow, you sound like a good guy. it's great to be honest, but when you're only dating, putting everything on the plate, handing them a contract and it's as if they have no option but to sign it.

Yes. It puts a lot of pressure on your date. There must be a single christians group somewhere in your area... maybe you should speak with your pastor about this.